Finding God
He didn't know why he was there, but he was. There was a church that was still standing in Seattle, and even after having driven back home all night, he still couldn't find himself wanting to sleep, and he wandered inside.
It was the first time he had stepped in a church since his mother had died. He remembered that day, sitting in the front during the funeral, and being unable to do anything but stare at the casket of the one person that was his world be ushered off to the next one.
So much had happened to him since then. So much pain and anger, loss, and even now while things were heading back to resembling as normal of a life he could have... Ben still found himself floundering for a place in this world.
The djinn world had given him everything he had ever wanted. Things he could never have here - would never have. And with Anna turning down his marriage proposal, it was just another reminder that he couldn't have it.
Part of him wanted his father to just sit with him and help him understand, but he knew that Dean had greater responsibilities. Another reminder at how messed up his life was - his father was an archangel. It was impossible now to really just sit around and drink beers with him while watching a football game - a real father that Ben had wanted so much all his life, and stripped away from him before he even had a chance to really know him outside of disaster after disaster.
Alec was now off with his friends. Sam and Ruby were married and starting a family. And once again, Ben was all alone.
"What did I do that was so wrong?" he whispered softly, leaning his head forward to rest on the pew in front of him. "I just don't understand why..."
It was the first time he had stepped in a church since his mother had died. He remembered that day, sitting in the front during the funeral, and being unable to do anything but stare at the casket of the one person that was his world be ushered off to the next one.
So much had happened to him since then. So much pain and anger, loss, and even now while things were heading back to resembling as normal of a life he could have... Ben still found himself floundering for a place in this world.
The djinn world had given him everything he had ever wanted. Things he could never have here - would never have. And with Anna turning down his marriage proposal, it was just another reminder that he couldn't have it.
Part of him wanted his father to just sit with him and help him understand, but he knew that Dean had greater responsibilities. Another reminder at how messed up his life was - his father was an archangel. It was impossible now to really just sit around and drink beers with him while watching a football game - a real father that Ben had wanted so much all his life, and stripped away from him before he even had a chance to really know him outside of disaster after disaster.
Alec was now off with his friends. Sam and Ruby were married and starting a family. And once again, Ben was all alone.
"What did I do that was so wrong?" he whispered softly, leaning his head forward to rest on the pew in front of him. "I just don't understand why..."