It was bound to happen...
I finally made myself leave the apartment yesterday afternoon because I hadn't been able to eat much of the day. (the roommies were home and CUJO was out and about, so no cooking for me) I grabbed some food at Boston Market, because it's mildly healthy and then ran over to CVS to put some things on a giftcard that I got for transferring a
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But accept it. It is real, and you are doing him a great dishonor by moping about it. You can't compete with his party last year but you had every intention of doing so before he passed away and I suggest you do everything you can this year to TRY anyhow. He led an excellent life and affected a lot of people and regardless of his tattoo work he left other, more permanent marks on others.
What happened to him was sudden and tragic. Out of Nowhere. Doesn't sound like he ever saw it coming.
Earlier this month a man named Robin Brewer, not a friend of mine but someone I had met from time to time passed away after almost 2 years of struggling with Stomach Cancer. This is another man who led an excellent life and touched almost everyone he ever met and inspired many more. He was a cyclist and avid supporter of the Lance Armstrong Foundation before he was even diagnosed and continued to do what he loved with a cause even after hae had his stomach removed.
His friends watched him die for months and when he passed on they threw him the classic Irish Wake, Viking Funeral and New Orleans Parade all rolled into one to celebrate his life and be happy they ever knew him.
You can let the fact you had something good in your life taken away from you suddenly rule you, stubbornly going on and doing the exact oppisite of what he would wwant you to do...
Or You can count your blessings that you had his friendship, that you knew him even for a such a short time in the grand scheme of things and proceed to have the best fucking birthday party the guy ever had, with or without him. I'm sure that'll amuse the shit out of him wherever he is.
I'm not saying not to mourn. I'm suggesting there are better ways to mourn instead. Just my .02 cents.
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What is important is not the future where the person you love is dead, but the past where he is always alive. I spent a long time cursing the phrase "celebrate their lives, not their death" before I realized that doing so is the only way to mourn without being self destructive.
For me, every time I see Jim's ink on my arm I try to think, "I'm so DAMN lucky I got to meet him when I did."
PS
I'm not sure I know you, Panzerbane, but I am sorry to hear about your friend's battle with cancer. That is a harsh way to go. My sincere sympathies there. Sounds like you remember the best of him.
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