True to my word...

[waxlian_fur]

Ya know. I realized something today. It doesn't seem to matter what I say, or who I say it to, I'm always true to my word. I realized I can't be proud all the time. That I can't always be the perfect guy. I'm not perfect, nor do I ever hope to be. Yet...somehow...I know I'll strive for it. No matter how long it takes, no matter where it takes me, I'll get as close to it as I can. I think I'm a failure in so many ways, so many venues, that it's not even funny. My hygiene isn't that great, my room/house is a mess, I'm horrible with females, I've got a dead end job.

Where is my life going? Where am I leading myself? Will I ever know? Am I meant to know?

Those questions, I can't answer right now. But here's something I can tell you. I'm gonna make it. Come hell or high-fucking water, I'll be at the top of my game, whatever it is. I'm tired of sitting down here at the bottom of the totem pole waiting anxiously for the vultures above me to drop their rancid scraps. It's time to make a change. I've waited far to long, and I'm not waiting any longer.

For those who don't often see me, hopefully next time you do, I'll be a better man. For those that never see me, when and/or if you do, I'll live up to ever expectation you've had.

Thanks for all the support you all have given me. It means more then you could ever know...