(no subject)
I've just poured my heart out to the woman I love. I don't know if she'll change her mind, if she'll feel the same way that I do. But that sort of isn't the point.
The point is that when Amari broke up with me I thought there was nothing that I could do. I was part right, because you can't have a relationship with only one person. If she's decided we can't be together, then we really can't. But I can still fight for her, I can still make my case and let her know that I still carry her torch. No matter what happens, that's what I can do.
These last few months have been strange for me. I've been working hard, getting things in order and accomplishing my goals. I went to the US social forum in Detroit and met many wonderful people. I learned a ton. I've been reading books by the dozens and improving myself. I've focused on my magick practice and grown in leaps and bounds.
But I've been ignoring my feelings for Amari, the feelings that haven't changed or decreased in intensity at all. I didn't want to indulge them because I figured that I would be dwelling. I was also afraid of their intensity, afraid that I would drown in them.
Again, I missed the point. Love hurts sometimes, especially when things are going badly. But if I refuse to feel what I feel, then I refuse to go through my process and move on. Maybe moving on means getting back together, maybe it doesn't. Either way, I had to say what I had to say or I would never be ok with the result.
*crosses fingers*
The point is that when Amari broke up with me I thought there was nothing that I could do. I was part right, because you can't have a relationship with only one person. If she's decided we can't be together, then we really can't. But I can still fight for her, I can still make my case and let her know that I still carry her torch. No matter what happens, that's what I can do.
These last few months have been strange for me. I've been working hard, getting things in order and accomplishing my goals. I went to the US social forum in Detroit and met many wonderful people. I learned a ton. I've been reading books by the dozens and improving myself. I've focused on my magick practice and grown in leaps and bounds.
But I've been ignoring my feelings for Amari, the feelings that haven't changed or decreased in intensity at all. I didn't want to indulge them because I figured that I would be dwelling. I was also afraid of their intensity, afraid that I would drown in them.
Again, I missed the point. Love hurts sometimes, especially when things are going badly. But if I refuse to feel what I feel, then I refuse to go through my process and move on. Maybe moving on means getting back together, maybe it doesn't. Either way, I had to say what I had to say or I would never be ok with the result.
*crosses fingers*