Fic- star-crossed wires (part 1)

[watery_weasel]

 
 MASTER POST

Tommy had been doing better too. That’s what everybody had seemed to think of him, his counselors and cabin mates, he’d been doing well at Camp Half- Blood. Better, at least, compared to every other place in his life. Of course, that didn’t say much about what his life had been before- just another angry, sullen teenage runaway, hardened around the edges and carrying all of his life in a tattered black backpack.

He’d been doing good though, even self-admittedly, because he had finally been in a place where things made sense. Where he finally had answers even for the questions he didn’t know he had wanted to ask.

Like why had trouble been imprinted in him since the day he was born. He had an answer now, because he was a modern day teenage demigod, and as weird as that was...the information had slotted into his head, filling in the blank spaces, the plot holes in his life story.

Son of Apollo, they called him. That was something he wore with pride, finally a role he’d fit into the same way he fit into the camp. It explained the notebooks full of chicken-scratch poetry and how music was the only language he was fluent in.

He had friends for the first time too, like Monte, who was only a few years older than Tommy’s own 16 years but had been at the Camp something like forever and was Head of Apollo cabin. Mia too, who was feisty and a little crazy and was every inch the party girl Daughter of Dionysus. Yeah, things had been really good. He had been good, until Adam Lambert showed up, escorted, a little bloody and bruised but grinning over the crest of Half Blood Hill with his guardian satyr Kris in tow.

Tommy had been sweeping the porch of the main house, after taking part of the fall for one of Dave’s pranks the first time they met. Tommy had never been attracted to a boy before at least not that way. It had never been beyond an acknowledgment another guy is hot, maybe a bit of curiosity, but Adam was like a punch to the gut, sudden lust and attraction making his stomach tighten like he was going to throw up.

Adam had sat on the porch while his satyr had gone inside, no doubt informing Chiron, the camp director, of their new arrival.

“I’m sorry, I’m bleeding all over your clean porch.” Adam had said, still smiling, his eyes vibrantly blue, looking like a bruised hero, clutching the tattered sleeve of his shirt to the gash in his arm. He looked more handsome than any demigod had a right to look fresh from a fight. Body shimmering with a sheen of sweat under the rich colors of the vibrant sunset, that had sunk below half blood hill casting the sky in reds and purples.

“Fuck it, it’s not my porch.” Tommy said, grinning as he leaned against the broom handle, trying not to look scrawny and sullen and awkward.

“Well, no worries then.” He said, smiling easily at him, like he couldn’t be more content to be there, thick little drops of blood dripping from his arm, and Tommy thought, this one is different.

He reached out for Adam when he winced in pain, pressing the makeshift bandage a little more firmly to his skin.

“Let me help?” Tommy had asked and Adam had frowned a moment before pulling the scraps of cloth away. Tommy pressed his flat palm against the cut and thought hard, let his power surge through him, up from his core like a heat wave from deep inside. He was still new at the whole healing powers thing, but he wasn’t so bad.

“Couple harpies caught us as we were coming up to the hill.” Adam said, and Tommy didn’t know what to make of him looking into his eyes, so intent, focused.

“You gave the bitches hell I hope?” Tommy asked him, pulling his hand away, feeling a rush of pride at seeing that pale skin knitted back together, Adam’s arm and palm of his hand smeared in shocking red.

“I’m more a lover than a fighter but...I think I did alright.” Tommy had a feeling it was better than alright but he just smiled, feeling warm wet of blood on his hand and feeling very close to this damn near stranger.

“Sorry, must be the blood loss making me rude. I’m Adam.”

“Tommy Joe...son of Apollo.” He added, because divine heritage becomes part of your identity, how you label yourself.

Then of course Kris, Adam’s satyr, was back. His hoofs made a soft clomp-clomp on the old wood porch as he gestured for Adam to follow him inside, probably to get a proper greeting from Chiron and Mr. D.

“It was nice to meet you, Tommy Joe. And...thank you.” Adam said gently touching his arm where the cut had been before, a hint of awe in his tone.

From that moment, Tommy just knew that things were changed, like there was heavy ozone in the air, like a storm about to break. But instead of being scared, he was exhilarated, anxious, waiting on it.

It wasn’t that things were bad with Adam there. No, Tommy wouldn’t ever say that, because what it becomes later, why it hurts, that wasn’t Adam’s fault.

Adam ends up in Cabin 11, the Hermes Cabin, the temporary stop where all the unclaimed demigods end up. It’s where they stay until their God parent claims them as their blood. For how long depends, some get claimed within days. With others, well it can be months sometimes years of not knowing. Some never get claimed, there aren’t many of those, but they all have the same look, a quiet tightness, a pinch in their face, hard glint of bitterness in their eyes.

Tommy called them the forgotten and he hoped from the beginning that Adam wouldn’t end up as one of them.

Over the next few days they exchanged a handful of precious glances, little smiles at their lessons and from across the crowded dinner tables. Tommy learned, from talk and observation, that Adam was 16 like him, that he was passable with a sword but better with a crossbow, and that, as a general rule, Adam avoided fights. Like when Danny, being a typical Son of Ares, tried to start something with one of the younger kids from Hermes cabin and somehow, Adam had made him retreat back to his own table like a scolded puppy.

Overall, Tommy didn’t know what to make of Adam after that first week, but he didn’t stop looking, and Adam, he noted, kept looking back.

The next time they actually talked wasn’t until late one day, after the bonfire and camp sing along. All of the younger kids had been shepherded off to the cabins and only a few clusters of campers remained, huddled into small pockets, talking over the dying flickers of the firelight.

Adam had been talking with a group of people from the Aphrodite cabin, Brooke and Terrence among them, and other campers Tommy knew by face but not name. Well, had been talking to them, until he’d slipped away at some point and reappeared on the bench beside Tommy sidled in close, so Tommy felt the heat of Adam all along his leg, from hip to foot. Somehow hotter than the waves of heat off the campfire, in a way that made Tommy’s skin prickle with sweat.

“I should have figured you played guitar.” Adam said, eyes tinged dark and wicked by the dancing hues of the campfire, dim oranges and yellows made his face golden.

Tommy had nodded, ducked his head and smiled as he tightened his loose hold on the guitar sprawled across his lap, he often played for the sing-alongs, him and Monte, of course.

“Yeah, I have that look about me right?” Tommy asked him, using his free hand to push back the bright blond fringe of his hair. “Probably the eyeliner...or ya know, the nail polish.” He said, somehow managed to say it around the tight ball of excitement lodged in his throat at Adam’s presence.

“I’ve always been attracted to musicians.” Adam said softly, then had realized how that sounded and ducked his own gaze, laughing at himself with a sheepish smile, rubbing his fingers across the back of his neck. “Not like, you know, attracted like that.” He mumbled, less like the mysterious hero like figure he’d seemed last week with that tinge of pink on his cheeks.

“But drawn to.” He corrected, though Tommy was a little more fascinated with the play of shadow and light across his face than his words. He was just fucking beautiful. His body broad and solid looking, like those statues of what demigods were supposed to look like. Nothing like Tommy himself, scrawny and skinny, all bones and sharp angles, delicate features.

Tommy wanted to press their naked bodies together in the dark, paint himself onto Adam and see if they fit together like he thought they might, hard bone slotting with soft muscle. Something divine in him loves the sense of poetry in the contradiction of it.

“You know what I mean?” Adam finally asked, and Tommy jumped, blushing at having been caught staring so intently.

“Oh um...yeah, yeah definitely.” Tommy said fumbling for words and half hiding behind the long fringe of his hair, the best shield he had when it came to being social. “Sometimes I think that...you know, music is the only thing that makes sense in the world.” Tommy whispered.

“I get that.” Adam said softly, his voice soft and somber, like the sad melody of a music box, almost lost under the warm crack-snap of the dying bonfire.

Just for a second, Tommy saw a flash of something sad and regretful in Adam’s eyes. As cool as being a little bit divine is, it also kind of sucks, the weight of anticipated heroism, the need to keep running, keep running or fight, hunted by one monster or another, and they never stop fucking coming, he remembered with the too-familiar burn of griffin scratches long since healed across the expanse of his back.

“Anyway.” Adam said, the look blinked away. “Even when shit was like...going crazy. When I was trying to juggle puberty and figure out being a demi-god. No matter how bad I felt, I could still sing and it just, that still made sense and, it made me feel better. I guess. More like Adam and less like this person that, was supposed to be capable of these otherworldly things .” He said, sighing.

“I mean, I just don’t get it.” He admitted softly. “I’m not fucking Batman. I’m not a hero, and I don’t want to be. I never asked for it. I just want to live to see my high school graduation.” Adam added, managing a laugh.

Tommy settled his hand half on top of Adam’s where it was picking invisible lint from his thigh and lightly brushed his thumb across the soft knuckles. “You’re totally more badass than Batman.” Tommy said, before he grinned wide and nudged their shoulders together, their laughter getting carried off by the breeze off the sound.

The thing about a new camper in such a small camp is that there is always curiosity. Nobody has ever heard of privacy, not at Camp Half Blood, so naturally there was a camp wide betting pool on Adam’s heritage. That was the first time he’d worried, hell, the first time he’d even stopped to think about it, when he’d seen all those gold drachmas neatly stacked over the label ‘Apollo’.

Adam wasn’t his brother though, he’d reminded himself, that just wasn’t possible. So he’d swallowed the bile at the back of his throat and thrown a couple drachmas into the ‘Aphrodite’ pile. Then he’d forgotten about it, because it wasn’t important.

Adam found him two days later by accident, sitting out on the sandy dunes while he watched waves crash an endless rhythm on the shore of long island sound. Crash-swish-crash. Each wave breaking like an exhale, each drawing back of the water into the next wave like an inhale, and the rhythm is soothing. Well, then again, that might be the pot, Tommy wasn’t sure.

It was after midnight, and the full moon cast blue-silver light on the beach made everything ethereal and beautiful.

“I see you really are the Camp bad boy, huh?” Adam said, skin looking flawless in the moonlight.

Tommy laughed, smoke blowing out of his lips and dancing around his face. “Oh yeah, the worst. The boy your Mama warned you about.”

Adam laughed in return as he settled down into the dunes with him. He didn’t need an invitation, Tommy was sure he never would, not if those fucking butterflies in his gut had anything to say about it.Tommy liked Adam’s company--Adam was all smiles and chatter and life, which balanced well with Tommy’s tendency for quiet, his occasional sullen moods.

“I think I’ll take my chances.” Adam said while he stretched his long legs in front of him and leaned back into the palms of his hands.

“So maybe not as good as rumor has it then?” Tommy asked when he leaned toward Adam and more into his space, but Adam didn’t back back off. He just met his eyes with a little bemused grin.

“Not nearly as good.” He replied, a meaningful lift to one dark brow, breath warm on Tommy’s face.

Tommy was really stoned at that point, because the shit Mia grows is fucking quality, and Tommy is pretty sure that it could knock a chimera on it’s fucking ass. So yeah, he’s mellow, loose limbed and didn’t have a care in the world. Still a shiver of dark pleasure worked it’s way down his spine and settled in his gut, like a spark igniting a powder keg.

Adam was flirting. Adam was flirting and so so close. His eyelashes impossibly long and face pale, flawed with hints of healed pimples and so many freckles.

He’s only seen Adam in half light; that, or at a distance so he’d missed the freckles, the flaws...the fucking normalcy of it. Something about Adam from that first day had just been huge, larger than life, something that went on a pedestal for admiration. Now Tommy knows, he’s just Adam, just another camper, confused, new, trying to figure it out, the same way they all are or had been.

He’s just Adam, but Tommy is no less attracted, no less breathless for that fact.

“Bad enough to want a hit?” Tommy asked, realizing he’d been staring at him a moment, but Adam hadn’t seemed to mind, like he’d forgotten they were talking beyond the conversation of flashing heat back and forth as they met each other’s eyes.

Tommy isn’t one to share his stash usually, cause Mia supplies him special and the fewer people that know about the it the better, but it’s Adam and there is no way he can’t offer. Not with Adam huddled into the sand with him, they’re almost wrapped around each other, nestled into the dunes like it’s a nature made nest for the two of them.

“You’re actually gonna share with me?” Adam asked him, mouth quirked in a half grin and still so close, close enough that above the thick smell of pot he can catch hints of Adam’s scent, clean shampoo and undertones of sweat and sin. He smells like horny teenage boy and that fact twists in Tommy’s belly and it makes him bold.

Tommy just grinned as he sucked in another hit, slender joint pinched delicately in his long fingers. He reached up, non-dominant hand caressing against Adam’s neck, curved his fingers around the nape, twisting at the short strands of hair. He tugged Adam in those last few inches and sealed their slightly open mouths together.

Tommy’s eyelids fluttered shut as he exhaled, tasting thick mellow pot smoke as a few wisps escape, curling up around their faces in translucent plumes. Adam breathes in his exhale, stealing hot dry smoke and all the air out of Tommy, leaving him breathless, clinging with a sharp twist of his fingers to Adam’s hair, moaning oh-so-soft in the back of his throat as he forced himself to relax and slide away. He settled back into the sand as he watched Adam breath out the second hand smoke, lazy and slow, expression sexy and satisfied, smirking at him in invitation.

The fuck with the joint! Tommy thought as he crushed out the stub of joint into the sand beside his knee, he’d rather get high off Adam’s mouth, his tongue, his kisses. Tommy made the move but Adam met him right in the middle, caught him up into his arms as Tommy licked his way into Adam’s hot generous mouth.

The kiss is lazy, wet and slow, deep and open and dirty, all tongue and lips but edged with something sharp and needy underneath. Something that Tommy can almost taste as he swallows down the low rumble of contentment from Adam. By the time he pulled away he was half in Adam’s lap, not sure how he got there, high as a kite and thoroughly kissed.

They ended up curled on their sides in the sand, looking at each other and exchanging kisses that were more smoke than fire, passionate but lacking the urgency of needing more. It stayed leisurely and lazy, sweet licks against each other’s teeth, hands skimming everywhere, dipping just under the hem of cotton t-shirts.

“This should totally be weird.” Tommy murmured eventually, between little kisses that are teasing, breaking up the words of his sentence and making him stammer and giggle.

“Why should it be weird?” Adam asked, quiet, serious. His hand splayed wide on Tommy’s hip, thumb hooked just under the warm cotton of his shirt, pressing into that too-thin sensitive skin stretched just beside the sharp jut of his bone. Tommy wonders if Adam can feel the rapid hummingbird pace of his heart there, if he can feel the vibration in the pad of his thumb, like the hum of a strummed guitar string.

“I’ve never; with a guy.” Tommy replied, eyes lowered slightly, it maybe should feel weird, but it doesn’t, not at all. Tommy is a lone wolf kind, not anti-social but he’s worried that he might need Adam far too much, far too fast. Tommy is used to people leaving ‘cause that’s what people do but already he never wants Adam to go. “Also, I kind of...barely know you, when I think about it.”

“What else do you need to know to make it not totally weird?” Adam asked him, voice teasingly mocking but his eyes all big and earnest and wanting to please. Tommy had a feeling that if he asked Adam would tell him the absolute truth of the universe, if he knew it himself.

“Everything?” Tommy hazarded, unsure laughter coloring his voice. It’s true though, he wants to know everything. If Adam were a book he’d be the only one Tommy wanted to read cover to cover, to know every truth of. The good and the bad and the fucked up, all of it.

Adam did laugh at that, warm and honey sweet, Tommy could listen to his joy forever, like an endless looping play-list on his iPod. Not that he had time to think about it, his head sort of stuttered to a stop when Adam rolled over on top of him, knees sinking into the sand on either side of Tommy’s hips.

“I love how specific you are.” Adam says, grinning bright, lopsided and boyish. Tommy just shrugs, looking innocent.

“So pick something and just talk about it.” Tommy said, voice hushed. The moment feels intimate, private, it steals the moisture out of his mouth, makes it hard to talk. “Family?”

Adam gets a little far away smile and when he talks again the fondness is clear and tangible. “My family...is awesome, I miss them like, all the time.” Adam confesses and Tommy could see that flash of sad again. He didn’t say anything, just waits, eyes eager and gently prompting for more.

“I have a little brother, Neil and he’s a sarcastic little shit, ya know?” Adam sighed, amusement clear before continuing. “My Dad is just like, really chill, easy to talk to, weirdly zen about things. He also has pretty much the best record collection ever, I used to spend hours in the basement just picking out random vinyls ‘cause the covers looked badass and just listening to them...trying to memorize them all. It’s weird, he always got super proud when I would sing something from his collection. Sometimes I would learn these songs I didn’t even like because he’d grin and ruffle my hair say I was the best coolest son but not to tell Neil, cause he’d get jealous.” Adam said, mouth smiling, eyes far away in memory before he blushed slightly, like he remembered Tommy was there and shook his head a little, catching his brown eyes again.

“I know. I’m sentimental and lame, it’s ok, I own that, you can tell me so.”

“No, keep going. I like hearing you talk.” Tommy said, cheeks pink in return because Tommy could listen to Adam talk about nothing and not be bored. Adam lights up when he talks, not like Tommy who tends to close up, drift further inward cause it’s hard to say everything he means.

“Anyway, my mom is...” Adam trailed off before releasing a big heavy breath, love making his eyes a little wet, full of emotion. “I think her heart is too big for her chest. She just...she loves so much. It’s beautiful, people who care that much.” Adam said, biting his lip, faltering and Tommy can just sense this is equal parts hard and wonderful, talking about his mother. So his hand catches Adam’s, slips their fingers together with a squeeze, quiet and supportive. “She just accepts people, just like they are.” Adam said softly and Tommy can feel how grateful Adam is for her. He wished he could meet her, cause to Tommy she sounds amazing.

“I love her. All of them really, even my little brother.” Adam said laughing.

“That’s why I had to go.” His voice gone all somber, that sad and sort of broken look in his eyes.

“Why?” Tommy whispered, slowly sliding his fingers from where they’re curled between Adam’s matching their hands together, pressing palm to palm, sweaty and real.

“My mom told me a while ago, that I wasn’t you know, human.” Adam said softly. “It only got worse after I knew. With the monsters, I mean. More incidents, attacks, close calls, like...really close.” Adam said, something dark in his memory making him frown. “Me and Neil almost died and still, they wanted me to stay. Even though I was dangerous to be around, it’s like they didn’t mind being collateral damage and I just...I couldn’t, ya know?” Adam said, something quiet breaking in his voice, a little hitch in his breath, tears sticking in his black lashes.

“I couldn’t put them in danger anymore, I needed to be able to defend myself, my family. I needed to be a real demigod I figured, or else,” He paused, eyes closing and opening again. “Or else I would never be able to stay there with them. I couldn’t let myself.” He admitted, breath shuddering in and out. In and out.

Tommy can’t even take the open pain in his voice, the trust Adam has in him, he can’t even hear it because it hurts that good, as he leans up, palms in the sand and matches their lips together. Tender and comforting, Tommy doesn’t know what to say, but that doesn’t mean he can’t do, and do he does. This kiss is nothing like the first, it’s unsure, shaky, like a newborn colt that doesn’t trust it’s legs but it’s sweet and it leaves them both wide eyed and staring,Tommy shyly and Adam wondrous, like he doesn’t believe any of this is real.

Adam just rested, his forehead pressed to Tommy’s and they breathed open-mouthed in sync, not quite kissing, gathering themselves back together. Like they’re each silently gluing their broken pieces back unto the core of who they are, like that will somehow hide the cracks.

“So...what about you? Family?” Adam asked, voice more steady, warm and prompting, just as curious as Tommy.

Tommy shrugged, eyes darting away, quick and evasive. “Everybody has a family. I mean...I didn’t spring out of sea-foam or anything.” Tommy said, covering with enough humor, even though he knows Adam won’t buy it. He feels bad, trying to hide after Adam cracked himself open for Tommy, showed him his battle scars, and not the ones that are written into his freckled skin.

“I ran away.” Tommy says suddenly, collapsing back into the sand, getting lost in the stars twinkling in the solid dark blanket of the sky. He wondered how long it might take to count them, wondered if he’d forget how much this hurt to talk about by the time he’d finished. “It’s not like my family was bad.” He said, quickly enough. “They loved me and all, I knew that.” He said softly, meeting Adam’s eyes and he doesn’t see pity, just quiet curiosity, understanding. Somehow, that makes it harder.

“I also knew they resented me too, because nothing was ever easy with me. Not at the beginning, or the middle or the end. I was always in trouble and moody and I wouldn’t be able to talk to them. Sometimes I’d just sulk in my room for a whole weekend writing bad poetry.” Tommy said his smile brittle, a paper thin bandage over a deep infected gash.

“I mean...who’d want to have to take care of a little snot like me right?” He asked Adam softly. “So I just figured...I could take care of myself anyway, spare them the trouble. I ran, and I found my way here and I just...never left.” He said softly, feeling fragile, broken open for Adam in a way he hates being, in a way that leaves him exposed, but Adam still isn’t looking at him with pity, his eyes are just warm, accepting.

“I’m like...basically the world’s worst house-crasher.” He said, covering with humor, cause laughing is easier, much much easier than crying.

“Thank you for telling me.” Adam’s voice was quiet, serious in the aftermath of emotion, his smile grateful as he leans over Tommy, crowding into his space but Tommy doesn’t mind.

“Whatever. I mean, it isn’t like a secret or anything.” That’s true, it isn’t a secret, never really has been, everyone at Camp basically knows everybody else's story. At the same time though, it isn’t something he talks about.

Tommy doesn’t say anything after, just curls his fingers into Adam’s shirt and tugs him down enough to meet those freckled lips again, mouth caught open and moaning when Adam presses him down into the sand and takes things Tommy didn’t know he wanted to give.

They became a thing. It isn’t something they talked about or labeled, but they were something like boyfriends and even though June wasn’t even over, Tommy is already thinking that this summer, this summer is going to be the best one yet.

Camp Half-Blood is so not the best place for romance though, the days are jammed from morning til dusk with training and activities. Buried under the fun of endless summer days are the lessons they need to learn, the only shit that will help keep them alive out there in the real world if any of them hope to live something like a normal life beyond the boundaries of the camp, the world is a cruel place at the end of the day, and it’s even crueler to demi-gods, that was something Tommy knew as well as anybody there.

As older campers though, they get a little leeway. Of course, the wisdom of that is questionable, considering what some of them do with that leeway, but Tommy is only too happy to take advantage of the system.

Tommy and Adam find stolen moments when they can, between lessons and dinner and before bed, whenever they can find a spare moment to just chill. They never get enough, not in Tommy’s opinion, but each one is precious and awesome, always the best part of Tommy’s day.

Today they decided to say fuck it, and they’d cut out of all their lessons, just lingering in the thick woods where they start to thin out before the shoreline, pretending they’re the only people in the world. They might as well be, considering the little insulated bubble they had around them all day. They talk about nothing, snack on sandwiches they snatched from lunch that they ducked out of. It’s later afternoon when they find out they’re both from Southern California, and Tommy is sort of amused it took when so long to figure that part out. He still thinks it’s crazy; how he feels about Adam compared to how much he still has to even learn about him, but mystery is sort of part of the charm too.

“It would figure we’re both from like...a similar area, and where do we actually meet? Literally on the other side of the country. Long fucking Island, damn, go figure.” Adam’s got his fingers buried in Tommy’s hair, a distracting caress that started as combing out the multi-directional mess and somewhere along the conversation just became comfortable, something that has Tommy’s eyes rolling back and his eyelashes fluttering.

Tommy’s got his head in Adam’s lap, making a pillow out of Adam’s meaty thighs, buzzed on a full stomach and good conversation, overdosed on Adam’s smile which has him acting like a chick with a crush, all giggly and happy.

“Why would that figure?” Tommy finally bothered to ask, eyes opening with a few slow blinks, he’s frowning slightly, questioning.

“I mean like..think about it.” Adam says with a sigh, like it’s hard to explain in so many words. “People who live in a close geographical location, they’re more likely to meet. Just by odds, with chance, you know? Like a theme park or a grocery store or gas station or whatever, the closer they live, the more likely it is that if they’re gonna meet it would be like that, right?”

Tommy just nodded, like he’s too lazy to even respond, but his eyes were open, focused on Adam, listening.

“Anyway, not us, we meet at, statistically, the least likely place. So I mean, it’s more like fate isn’t it? Like it’s something that’s supposed to happen, just because well, more likely it’s fate than chance at this point, right?” Adam suggested and Tommy blinked, once, again, and nodded, getting it, but he’s still frowning.

“I don’t believe in fate.” Tommy confessed when the moment stretched out like taffy, and Adam snickered, his freckled mouth twisting up into a smirk or something like it.

“Son of Apollo doesn’t believe in fate?”Adam asked, tinge with surprise. “You really are a rebel, aren’t you?”

Tommy just snickers in return, and shrugs before he tugs at Adam’s shirt and cranes his neck, meets him awkwardly in the middle for a quick brush of lips, that alone is enough to make all sorts of familiar heat pool in his belly. “I already told you I was.” Tommy reminded him. “I’m the boy your Mama warned you about, remember?”

Adam’s lips were still tingling with that just been kissed feeling and his smile was almost too wide, almost stretching his face to the point of being goofy. “How could I forget?” He asked, suggestive enough to be playful.

Tommy’s long, restless musician fingers are playing with the fabric of Adam’s camp shirt, twisting the warm, well-washed cotton up in his grip before releasing it. They lose the train of conversation for a good while, but that’s one of the things Tommy appreciates, talking is so easy with Adam, but it’s nothing he has to do, not when the silence is easy and thoughtful the way it is.

“So, I’ve been thinking.” Tommy said eventually, still sort of soaking up all that lazy, happy, Adam feeling.

“Ooh, sounds dangerous.” Adam said smirking, eyes far too playful, mischievous. Altogether far too handsome, he makes Tommy’s heart hurt just looking at him.

“You’re such a dick.” Tommy tells him and Adam shrugs, grin unrepentant.

“Anyway...you’ve been thinking...” Adam prompted, smirk softening out into a grin that is charming and wheedling and please, forgive me. “What has my boy got in his pretty head?”

Tommy blames the brightness of his smile on being referred to by Adam as ‘his boy’, he doesn’t bother to ask himself when he turned into such a girl, the answer is pretty moot.

“I was wondering when you were gonna put your money where your mouth is and actually sing for me?”

Adam laughs again but his eyes are so earnest when he speaks and Tommy wouldn’t think to question the truth in what Adam tells him, he just knows he wouldn’t lie. “I don’t know, whenever.”

Adam twirled a strand of Tommy’s hair around and around his thick finger, released it and watched it unravel back to the way it was, there was something shy about his eyes when Tommy met them. “I just...kind of forgot, in the whole getting to know you thing and...well, also I’ve been waiting for you to have your gay freakout.” Adam says and Tommy just frowns and kind of snickers, because really? Only in Adam’s mind would singing and Tommy’s supposedly late gay freakout be connected.

“Not that my singing is some private thing I guess I’ve just been...” Adam’s sigh is heavy, like he’d been carrying around something and just now decided to drop it.

“You’ve been what?” Tommy asked, gently poking a long finger to Adam’s side, between his ribs and Adam gave him a pout, rubbing at the spot like it hurt.

“Been trying not to get too attached. I guess, I sort of...I have this problem with straight boys. I get these ridiculous crushes and I convince myself I’m in love, like an idiot and well, it’s just a problem. If I had a therapist they would probably think it’s self sabotage...like I look for these boys I know would reject me and that...somehow avoids rejection?” He said with a sigh. “I have issues.” Adam admitted softly.

“Ok, wow.” Tommy says kind of dazed, just trying to sort out of where to even start with countering everything Adam just said.

“Number one, I’m pretty sure that kissing another guy isn’t a very straight thing to do, even when you try to blame it on pot. I mean, dude, that’s just gay.” He said and Adam’s smile in response is fragile but amused.

“Number two, I’m not planning on rejecting you. I mean...in case this whole,” Tommy gestures his hands loosely, vaguely indicating both of them. “Thing was ambiguous, I really really like you. You’re like...the best thing to happen to this camp in forever.” Tommy said because seriously, Adam had showed up and sort of re-ordered his universe, but in the good way, where Tommy sort of felt like he was Alice and this had become wonderland.

Adam opened his mouth to speak but Tommy reached up with something wicked in his smile, some of the tenderness in his eyes replaced by playful humor and mischievous words. “And number three, everybody here has issues, it’s like a fucking requirement. Hey, no, seriously dude, don’t laugh, I’m being serious, everybody here is batshit, even the Gods from what I hear. Actually, especially the Gods, I mean they have eons worth of baggage.” Tommy said with a knowing grin and as ridiculous as he sounded he was dead serious. Everybody at Camp has their stuff, their issues, Tommy knows all his shit. But the world has chewed on all of them to various degrees, and some of it is that teenage bullshit, and some of it’s darker, some of it is that spark of divinity they all have. Spark of fuckin’ trouble is more what Tommy thinks.

Adam seemed to settle, fears pushed away for the moment, so far as Tommy could tell and that’s good enough, for the moment it’s good enough.

“So...you wanted to hear me sing then?” Adam asked finally, sitting up from where he’d been lazily leaning against a tree, straightening his spine and sitting to his full height. “I think I can do that.” He said, fingers tugging out of Tommy’s hair which made him wince at where they’d been tangled up in the fine strands, instead they touched at the underside of his jaw, tipping up his chin so he was looking up at Adam, a vague smile on his mouth. Something about Adam made Tommy’s smile stubborn.

Adam’s singing voice hit Tommy like a sudden punch, something that seemed to come from nowhere. It was strong, clear as a bell, smooth and pitch perfect, even with no music. It’s confident, no hitch or falter, it’s a remarkable voice. The thing though, what really changed it from a great voice to something ethereal...something other-worldly, is the emotion.

Adam sang like he felt everything, every note and every word genuine, heartfelt...personal. It’s like a hand that just reached way down into him and grabbed and squeezed and without being able to explain. Tommy had tears in his eyes, blurring the lines of his vision as Adam said they’re all only dust in the wind.

For a moment Tommy was there and just listening, then the realization sort of crept in. Slow. It was like a shadow, but it sort of gathered up and twisted at his belly, like he ate some seriously bad burritos and they were about to wreck righteous hell on his digestive system. It wasn’t so simple as that, he wished it were bad taco meat but no, it’s Adam, Adam and his fucking voice.

People can’t just sing like that, that’s not just talent, it’s divinity. He’s like Orpheus, and there aren’t many Godly parents who pass on gifts like that. Tommy is fucked, and it’s only now that he’s realizing how much, he needs Adam, wants him like a physical ache, but he can’t have him.

He crawled up and backed away from Adam, hair all a muss, eyes big and kind of scared. Adam was just looking at him, breathless from singing, blue eyes shadowed with confusion and concern. Tommy can’t stand it, can’t stand to be there falling in love with him and knowing he can’t, thinking that maybe Adam is his brother, it’s too much, and he can’t do it.

“I can’t-I-I have to go.” Tommy said, dragging his fingers through his hair, tugging too hard making his scalp burn as he gets tangled up in his own hair, practically tripping over his own feet backing away.

“You’re going? What...I don’t-Tommy, wait!” Adam was stopping and starting, talking over himself and his eyes were so hurt, so open and confused and perplexed. Tommy couldn’t take the blue of them, the earnestness, how Adam was just looking at him, completely open, like he’d give Tommy anything, including his heart if he wanted it.

“I’m sorry.” Tommy says, voice cracking, shaking his head as he turned and ran, like a coward.

“The hell did I do now?” Adam asks, voice quiet, tinged with confusion and hopelessness.

PART 2