Want too much?
Been thinking back on my life, as I'm predisposed to do. I've discovered something. I've always wanted to work in some capacity on TV or in the Movies.
When I wanted to be a singer or dancer, I always thought of musicals and music videos. Not the actual performance. Whenever it was acting, I was always recorded, even though I had seen so many stage plays. When I decided I was I writing, I watched my work be produced, when I wanted to direct, well, that ones pretty obvious.
I think I'm destined to be part of the film business.
Maybe not in any sort of large capacity, I mean, I would still love to act, maybe dance and sing too. But I don't really have the talent, (besides my natural talent for manipulation, which I'm trying to cause the atrophy of it). and I doubt I have the kind of skin that's generally required.
But after 4 years of drama, performing, a year of debate-performing, and so many speeches, I'll admit I miss being part of a production.
I miss the jitters, and adrenaline rushes of right before you enter stage, with the shakes uncontrollable, but the moment, that spotlight hits you, and you're seen, everything just stops. You are that character, it happens so quick that by the time you exit, you have no memory of it. I miss random people coming up to you, often friends or relatives of your co-stars, telling you that you're talented. :)
But most of all, I know my kinfolk dramatic actors will probably agree to this. I miss the rehearsals the most. I miss how insane, it is to play to an empty auditorium, to bring your script around classes, and take all the opportunities available to practice or memorize lines. I miss talking to myself behind buildings, and measuring just how much of my performance is reactionary, and how much is acting. I miss those long hours, where I'd stay after school, in a dark little theater, and watching everyone finally find their character, seal them up until they're as tight as a drum and waterproof, and just portray people so honestly. I miss the weird inside jokes that would happen from people mixing up lines. I miss the insanity of spending 50 hours just with each other, minimum, to have 2 hours tops of a play performance to go perfect, and the inevitability that things will go wrong somehow, but laughing because we know we covered it up so well that only the cast had any idea that it wasn't planned that way. I miss the going out and eating together after performances, so late at night, whether it was good or bad. Laughing about random things, and making friends with people that I probably would have never talked to. But most of all, I miss the love, and passion of those around me.
I want to do more.
I want to go back to doing plays, all the time.
When I wanted to be a singer or dancer, I always thought of musicals and music videos. Not the actual performance. Whenever it was acting, I was always recorded, even though I had seen so many stage plays. When I decided I was I writing, I watched my work be produced, when I wanted to direct, well, that ones pretty obvious.
I think I'm destined to be part of the film business.
Maybe not in any sort of large capacity, I mean, I would still love to act, maybe dance and sing too. But I don't really have the talent, (besides my natural talent for manipulation, which I'm trying to cause the atrophy of it). and I doubt I have the kind of skin that's generally required.
But after 4 years of drama, performing, a year of debate-performing, and so many speeches, I'll admit I miss being part of a production.
I miss the jitters, and adrenaline rushes of right before you enter stage, with the shakes uncontrollable, but the moment, that spotlight hits you, and you're seen, everything just stops. You are that character, it happens so quick that by the time you exit, you have no memory of it. I miss random people coming up to you, often friends or relatives of your co-stars, telling you that you're talented. :)
But most of all, I know my kinfolk dramatic actors will probably agree to this. I miss the rehearsals the most. I miss how insane, it is to play to an empty auditorium, to bring your script around classes, and take all the opportunities available to practice or memorize lines. I miss talking to myself behind buildings, and measuring just how much of my performance is reactionary, and how much is acting. I miss those long hours, where I'd stay after school, in a dark little theater, and watching everyone finally find their character, seal them up until they're as tight as a drum and waterproof, and just portray people so honestly. I miss the weird inside jokes that would happen from people mixing up lines. I miss the insanity of spending 50 hours just with each other, minimum, to have 2 hours tops of a play performance to go perfect, and the inevitability that things will go wrong somehow, but laughing because we know we covered it up so well that only the cast had any idea that it wasn't planned that way. I miss the going out and eating together after performances, so late at night, whether it was good or bad. Laughing about random things, and making friends with people that I probably would have never talked to. But most of all, I miss the love, and passion of those around me.
I want to do more.
I want to go back to doing plays, all the time.