Fic: How do I love thee? Part Two

[waxedpaperdoor]

I liked writing in this style so much that I wrote another part. This time it's from Lois's POV.


How do I love thee?

So much I can’t breathe, is the answer.

I don’t think I could stop loving you if I tried:

I’ve lost count of the ways that you make me fall for you every day.

I didn’t expect to find what I was looking for

Right under my nose.

Did you know I’ve been looking for you my whole life?

The first thing I see when I wake up,

And the last thing I think about at night,

Is your face -

Even when you’re not here.

You never really leave, so deeply have you found your way into my heart.

When did you become the most important thing in my world?

Your gentle eyes say so much -

I wish I could read everything in them.

I know you so well

Yet don’t know you at all.

When you said I couldn’t peg you,

You were right

(of course I won’t ever admit it).

Who would have guessed that you are my match?

The other half of my self?

You catch my eye across the desk

And melt my insides with a smile that matches the sun

In its light and warmth.

I lose myself in the twinkle in your eye.

You could ask me for anything

And I would give it to you without complaint -

Putting up a little protest, for appearance’s sake.

You didn’t ask for my heart

But I gave it to you all the same.

I thought someone else had taken your heart,

Only to discover, it was already mine.

You take all the broken parts of me

And gently mend them with a smile, a touch, a look.

You tell me you love me

And then show me how much.

Sometimes you say it without words.

You say I am the centre of your world:

My past self would have rolled my eyes and dismissed such sentimental nonsense -

My present self hugs you tighter and never wants to let go.

I fall asleep on top of you

On the couch that has so many memories of us,

Listening to the steady beat of your heart.

I can see my future laid out in front of me, me here with you, getting old and grey.

The thought frightens me for a moment -

Me who is always on the run, never putting down roots, never staying long enough.

Then your arms tighten just a little in your sleep

And I know I am safe.

A future with you is what I want.

I had a dream once.

You were broken and bleeding and dying on a street somewhere,

But you looked at me like I was the most beautiful person in the world.

With that familiar sense of absolute certainty, you told me I would see you again.

I told you about the dream, how it frightened me the way nothing else ever did,

And you said “I’m sorry you had to see that, Lois”,

As though it was your fault for being who you are, even in that futuristic dystopia.

Your shoulders are broad,

Already burdened with the cares of the world.

I didn’t want to add mine

But you took them from me without question.

What are you to me?

You are so many things -

Sunshine, home, life, light, mine,

And always, always, Smallville.

I built so many walls around my heart.

Others tried to get through them with a hammer -

You used a smile and a doughnut

And all my walls crumbled into dust.

Finally, I was free to be me.

I kept my memories and thoughts and feelings to myself.

Then you came, and I wanted to tell you every single thing.

You always listen to me, no matter what I say.

You remember everything too -

This means I can’t win an argument with you.

You let me anyway.

You even listen to me when I say nothing.

You are tall and strong, kindness and loyalty running through your veins.

I used to rely on myself for strength, not trusting anyone else.

Then I leaned on you

And found myself, not falling or bending, but standing upright.

I can face the world because you have my back -

When it turns on me, you are there to protect me.

I never thought I might need a shield.

Years ago you told me about Orion, the mighty hunter,

On one of many nights we spent stargazing at the farm.

Orion, brave and fearless, who could walk on water and was healed by the sun -

I never told you then, but I thought of you in that way.

Like Orion’s star, you shine.

Your light illuminates sides of me I didn’t know I had.

Though strong, you are gentle: brave, yet humble: successful, yet modest -

A study in contrasts between what you are, and who you are.

You make me love you more and more.

You are generous with everything you have, with everything in you: so giving, so selfless.

I used to balk at being given presents:

Oliver was lavish with his money, but never himself.

You give me your whole self,

I don’t need anything else.

A plaid shirt, a new CD, a kiss -

I treasure all your gifts, more than you realise.

You took the list of things I wanted:

Ice cream and chalupas, picnics in the park, dancing in the rain, a monster truck rally,

Making sure I got every single one of them and so much more besides.

The army brat who always travelled light has become the woman who hoards memories and plants herself just here, right beside you.

You have changed too

(I like to think I have something to do with that)

But you are still the same, ever faithful and constant.

We met crashing into each other.

Love came slowly, quietly, all-consuming,

Bending our thoughts towards each other.

Before you

I thought I knew what love, pain, happiness, fear were.

But now:

The pain when I saw you with someone else, long ago,

Was almost crippling in its intensity, breaking my heart into little pieces.

The fear when you don’t come home is black, dreadful, overpowering.

The love I feel as you take me to greater heights of passion is incredible, earth-shattering, mind-blowing.

The happiness when you look into my eyes sparkles like sunlight on water.

Everything is different, better, more with you.

Sometimes you go places that I can’t follow, but I don’t feel left behind:

You promised me you would always come back.

And just like you promised, you always do.

Wherever I am, you are there with me.

How do I love thee?

Always, my knight.