what would you feel?
what would you feel is someone dear to you like your friend suddenly turns back against you?
what would you feel if some people started to pretend to be your friend only?
i dont get it. if anyone has grudges against me, please do tell me. i'm not pointing to anyone. I just feel someone or some people is/are holding grudges. I still remain optimistic. I don't even want to think about it, but I just cant help it. Maybe, I'm just lonely.
or am i just pessimistic?or is it only a freshie fever in which it is only an adjustment period? It might be because of my depression these past days.,
It has really been a rough start of the year for me. First, problems with friends. I just feel that some of them really do hold. Or is it only my negative point of view led to this massive downfall?
I am deeply sorry if I hurt anyone. I am sorry if I did something offensive. I am just depressed with what I heard last friday.
I am a chemistry student who plans to shift to bio on the same campus, which is diliman. From what I heard from the assistant of the college secretary, there are no slots available. They wont open any application! They wont accept any shiftees or transferees! This led to my depression, but I am still hoping they would change their minds. It is really impossible to think that there are no slots available. I mean, there are many students shifting out, but why are they saying that to us? Why are they ruining our dreams?!
Some of you may say, just transfer to another course. Quite easy to say, but hard to do. I am aspiring to become a great doctor. I should get courses which are really related to medicine. So far, in my mind.. biology, psychology, mbb(molecular biology and biotechnology) and courses in UP manila. These are my options. Bs bio is closed. For psych, I need 1.75 to be able to shift, but the fierce competition for the slots make it hard. MBB is also closed. My only choice left is UP manila. other schools are ok, but my parents want me to stay in UP.What will happen if I dont get accepted? I dont want to continue chem. My future is what I really think most.
Unity of opposites. When you think positive, you're also thinking negative. Just like pleasure and pain. No matter how I think optimistic, pessimism will always be there. I can do my best, but what if I dont get the required grade for shifting.
I do really have a lot of problems, dont I? it is because of freaking math 53(calculus) that makes my average slip down. I mean, math is ok, but it's just too complicated. I dont blame the teacher, but I just dont like the fact that we're ahead against the other sections. She gives us harder questions. Maybe, I just dont exert much effort. Gaah.
Now, if I shift to UP manila, I would leave diliman. The campus, the people I met, the foods .. I am going to leave them. I could always meet new people in manila, but my first friends in college is in diliman. Oh well. I am just perplexed right now. I couldnt really decide. It really made think too much because of these stuffs.
I am sorry if i said a lot. Some of you might dont understand. I'm just really bothered with a lot of stuffs. To everyone whom i hurt, sorry. I am just really troubled. I hope it wont affect my social life.
I hope to remain positive about my shifting process.