Ben gets a teacher, and some peace of mind...

[mini_dean]

Bobby was waiting at the doorway as he heard the car driving up a good distance away. "Thank god," he muttered, going out to meet the car.

Missouri is driving and old beaten blue hatch back and pulls to a stop in what seems like an appropriate parking space. After a moment she is standing in front of Bobby. "It's been a long time since a man's been that glad to see me." She can already hear Ben loud and clear. That boy need shields for everyone's sake, but mostly for his own.

"Trust me, after five days living with this kid, I'm happy to find anything that will fix his volume button." Bobby held the door open for her. "There's another girl around here somewhere, Anna. She's helping stabilize him a bit mentally. The kid's a mess, but he'll recover. He's strong like his father."

"Winchester's are the strongest men I've ever met. They're just so stubborn that they don't know if you don't bend sometimes you break." She shook her head. "You got a shielded room we can use?"

"Shielded room? Sweetie I'm far from anyone that you'd have to worry about as it is. But the kid hangs out in the junkyard most of the time. I think the rows of cars provide the shielding he wants."

And Bobby wasn't about to give up his metal ghost panic room if they didn't need it.

Bobby may want to consider not thinking about it then. But telling someone to not think about things they didn't want to share was like telling them to not think of the camel's left knee. "Where can I put my bag and then I'll find the boy."



"There's two rooms empty at the top of the stairs. Anna's staying across from Ben at the end of the hall, and Ben..." Bobby rubbed the back of his neck. "His room overlooks the grave."

"I can't tell the boy how to mourn. All I can do is make sure he's only doing it for himself and not you too." She had he own goodbyes to say and mourning to be done, but she kept it all in and locked down tight to spare Ben.

"Trust me, that kid knows how to mourn. What he needs to know is how not to listen in on everyone else around him. Or project his own. And that kid has some bad dreams going on that I didn't need to see last night." Bobby rubbed his eyes.

She makes her way back out to the front door after dropping her bag in her room and then stops. "Where is the Impala?"

"Alec has it." Bobby was confused as to where she was going now. "He's got a hell hound as a bodyguard, so I think he's good for now."

"You want to run that by me again? With an explanation?" She turns to face him with a hand on her hip.

Bobby shrugged. "Sam got him a puppy. Probably an early Christmas gift, how the hell do I know?"

She just skims the very very surface of Bobby's thoughts then. Another son. Faceless in Bobby's mind. More than faceless, there is not personality impression at all. Bobby clear knows nothing about the child aside from his existence. "You're explanation is lacking Bobby Singer. I'm going to go see about sorting Ben out." And she marches off.

Bobby just watched her go, then turned and muttered something about John Winchester and his damn friends before going back inside, the door slamming behind him.

Out in the junk yard, Ben was working on a car - he had found a lot of parts for a chevy chevelle and was building one to occupy his mind. It gave him something to do, and kept him in an area that was quiet. Anna wasn't around at the moment, leaving him be as he kept a face guard down while welding part of a frame together.

Then he felt a new presence hit the edge of his mind and he stopped, turning off the flame and standing up, lifting the guard up. "Can I help you?"

"I think it's the other way around." He couldn't hear anything from her even if he could feel here. "Ben, right?" She stayed at a safe distance, not wanting to get singed. "Bobby gave me a ring."

Ben gave a Winchester smirk and took his helmet off completely, wiping his brown. "Depends on who's asking. But if Bobby brought you in, you already know the answer to that one."

And that fact he looked almost exactly like Dean did at 22 wouldn't escape her notice.

"It's called being polite." She hadn't been expecting the resemblance to be that close and it startled her a bit. "My names Missouri. I've known your father and uncle since Sam was a babe and your dad was still a goofy looking four year old."

"Dad was goofy looking? I guess I looked more like mom then as a kid." Ben grinned and sat on the frame of the car. Then he tilt his head, confused. "How are you doing that?"

"Oh he sure was. Floppy blond hair and big ol' ears." She sat on a different car hood. "Staying quiet? Practice and a good set of mental shields. My gift is like yours. That's why they called me."

"So you're a psychic?" Ben's eyes widened just a bit. She had his attention now, and his curiosity. "What demon did this to you?"

"No demon, honey. Just the way I was born." She smiles softly at him. "It happens sometimes. People born with gifts. You Winchesters are sort of odd ducks."

"Yeah, I got the memo on that. Powers hidden underneath and needs a little demon booster shot to make them appear." Ben wasn't sure why, but he was suddenly not sure of himself with her around. And the smart mouth wasn't natural to him, but it was the only thing he had at the moment.

"Power reaches to power." She lets the smart mouth go for now, since he's struggling. "But it wont change who you really are if you don't let it control you. You aren't your father, but I think you're just as strong. what do you thing, honey?"

"What do I think? I think I'm nine days from being twenty two, and in the last 360 days I've lost my mother, found a father and then held the blade that killed him. I just want to go back to this time last year and not have any of it happen. Then my mom and dad would both be alive, I'd be normal and everything would just be right." Ben's jaw twitched, not sure really what he thought.

"I don't want this life."

"No one in their right mind does. And I wish I could give you your parents back." She also thinks the boy could use a hug. "All I can offer you right now though is to see if we can get this gift under control."

"I can take a wild guess that this isn't going to be easy." He put the helmet on top of the propane tank, knowing he would go back to the car in a few days. The feeling of being helpless... worthless... they started to seep off him like a waterfall. He hated when he had to focus on them - the anger towards his gift was also easy to read.

That grated against the edges of her mind hard enough to make her wince. Power called to power and the hardest block out was another telepath. "It wont be easy, but it also wont be the hardest thing you've ever done." She looked at his critically for a moment. "It'll be worth it to you though if that pinched look is anything to go by."

"Pinched look?" He raised an eyebrow at her. "What does that mean?"

"You're to young for those wrinkles." Like he was in constant pain. Which she was willing to lay money her was to some degree.

"What, they don't make me look older and more mature?" Yeah, no there was no way to tell he was Dean's son. How could Lisa have hidden that fact this long? But she would win that bet because anytime someone was near him now, he felt some kind of pain in his head. Depending on the person and their shields depending on just how bad it felt.

Missouri just snorted. "You're lucky I've mellowed in my old age. I smacked your grandfather when his mouth got out of hand." But he was a good kid and she knew it already.

That stopped Ben a bit and he looked at her for a moment like he was a kid again. "You mean Dean's dad? What was he like?"

This Ben felt more real to her than when he was trying on his Dad's sarcasm as a shield. "John was a good man. He had a sharp sense of humor and nasty temper. He could hold a grudge like nothing you've ever known and was more stubborn than your father could ever think of being on his worst day. John and Sam are a lot alike. He loved Sam and Dean but didn't know how to talk to them for beans. You're lucky that your father took more after his mother." Recent events not withstanding because the willingness to sacrifice themselves was a Winchester trait, even if they only married in.

"I wish I could have met them," Ben said. "I knew my mom's parents, but they weren't around long in my life. And they wouldn't believe in things like demons and such."

"That's not a bad thing. Ignorance is bliss sometimes. You are most likely a more stable person for it." Because if there was one thing the Winchesters were it was volatile.

"I think you're the first person to call me stable. I mean, I'm the kid who helped save half my neighborhood from a changeling while Dean and Sam took her on directly. Five years later the kids have written it off in their minds and I'm the freak of the group." Ben rubbed his arm self-consciously. "I'm the one who chose to be a mechanic instead of going off to college even though my mom saved up money for me. No one really understood me, except my mom."

"You sound like you understand yourself. I bet your momma save up that money so you could be happy, even if it wasn't by going to college. And there ain't nothing wrong with being a mechanic. John was, so you take after your grandpa a little. No shame in that."

"I've liked cars since I was a kid." but Ben smiled at that. Something that he might have connected to his grandfather. That was nice to know. And as Missouri talked more and more, his tension wore away.

She smiles, "Another Impala devotee?" She's pleased that his tension is fading. They need at least some trust between them for her to help him.

"Oh, the Impala is beautiful, but I love my Layla more. Sweet ride. Chevy Camero. Built her myself from spare parts I found across half of Indiana."

"You all have a fixation." But it isn't said like an insult. More like she finds it endearing.

"At least it's a healthy one." Ben grinned. "So, you said you were hear to help me. How would you go about doing that?"

"I'm going to try and teach you everything I know. Starting with how to put up a wall between yourself and every one else." She was incredibly glad that he was no curious. It made things much easier.

"So there's a way that I can just... block it all? Permanently?"

"Yes and no" This was easier when the power came on gradually. "You can shield yourself, but you have to maintain them. You can't turn the gift off, but you can manage it."

"Show me?"

She is very serious. "Do you want me to try and show you, or try and teach you with words?" She will do either. Eventually she figures she'll be able to teach him things directly mind to mind, but she wont push him. Not now.

"Which is easier?"

"Telling you is easier, but showing and sharing is much more effective. You'll be able to understand better."

"Then show me." Ben nodded. "Though, can i take a shower first? I'm kinda sweaty."

That earns him a laugh. "Sure honey. You tell me when you're ready."

Ben smiled. He led Missouri back to Bobby's house where he ran upstairs to go and shower. He didn't have many clothes at Bobby's, so he was relying on the few things Sam had left behind, some things Bobby had of Dean's that he was given, and the big hoodie that Sam had given him.

About an hour later he came back downstairs in a pair of jeans, and a teeshirt hidden under the too big hoodie. He snuck into the kitchen first to see what might be edible for lunch. He was still a growing boy after all.

Missouri, in the mean time, had made herself comfortable in the kitchen and was now tending to grilled cheese sandwiches. She flipped one. "First thing you should know is that if you're going to try something new you don't want to be distracted. An empty belly will do that."

Ben leaned against the counter and watched her making the sandwiches. "I tend to get absorbed and don't remember to eat for hours, especially when working on the cars."

"Being about to focus is good. It'll help a lot. But you need energy too. Just because it all happening in your head," She tapped his forehead with her index finger, "doesn't mean it wont be hard work." She handed him a plate.

"I say bring it on." Ben took his plate and walked over to the table, setting it down. He then went and poured himself a glass of water. "You want a drink?"

More polite than his father, that was for sure. "Yes. Water would be fine." She carried her own plate over to the table. "With that sort of attitude you're have the basics sorted out in no time." She meant it. He may be more polite than his father, but he seemed to have inherited that hard working streak of determination.

Lisa had done some good in raising Ben, that's for sure. Those things called manners, for one. Ben got Missouri's drink as well, and a bottle of ketchup, and returned to the table. "So, what's this going to be like? Sitting cross legged across from each other while whale songs play in the background and trying to get in touch with my inner psychic?" He poured a puddle of ketchup onto the plate, then dipped the edge of his sandwich in.

"Ketchup with grilled cheese?" That was alarming. "Honey whales only sound attracted to each other and you have no inner psychic. That's your trouble." She smiled at him. "Nothing so difficult on the bones as sitting on the floor. Your rear end would go numb. Just a quiet room is all we really need. You can pick the room."

"What kind of quiet? Most of the rooms are since we're out in the middle of nowhere."

"Just somewhere were we wont be bothered, that's all." She approved of the middle of nowhere until Ben had some decent protections for himself.

"Then almost any room upstairs will do." Just not his room. Because him and an old lady in his bedroom was not a good image, even if it wasn't like that. Now Anna on the other hand... Oh Missouri, you are in trouble working with the almost 22 year old Winchester male with the inability to keep his mind to himself.

She did not smile. Did not. Would not. Because the thoughts were his own and he didn't mean to share them so loudly. But it made her want to laugh because it was the most normal and healthy thing she'd seen from Ben yet. The whole mess. from thinking her old and not wanting her in his room to thinking this Anna girl would be a lovely addition to his sheets. Ben wasn't damaged by the sudden gift of telepathy, just over whelmed by it. "Well you can lead the way when you're gone with your ketchup." Ketchup and cheese. The idea was revolting.

Ben smirked as he dipped the sandwich in again. "I also put it in my mac and cheese." It was because growing up, it was the only way Lisa was able to get Ben to get his vegetables in was to let him have organic ketchup with almost everything. Think of it as a kid's version of a V8. But at least Ben didn't just slurp it from packets. Ketchup on it's own was gross. But with things like cheese sticks, chicken nuggets, hot dogs, french fries, and yes, mac and cheese - it was good.

". . . . " All she can do is shudder. But she makes a mental note to make mac and cheese for the lot of them. Missouri found the act of cooking very relaxing. The people around her were lucky that she was good at it.

He just let his smirk grow as he finished up his meal. "I'll go upstairs and see if there is a room that will work." With that, he took off, going up the steps two at a time as he checked in the rooms. The one across from where Bobby slept would actually work the best, so he opened the window to get some circulation of the air in the room, found a blanket to spread over the unmade bed, and beat the dust off the chair before heading back downstairs.

"Found one."

"Good." She stood, put her dishes in the sink and followed Ben. "Lets start getting you sorted."

Ben led her to the room, then walked over to the window. There was a nice breeze coming in and he relaxed a bit more. "So, what shall we do first?"

"The goal is for you to have a wall between you and the rest of the world." She settled into the chair, elbow on the armrest and chin on her hand. She had no plans on rushing him as this was supposed to help his stress level, not increase it. "But we'll get thing rolling with you getting feel of my shields for the outside. And then from the inside. Just to get an idea."

"A wall? Brick or plaster board?" Ben moved over to sit across from her, smirking a bit as he listened to the rest of her explanation.

"Alright... how?"

She smiled at his smart mouth, the milder form of Dean's smart mouth suited Ben just fine. "Personally I prefer frosted glass or marble my self." Then, just to get him. "You know, that pretty pink kind. But you can make yours out of what ever your little heart desires." She could feel his mind spread out around them. She just needed him to start noticing what he was bumping into. Namely her. "Close you eyes honey, and just see if you can find me. When you do give me just a little push." She knew she was risking a good old fashioned mental shove because he was new and fumbling, but she'd deal with it. Controlled contact was the important part. She allowed her own mind to stretch a little. Not her thoughts but an inviting feeling for him to zero in on.

"Alright." He was skeptical, because he didn't know HOW to do what she was asking. But damned if he didn't at least try. So he closed his eyes and sighed, trying to see if he could figure it out.

And he sat there. And he felt stupid. Because he didn't know what he was supposed to be doing. How the hell was he going to "find" her. And if he figured that out, then how the hell was he going to "push" her? His eyes were closed and he couldn't see jack shit. And his frustration was really starting to fill the room.

The intensity of his frustration startled Missouri. She hadn't realized how little he knew. "Stop, honey. We'll back up." She absolutely did not want him frustrate or angry. It would only make things harder for him.

Ben stopped and opened his eyes, disappointed in himself. "I don't know what I'm doing. When Meg was in control... she did it all. I never had access to any of that."

That made his lack of understand make a lot more sense. Even the sudden onset of a gift like this took at least a couple of days to geer up and even longer to full shape itself. But if Ben had been able to witness any of it then he was flying utterly blind. "No shame in not knowing then, honey. It's impossible to learn if you were never given the chance. we'll just make sure you get the chance now."

"So you're telling me to find you. How do I do that? I'm just sitting here in the dark and feeling like an idiot."

"By listening. But it isn't with your ears. We'll take it slow. Lets try some thing a little different. Can you hear Bobby?" Maybe a more familiar, less shielded mind would be easier to start this lesson with. Is Ben could sense Bobby then they could examine how he did that.

"No, I can't hear him. He's over in his workshop on the other side of the junk yard." Which he could feel. He just wasn't understanding what Missouri meant by hearing.

She smiled, proud of him. "If you can figure that out then you can hear him. Just not read his thoughts. Which I'm sure both of you appreciate. What do you call it if you don't call that hearing him?" There was no sarcasm or anything of the like in her question. She was just trying to make sure they where on the same page.

"Well, I'm not using my ears, so I'm not hearing him. It's just like he's there." he waved his hand a bit, showing him where it felt Bobby stood in his mind space. "If he was closer though, then sometimes I can hear him. Or feel how he's feeling. Sam got a vision a few days ago and it almost tore my head open. I didn't see any of it though. I just felt the pain he was going through."

He used the word "felt" a lot in that, he realized. "I guess I'd call it feeling..."

"All right. So you feel other minds more than hear them. That is a good start. Did you have to try and feel him or is he always there?" She really had no idea how powerful Ben was.

Ben also had no idea how powerful he was, so they can figure it out together. "Right now he's always there. Depending on where he and I are depends on where I feel him. it's like an old, grumpy grandpa feeling that he gives off."

That made Missouri laugh. "I promise to never tell him you said that." So Ben had a gift for sensing thoughts and emotions. And the empathy reached farther. And Ben didn't seem to mind that sort of soft contact. If that were true then maybe hard solid walls were not really what the boy needed right now. Maybe he just needed filters to keep from being overwhelmed when people got to close. "Do you mind that you can always feel him?" Missouri needed to understand things from Ben point of view, not try and bring him around to her's.

"I don't know. I mean, I like knowing people are around. But when too many people are around, it sucks." Ben rubbed the back of his neck, unsure of what Missouri was really wanting as an answer.

Missouri just wanted an honest answer. There was no write or wrong because it was his mind, not hers.

"I just don't like feeling how they feel, or what they think. I'm sure it could come in handy on a hunt, but I don't need it every day."

She was starting to get a feel for how his mind works, and maybe what he wanted out of his gift. He was so afraid of it and all the wrong things that Meg had done with it that Misssouri was hoping he'd see the ways that it could work for him and not against him. "I think we can do that for you." She brought down her own shields just a little. She fully planned to use herself as a guinea pig, because his shields would be nothing like hers. "Can you feel my mind now?"

Ben blinked. Because while he had a faint feeling before from her, suddenly it just got a whole lot stronger. And it wasn't strong enough to cause him any kind of pain either. "How did you do that?"

"Just lowered my mental shields a little. They help keep me in and other people out. That's what we want you to have too. So you can decide what you want to hear when."

"Shield. Huh. Is this different than the wall you were talking to me about before?"

"No. It's the same thing. Shield is sort of the universal term. I thought a wall would be a good way to teach you about it, but I think I may have been wrong. I think you'll need to build your protections different from mine."

Ben just leaned back on the bed and rubbed his eyes. "This is starting to give me a headache."

"Do you want to stop for a while, honey? We have time."

"No, I want to get it done. That faster I learn, the easier it's going to be."

"All right, but if the headache gets bad we need to stop. Pain will only slow you down." She looked at him, expression suggesting how little she was messing around with that statement.

"I'll let you know when it gets to that point." He pulled himself back up, taking a deep breath. He had to do this. He had to get control. His dad would want him to do this. Work hard. Get it done. Move on to the next problem.

"Let me guess - close my eyes and try to find you again?"

"Yep. Though I don't think it should be to hard for you." She waits to feel the brush of his mind.

Ben licked his lips, then nodded and closed his eyes. He could feel where she was, but how could he touch her? Finally he just imagined a a hand reaching out. And he wasn't sure what he was doing, but he just went with it and "reached out" and "tapped" Missouri.

It was a bit more than a tap, and fumbling, but she smiled anyway and let the pleased feeling slip through. They could work on finesse later. "Good. Very good. Now that you're sure of where I am, imagine something wrapping around you. Like gauze, or a sheet, or even lacy curtains."

"Missouri, I'm not gay." Lacey curtains? PLEASE. He sighed and closed his eyes again, trying to figure this one out. Finally, he found an image of him at eight, just after the changelings. He was afraid to go to sleep, so his mother bought him this blanket. It had Star Wars all over it, and his mom told him that it would protect him from the demons. So he imagined himself being wrapped up in that blanket, nice and tight and safe.

Missouri smiled brightly as she felt Ben's mind pull away and become just slightly more muffled to her. She gave him a long minute to settle what ever image he used firmly in his minds before speaking quietly. "Can you still feel me?"

Ben tried. But when he was in the blanket, it was hard to feel her. He poked his head out of the blanket and felt her again. Head back in the blanket. Gone. Missouri would feel almost like a game of peek-a-boo was going on with Ben.

Finally, he opened his eyes. "Damn, it actually works. I mean, I can still feel you, but it's less now."

"Good. That's the basic principle. Now every layer you add should protect you a little bit more."

"But won't I suffocate after awhile?"

"Think about not. You're mind it your own little universe. If you don't want to suffocate you wont. It's to protect you not hurt you. And you can unwrap any time you want."

"Alright, I think I get it then..." he smiled. "I think I actually get it now."

She was just as pleased as Ben. "See? Not so hard. Now what you have right now wont hold up to much, but we can work on making it a lot stronger. How's the headache?"

"Feeling better." He gave Missouri a bright grin.

She smiles back. "Do you want to work on making them stronger now, or just bask in your success a bit?"

"Basking works for now. We've got time to make it stronger."