(no subject)
Character: WV (Warweary Villein/Wizardly Vassal/Wayward Vagabond/Wastelandic Vindicator)
Series: Homestuck
Character Age: ??? (adult)
Job Title: Mayor of Corn Town
Canon: Homestuck is the story of four kids who play SBURB, an apocalypse-inducing game, and unleash an unbeatable boss, talk to trolls from another universe, and engage in coming-of-age antics while trying to survive and build a new universe.
WV is an exile, a game construct sent to the shattered remains of Earth to build a new civilization and to help out SBURB players via computer commands. Once a simple farmer from the dark kingdom of Derse, WV gathered an army and lead a rebellion against the warmongering Black King. Unfortunately, this uprising failed, and all of the rebels but WV himself were wiped out. WV maintains an intense hatred of kings, along with a fervent love of democracy. Although WV is capable of great things, he is also rather silly and prone to fits of excessive imagination. After reading (and then eating) a book on human etiquette, WV is generally awkwardly polite, but when he gets worked up enough his manners go out the window and the caps-lock goes back on.
Note: WV, like the other exiles, has no spoken dialogue and is instead characterized by first-person commands entered into a computer and by second-person responses to “reader” commands. The latter will be used in this app.
Sample Post:
You are now a WAITING VOTEE.
You find this democratic method quite noble and worthy, never-the-less you are extremely nervous. What if they don’t like you? Should you have laundered your ratty attire and polished your carapace before coming? Well, it’s too late now.
>Skip this democratic voting process and proceed with Camp antics.
What? You cannot possibly violate the sanctity of democracy in that manner! The very idea makes you want to beat yourself in the head.
>Be the mayor of Corn Town.
... Well, you suppose as long as you will get back to the voting later, it can’t hurt to skip ahead just a bit.
You are now the mayor of Corn Town. Your loyal townsfolk, all a very pleasing shade of green, are already lined up in tidy rows. You like to imagine that they are standing so straight and tall out of respect for your authoritative figure, rather than because they are stalked vegetables. However, this picture perfect scene of orderly bliss doesn’t last for long.
A group of unkempt, partially decayed humans is approaching Corn Town. Their foul odor detracts from the town’s pleasant atmosphere, but you do not turn them away. After all, you are a mayor, not a king. The sight of unwashed masses inspires pity, rather than disgust. Their cries for “brains” are getting a bit repetitive, but you can respect their longing for higher education opportunities. As a concerned mayor, you would even consider putting such institutions in place if your primary citizens weren’t corn. Let’s not get carried away here; corn school would just be silly!
Unfortunately, it seems as though Corn Town’s new shambling citizens, unlike the peaceful vegetables, are most unruly. Stalks are bent, ripe ears are bruised and, worst of all, delightful bright green leaves are being sullied by slimy pus. One corpse man is even cracking corn. You will not stand for such behavior because, as an elected official, you really do care!
> Make the rules. Be the mayor.
You already are the mayor, and you will not stand for this sort of conduct! Being a responsible elected official, you quickly go about enacting various laws and ordinances which forbid the disruption of your corny citizens’ peaceful photosynthesis. Henceforth, all shambling shall be confined to open spaces. No dripping of foul bodily fluids within city limits. All groans will be restricted to under 20 decibels at all times.
However, it would seem that the unruly undead are undaunted. Their shambling, dripping and moaning goes unabated. Even flailing about in a distracting manner does nothing to deter them. You hate to doubt the power of democracy, but it would seem that there is nothing you can do; your citizens simply have no respect for your authority. Perhaps you are just a failure of a mayor... But wait, what’s this large-beaked bird doing here?
>Receive letter from Director.
You receive said letter and read (and consume) it immediately. According to the correspondence, you are only in charge of corn. All other camp citizens are ruled over by the Director herself. No wonder your new township is under siege from rabble-rousers. The surrounding area is under a brutal, un-democratic dictatorship! You are beginning to think you hate Directors almost as much as you hate kings.
Voting went here