as;dlkfj i have 123091 mixed thoughts/feelings about this movie. like the production design and acting were SO GOOD but then there were these moments of total awfulness?? i actually hadn't thought very much about the religion stuff (which is probably just as well because i'm a hardened atheist skeptic) but this post is making me :////// all over the place.
one thing i was puzzled by was the Engineer alien going berserk. like, he was infected with Alien evil zombie serum, right??? because for a while when i was watching the movie it seemed like he was just crazy-evil and/or the Engineers in general were hell-bent on murder, but then he went and made sweet love to a carnivorous tentacle vagina so it seemed like his main goals were a) kill everything, and b) get impregnated with the first of the Xenomorphs?
oh! and the bit where idris elba was hitting on vickers and vickers was like, "meet me in 10 for some angry emotionless Romulan sex" was pretty bizarre as well because it seemed like he was basically kind of harassing her, BUT that he was also meant to be one of the more relatable characters. so when she was all "yeah, totes, let's go bang in my bed of suppressed daddy-issues and diamonds" it seemed like there was no payoff because it didn't quite come off as her being sexually aggressive/confident, AND there was no alternate option (ie her being like, "no, actually i'm punking you -- there's no fucking way you're getting to touch the merchandise after those half-hearted pickup lines). it was more like a really poorly thought out reason for them not to be watching the monitors while shit went down planetside.
in conclusion, my actual review of this is going to be about a billion words long because it was such a bizarre mix of SUPER AWESOME and bafflingly cheesy/bad. especially that pre-credits scene, about which i'm fairly sure you already share my opinions.
that captain/vickers scene! I kept being like, 'wait, are they already fucking? they are, right, or this would make no sense... but... what... wait... oh forget it.' I had no idea what the purpose of the whole thing was, indeed.
the pre-credits scene, I can't even. for one, it makes no sense that I can come up with. I feel like I need to watch again just to see if I missed some crucial clue as to what the fuck, you know? to the tone of when is this? who is that? what the fuck is he doing? DID HE MEAN TO DO THAT? where is the ship going? in fact, is the ship coming or going? what does it have to do with Jesus? that doesn't look like the fucking banks of the fucking river Jordan if you know what I'm saying. FILM MAKERS THAT IS NOT HOW FUCKING DNA WORKS STOP MAKING IT LOOK LIKE IT'S MADE OF LEGOS.
wrt the Engineer alien going berserk... well, David spoke to him, and I think the idea was that David decided to fuck humanity and love the bomb? I don't know, I guess he told the dude his mother was a hamster and his father smelt of elderberries. or something! however, I could be wrong, and I can't tell if David meant for the engineer to wring his neck like a chicken--I mean, after that he got awfully anxious about being alone! I just can't tell. either I need to watch again or the movie needed at least one thing to make sense.
oh, and another thing that I wanted to kill with fire: POOR GUY PEARCE. aging makeup NEVER WORKS. when will they learn? why the fuck would they cast Guy Pearce to play the hundred year old version of a character that only appears in full Guy Pearce-ness IN A PROMO VIDEO. Charlize gimme dat flamethrower I need to set fire to some latex masks.
and still there were some bits that were so awesome! this movie would make a great fanvid sequence. oh, you know, the bit where Vickers shoves David against a wall and Fassbender manages not to blink for about five minutes? I admit I was aroused. I love robots!
SCREAM, GUY PEARCE. this bothered me ALL THE WAY THRU because i assumed it meant he was going to be de-aged at some point? like by magical alien shit or something? BUT HE WASN'T!! they should've just hired a young unknown to do the TED talk and hired and old guy to play him in the movie. an unknown might actually have been more effective for the TED talk anyway! RIDICULOUS.
why did david poison noomi rapace's douchey boyfriend? curiosity??
I kept wishing for David to just choke that old busybody from the second I saw him.
Hmm, well, David knew what the poison did, as he could read the inscriptions. So I imagine, depending on how much detail the Engineers had figured out/decided to write on the walls, that he either just wanted to see what would happen or wanted to get Noomi pregnant with Engineer demon seed via douchey bf. He did have that little chat with Holloway before he decided. I can't remember exactly what was said, but 'because we could' wasn't even the decision point, it was sth like 'what would you do to find out blah blah blah?' and Holloway saying 'anything and everything.' So David was trying to find out something about his origin (or ours? idk), is what I could subtext-spelunk out of that. What, though.
as;dlkfj i have 123091 mixed thoughts/feelings about this movie. like the production design and acting were SO GOOD but then there were these moments of total awfulness?? i actually hadn't thought very much about the religion stuff (which is probably just as well because i'm a hardened atheist skeptic) but this post is making me :////// all over the place.
one thing i was puzzled by was the Engineer alien going berserk. like, he was infected with Alien evil zombie serum, right??? because for a while when i was watching the movie it seemed like he was just crazy-evil and/or the Engineers in general were hell-bent on murder, but then he went and made sweet love to a carnivorous tentacle vagina so it seemed like his main goals were a) kill everything, and b) get impregnated with the first of the Xenomorphs?
oh! and the bit where idris elba was hitting on vickers and vickers was like, "meet me in 10 for some angry emotionless Romulan sex" was pretty bizarre as well because it seemed like he was basically kind of harassing her, BUT that he was also meant to be one of the more relatable characters. so when she was all "yeah, totes, let's go bang in my bed of suppressed daddy-issues and diamonds" it seemed like there was no payoff because it didn't quite come off as her being sexually aggressive/confident, AND there was no alternate option (ie her being like, "no, actually i'm punking you -- there's no fucking way you're getting to touch the merchandise after those half-hearted pickup lines). it was more like a really poorly thought out reason for them not to be watching the monitors while shit went down planetside.
in conclusion, my actual review of this is going to be about a billion words long because it was such a bizarre mix of SUPER AWESOME and bafflingly cheesy/bad. especially that pre-credits scene, about which i'm fairly sure you already share my opinions.
Reply
the pre-credits scene, I can't even. for one, it makes no sense that I can come up with. I feel like I need to watch again just to see if I missed some crucial clue as to what the fuck, you know? to the tone of when is this? who is that? what the fuck is he doing? DID HE MEAN TO DO THAT? where is the ship going? in fact, is the ship coming or going? what does it have to do with Jesus? that doesn't look like the fucking banks of the fucking river Jordan if you know what I'm saying. FILM MAKERS THAT IS NOT HOW FUCKING DNA WORKS STOP MAKING IT LOOK LIKE IT'S MADE OF LEGOS.
wrt the Engineer alien going berserk... well, David spoke to him, and I think the idea was that David decided to fuck humanity and love the bomb? I don't know, I guess he told the dude his mother was a hamster and his father smelt of elderberries. or something! however, I could be wrong, and I can't tell if David meant for the engineer to wring his neck like a chicken--I mean, after that he got awfully anxious about being alone! I just can't tell. either I need to watch again or the movie needed at least one thing to make sense.
oh, and another thing that I wanted to kill with fire: POOR GUY PEARCE. aging makeup NEVER WORKS. when will they learn? why the fuck would they cast Guy Pearce to play the hundred year old version of a character that only appears in full Guy Pearce-ness IN A PROMO VIDEO. Charlize gimme dat flamethrower I need to set fire to some latex masks.
and still there were some bits that were so awesome! this movie would make a great fanvid sequence. oh, you know, the bit where Vickers shoves David against a wall and Fassbender manages not to blink for about five minutes? I admit I was aroused. I love robots!
Reply
why did david poison noomi rapace's douchey boyfriend? curiosity??
Reply
Hmm, well, David knew what the poison did, as he could read the inscriptions. So I imagine, depending on how much detail the Engineers had figured out/decided to write on the walls, that he either just wanted to see what would happen or wanted to get Noomi pregnant with Engineer demon seed via douchey bf. He did have that little chat with Holloway before he decided. I can't remember exactly what was said, but 'because we could' wasn't even the decision point, it was sth like 'what would you do to find out blah blah blah?' and Holloway saying 'anything and everything.' So David was trying to find out something about his origin (or ours? idk), is what I could subtext-spelunk out of that. What, though.
Reply
Leave a comment