(no subject)
Although the question still remains, one thing I know for sure, somewhere along the way I lost the ability to smile.
It''s been a tough ride, for such a long long time, maybe too long.
Once I've heard "When do you know enough is enough?"
the answer was "Never, never is enough, it's love" .... probably true, probably they knew, probably it was worth it, probably.
Probably I lost, for as much as I try not to admit it.
Guess there's no trophy for the best made illusion, the best sinking ship, the best role playing, the blind who desperately refuse to see, to listen, even to feel.
There's hardly any reality in borrowed emotions, so many times made of what I want them to be, and that's the price to pay for always try to breath all the air around me, feel everything, try it all, as fast as I could, as fast as I can.
Time is indeed one of the worst daemons to deal with, to understand, to accept.
I've been around for a thousand years, yet I was born yesterday, so much and yet not enough, never is: I know that, yet, so many times feels like no more, just no more.
If it ended today I couldn't say less then I was fortunate.
Not that many really valuable things in life we can aim to achieve, and I was fortunate enough to have a few. Still am.
And that, nothing or no one will ever be strong enough to take away from me.
It's what I am, my single purpose from the very beginning, the reason I know I'm alive, and it's worth it, every bit of it, for as much pain as I carry inside.
Yes, I lost.
But I could show you how Purple Rain feels like inside your soul, not with borrowed words, but because I've been there, blue skies from pain as they once said.
Yes, I would lose again.
The blackbird still talks to me, and that is good enough.
