sammy says hope doesn't exist, but i am full of it.
the way i know that i have calmed down in the past six months is this that satiya said so. if satiya thinks i've calmed down, then i have. if you know satiya, you know what i mean.
i've decided to go back to school. i'm going to get my teaching credential and teach high school to start out. i decided to do this not because it's what i really want to do, but because it will leave me space to do what makes me happy. if i want, i can have every summer off, and if i live frugally, which i do, i can use those summers to travel. i can spend every summer traveling, and then maybe when i hit thirty and i've been most everywhere i've wanted to be, i'll settle down, get married, and make some babies. teaching also leaves room for family. so i've decided to do this not for the fulfillment it will give me, but for the space it will leave for fulfillment.
it will also let me stay here in santa cruz, which i've decided i want to do for the time being, much to my mama's chagrin. i've been here for four and a half years now, and i just can't leave yet, if ever. my dad is excited about it, because he's going to retire in the next few years. he's already planning on visiting me all the time. he is trying to map a route to walk from berkeley to santa cruz. i love it.
so, i'll be at chili's for the next year and a half while i finish school, at which point i will have been working there for about three years, which is about the length of my longest romantic relationship. it feels good to have something to stick to, especially when it's all my beloved chiliheads over in capitola. i fear i will never know job satisfaction again the same way i have known it there, and i'll tell you, it's not the customers i'll miss when i go.
i've decided that it's been too long and i need to begin again with the writing. the first torturously executed short story of 2006 begins tomorrow.
i've decided to go back to school. i'm going to get my teaching credential and teach high school to start out. i decided to do this not because it's what i really want to do, but because it will leave me space to do what makes me happy. if i want, i can have every summer off, and if i live frugally, which i do, i can use those summers to travel. i can spend every summer traveling, and then maybe when i hit thirty and i've been most everywhere i've wanted to be, i'll settle down, get married, and make some babies. teaching also leaves room for family. so i've decided to do this not for the fulfillment it will give me, but for the space it will leave for fulfillment.
it will also let me stay here in santa cruz, which i've decided i want to do for the time being, much to my mama's chagrin. i've been here for four and a half years now, and i just can't leave yet, if ever. my dad is excited about it, because he's going to retire in the next few years. he's already planning on visiting me all the time. he is trying to map a route to walk from berkeley to santa cruz. i love it.
so, i'll be at chili's for the next year and a half while i finish school, at which point i will have been working there for about three years, which is about the length of my longest romantic relationship. it feels good to have something to stick to, especially when it's all my beloved chiliheads over in capitola. i fear i will never know job satisfaction again the same way i have known it there, and i'll tell you, it's not the customers i'll miss when i go.
i've decided that it's been too long and i need to begin again with the writing. the first torturously executed short story of 2006 begins tomorrow.