In which the shit hits the fan.
It was the flash of light that ended the battle as Michael's sword slashed through the air. As the light faded, all that was left behind was the vessel, shaking in fear and pain. Sam's eyes were open, his brain unable to recognize the pain on his face or vocally as half his body was burnt and broken. He just gasped, twitching on the ground and looked up at Michael, not comprehending anything that was happening and instead just looking into the light.
A light that was beckoning him home and wore Dean's face. He feebly lifted his good arm up, reaching for his brother.
Sam. Nonononono you said I could save him, you son of a bitch.
Dean's voice was raging in the back of Michael's mind, and Michael wasn't sure how to soothe him. His -- their -- brother was broken beyond repair, it seemed, and Gabriel had promised him that Sam's life would be spared. Michael intended to keep that promise for him, and he started to move to Sam, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder, reaching for the power in him to give him peace but help him survive, all at the same time. "Relax, Sam. You're safe now."
The voice was soothing and Sam blinked as his gold eyes faded back to the hazel they had not been in years. There was a small smile, then his eyes fluttered closed and his head fell back along Michael's arm. He then got very still, but his chest still rose with shaking breaths as Sam just let himself trust his brother to protect him one more time.
Is he -- will he?
He will live. Have faith, Dean. Michael swept Sam up in his arms, and in a moment, they were in the nearest hospital, and Michael was handing him off to the doctors to do as they could to save his life. Michael didn't leave but gave them their space, waiting for them to give him any news.
The doctors in the ER worked on Sam for hours, working rapidly to repair damaged organs and limbs while working on minimizing the damage. Sam was lucky that the sword had missed his heart and lungs, but his stomach and lower region took the brunt of it. The doctors could trace the injuries having impacted from a strike that had worked upwards, as the damage lessened the further up Sam's body they went. It was the reason Sam was still alive.
After the major surgery was done, one of the doctors went out to talk with the one who had brought Sam in while the nurses put casts over the injuries to let them heal in place. "You got him to us in time. If his shock had gotten worse, we could have lost him."
Dean gave a relieved sigh while Michael just nodded, crossing his arm in front of his chest. "How is he doing?"
"We've sedated him for now. There is a lot of damage to the lower half of his body, especially in his stomach and hip area. His chest, however, was spared, as was his head beyond a few scraps and burns. He probably won't be able to walk again without a limp, and there was a bit of heat damage on his eye that we can't evaluate until he wakes up. We'll move him to ICU and monitor his vitals overnight, but we'll probably keep him under until his body heals a good deal internally." The doctor looked at Michael.
"Now perhaps you could tell me how he came to these injuries."
"A terrible car accident," Michael said simply. It was a lie, but the true answer the doctor probably wouldn't believe. "The lower half of his body was pinned -- we weren't sure if we would be able to get him here in time. Good to know that he should recover, though." There was a bit of an uncertain pause. "He's my brother. May I see him?"
"As long as you have filled out the paperwork at the nurses' station, then yes. Is there anyone else who needs to be called? Our nurse can do it for you? Wife or children perhaps?"
"No, no -- I took care of that while I was waiting. They should be here soon." Michael nodded slowly. "Thank you."
The doctor nodded, and a nurse showed Michael to where Sam was resting. He was unconscious and half of his body was wrapped in protective casting. His hair had been cut short around where the bandages on his face were, and there were machines hooked up to him to monitor his heartbeat and blood pressure. It looked worse than when he had been in the hospital after fighting Lilith, but he was technically in better condition this time. His chest rose and fell in time, strong breaths that didn't need a machine to control.
Jesus, Sammy. Michael made his way closer, moving to sit at the side of the bed next to his brother. Seraphiel had gotten his message, so his nephews would be here soon, now it was only a matter of waiting for the right moment.
**
Ben had kept away in the corner to himself for awhile, avoiding everyone in the room. Alec needed their attention and he would rather them take care of his brother. He knew he couldn't, not when he felt so trapped and just wanted to claw his way out of the room and find out what was going on. As the minutes ticked by he kept getting more and more anxious until finally he got up and started to pace. "Just how long is this going to take?" he finally asked to no one in particular.
Alec was fairing a bit better, but it was only practice. The learned military skill of 'hurry up and wait'. It didn't mean he wasn't drowning in worry. And played board games. He used the simple distraction to avoid a complete freak out.
"Battles like this generally take time," God replied, reaching over to roll the dice and taking her turn, before passing them back to Alec. "I'm sure we'll be hearing something soon, though."
"Sorry, I guess I just don't have experience with battles like this," Ben pointed out, going over to the window to look out at the grassy field. At least it was something... wait, was that a unicorn?
Alec almost felt bad that he was holding his cool, tenuous though it was, better than Ben so he didn't say anything.
She wasn't being sarcastic or impatient about this. But she had given up on trying to win Ben over and just took a breath. And yes, that was a unicorn. God did have a sense of humor. She just continued to pass the dice back and forth with Alec, before she felt the bubble of a message from Michael, and she sat back with a sigh and a small smile. She wasn't going to give the big reveal yet. Not until --
Seraphiel appeared a few minutes later, bright and bubbly, as she should be. She hadn't been that way in a long time and it was the kind of mood that was infectious. Especially when it came with good news. "It's done. Lucifer's been cast back where he belongs."
Ben turned at that. "What about Dad and Sam?"
"They," he almost asked if they were okay, but. . . "Are they going to be okay?"
"They're both alive. Sam is -- unconscious, and has a long road of recovery ahead of him, but he is alive, and your father is with him. I can take you to them, if that's alright?" She was looking at God when she asked that, and She nodded.
"Go ahead, go. Better sooner than later."
Ben looked over at his brother, then nodded. Anything was better than just sitting here. "Yeah, take us there... please."
Alec stood and headed over to Ben, but paused for a second and looked at God. "Thanks." And then he moved to stand next to Ben.
God nodded back at them, and Seraphiel made her way over, placing a hand on both their shoulders and closing her eyes. A second later, they were standing in Sam's hospital room. Sam was on the bed in front of them, while Michael was across the room, looking out the window with his hands clasped behind his back. He turned slightly when he sensed their presences, and gave them both a small smile as he waited for them to speak. He didn't know if Jo or God had told them the truth about what had happened, so he truly didn't know what to expect.
The change in location once again made Ben's stomach turn, but he was glad to be out of that box. As the lights went back to normal, they were able to see Sam on the hospital bed. That wasn't actually a new sight, though the casts were more reminiscent of Alec's condition the last time they had been in the hospital for a long period of time. And the small smile from Dean... didn't feel right. He wanted to run to his father, but something in his blood suddenly didn't want to... that it wasn't right and it added to the queasiness in his stomach. So he kept his distance for a moment and went to Sam's bedside to look his uncle over. "What happened?"
Alec, like Ben was feeling a little motion sick. And it didn't easy when he saw how badly Sam was hurt. Or even when he looked at his father. He was so changed. He blinked, trying to take that it, afraid. But then something shifted, and Alec pulled his glasses off to see better. His father was still there. Very much still there. The knot in his belly began to ease. It was just that he was more now. "Dad." It was a statement of fact and a breath of relief. He rushed across the room and hugged the man.
It took him a second to respond to the hug, the angel a bit startled and not quite sure what to do with the gesture, but he did, balancing a bit of Dean's own instincts and sliding his arms around his son. As he did, he looked over at Ben with a sigh. "I had to use quite a deal of force in order to remove Lucifer from his body, more than his natural body would be able to sustain. He should recover though."
Ben just looked up at Dean, the hairs on the back of his neck starting to stand up more. There was something in the way he was talking that just wasn't... right. Wasn't Dean. Ben didn't reply, just watched him and how he was reacting to Alec, then Ben lowered his shields to reach out and just feel what he could off the person in the room that looked like his father... but wasn't.
Alec heard the difference to. The slightly awkward formalities of the words. The lack of frantic worry over Sam. And Alec wasn't sure he liked it, but he knew this was still there father. And he wasn't ready to let go of that. Even if there was something else there as well now. God had promised. She said it would take a while, but she had promised. This must be part of what she meant and he wasn't letting go. Not yet.
Michael met Ben's eyes across the room, and Dean watched with him. Dean knew that stance in his son, that he was on the defensive, and that worried him. Michael also knew that Ben was trying to get a sense of him, with his abilities, but Michael knew that while he could probably feel the Dean that he knew on the edges, the most he would feel would be the weight of Micheal's life and experience, with a strong sense of faith and calm. "Is there something wrong?" He wouldn't let go of Alec until Alec choose to let go of him, but that didn't hold him back from addressing his other son.
"Where's my father?" Ben could feel the tiny bit of Dean inside Michael, but it was buried so far under the angel holiness that it hurt to even get that far. It felt like... it barely existed. This was wrong. It was wrong and the room was starting to get smaller as Ben unconsciously pushed his back against the wall for support.
Alec turned to look at his brother but didn't pull away from the man who was hugging him. He knew that stance to. And he could see Ben's power flaring and then pulling back like he'd been stung. So he tried to help. "It's still him. It's still dad. Just. . .more too." He bit his lip. "She said it would take time. She promised." He had no way of knowing he sounded like a little boy talking about how mommy had promise a treat.
Michael was amazed at how a simple question could cause so much confusion for Dean. He paused for a moment, watching Ben carefully as his face frowned in concern. "I'm right here, Ben."
I came back. Like I promised.
Ben, however, had pulled his powers back before the Dean inside of Michael flared. All he felt was the angel, and watching Michael he just couldn't see anything of his father in the way he moved or talked. The memories of losing Dean and his mother started to inch into his mind and he shut himself off, shaking his head. "No, you're not. You're not my father. You may look like him, have his memories, but you are not him. Where. Is. My. Father?"
"Ben?" Alec was confused a little himself. "It's him. I can see." He was starting to worry. Just like he knew the defensive stance, he knew the start of panic too.
Dean recoiled like a shot. It was a sudden and snap-to emotional response and Michael wasn't entirely prepared for it. He stumbled backwards slightly, not letting go of Alec completely, but putting a slight amount of distance between them. "I know that I've -- changed. But I'm still your father. If you will allow me to explain -- "
"No, you're not." Ben said it simple and not wanting an explanation, then shifted his eyes to look at Alec. "No, they are screwing with you. You, you're always so willing to trust the angels. Let them be your friends and all they do is take from us." From Me. "Well I'm done with this shit. I'm not going to stay here and pretend that he's my father when there is not a single thing that I can feel inside of him that is my father. Stay if you want, but I'm outta here. I can't do this anymore."
Ben started to inch towards the door, his face showing just how close he was to panicking and a breakdown.
Alec recoiled like he'd been slapped. He hadn't been prepared for Ben's distrust, or to be called on the carpet like that either. Especially when he didn't think it was true. He was always animal shy of new people, but maybe like a house cat he was always willing to trust to. And maybe that was wrong, because it had certainly bit him in the ass. More than once. But. . .he knew his father when he saw him. He knew the soul when he saw it. He pulled away from Dean a bit towards Ben and then stopped. Stuck in the middle. He shouldn't leave his father and he knew it, but he didn't want to watch his brother fall apart and not to try to help either.
But I came back. I don't -- I came back.
Dean wasn't doing much better than Ben was, and that was only allowing Michael to straighten more, more of the angel coming in to play. Dean just pulled away from being a presence in Michael's consciousness. Michael could feel the pain that this was causing him, and he did his best to swallow his temper and not unleash it on his son. He may not be able to see what was in front of him, may not have the patience to process and understand what had happened here, but this was still his son and he would treat him as such. And he would try to -- mediate -- as best he could.
"Please, Ben." Michael said slowly. "I'm still your father. The part of me you knew as your father is still here, you just -- need to give it some time. Stay. I'll explain."
"The part that I knew as my father?" Ben's broken laugh was almost hysterical. "No! She promised it would be fixed. I knew better than to trust Her but I thought maybe... maybe just this once I would and this is what I get? You can never be my father no matter what you think you are able to do, and I want no part of you. Just stay away from me. All of you just leave me alone and stay away from me."
And with that he bolted, not sure how far he would get, or even where the hell he was but he had to get out of that room, far from all of them and just find a place where he could stop and breathe.
Standing back from the chaos, Jo leaned against the wall and watched it all with her arms crossed over her chest. She didn't need some angel or God to tell her that the man standing with them wasn't Dean. The way he stood, the way he talked, and the little mannerisms that were Dean were missing in this guy. Michael the Archangel seemed like the rest of them, trying to be human when he wasn't. She couldn't blame Ben for freaking out. She wanted to do the same thing, but she was a Harvelle and they never lost their cool in a situation.
"Let him go," Jo said, watching Ben bolt from the room. "The angels can find him and they'll keep an eye on him for us."
Moving away from the wall she took a closer look at the angel wearing Dean's skin. Yeah, definitely not her Dean. Her chest felt tight, but she swallowed it down. "We've got to make sure Sam gets better first and then clean up whatever needs cleaning up. Or are you angels going to take care of that for us?"
Alec liked Jo. He really did. But that pissed him off. His eyes, narrowed and his lip curled ever so slightly. 'You angels.' Separating his father from the family even more than Ben's upset and panic already had. Alec had told them that it was Dean. That he could see it. That he knew. It was really great to know that no one fucking trusted him. That was fabulous. He suddenly wanted to tell the whole lot of them to go fuck themselves.
But none of that changed the fact that Ben had just left in a panic. And even if he was angry he still cared. He still loved his brother, so he couldn't leave him out there without trying. Not that he thought leaving his dad right now was all that bright either. And yeah, Alec knew an Archangel when he saw one. Just like he knew his dad when he saw him. And right now they were one in the same. And Alec couldn't help but think the man was upset. He'd said please for God's sake. Since when did angels or Dean Winchester say things like please unless they were damned near begging?
He pulled away from his father a little. "Dad." It was said deliberately. This man was his father. "I'm gonna go see what I can do for Ben. But. . .stay? Please. I'll be back. I promise." That seemed right. Dean had promised to come back so Alec could to. "I want to hear you explain. Just. . .I gotta try with Ben." He hugged the man hard and then started to pull away.
"Go. He's your brother. I will still be here when you return." Michael nodded for him to go, releasing his arm around him, and turning back towards the window again. Dean took the rejection from Jo just as well as he took the one from Ben, and now his presence was a strange mix of anger and regret, and while the regret Michael wasn't sure how to handle, the anger he did. His body steeled slightly under Jo's stare and met her gaze head-on, unflinching. "The garrison is taking care of most of the physical damage. As for Sam, he will be well taken care of here, by the doctors, until he wakes up, and when that time comes She will give him the options of healing his injuries for him or not. Either way he will recover."
"I'm staying with Sam then." Jo faced Michael with the same unflinching stare. Sure Alec had said Dean was in there, but right now she wasn't talking to Dean, this was Michael. She'd deal with Michael the same way she dealt with any angel. Maybe when he started acting more like Dean, she'd treat him the same way. She pointed a finger at him. "Your friends better take care of those boys out there or else I'll kick your ass."
Michael's first reaction was to tell her that he wasn't completely incompetent, but Dean stopped him. Yanked him back, and softened him just slightly. Michael may not care about her idle threats or how she felt about Michael, but Dean did. Instead, he moved his attention from her to Seraphiel. "Seraphiel, if you don't mind -- "
"I'll keep an eye on him, out of sight," she nodded, before disappearing quietly from view.
Michael nodded once she was gone, before turning his attention back to Jo. "Treating me like the enemy isn't exactly conducive to solving the problem, Jo."
"I'd shoot you if I was treating you like an enemy," she said. "I'm not going to treat you like a friend, because I don't know you. You look like him but...."
She looked away for a second, heart twisting a bit before looking back at Michael. "But you're not him, not yet."
Michael looked down at that, swallowing slightly. He knew that repeating himself and saying that he was him would only make things worse. "I am trying." Which he was. But Ben wasn't giving him the chance, and it was only making connecting with that part of Dean worse. "I have not had the adequate amount of time to fully adjust to the situation. Lucifer needed to be dealt with, so Dean allowed me to take a majority of the control for the time being. We are -- working on finding a -- balance, of some kind." He paused again, before looking up at her. "Did someone explain the situation to them?"
Jo nodded. "We all got the speech about what was happening. The greater good and all that. It doesn't make it easier when you lose someone you care about. Or have him change in a heartbeat."
"I know," he said softly, before turning his attention back to the window again. Dean still wasn't taking the situation well. He could sense the argument that his sons were having, and the pain that Ben was feeling, and it not only hurt him that he couldn't do anything about it, but that the answer Ben was seeking was right in front of him, and Ben couldn't see it. Michael had thousands of years of being an angel, but that nearly half a century of humanity and emotion seemed to weigh out every other instinct he had. "I just wish he had given me some time to explain."
"Ben's angry, even if he had stuck around, it wouldn't get through. Give him some time, get more... Dean-like and he'll come around." Jo was pretty sure that was how it worked. Ben seemed to be a lot like Dean that way.
No, he won't. This doesn't change. He won't trust me.
Michael could feel and understand Dean's pain, and he wanted to try and balance it, but there was nothing he could find that would work. Dean just kept pulling further and further back. More to the point, Michael needed a different subject, a topic he had the chance of handling slightly more amicably, even though there was a fair chance it probably wouldn't. Nothing else seemed to be going that. "He misses you."
She sighed. "I miss him too." She'd give anything to talk to Dean again, have her boyfriend back. She didn't think that was happening anytime soon. So, she just had to deal with what was going on now. "Are you going to stay with the angels or here?"
"I do not know." Michael said softly, turning back to face her again, but looking past her to the bed where Sam was. "I haven't been home in a long time. And while Sam is still my brother and always will be, they are my brothers as well. And there are some of them that -- need attending to." As in they needed to be punished for their crimes against God and the people they were created to guide. Michael knew that Hell wasn't alone in the releasing of Lucifer, and Gabriel informed him that there were still angels in Heaven that needed to be dealt with.
"Well... I'll be staying with Sam for awhile," Jo said, watching him. "If you need a place to stay, the Roadhouse is locked up but you can probably get past that now. You can stay there."
"Thank you," he said with a nod. There was another pause. "I'm sorry. For not -- being more prepared."
"Judging from the other angels we've met, none of you are prepared for dealing with people. You'll get the hang of it the longer you hang around with Dean." She moved away from him and sat down in the chair next to Sam's bedside. There were a lot of people she'd have to call soon who wanted to know that Sam was okay. It was going to eat up her cell phone minutes like crazy.
"Most of my dealing with people before I fell was limited to the -- not so good parts." He paused again. "I was never meant for conversation. That was usually Gabriel's area."
"Yeah, Gabriel's not that much better. Things are different down here, especially for us humans. You should listen to Dean more." Jo paused for a second, considering that. "Only on some things though. He's not always great with people."
That got her a slight chuckle. "Better with women, than men, though he never could manage to say the right thing with you." He paused again, before turning his eyes back towards the parking lot. "Then again, he probably would have done better with men if he hadn't spent his time trying to cheat them out of their money or sleeping with their women."
Jo snorted, wondering if Michael was aware of how his comment sounded. "Oh, I'm sure if Dean went to the right places, he'd do fine with men."
At that, the angel frowned, turning around to face her with a confused look. "I am not sure I understand what you mean." Dean did. Dean was balking, to be quite honest, but he wasn't about to explain either.
"If you did, I'd be worried about you." Jo offered Michael a small smile. "Just grab a seat, time for us to hurry up and wait."
"I'd rather stand," he said with a nod. "But thank you."
"Suit yourself, angel boy." She shrugged. "If I make some calls, your angel powers won't interfere, right?"
He shook his head. "I don't think so."
"Alright, here goes nothing." Jo dug her phone out of her pocket and dialed Ruby's number. She would definitely want to know that Sam was back.
Ruby was curled up on one of the cots in the panic room, Jinx pressed to her side when her phone started to ring. She didn't think that she would be able to get reception down here, but apparently she was wrong. Taking a deep breath, she placed the phone to her ear and answered. "Hello?"
"Ruby, it's Jo. Sam's back. We're at the hospital, but he's going to be fine." Jo glanced at Sam and then the machines monitoring him. "Do you need someone to come get you or can you drive?"
There were a few slow breaths that were, in their own attempt, probably meant to be relaxing but not really working. She wasn't sure what to say in response to Jo's question. "Is he awake?" Because if he was, there was a distinct possibility that the last person he wanted to see would be her.
"No, not yet." Jo was a little concerned. She had expected a little more from Ruby, maybe it was just shock? It was one of those days, though. Just glancing at Michael reminded her of that. "Are you okay, Ruby?"
"Okay is a relative term." Arguably, Ruby hadn't been okay since the angels, in all their infinite wisdom, decided to make her human again. It was a pretty bullshit move on their part, but that was her own thing to deal with. Right now, though, she had to deal with all the pesky emotions that came with it, and right now? Her emotions when it came to Sam were a big mix of anger, resentment, guilt and fear along with a ton of relief. She was glad he was alive. She really was. But she wasn't sure if she could be comforted by that until she knew what he remembered. The sight of Sam -- who she knew logically wasn't Sam and was just Lucifer wearing him -- with Amy draped around him was all too fresh in her head, and she really wasn't sure how she felt about the whole Sam situation until he woke up and she knew what he remembered. "I don't have a car. At least, not at the moment, and I don't know if Bobby is up for much driving. But I'll see if I can work something out."
"Yeah, I know." Again Jo looked at Michael and sighed a little. She had thought Dean being gone was hard but Dean being here and acting like Michael? Turns out that was harder. Focus on the problem at hand, Jo thought to herself. "Call me if you can't find a ride. I'll make sure you get here."
"I will," Ruby nodded, but she was relatively certain that that was a lie. "So -- how's everyone else? The boys okay?"
"Not really. Something happened to Dean and they're taking it really badly," Jo said, not sure if Ruby knew what had happened to Dean or not. Hunter caution made her keep it to herself. "He's not hurt or anything, but it's a change."
Jo didn't have to say it for Ruby to know what she meant. Alloces had called it after all. That wasn't going to end well. "What about Ben and Alec?"
"Ben stormed out and Alec went after him." Jo lowered her voice a little, though it probably wouldn't make a difference. Michael would probably hear her anyway. "I think they're pretty hurt and angry about things."
"Yeah, well -- that's what happens when angels get involved. People get hurt."
"They aren't all bad." Michael had been nice so far. A little weird, but all the angels were weird. Jo kind of liked some of them. Castiel wasn't bad most of the time and she was probably going to end up liking Michael if he hung around long enough. She wanted to make some snappy comment about demons, but she kept it to herself.
"Sorry, I might have a bit of a bias, given they changed my species without my consent and all."
"You know, I'd be grateful if I were you, but I didn't call you to lecture you or argue with you. Sam's here if you want to come see him and guess what, he's human too." She hung up, closing her phone with a hard snap. She didn't want to deal with Ruby's shit right now. Taking a deep breath, she worked to keep her composure. If Dean was here, everything would be fine, but right now she was the best they had.
------------
Alec gave his father one last look and zipped out of the room hoping to find Ben before he really had a chance to try and disappear, The was only one reasonable path out and Alec was grateful to have caught him before he'd taken either the stairs or the elevator down. "Ben?"
Ben turned his head to look at Alec, then scowled and kept walking. "I'm done, Alec. Don't try and stop me."
Alec followed, but without pushing Ben's personal bubble to close. "Are you going to come back?" He was worried and pissed. But worry was definitely winning right now.
"Why? Why should I bother? All I even get from being here is hurt and I'm sick and tired of it. I never should have left Indiana."
"Isn't any of the good in between worth it?" Because it was for Alec. But maybe he was wrong about that. He had to admit to himself that his idea of tolerable conditions were much more lax than any sane persons.
"Good between what? Losing family members over and over again and being told 'buck up, kid... it's for the greater good. You'll understand some day.'?" Ben spun to glare at Alec. "Nothing is worth living through that pain again. Third strike, and I'm so outta here. I REFUSE to go through this again and I don't care what anyone says."
"So what are you going to do instead? Pretend we aren't here? That we won’t miss you or won’t care?"
"Do I look like I care? Did you SEE Sam and what that... that thing did to him? And you still believe that that's Dad?" Ben's eyes narrowed. "You may think you see him inside, but I don't feel him. I don't like what I feel. You'd be better off leaving too and going back to your other family. At least they won't rip you apart from the inside."
"I saw Sam. And that thing is you father. Just like he's mine. And yeah, he's off right now, but it's still him. And I see that Sam is alive. I see that Sam will get better. I see that Sam isn't being ridden by the devil himself. So, you know, I'll cut a little slack. And yes I damned well do see Dad. And I'm sorry that you can't feel him right now, but that doesn't mean he isn't there. Did you hear him! Why wouldn't you even give him a chance? She promised it would be okay. But She said it would take time. This isn't time." His fingers flexed as he tried to not yell. "And you think my other family is so much easier. That no hurt comes from that quarter? I've already had a brother and sister murdered so it's not like that's all roses you know?"
"Well, I've had both my parents die in my arms and I'm not going to stick around and wait to see if and when he might come back. And you know what, how dare you even start this with me. When Dad died and I was left holding him, you left me there. Didn't even give me warning, hell I hadn't even been conscious for a minute and you abandoned me for weeks. So don't give me a holier than thou art attitude just because you're palling around with the angel squad now."
That made Alec look away. "I freaked out and fucked up and I'm sorry. There's nothing else I can offer to make that right. And I get that. But that doesn't mean that you aren't about to leave here with the wrong idea. You're acting like Dad's been fucking murdered. He hasn't. He's there. He's right fucking there. And how am I palling around with the angels? What just because I decide to try and make the best of the situation. I wanted to be friends with the guy that was going to be sticking closer than my own damned shadow no matter what I wanted? I didn't realize that was a fucking crime. But just because Gabriel seemed to not really give a fuck about me aside from duty doesn't mean I'm going to walk out on Dad!"
"He is NEVER going to be Dean Winchester again!" Ben shouted, his finger stabbing back towards the direction of Sam's room. "And I'm not going to sit around and smile and pretend that everything is going to be ok because it isn't. Maybe you're happy acting like it but I won't. They may have well just murdered him because right now he is dead to me and there's nothing that can change my mind. I don't trust angels."
Alec nearly growled. "He still is Dean Winchester. He's that and then some. He's still our father. He's still the man that was willing to die to save you." He jabbed a finger in Ben's direction. His anger was starting to override the worry and he knew that was bad, but it was, never the less. And instead of getting louder he was getting quieter and more clipped. "What makes angels so much worse than demons or humans, huh? What, Dad's changed so he doesn't deserve your love anymore?"
"I will always love my father. And if you want this... that angel in there to be him, fine you go right ahead. I don't want any part of this anymore." Ben's voice dropped too, dangerously low. "Now I'm done here, Alec, and I don't want you following me or you won't like what comes out of me next." Ben just wanted to get as far from the hospital as he could, and if Alec kept trying, he'd feel Ben start to summon up some powers Ben hadn't touched in a long time, but he was so angry now that they flowed easily.
Threatening Alec was never a good way to get him to back off. His handlers back in Manticore knew that. The other transgenics knew it. But Ben apparently didn't. Most of the time he managed to keep a wrap on that more feral instinct, but he was already angry and emotional and coiled for a fight that wasn't going to come. The cat in his DNA was an alpha and didn't like backing down. Couldn't back down without a challenge. His chin came up in that arrogant Winchester way that was most often seen on Sam when it was seen at all. "What are you going to do, huh?" In the back of his mind he knew this was a bad idea but he was finally too pissed to care.
"Back off, Alec. Just go back upstairs and leave me alone." Ben turned his back on his brother and started for the stairs. It would be a faster way out.
Alec growled. Actually growled. "So what, you're done with me too? Thanks for the memories, so the brother thing didn't work out?" He'd never wanted to punch Ben before, but he did now. This hurt. And while things hurt all the time, often it just happened. But Ben was doing this.
"Now you know how I felt." He pushed opened the door for the stairs and started down.
Alec watched him go, unable to force himself to follow. He deserved that he knew. He'd fucked up badly before when their dad had ended up in Hell. The consequences were just delayed that’s all. Nothing was ever free and no mistake ever went unpunished. That was how his life worked.
He stood, frozen for a long time and then took a deep breath and silently went back to Sam's room. He had an apology to make.
Michael wasn't sure exactly what had happened regarding Alec and Ben's conversation, but from the emotions Dean had picked up, he could tell that it hadn't been a good one. When he felt his son's presence outside of Sam's room, he just waited quietly for Alec to come back. When his son appeared in the doorway, he turned from the window to face him, showing an emotion that he hoped was concern. "Are you alright?"
He did a pretty good job of it. It was stiff, but genuine. He got that sort of thing from some of the transgenics to. He took it in the spirit that it was intended even if it was stiff. "That. . .depends entirely on how you mean it. Am I standing? Yes. Did I get Ben to calm down? No, I pretty much made that worse. I'm pretty much a fuck up, but hey getting used to that." He bit his lip and looked down. "Sorry."
"It's not your fault," Michael said slowly. He paused for a moment knowing that there was some kind of physical contact that was supposed to go with a gesture like this, but he wasn't sure as to what, and decided that a simple hand on his shoulder was best. "This -- none of this is easy to swallow."
And suddenly he was angry again, though not at his father. "Yeah, well, it's might slide down a little better if people trusted me to know what I'm talking about on occasion. I mean, I realize I fuck up pretty often, as Ben pointed out, but I'm not hallucinating." He didn't move away from the hand on his shoulder though. It wasn't quite right, but it sure as shit wasn't wrong either.
"Some people need to come into things in their own time. He doesn't -- see things as clearly as you can." He was quiet again, before deciding that a change of subject might help. "I can explain now. If you'd like."
Alec rubbed a hand over his face and looked up at the man. "Yeah. I mean, all I've figured out is the real basic facts of 'dad's an archangel.' I have to admit that doesn't explain much."
"Michael," he clarified, thinking that specifics might help. "I'm Michael." There was a pause for a moment. "You might want to sit down. It's a rather -- long -- story."
Alec did sit in one of the available chairs. Well he perched on the back with his feet in the feet, a little to keyed up to settle. "So what am I supposed to call you. Dean, Michael or Dad?"
"Whichever you're most comfortable with," Michael said slowly. "I am, technically, all three."
"Only technically?" But he was teasing. It was lame but there.
That got him a slight smirk. "I'm still your father, even if I don't act like it at the moment. I still -- haven't had the chance to find balance yet. There wasn't really any time."
Aec grinned. The smirk, even tempered was less stiff, than Michael all on his own seemed to be. "Hey, using contractions is a good first step."
Michael relaxed a bit more at the grin on his son's face. He gave no outward response to the joke otherwise, but the relaxing was a good thing. "There are some of them I still will not use."
Alec liked relaxing. That meant they were actually on the same wavelength. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. "Why not, and then maybe we should back up to the beginning of the story."
He shrugged. "It just doesn't feel -- right. When I speak." He paused for a minute, before swallowing. "And this is -- quite a long story."
Alec spread his hands. "For once I'm pretty sure we have time."
He nodded slightly, before crossing his arms in front of his chest. "In 1973, Mary Campbell made a deal with a demon named Azazel. The life of the man she was seeing at the time in exchange for permission. Azazel wasn't clear as to what the permission was for, but Mary was from a long line of hunters, and she knew that it couldn't have been something good."
He could only assume that the man in question was John. He nodded to show that he was listening.
"Mary started to pray for guidance, unsure of how to handle the situation, and her prayers were heard. In order to help protect her family, the Lord asked Her most loyal angel to cut out his grace and fall to earth as a human, in order to protect her future son, Samuel."
"So as Dean, you had no memory of being Michael until now." He thought about all of this. "So. . .how much of this was all planned? She seemed pretty reluctant to tap you, but at the same time. . . "
"Gabriel held onto my grace until such a time as I was needed, but -- they hadn't expected it to take this long. They hadn't expected for there to be children in the picture. I'm sure that if necessary, She would have much preferred for me to live out my life as Dean Winchester, and my angelic nature never being called into question."
"So Ben and I were just. . .accidents?"
Michael closed his eyes. "If things had gone as intended and I had died when I was supposed to, Lucifer would have been a much larger concern a lot sooner. I would have been tapped earlier, and -- we most likely, never would have met."
"It would have been easier." He bit his lip. "But I wouldn't trade this. Even with everything that's happened. I wouldn't trade it."
If Dean could breathe, he would have been letting out a slow one. "Part of me is very relieved to hear that, though another part is still sorry that it had to come to this. That you have to -- adjust."
Alec raised an eyebrow. "The Dean part?" He sighed. "Look I'm not saying this is fun. Or easy. But I can't imagine you're having a picnic either. She said we'd be okay. And I believe Her. But She also said it would take time. So. . .it'll take time."
"I appreciate that, Alec. I truly do."
"You're my dad." He shrugged. He felt it was a given.
Michael nodded slightly, before swallowing and looking up at him again. "I may -- have to go away for a little while."
"What? Why?" He was clearly startled, and not pleased.
"I -- haven't been home in some time. I want to take some time to process, and adjust -- become more of the person you're expecting. I know this is a hard time to do it, but -- I need the inner peace, and I miss my brothers. I will be back, though."
Alec wanted to start bawling. He didn't want to be alone and without his father there really was no one left. Sam was a mess, and an unconscious one at that. He would take up Ruby's attention. And he should. Ben had left them all to rot, Amy. . .he couldn't even think about her right now. He didn't want Gabriel anywhere near him. He didn't even have Jinx and he barely even knew Jo.
But his father was an archangel. He wasn't just Alec's any more. Or even just the family's. He had bigger things to worry about, and he'd been away from home for fifty years. That had to hurt. Alec knew how much it hurt to be away from family. He was learning it all over again right this moment. And the world did not revolve around what Alec Winchester wanted.
So he nodded. "Okay." He bit his lip hard take keep himself under control. "You promise you'll come back?"
"I promise," he nodded. "Probably sooner than you expect."
"I don't really have an expectation? This is a little new." He had his shit together for the moment. He was proud of himself.
He nodded. "Then I'll try not to be long."
Alec nodded again and swallowed. Asking him to stay wouldn't help. It would only make the man feel guilty, so Alec didn't. "Okay. I'll be here when you get back."
"Okay," Michael nodded, before reaching forward and giving his shoulder a slight squeeze. "Is there anything you need before I -- ?"
Alec hugged him and didn't dare open his mouth.
Michael paused, before sliding his arms around him again, holding him as long as he seemed to need it.
After a few minutes Alec pried himself away. "Sorry."
"Don't be," Michael said with a nod, before stepping back. "Don't hesitate to call if you need anything."
Alec nodded. "Okay." Because what else could he say.
Michael nodded again, before disappearing out of view, leaving Alec alone with his uncle.
Alec crumpled back into the chair, hands fisting in his hair, elbows on knees and he stared at the floor without seeing it for a long time.
A light that was beckoning him home and wore Dean's face. He feebly lifted his good arm up, reaching for his brother.
Sam. Nonononono you said I could save him, you son of a bitch.
Dean's voice was raging in the back of Michael's mind, and Michael wasn't sure how to soothe him. His -- their -- brother was broken beyond repair, it seemed, and Gabriel had promised him that Sam's life would be spared. Michael intended to keep that promise for him, and he started to move to Sam, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder, reaching for the power in him to give him peace but help him survive, all at the same time. "Relax, Sam. You're safe now."
The voice was soothing and Sam blinked as his gold eyes faded back to the hazel they had not been in years. There was a small smile, then his eyes fluttered closed and his head fell back along Michael's arm. He then got very still, but his chest still rose with shaking breaths as Sam just let himself trust his brother to protect him one more time.
Is he -- will he?
He will live. Have faith, Dean. Michael swept Sam up in his arms, and in a moment, they were in the nearest hospital, and Michael was handing him off to the doctors to do as they could to save his life. Michael didn't leave but gave them their space, waiting for them to give him any news.
The doctors in the ER worked on Sam for hours, working rapidly to repair damaged organs and limbs while working on minimizing the damage. Sam was lucky that the sword had missed his heart and lungs, but his stomach and lower region took the brunt of it. The doctors could trace the injuries having impacted from a strike that had worked upwards, as the damage lessened the further up Sam's body they went. It was the reason Sam was still alive.
After the major surgery was done, one of the doctors went out to talk with the one who had brought Sam in while the nurses put casts over the injuries to let them heal in place. "You got him to us in time. If his shock had gotten worse, we could have lost him."
Dean gave a relieved sigh while Michael just nodded, crossing his arm in front of his chest. "How is he doing?"
"We've sedated him for now. There is a lot of damage to the lower half of his body, especially in his stomach and hip area. His chest, however, was spared, as was his head beyond a few scraps and burns. He probably won't be able to walk again without a limp, and there was a bit of heat damage on his eye that we can't evaluate until he wakes up. We'll move him to ICU and monitor his vitals overnight, but we'll probably keep him under until his body heals a good deal internally." The doctor looked at Michael.
"Now perhaps you could tell me how he came to these injuries."
"A terrible car accident," Michael said simply. It was a lie, but the true answer the doctor probably wouldn't believe. "The lower half of his body was pinned -- we weren't sure if we would be able to get him here in time. Good to know that he should recover, though." There was a bit of an uncertain pause. "He's my brother. May I see him?"
"As long as you have filled out the paperwork at the nurses' station, then yes. Is there anyone else who needs to be called? Our nurse can do it for you? Wife or children perhaps?"
"No, no -- I took care of that while I was waiting. They should be here soon." Michael nodded slowly. "Thank you."
The doctor nodded, and a nurse showed Michael to where Sam was resting. He was unconscious and half of his body was wrapped in protective casting. His hair had been cut short around where the bandages on his face were, and there were machines hooked up to him to monitor his heartbeat and blood pressure. It looked worse than when he had been in the hospital after fighting Lilith, but he was technically in better condition this time. His chest rose and fell in time, strong breaths that didn't need a machine to control.
Jesus, Sammy. Michael made his way closer, moving to sit at the side of the bed next to his brother. Seraphiel had gotten his message, so his nephews would be here soon, now it was only a matter of waiting for the right moment.
**
Ben had kept away in the corner to himself for awhile, avoiding everyone in the room. Alec needed their attention and he would rather them take care of his brother. He knew he couldn't, not when he felt so trapped and just wanted to claw his way out of the room and find out what was going on. As the minutes ticked by he kept getting more and more anxious until finally he got up and started to pace. "Just how long is this going to take?" he finally asked to no one in particular.
Alec was fairing a bit better, but it was only practice. The learned military skill of 'hurry up and wait'. It didn't mean he wasn't drowning in worry. And played board games. He used the simple distraction to avoid a complete freak out.
"Battles like this generally take time," God replied, reaching over to roll the dice and taking her turn, before passing them back to Alec. "I'm sure we'll be hearing something soon, though."
"Sorry, I guess I just don't have experience with battles like this," Ben pointed out, going over to the window to look out at the grassy field. At least it was something... wait, was that a unicorn?
Alec almost felt bad that he was holding his cool, tenuous though it was, better than Ben so he didn't say anything.
She wasn't being sarcastic or impatient about this. But she had given up on trying to win Ben over and just took a breath. And yes, that was a unicorn. God did have a sense of humor. She just continued to pass the dice back and forth with Alec, before she felt the bubble of a message from Michael, and she sat back with a sigh and a small smile. She wasn't going to give the big reveal yet. Not until --
Seraphiel appeared a few minutes later, bright and bubbly, as she should be. She hadn't been that way in a long time and it was the kind of mood that was infectious. Especially when it came with good news. "It's done. Lucifer's been cast back where he belongs."
Ben turned at that. "What about Dad and Sam?"
"They," he almost asked if they were okay, but. . . "Are they going to be okay?"
"They're both alive. Sam is -- unconscious, and has a long road of recovery ahead of him, but he is alive, and your father is with him. I can take you to them, if that's alright?" She was looking at God when she asked that, and She nodded.
"Go ahead, go. Better sooner than later."
Ben looked over at his brother, then nodded. Anything was better than just sitting here. "Yeah, take us there... please."
Alec stood and headed over to Ben, but paused for a second and looked at God. "Thanks." And then he moved to stand next to Ben.
God nodded back at them, and Seraphiel made her way over, placing a hand on both their shoulders and closing her eyes. A second later, they were standing in Sam's hospital room. Sam was on the bed in front of them, while Michael was across the room, looking out the window with his hands clasped behind his back. He turned slightly when he sensed their presences, and gave them both a small smile as he waited for them to speak. He didn't know if Jo or God had told them the truth about what had happened, so he truly didn't know what to expect.
The change in location once again made Ben's stomach turn, but he was glad to be out of that box. As the lights went back to normal, they were able to see Sam on the hospital bed. That wasn't actually a new sight, though the casts were more reminiscent of Alec's condition the last time they had been in the hospital for a long period of time. And the small smile from Dean... didn't feel right. He wanted to run to his father, but something in his blood suddenly didn't want to... that it wasn't right and it added to the queasiness in his stomach. So he kept his distance for a moment and went to Sam's bedside to look his uncle over. "What happened?"
Alec, like Ben was feeling a little motion sick. And it didn't easy when he saw how badly Sam was hurt. Or even when he looked at his father. He was so changed. He blinked, trying to take that it, afraid. But then something shifted, and Alec pulled his glasses off to see better. His father was still there. Very much still there. The knot in his belly began to ease. It was just that he was more now. "Dad." It was a statement of fact and a breath of relief. He rushed across the room and hugged the man.
It took him a second to respond to the hug, the angel a bit startled and not quite sure what to do with the gesture, but he did, balancing a bit of Dean's own instincts and sliding his arms around his son. As he did, he looked over at Ben with a sigh. "I had to use quite a deal of force in order to remove Lucifer from his body, more than his natural body would be able to sustain. He should recover though."
Ben just looked up at Dean, the hairs on the back of his neck starting to stand up more. There was something in the way he was talking that just wasn't... right. Wasn't Dean. Ben didn't reply, just watched him and how he was reacting to Alec, then Ben lowered his shields to reach out and just feel what he could off the person in the room that looked like his father... but wasn't.
Alec heard the difference to. The slightly awkward formalities of the words. The lack of frantic worry over Sam. And Alec wasn't sure he liked it, but he knew this was still there father. And he wasn't ready to let go of that. Even if there was something else there as well now. God had promised. She said it would take a while, but she had promised. This must be part of what she meant and he wasn't letting go. Not yet.
Michael met Ben's eyes across the room, and Dean watched with him. Dean knew that stance in his son, that he was on the defensive, and that worried him. Michael also knew that Ben was trying to get a sense of him, with his abilities, but Michael knew that while he could probably feel the Dean that he knew on the edges, the most he would feel would be the weight of Micheal's life and experience, with a strong sense of faith and calm. "Is there something wrong?" He wouldn't let go of Alec until Alec choose to let go of him, but that didn't hold him back from addressing his other son.
"Where's my father?" Ben could feel the tiny bit of Dean inside Michael, but it was buried so far under the angel holiness that it hurt to even get that far. It felt like... it barely existed. This was wrong. It was wrong and the room was starting to get smaller as Ben unconsciously pushed his back against the wall for support.
Alec turned to look at his brother but didn't pull away from the man who was hugging him. He knew that stance to. And he could see Ben's power flaring and then pulling back like he'd been stung. So he tried to help. "It's still him. It's still dad. Just. . .more too." He bit his lip. "She said it would take time. She promised." He had no way of knowing he sounded like a little boy talking about how mommy had promise a treat.
Michael was amazed at how a simple question could cause so much confusion for Dean. He paused for a moment, watching Ben carefully as his face frowned in concern. "I'm right here, Ben."
I came back. Like I promised.
Ben, however, had pulled his powers back before the Dean inside of Michael flared. All he felt was the angel, and watching Michael he just couldn't see anything of his father in the way he moved or talked. The memories of losing Dean and his mother started to inch into his mind and he shut himself off, shaking his head. "No, you're not. You're not my father. You may look like him, have his memories, but you are not him. Where. Is. My. Father?"
"Ben?" Alec was confused a little himself. "It's him. I can see." He was starting to worry. Just like he knew the defensive stance, he knew the start of panic too.
Dean recoiled like a shot. It was a sudden and snap-to emotional response and Michael wasn't entirely prepared for it. He stumbled backwards slightly, not letting go of Alec completely, but putting a slight amount of distance between them. "I know that I've -- changed. But I'm still your father. If you will allow me to explain -- "
"No, you're not." Ben said it simple and not wanting an explanation, then shifted his eyes to look at Alec. "No, they are screwing with you. You, you're always so willing to trust the angels. Let them be your friends and all they do is take from us." From Me. "Well I'm done with this shit. I'm not going to stay here and pretend that he's my father when there is not a single thing that I can feel inside of him that is my father. Stay if you want, but I'm outta here. I can't do this anymore."
Ben started to inch towards the door, his face showing just how close he was to panicking and a breakdown.
Alec recoiled like he'd been slapped. He hadn't been prepared for Ben's distrust, or to be called on the carpet like that either. Especially when he didn't think it was true. He was always animal shy of new people, but maybe like a house cat he was always willing to trust to. And maybe that was wrong, because it had certainly bit him in the ass. More than once. But. . .he knew his father when he saw him. He knew the soul when he saw it. He pulled away from Dean a bit towards Ben and then stopped. Stuck in the middle. He shouldn't leave his father and he knew it, but he didn't want to watch his brother fall apart and not to try to help either.
But I came back. I don't -- I came back.
Dean wasn't doing much better than Ben was, and that was only allowing Michael to straighten more, more of the angel coming in to play. Dean just pulled away from being a presence in Michael's consciousness. Michael could feel the pain that this was causing him, and he did his best to swallow his temper and not unleash it on his son. He may not be able to see what was in front of him, may not have the patience to process and understand what had happened here, but this was still his son and he would treat him as such. And he would try to -- mediate -- as best he could.
"Please, Ben." Michael said slowly. "I'm still your father. The part of me you knew as your father is still here, you just -- need to give it some time. Stay. I'll explain."
"The part that I knew as my father?" Ben's broken laugh was almost hysterical. "No! She promised it would be fixed. I knew better than to trust Her but I thought maybe... maybe just this once I would and this is what I get? You can never be my father no matter what you think you are able to do, and I want no part of you. Just stay away from me. All of you just leave me alone and stay away from me."
And with that he bolted, not sure how far he would get, or even where the hell he was but he had to get out of that room, far from all of them and just find a place where he could stop and breathe.
Standing back from the chaos, Jo leaned against the wall and watched it all with her arms crossed over her chest. She didn't need some angel or God to tell her that the man standing with them wasn't Dean. The way he stood, the way he talked, and the little mannerisms that were Dean were missing in this guy. Michael the Archangel seemed like the rest of them, trying to be human when he wasn't. She couldn't blame Ben for freaking out. She wanted to do the same thing, but she was a Harvelle and they never lost their cool in a situation.
"Let him go," Jo said, watching Ben bolt from the room. "The angels can find him and they'll keep an eye on him for us."
Moving away from the wall she took a closer look at the angel wearing Dean's skin. Yeah, definitely not her Dean. Her chest felt tight, but she swallowed it down. "We've got to make sure Sam gets better first and then clean up whatever needs cleaning up. Or are you angels going to take care of that for us?"
Alec liked Jo. He really did. But that pissed him off. His eyes, narrowed and his lip curled ever so slightly. 'You angels.' Separating his father from the family even more than Ben's upset and panic already had. Alec had told them that it was Dean. That he could see it. That he knew. It was really great to know that no one fucking trusted him. That was fabulous. He suddenly wanted to tell the whole lot of them to go fuck themselves.
But none of that changed the fact that Ben had just left in a panic. And even if he was angry he still cared. He still loved his brother, so he couldn't leave him out there without trying. Not that he thought leaving his dad right now was all that bright either. And yeah, Alec knew an Archangel when he saw one. Just like he knew his dad when he saw him. And right now they were one in the same. And Alec couldn't help but think the man was upset. He'd said please for God's sake. Since when did angels or Dean Winchester say things like please unless they were damned near begging?
He pulled away from his father a little. "Dad." It was said deliberately. This man was his father. "I'm gonna go see what I can do for Ben. But. . .stay? Please. I'll be back. I promise." That seemed right. Dean had promised to come back so Alec could to. "I want to hear you explain. Just. . .I gotta try with Ben." He hugged the man hard and then started to pull away.
"Go. He's your brother. I will still be here when you return." Michael nodded for him to go, releasing his arm around him, and turning back towards the window again. Dean took the rejection from Jo just as well as he took the one from Ben, and now his presence was a strange mix of anger and regret, and while the regret Michael wasn't sure how to handle, the anger he did. His body steeled slightly under Jo's stare and met her gaze head-on, unflinching. "The garrison is taking care of most of the physical damage. As for Sam, he will be well taken care of here, by the doctors, until he wakes up, and when that time comes She will give him the options of healing his injuries for him or not. Either way he will recover."
"I'm staying with Sam then." Jo faced Michael with the same unflinching stare. Sure Alec had said Dean was in there, but right now she wasn't talking to Dean, this was Michael. She'd deal with Michael the same way she dealt with any angel. Maybe when he started acting more like Dean, she'd treat him the same way. She pointed a finger at him. "Your friends better take care of those boys out there or else I'll kick your ass."
Michael's first reaction was to tell her that he wasn't completely incompetent, but Dean stopped him. Yanked him back, and softened him just slightly. Michael may not care about her idle threats or how she felt about Michael, but Dean did. Instead, he moved his attention from her to Seraphiel. "Seraphiel, if you don't mind -- "
"I'll keep an eye on him, out of sight," she nodded, before disappearing quietly from view.
Michael nodded once she was gone, before turning his attention back to Jo. "Treating me like the enemy isn't exactly conducive to solving the problem, Jo."
"I'd shoot you if I was treating you like an enemy," she said. "I'm not going to treat you like a friend, because I don't know you. You look like him but...."
She looked away for a second, heart twisting a bit before looking back at Michael. "But you're not him, not yet."
Michael looked down at that, swallowing slightly. He knew that repeating himself and saying that he was him would only make things worse. "I am trying." Which he was. But Ben wasn't giving him the chance, and it was only making connecting with that part of Dean worse. "I have not had the adequate amount of time to fully adjust to the situation. Lucifer needed to be dealt with, so Dean allowed me to take a majority of the control for the time being. We are -- working on finding a -- balance, of some kind." He paused again, before looking up at her. "Did someone explain the situation to them?"
Jo nodded. "We all got the speech about what was happening. The greater good and all that. It doesn't make it easier when you lose someone you care about. Or have him change in a heartbeat."
"I know," he said softly, before turning his attention back to the window again. Dean still wasn't taking the situation well. He could sense the argument that his sons were having, and the pain that Ben was feeling, and it not only hurt him that he couldn't do anything about it, but that the answer Ben was seeking was right in front of him, and Ben couldn't see it. Michael had thousands of years of being an angel, but that nearly half a century of humanity and emotion seemed to weigh out every other instinct he had. "I just wish he had given me some time to explain."
"Ben's angry, even if he had stuck around, it wouldn't get through. Give him some time, get more... Dean-like and he'll come around." Jo was pretty sure that was how it worked. Ben seemed to be a lot like Dean that way.
No, he won't. This doesn't change. He won't trust me.
Michael could feel and understand Dean's pain, and he wanted to try and balance it, but there was nothing he could find that would work. Dean just kept pulling further and further back. More to the point, Michael needed a different subject, a topic he had the chance of handling slightly more amicably, even though there was a fair chance it probably wouldn't. Nothing else seemed to be going that. "He misses you."
She sighed. "I miss him too." She'd give anything to talk to Dean again, have her boyfriend back. She didn't think that was happening anytime soon. So, she just had to deal with what was going on now. "Are you going to stay with the angels or here?"
"I do not know." Michael said softly, turning back to face her again, but looking past her to the bed where Sam was. "I haven't been home in a long time. And while Sam is still my brother and always will be, they are my brothers as well. And there are some of them that -- need attending to." As in they needed to be punished for their crimes against God and the people they were created to guide. Michael knew that Hell wasn't alone in the releasing of Lucifer, and Gabriel informed him that there were still angels in Heaven that needed to be dealt with.
"Well... I'll be staying with Sam for awhile," Jo said, watching him. "If you need a place to stay, the Roadhouse is locked up but you can probably get past that now. You can stay there."
"Thank you," he said with a nod. There was another pause. "I'm sorry. For not -- being more prepared."
"Judging from the other angels we've met, none of you are prepared for dealing with people. You'll get the hang of it the longer you hang around with Dean." She moved away from him and sat down in the chair next to Sam's bedside. There were a lot of people she'd have to call soon who wanted to know that Sam was okay. It was going to eat up her cell phone minutes like crazy.
"Most of my dealing with people before I fell was limited to the -- not so good parts." He paused again. "I was never meant for conversation. That was usually Gabriel's area."
"Yeah, Gabriel's not that much better. Things are different down here, especially for us humans. You should listen to Dean more." Jo paused for a second, considering that. "Only on some things though. He's not always great with people."
That got her a slight chuckle. "Better with women, than men, though he never could manage to say the right thing with you." He paused again, before turning his eyes back towards the parking lot. "Then again, he probably would have done better with men if he hadn't spent his time trying to cheat them out of their money or sleeping with their women."
Jo snorted, wondering if Michael was aware of how his comment sounded. "Oh, I'm sure if Dean went to the right places, he'd do fine with men."
At that, the angel frowned, turning around to face her with a confused look. "I am not sure I understand what you mean." Dean did. Dean was balking, to be quite honest, but he wasn't about to explain either.
"If you did, I'd be worried about you." Jo offered Michael a small smile. "Just grab a seat, time for us to hurry up and wait."
"I'd rather stand," he said with a nod. "But thank you."
"Suit yourself, angel boy." She shrugged. "If I make some calls, your angel powers won't interfere, right?"
He shook his head. "I don't think so."
"Alright, here goes nothing." Jo dug her phone out of her pocket and dialed Ruby's number. She would definitely want to know that Sam was back.
Ruby was curled up on one of the cots in the panic room, Jinx pressed to her side when her phone started to ring. She didn't think that she would be able to get reception down here, but apparently she was wrong. Taking a deep breath, she placed the phone to her ear and answered. "Hello?"
"Ruby, it's Jo. Sam's back. We're at the hospital, but he's going to be fine." Jo glanced at Sam and then the machines monitoring him. "Do you need someone to come get you or can you drive?"
There were a few slow breaths that were, in their own attempt, probably meant to be relaxing but not really working. She wasn't sure what to say in response to Jo's question. "Is he awake?" Because if he was, there was a distinct possibility that the last person he wanted to see would be her.
"No, not yet." Jo was a little concerned. She had expected a little more from Ruby, maybe it was just shock? It was one of those days, though. Just glancing at Michael reminded her of that. "Are you okay, Ruby?"
"Okay is a relative term." Arguably, Ruby hadn't been okay since the angels, in all their infinite wisdom, decided to make her human again. It was a pretty bullshit move on their part, but that was her own thing to deal with. Right now, though, she had to deal with all the pesky emotions that came with it, and right now? Her emotions when it came to Sam were a big mix of anger, resentment, guilt and fear along with a ton of relief. She was glad he was alive. She really was. But she wasn't sure if she could be comforted by that until she knew what he remembered. The sight of Sam -- who she knew logically wasn't Sam and was just Lucifer wearing him -- with Amy draped around him was all too fresh in her head, and she really wasn't sure how she felt about the whole Sam situation until he woke up and she knew what he remembered. "I don't have a car. At least, not at the moment, and I don't know if Bobby is up for much driving. But I'll see if I can work something out."
"Yeah, I know." Again Jo looked at Michael and sighed a little. She had thought Dean being gone was hard but Dean being here and acting like Michael? Turns out that was harder. Focus on the problem at hand, Jo thought to herself. "Call me if you can't find a ride. I'll make sure you get here."
"I will," Ruby nodded, but she was relatively certain that that was a lie. "So -- how's everyone else? The boys okay?"
"Not really. Something happened to Dean and they're taking it really badly," Jo said, not sure if Ruby knew what had happened to Dean or not. Hunter caution made her keep it to herself. "He's not hurt or anything, but it's a change."
Jo didn't have to say it for Ruby to know what she meant. Alloces had called it after all. That wasn't going to end well. "What about Ben and Alec?"
"Ben stormed out and Alec went after him." Jo lowered her voice a little, though it probably wouldn't make a difference. Michael would probably hear her anyway. "I think they're pretty hurt and angry about things."
"Yeah, well -- that's what happens when angels get involved. People get hurt."
"They aren't all bad." Michael had been nice so far. A little weird, but all the angels were weird. Jo kind of liked some of them. Castiel wasn't bad most of the time and she was probably going to end up liking Michael if he hung around long enough. She wanted to make some snappy comment about demons, but she kept it to herself.
"Sorry, I might have a bit of a bias, given they changed my species without my consent and all."
"You know, I'd be grateful if I were you, but I didn't call you to lecture you or argue with you. Sam's here if you want to come see him and guess what, he's human too." She hung up, closing her phone with a hard snap. She didn't want to deal with Ruby's shit right now. Taking a deep breath, she worked to keep her composure. If Dean was here, everything would be fine, but right now she was the best they had.
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Alec gave his father one last look and zipped out of the room hoping to find Ben before he really had a chance to try and disappear, The was only one reasonable path out and Alec was grateful to have caught him before he'd taken either the stairs or the elevator down. "Ben?"
Ben turned his head to look at Alec, then scowled and kept walking. "I'm done, Alec. Don't try and stop me."
Alec followed, but without pushing Ben's personal bubble to close. "Are you going to come back?" He was worried and pissed. But worry was definitely winning right now.
"Why? Why should I bother? All I even get from being here is hurt and I'm sick and tired of it. I never should have left Indiana."
"Isn't any of the good in between worth it?" Because it was for Alec. But maybe he was wrong about that. He had to admit to himself that his idea of tolerable conditions were much more lax than any sane persons.
"Good between what? Losing family members over and over again and being told 'buck up, kid... it's for the greater good. You'll understand some day.'?" Ben spun to glare at Alec. "Nothing is worth living through that pain again. Third strike, and I'm so outta here. I REFUSE to go through this again and I don't care what anyone says."
"So what are you going to do instead? Pretend we aren't here? That we won’t miss you or won’t care?"
"Do I look like I care? Did you SEE Sam and what that... that thing did to him? And you still believe that that's Dad?" Ben's eyes narrowed. "You may think you see him inside, but I don't feel him. I don't like what I feel. You'd be better off leaving too and going back to your other family. At least they won't rip you apart from the inside."
"I saw Sam. And that thing is you father. Just like he's mine. And yeah, he's off right now, but it's still him. And I see that Sam is alive. I see that Sam will get better. I see that Sam isn't being ridden by the devil himself. So, you know, I'll cut a little slack. And yes I damned well do see Dad. And I'm sorry that you can't feel him right now, but that doesn't mean he isn't there. Did you hear him! Why wouldn't you even give him a chance? She promised it would be okay. But She said it would take time. This isn't time." His fingers flexed as he tried to not yell. "And you think my other family is so much easier. That no hurt comes from that quarter? I've already had a brother and sister murdered so it's not like that's all roses you know?"
"Well, I've had both my parents die in my arms and I'm not going to stick around and wait to see if and when he might come back. And you know what, how dare you even start this with me. When Dad died and I was left holding him, you left me there. Didn't even give me warning, hell I hadn't even been conscious for a minute and you abandoned me for weeks. So don't give me a holier than thou art attitude just because you're palling around with the angel squad now."
That made Alec look away. "I freaked out and fucked up and I'm sorry. There's nothing else I can offer to make that right. And I get that. But that doesn't mean that you aren't about to leave here with the wrong idea. You're acting like Dad's been fucking murdered. He hasn't. He's there. He's right fucking there. And how am I palling around with the angels? What just because I decide to try and make the best of the situation. I wanted to be friends with the guy that was going to be sticking closer than my own damned shadow no matter what I wanted? I didn't realize that was a fucking crime. But just because Gabriel seemed to not really give a fuck about me aside from duty doesn't mean I'm going to walk out on Dad!"
"He is NEVER going to be Dean Winchester again!" Ben shouted, his finger stabbing back towards the direction of Sam's room. "And I'm not going to sit around and smile and pretend that everything is going to be ok because it isn't. Maybe you're happy acting like it but I won't. They may have well just murdered him because right now he is dead to me and there's nothing that can change my mind. I don't trust angels."
Alec nearly growled. "He still is Dean Winchester. He's that and then some. He's still our father. He's still the man that was willing to die to save you." He jabbed a finger in Ben's direction. His anger was starting to override the worry and he knew that was bad, but it was, never the less. And instead of getting louder he was getting quieter and more clipped. "What makes angels so much worse than demons or humans, huh? What, Dad's changed so he doesn't deserve your love anymore?"
"I will always love my father. And if you want this... that angel in there to be him, fine you go right ahead. I don't want any part of this anymore." Ben's voice dropped too, dangerously low. "Now I'm done here, Alec, and I don't want you following me or you won't like what comes out of me next." Ben just wanted to get as far from the hospital as he could, and if Alec kept trying, he'd feel Ben start to summon up some powers Ben hadn't touched in a long time, but he was so angry now that they flowed easily.
Threatening Alec was never a good way to get him to back off. His handlers back in Manticore knew that. The other transgenics knew it. But Ben apparently didn't. Most of the time he managed to keep a wrap on that more feral instinct, but he was already angry and emotional and coiled for a fight that wasn't going to come. The cat in his DNA was an alpha and didn't like backing down. Couldn't back down without a challenge. His chin came up in that arrogant Winchester way that was most often seen on Sam when it was seen at all. "What are you going to do, huh?" In the back of his mind he knew this was a bad idea but he was finally too pissed to care.
"Back off, Alec. Just go back upstairs and leave me alone." Ben turned his back on his brother and started for the stairs. It would be a faster way out.
Alec growled. Actually growled. "So what, you're done with me too? Thanks for the memories, so the brother thing didn't work out?" He'd never wanted to punch Ben before, but he did now. This hurt. And while things hurt all the time, often it just happened. But Ben was doing this.
"Now you know how I felt." He pushed opened the door for the stairs and started down.
Alec watched him go, unable to force himself to follow. He deserved that he knew. He'd fucked up badly before when their dad had ended up in Hell. The consequences were just delayed that’s all. Nothing was ever free and no mistake ever went unpunished. That was how his life worked.
He stood, frozen for a long time and then took a deep breath and silently went back to Sam's room. He had an apology to make.
Michael wasn't sure exactly what had happened regarding Alec and Ben's conversation, but from the emotions Dean had picked up, he could tell that it hadn't been a good one. When he felt his son's presence outside of Sam's room, he just waited quietly for Alec to come back. When his son appeared in the doorway, he turned from the window to face him, showing an emotion that he hoped was concern. "Are you alright?"
He did a pretty good job of it. It was stiff, but genuine. He got that sort of thing from some of the transgenics to. He took it in the spirit that it was intended even if it was stiff. "That. . .depends entirely on how you mean it. Am I standing? Yes. Did I get Ben to calm down? No, I pretty much made that worse. I'm pretty much a fuck up, but hey getting used to that." He bit his lip and looked down. "Sorry."
"It's not your fault," Michael said slowly. He paused for a moment knowing that there was some kind of physical contact that was supposed to go with a gesture like this, but he wasn't sure as to what, and decided that a simple hand on his shoulder was best. "This -- none of this is easy to swallow."
And suddenly he was angry again, though not at his father. "Yeah, well, it's might slide down a little better if people trusted me to know what I'm talking about on occasion. I mean, I realize I fuck up pretty often, as Ben pointed out, but I'm not hallucinating." He didn't move away from the hand on his shoulder though. It wasn't quite right, but it sure as shit wasn't wrong either.
"Some people need to come into things in their own time. He doesn't -- see things as clearly as you can." He was quiet again, before deciding that a change of subject might help. "I can explain now. If you'd like."
Alec rubbed a hand over his face and looked up at the man. "Yeah. I mean, all I've figured out is the real basic facts of 'dad's an archangel.' I have to admit that doesn't explain much."
"Michael," he clarified, thinking that specifics might help. "I'm Michael." There was a pause for a moment. "You might want to sit down. It's a rather -- long -- story."
Alec did sit in one of the available chairs. Well he perched on the back with his feet in the feet, a little to keyed up to settle. "So what am I supposed to call you. Dean, Michael or Dad?"
"Whichever you're most comfortable with," Michael said slowly. "I am, technically, all three."
"Only technically?" But he was teasing. It was lame but there.
That got him a slight smirk. "I'm still your father, even if I don't act like it at the moment. I still -- haven't had the chance to find balance yet. There wasn't really any time."
Aec grinned. The smirk, even tempered was less stiff, than Michael all on his own seemed to be. "Hey, using contractions is a good first step."
Michael relaxed a bit more at the grin on his son's face. He gave no outward response to the joke otherwise, but the relaxing was a good thing. "There are some of them I still will not use."
Alec liked relaxing. That meant they were actually on the same wavelength. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. "Why not, and then maybe we should back up to the beginning of the story."
He shrugged. "It just doesn't feel -- right. When I speak." He paused for a minute, before swallowing. "And this is -- quite a long story."
Alec spread his hands. "For once I'm pretty sure we have time."
He nodded slightly, before crossing his arms in front of his chest. "In 1973, Mary Campbell made a deal with a demon named Azazel. The life of the man she was seeing at the time in exchange for permission. Azazel wasn't clear as to what the permission was for, but Mary was from a long line of hunters, and she knew that it couldn't have been something good."
He could only assume that the man in question was John. He nodded to show that he was listening.
"Mary started to pray for guidance, unsure of how to handle the situation, and her prayers were heard. In order to help protect her family, the Lord asked Her most loyal angel to cut out his grace and fall to earth as a human, in order to protect her future son, Samuel."
"So as Dean, you had no memory of being Michael until now." He thought about all of this. "So. . .how much of this was all planned? She seemed pretty reluctant to tap you, but at the same time. . . "
"Gabriel held onto my grace until such a time as I was needed, but -- they hadn't expected it to take this long. They hadn't expected for there to be children in the picture. I'm sure that if necessary, She would have much preferred for me to live out my life as Dean Winchester, and my angelic nature never being called into question."
"So Ben and I were just. . .accidents?"
Michael closed his eyes. "If things had gone as intended and I had died when I was supposed to, Lucifer would have been a much larger concern a lot sooner. I would have been tapped earlier, and -- we most likely, never would have met."
"It would have been easier." He bit his lip. "But I wouldn't trade this. Even with everything that's happened. I wouldn't trade it."
If Dean could breathe, he would have been letting out a slow one. "Part of me is very relieved to hear that, though another part is still sorry that it had to come to this. That you have to -- adjust."
Alec raised an eyebrow. "The Dean part?" He sighed. "Look I'm not saying this is fun. Or easy. But I can't imagine you're having a picnic either. She said we'd be okay. And I believe Her. But She also said it would take time. So. . .it'll take time."
"I appreciate that, Alec. I truly do."
"You're my dad." He shrugged. He felt it was a given.
Michael nodded slightly, before swallowing and looking up at him again. "I may -- have to go away for a little while."
"What? Why?" He was clearly startled, and not pleased.
"I -- haven't been home in some time. I want to take some time to process, and adjust -- become more of the person you're expecting. I know this is a hard time to do it, but -- I need the inner peace, and I miss my brothers. I will be back, though."
Alec wanted to start bawling. He didn't want to be alone and without his father there really was no one left. Sam was a mess, and an unconscious one at that. He would take up Ruby's attention. And he should. Ben had left them all to rot, Amy. . .he couldn't even think about her right now. He didn't want Gabriel anywhere near him. He didn't even have Jinx and he barely even knew Jo.
But his father was an archangel. He wasn't just Alec's any more. Or even just the family's. He had bigger things to worry about, and he'd been away from home for fifty years. That had to hurt. Alec knew how much it hurt to be away from family. He was learning it all over again right this moment. And the world did not revolve around what Alec Winchester wanted.
So he nodded. "Okay." He bit his lip hard take keep himself under control. "You promise you'll come back?"
"I promise," he nodded. "Probably sooner than you expect."
"I don't really have an expectation? This is a little new." He had his shit together for the moment. He was proud of himself.
He nodded. "Then I'll try not to be long."
Alec nodded again and swallowed. Asking him to stay wouldn't help. It would only make the man feel guilty, so Alec didn't. "Okay. I'll be here when you get back."
"Okay," Michael nodded, before reaching forward and giving his shoulder a slight squeeze. "Is there anything you need before I -- ?"
Alec hugged him and didn't dare open his mouth.
Michael paused, before sliding his arms around him again, holding him as long as he seemed to need it.
After a few minutes Alec pried himself away. "Sorry."
"Don't be," Michael said with a nod, before stepping back. "Don't hesitate to call if you need anything."
Alec nodded. "Okay." Because what else could he say.
Michael nodded again, before disappearing out of view, leaving Alec alone with his uncle.
Alec crumpled back into the chair, hands fisting in his hair, elbows on knees and he stared at the floor without seeing it for a long time.