In which they debate.
[Cleaned up AIM log between Alec and House. Technically supposed to go before THIS. Oops?]
Alec: [has been drifting around, stops looking at the phrenology head. After a minute he picks it up and examines it, like he's trying to puzzle something out.] If someone is capable of regenerating and repairing their central nervous system, why wouldn't things work that same the second time around?
House: [stares] ...Run that one by me again.
Alec: [repeats]
House: I think I'm gonna need context for this.
Alec: If you remove a bit of someone's brain, why wouldn't it do the same thing as it used to when it grows back?
House: Depends which part of the brain you're talking about, and why it was removed.
Alec [ponders that for a long minute] Huh.
House: And this random foray into neurology is sponsored by ...?
Alec: I was trying to figure out why my brain doesn't work the way it used to. But since I don't know what part was missing for a while, you can't answer.
House: [nods for a moment, thinking] Some things don't grow back. Sometimes all that grows back is the gray matter -- not what the gray matter was supposed to do. For example, the cells that held memories may grow back, but the memories themselves are gone forever.
Alec: So they could have the same function, but not the same content.
House: Exactly.
Alec: [sets the head back down] Interesting. I wonder if they knew that.
House: They meaning Manticore?
Alec: [nods]
House: If they had a halfway decent neurologist, most likely yes.
Alec: They would have just kept doing it over and over again. [pause] Huh. [then he rushes to the sink and is sick.]
House: [pushes himself up a bit and moves to follow him]
Alec: [after a minute or two he finishes and quickly rinses the sink]
House: You alright?
Alec: I don't think so. But I don't think it's anything new. I'm surprised by my ability to be surprised.
House: Well, it keeps things interesting.
Alec: That's very philosophical of you.
House: Would you rather be bored?
Alec: If you knew the people I know you might prefer it.
House: [shrugs]
Alec: Do you ever looks at people and wonder what the point is? So many of them are awful.
House: [shrugs again] We're a freak of evolution. A quirk in the genome. We need to make our own choices, and some of them are better than others.
Alec: You stop evolution every day.
House: I can't stop evolution. Slow it down, maybe, but I can't stop it.
Alec: Do you do it for the puzzle, because it's your job or because you don't want people to die?
House: I'm not sure what you're getting at.
Alec: I'm not sure either. [he shakes his head a bit] Maybe I'm trying to decide what makes an action something go or something bad.
House: Most people argue it's either result or intent.
Alec: And I wonder which is really is.
House: You'd have to ask a priest, if you believed in that kind of thing.
Alec: I do. But I think you'd have to skip up higher than that. Then there is the secondary questions of will they answer, and do they know.
House: Well, I'd say go to the source, but I hear God isn't so big on answering back.
Alec: [he looks up and then shrugs] It depends on what the question is or what you want. And maybe who you are. Or what you are.
House: [eyebrow raise]
Alec: [he blinks] What?
House: Have you met God lately?
Alec: [nods]
House: Really.
Alec: [nods again]
House: And did you also hit your head on the way in?
Alec: No.
Alec: She does exist. And I'm pretty sure there are a lot of people that don't feel better because of it.
House: God exists. And God's a she?
Alec: God's God. Maybe she got sick of penises. I didn't ask.
House: Riiiiiiiight.
Alec: See that's a questions I bet you could get answered.
House: Well, next time you see her, let me know what she says.
Alec: A visual isn't really nessasary. [he looks up again] Are penises passé?
House: [unamused]
God: ....Eh. Women are just a bit more unassuming. I can blend in easier.
Alec: She says "....Eh. Women are just a bit more unassuming. I can blend in easier." [Because one shouldn't paraphrase God. He suspects that's what the crappy parts of the Bible came from]
House: [stares]
Alec: What? [shrugs] I think that would be a more viable answer if the body is question was average looking, but no one canvassed my opinion on the matter. [he looks a little less wilted than he did a few minutes ago though.]
House: [now there's a headtilt]
Alec: [head tilt in the opposite direction, curious]
House: Huh.
Alec: Yes?
House: Well -- good for you.
Alec: Is it? [he's picking up on things a bit better]
House: I don't know if it's God you're talking to [because House, ever the skeptic] but whoever it is -- she seems to do you good.
Alec: What makes you say that?
House: [shrugs] You seem more like yourself.
Alec: Oh. [considers] Can you seem like someone other than yourself if you aren't pretending?
House: [nod]
Alec: I guess. [clearly he doesn't notice the difference. Aside from the fact that she makes him feel warmer and less alone]
House: [still just watches him, worried]
Alec: [and now he picks up on it] You're doing the worried thing. It's subtle but there.
House: What happened?
Alec: [suddenly cautious] What?
House: Something -- changed.
Alec: When do you mean?
House: Between now and the last time I saw you.
Alec: [is quiet for a long, long minute] My family's gone.
House: [frowns] How do you mean?
Alec: [shrugs] Gone. Can't be accounted for. Had other obligations. Gone.
House: [quiet] I'm sorry to hear that.
Alec: Yeah. Me too. [another long pause] It was nice while it lasted.
House: [sighs. he hates being right about people sometimes, but he's not going to say it]
Alec: [starts to fade out again, hugging his arms around himself] I'm like that Kipling story.
House: ...Which one?
Alec: The Cat Who Walks By Himself. All the stuff in the cave is nice. The fire, the milk, dry place to sleep, being pet. But I don't need it.
House: Everyone has needs.
Alec: Needs change.
House: Some needs don't.
Alec: No they don't. But I made a mistake. Needs and wants aren't the same thing.
House: Some of them are.
Alec: [he shakes his head, and looks away, looking a little wobbly] I had let myself forget. It was an illusion. That there was fairness. That maybe everything could be alright. And maybe it can, but not for me. That's not my place. Not what I'm here for. And if I hadn't forgotten it would have hurt. But I did forget and then I wanted. [he moves away to look out a window.] Two years as a brother and son can't contradict a lifetime of purpose.
House: [exhales -- saying what he wants to say about Dean right now won't help] Even if the purpose should have never been forced on you to begin with?
Alec: [shakes his head and leans against the glass] That's not my choice to make.
House: Who the hell says?
Alec: The people that made me. All the people that made me.
House: Alec, most of those people are dead or worse. You're on your own. You're free to make your own damn choices.
Alec: [suddenly angry] No, I'm not! I hate being alone! But I'm still here! I'm still right here. They're all gone and I'm still here. Don't you think I asked?
House: [fights back, because he's not afraid to do so] Family doesn't end with blood. In fact, sometimes family doesn't have anything to do with blood. Sometimes your blood family sucks so much that you need to find real family outside that one in order to make things feel worth it, but when something falls through like that, you don't just roll over and take it! If you need to be with people, then find people to be with. Otherwise, you're only adding to your own misery.
Alec: [laughs, and it's a pretty unpleasant sound, then he shakes his head] I'm sick of loosing people. I can't do this anymore. I don't know how. And no matter how hard I fight it never works. If I gain a foot someone pulls the carpet out from under me and I lose two feet. 23 years may not seem like a lot to many people but time is relative and it's been a long 23 years.
House: Oh, that's a bullshit excuse. Death happens. People leave. It's a part of life. And maybe your twenty three years has been longer than most, but we all know what it's like to have people leave us, Alec. It's not always pretty, and it's never fair, but it's what we have to do in order to survive. Now if you want that family, you go, get it, and do your damndest to keep it. Otherwise, people are gonna start to wonder if you really loved them to begin with.
Alec: [his fist came up and punched clear through the plate glass window before either of them had time to blink. He yanked it back through with little regard to his own safety. Jinx cringed and whined, clearly worried about any number of things] Don't you say that. [he held his fist up in front of him and slowly flexed his fingers. Not like it hurt but more like he was fascinated by the blood welling and dripping from the cuts on his knuckles, the back of his hand and around his wrist.] Want and love won’t bring them back. Ben doesn't want to be found. Ruby's trying to get Sam back in his feet. Amy's burned her bridges but good. Even if I'll forgive her, no one else will. And Dad? [he laughed that sick laugh again] Needs change, [he drew a symbol on one of the larger shards of glass still in the window. Michael's symbol. He didn't even know how he knew it. His finger hesitated for a second and then he pulled his hand away before he could connect the last line. He could see the power in it waiting to be set free. He knew drawing an angel or a demon's sigil in willingly sacrificed blood was a pretty sure fire summons.] We aren't what he needs any more. And to compel someone like him even partially against his will is wrong. So very, very profoundly wrong. [but he still stared at the mark on the glass longingly anyway.]
House: [watches him carefully, before heading over to one of the cabinets and pulling out some bandages, at least to clean up some of the blood, before reaching for his hand] Let me see.
Alec: [sighs a little and lets House have his hand, but says nothing]
House: [has a response for what he said, but wants to see if he's gonna need stitches or not first. looks him over slowly]
Alec: [most likely did more damage pulling it back through than he did actually breaking the glass. Apparently he has a habit of breaking reflective surfaces] Sorry about the window. [it was a murmer.]
House: [shrugs] It's fixable. [moves his hand down to Alec's elbow, pushing him up] C'mon. I need things I don't have here.
Alec: [stood when prompted and followed being herded on the other side by Jinx] Foreman will be pissed. [he looks back over his shoulder at the sigil still sitting there waiting once before letting House lead him out of the room]
House: [sits him down in one of the hospital rooms, a table between them for him to work, and gets the suture kit and tweezers before gloving up and looking over his hand] Ben and your uncle will come around. It may take time, and it may take a little bit of patience, but they will. No one can make it alone for very long, and your family is one of the better ones, which means they've got this annoying little thing called attachment. Things might be bad right now, but eventually they're going to get sick of being miserable and alone and start needing each other again. Just keep in mind that they all lost something, and they all might be feeling the same way -- how staying attached is only getting them into trouble. [knows the scars of people who have lost a lot, and sees it a lot on the Winchesters' faces]
Alec: [looks down at Jinx who has his chin resting on his master's thigh and the dog clearly thought that maybe he should listen to House] Dad. . . [he swallowed] He's the person who holds us all together. [he pillowed his head on his other arm as he watched House patch his hand back together. It was finally starting to hurt and the burn of it was clearing his head a little]
House: [glances over at him as he works, pulling out the pieces of glass gently] Well, if Dean doesn't want the job, maybe someone else should try and take over. If they were only around you just because of Dean, you'd know it, and you wouldn't have been as happy as you claim to have been.
Alec: Ben's the only one of us that's emotionally competent at all. [which is Alec's way of saying he doesn't know what to do.]
House: No one ever said you had to be emotionally competent. [sighs slightly] What exactly was it that Dean did that made you think he held you together so well? Something he said, the way he handled things -- what?
Alec: I. . . [he'd never been asked to analyze it before] He's everyone's father. He just. . .knew how to handle us even if he thought he didn't.
House: Out of who's left -- do you know how to relate to them? Maybe not in the same way he did, but in a way that gets them to react the same way. Do you know how to talk to your uncle and actually get him to listen or comfort your brother when he needs it? No one said it had to be socially acceptable -- it just has to work.
Alec: [he shook his head a little where it lay against his arm.] I don't know. They're so. . . fucking Winchester about it all.
House: [finishes cleaning out all the glass, and starts to irrigate the cuts] Winchester?
Alec: The basic inability to do any sort of emotional communication. And the insistence that one is fine. Despite all evidence to the contrary including possible gouts of blood. I'm the whiney, needy one.
House: This being said by the kid who passed out in the middle of a crowded ER with serious internal injuries after insisting that he was 'fine'?
Alec: . . . that would be a good example. Yes.
House: [snorts] If you're the whiny, needy one, I suggest you do what you do best and be whiny and needy. Track 'em down and integrate yourself back in. Because I may not know a lot about what it is your family does, but I do know one thing -- if you don't at least try to get them back, you certainly never well. If you try, you at least have a chance for things to work.
Alec: [he snorted] What we do is get screwed. It's not fair to make them take care of me when they've got their own issues. [Jinx gave a dog moan. Way to illustrate a point Alec.]
House: Everybody has issues. Everybody has problems. And it's not like you can't help them as well.
Alec: Holy Hell, I hope no one else has problems like ours.
House: Problems are relative. But some problems, you can't deal with alone. And they're not necessarily going to be able to deal alone either.
Alec: I lived for 20 years without a parent at all. Why is it suddenly so hard?
House: Because parents are important things. They give you something that no other person on the planet can, and you don't know the value it really has until you don't have it. Or something.
Alec: I just. . .want him back. And I think it makes me selfish. [He sounded as pitiful as he felt]
House: There's nothing selfish about wanting someone to be there for you. Part of the human condition -- and you are, in fact, part human.
Alec: Yeah, it often comes up when it's inconvenient. The Beatles are wrong, but the Stones are right. I feel depressed.
House: [sighs, and dresses the wound after finishing the stitches] The Stones also said that if you try sometimes you just might find that you get what you need.
Alec: [has been drifting around, stops looking at the phrenology head. After a minute he picks it up and examines it, like he's trying to puzzle something out.] If someone is capable of regenerating and repairing their central nervous system, why wouldn't things work that same the second time around?
House: [stares] ...Run that one by me again.
Alec: [repeats]
House: I think I'm gonna need context for this.
Alec: If you remove a bit of someone's brain, why wouldn't it do the same thing as it used to when it grows back?
House: Depends which part of the brain you're talking about, and why it was removed.
Alec [ponders that for a long minute] Huh.
House: And this random foray into neurology is sponsored by ...?
Alec: I was trying to figure out why my brain doesn't work the way it used to. But since I don't know what part was missing for a while, you can't answer.
House: [nods for a moment, thinking] Some things don't grow back. Sometimes all that grows back is the gray matter -- not what the gray matter was supposed to do. For example, the cells that held memories may grow back, but the memories themselves are gone forever.
Alec: So they could have the same function, but not the same content.
House: Exactly.
Alec: [sets the head back down] Interesting. I wonder if they knew that.
House: They meaning Manticore?
Alec: [nods]
House: If they had a halfway decent neurologist, most likely yes.
Alec: They would have just kept doing it over and over again. [pause] Huh. [then he rushes to the sink and is sick.]
House: [pushes himself up a bit and moves to follow him]
Alec: [after a minute or two he finishes and quickly rinses the sink]
House: You alright?
Alec: I don't think so. But I don't think it's anything new. I'm surprised by my ability to be surprised.
House: Well, it keeps things interesting.
Alec: That's very philosophical of you.
House: Would you rather be bored?
Alec: If you knew the people I know you might prefer it.
House: [shrugs]
Alec: Do you ever looks at people and wonder what the point is? So many of them are awful.
House: [shrugs again] We're a freak of evolution. A quirk in the genome. We need to make our own choices, and some of them are better than others.
Alec: You stop evolution every day.
House: I can't stop evolution. Slow it down, maybe, but I can't stop it.
Alec: Do you do it for the puzzle, because it's your job or because you don't want people to die?
House: I'm not sure what you're getting at.
Alec: I'm not sure either. [he shakes his head a bit] Maybe I'm trying to decide what makes an action something go or something bad.
House: Most people argue it's either result or intent.
Alec: And I wonder which is really is.
House: You'd have to ask a priest, if you believed in that kind of thing.
Alec: I do. But I think you'd have to skip up higher than that. Then there is the secondary questions of will they answer, and do they know.
House: Well, I'd say go to the source, but I hear God isn't so big on answering back.
Alec: [he looks up and then shrugs] It depends on what the question is or what you want. And maybe who you are. Or what you are.
House: [eyebrow raise]
Alec: [he blinks] What?
House: Have you met God lately?
Alec: [nods]
House: Really.
Alec: [nods again]
House: And did you also hit your head on the way in?
Alec: No.
Alec: She does exist. And I'm pretty sure there are a lot of people that don't feel better because of it.
House: God exists. And God's a she?
Alec: God's God. Maybe she got sick of penises. I didn't ask.
House: Riiiiiiiight.
Alec: See that's a questions I bet you could get answered.
House: Well, next time you see her, let me know what she says.
Alec: A visual isn't really nessasary. [he looks up again] Are penises passé?
House: [unamused]
God: ....Eh. Women are just a bit more unassuming. I can blend in easier.
Alec: She says "....Eh. Women are just a bit more unassuming. I can blend in easier." [Because one shouldn't paraphrase God. He suspects that's what the crappy parts of the Bible came from]
House: [stares]
Alec: What? [shrugs] I think that would be a more viable answer if the body is question was average looking, but no one canvassed my opinion on the matter. [he looks a little less wilted than he did a few minutes ago though.]
House: [now there's a headtilt]
Alec: [head tilt in the opposite direction, curious]
House: Huh.
Alec: Yes?
House: Well -- good for you.
Alec: Is it? [he's picking up on things a bit better]
House: I don't know if it's God you're talking to [because House, ever the skeptic] but whoever it is -- she seems to do you good.
Alec: What makes you say that?
House: [shrugs] You seem more like yourself.
Alec: Oh. [considers] Can you seem like someone other than yourself if you aren't pretending?
House: [nod]
Alec: I guess. [clearly he doesn't notice the difference. Aside from the fact that she makes him feel warmer and less alone]
House: [still just watches him, worried]
Alec: [and now he picks up on it] You're doing the worried thing. It's subtle but there.
House: What happened?
Alec: [suddenly cautious] What?
House: Something -- changed.
Alec: When do you mean?
House: Between now and the last time I saw you.
Alec: [is quiet for a long, long minute] My family's gone.
House: [frowns] How do you mean?
Alec: [shrugs] Gone. Can't be accounted for. Had other obligations. Gone.
House: [quiet] I'm sorry to hear that.
Alec: Yeah. Me too. [another long pause] It was nice while it lasted.
House: [sighs. he hates being right about people sometimes, but he's not going to say it]
Alec: [starts to fade out again, hugging his arms around himself] I'm like that Kipling story.
House: ...Which one?
Alec: The Cat Who Walks By Himself. All the stuff in the cave is nice. The fire, the milk, dry place to sleep, being pet. But I don't need it.
House: Everyone has needs.
Alec: Needs change.
House: Some needs don't.
Alec: No they don't. But I made a mistake. Needs and wants aren't the same thing.
House: Some of them are.
Alec: [he shakes his head, and looks away, looking a little wobbly] I had let myself forget. It was an illusion. That there was fairness. That maybe everything could be alright. And maybe it can, but not for me. That's not my place. Not what I'm here for. And if I hadn't forgotten it would have hurt. But I did forget and then I wanted. [he moves away to look out a window.] Two years as a brother and son can't contradict a lifetime of purpose.
House: [exhales -- saying what he wants to say about Dean right now won't help] Even if the purpose should have never been forced on you to begin with?
Alec: [shakes his head and leans against the glass] That's not my choice to make.
House: Who the hell says?
Alec: The people that made me. All the people that made me.
House: Alec, most of those people are dead or worse. You're on your own. You're free to make your own damn choices.
Alec: [suddenly angry] No, I'm not! I hate being alone! But I'm still here! I'm still right here. They're all gone and I'm still here. Don't you think I asked?
House: [fights back, because he's not afraid to do so] Family doesn't end with blood. In fact, sometimes family doesn't have anything to do with blood. Sometimes your blood family sucks so much that you need to find real family outside that one in order to make things feel worth it, but when something falls through like that, you don't just roll over and take it! If you need to be with people, then find people to be with. Otherwise, you're only adding to your own misery.
Alec: [laughs, and it's a pretty unpleasant sound, then he shakes his head] I'm sick of loosing people. I can't do this anymore. I don't know how. And no matter how hard I fight it never works. If I gain a foot someone pulls the carpet out from under me and I lose two feet. 23 years may not seem like a lot to many people but time is relative and it's been a long 23 years.
House: Oh, that's a bullshit excuse. Death happens. People leave. It's a part of life. And maybe your twenty three years has been longer than most, but we all know what it's like to have people leave us, Alec. It's not always pretty, and it's never fair, but it's what we have to do in order to survive. Now if you want that family, you go, get it, and do your damndest to keep it. Otherwise, people are gonna start to wonder if you really loved them to begin with.
Alec: [his fist came up and punched clear through the plate glass window before either of them had time to blink. He yanked it back through with little regard to his own safety. Jinx cringed and whined, clearly worried about any number of things] Don't you say that. [he held his fist up in front of him and slowly flexed his fingers. Not like it hurt but more like he was fascinated by the blood welling and dripping from the cuts on his knuckles, the back of his hand and around his wrist.] Want and love won’t bring them back. Ben doesn't want to be found. Ruby's trying to get Sam back in his feet. Amy's burned her bridges but good. Even if I'll forgive her, no one else will. And Dad? [he laughed that sick laugh again] Needs change, [he drew a symbol on one of the larger shards of glass still in the window. Michael's symbol. He didn't even know how he knew it. His finger hesitated for a second and then he pulled his hand away before he could connect the last line. He could see the power in it waiting to be set free. He knew drawing an angel or a demon's sigil in willingly sacrificed blood was a pretty sure fire summons.] We aren't what he needs any more. And to compel someone like him even partially against his will is wrong. So very, very profoundly wrong. [but he still stared at the mark on the glass longingly anyway.]
House: [watches him carefully, before heading over to one of the cabinets and pulling out some bandages, at least to clean up some of the blood, before reaching for his hand] Let me see.
Alec: [sighs a little and lets House have his hand, but says nothing]
House: [has a response for what he said, but wants to see if he's gonna need stitches or not first. looks him over slowly]
Alec: [most likely did more damage pulling it back through than he did actually breaking the glass. Apparently he has a habit of breaking reflective surfaces] Sorry about the window. [it was a murmer.]
House: [shrugs] It's fixable. [moves his hand down to Alec's elbow, pushing him up] C'mon. I need things I don't have here.
Alec: [stood when prompted and followed being herded on the other side by Jinx] Foreman will be pissed. [he looks back over his shoulder at the sigil still sitting there waiting once before letting House lead him out of the room]
House: [sits him down in one of the hospital rooms, a table between them for him to work, and gets the suture kit and tweezers before gloving up and looking over his hand] Ben and your uncle will come around. It may take time, and it may take a little bit of patience, but they will. No one can make it alone for very long, and your family is one of the better ones, which means they've got this annoying little thing called attachment. Things might be bad right now, but eventually they're going to get sick of being miserable and alone and start needing each other again. Just keep in mind that they all lost something, and they all might be feeling the same way -- how staying attached is only getting them into trouble. [knows the scars of people who have lost a lot, and sees it a lot on the Winchesters' faces]
Alec: [looks down at Jinx who has his chin resting on his master's thigh and the dog clearly thought that maybe he should listen to House] Dad. . . [he swallowed] He's the person who holds us all together. [he pillowed his head on his other arm as he watched House patch his hand back together. It was finally starting to hurt and the burn of it was clearing his head a little]
House: [glances over at him as he works, pulling out the pieces of glass gently] Well, if Dean doesn't want the job, maybe someone else should try and take over. If they were only around you just because of Dean, you'd know it, and you wouldn't have been as happy as you claim to have been.
Alec: Ben's the only one of us that's emotionally competent at all. [which is Alec's way of saying he doesn't know what to do.]
House: No one ever said you had to be emotionally competent. [sighs slightly] What exactly was it that Dean did that made you think he held you together so well? Something he said, the way he handled things -- what?
Alec: I. . . [he'd never been asked to analyze it before] He's everyone's father. He just. . .knew how to handle us even if he thought he didn't.
House: Out of who's left -- do you know how to relate to them? Maybe not in the same way he did, but in a way that gets them to react the same way. Do you know how to talk to your uncle and actually get him to listen or comfort your brother when he needs it? No one said it had to be socially acceptable -- it just has to work.
Alec: [he shook his head a little where it lay against his arm.] I don't know. They're so. . . fucking Winchester about it all.
House: [finishes cleaning out all the glass, and starts to irrigate the cuts] Winchester?
Alec: The basic inability to do any sort of emotional communication. And the insistence that one is fine. Despite all evidence to the contrary including possible gouts of blood. I'm the whiney, needy one.
House: This being said by the kid who passed out in the middle of a crowded ER with serious internal injuries after insisting that he was 'fine'?
Alec: . . . that would be a good example. Yes.
House: [snorts] If you're the whiny, needy one, I suggest you do what you do best and be whiny and needy. Track 'em down and integrate yourself back in. Because I may not know a lot about what it is your family does, but I do know one thing -- if you don't at least try to get them back, you certainly never well. If you try, you at least have a chance for things to work.
Alec: [he snorted] What we do is get screwed. It's not fair to make them take care of me when they've got their own issues. [Jinx gave a dog moan. Way to illustrate a point Alec.]
House: Everybody has issues. Everybody has problems. And it's not like you can't help them as well.
Alec: Holy Hell, I hope no one else has problems like ours.
House: Problems are relative. But some problems, you can't deal with alone. And they're not necessarily going to be able to deal alone either.
Alec: I lived for 20 years without a parent at all. Why is it suddenly so hard?
House: Because parents are important things. They give you something that no other person on the planet can, and you don't know the value it really has until you don't have it. Or something.
Alec: I just. . .want him back. And I think it makes me selfish. [He sounded as pitiful as he felt]
House: There's nothing selfish about wanting someone to be there for you. Part of the human condition -- and you are, in fact, part human.
Alec: Yeah, it often comes up when it's inconvenient. The Beatles are wrong, but the Stones are right. I feel depressed.
House: [sighs, and dresses the wound after finishing the stitches] The Stones also said that if you try sometimes you just might find that you get what you need.