There's a little black spot on the sun today...
Today was a beige day. I feel as if it is going to be a beige week, as well. What can one do? This must sound odd, but I feel as if "school" has finally begun to sink in. The weekends seem shorter than they should be, and I feel a distinct lack of motivation. Nothing is happening, yet days pass, days that I can't conjure back up and fill with interesting activities. There's a great quote from the Music Man (which is an excellent musical, in my opinion). "Pile up too many tomorrows and you'll find that you've collected nothing but a bunch of empty yesterdays."
I need adrenaline; I am a bit of a junkie, I must say. It's about seven thirty and all I've done is complete some homework and surf the web. It might have been nice to take a walk or sit in the hammock up in the tree or...something. And now all I'm doing is writing a boring journal entry that is, well, listless and unexciting. How do people in the group always have so much energy? I sat with Caitlin on the bus today and she, as usual, was lively and spunky and full of vigor. All I could think about was how I wanted the day to be over already. I can't help feeling that sometimes I'm just a nusiance to people, or that I'm just not there. It's hard to try to act outgoing; I end up frequently standing there listening to the people around me talk, just smiling and nodding. My shy, quiet side shows through like a searchlight. I feel like...a beige person. A copycat. Like a piece of scenery, or a prop. I need to fix that somehow.
Seems I'm not alone in being alone...
I'll send an SOS to the world, I'll send an SOS to the world,
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my message in a bottle.
I'm sending out an SOS,
I'm sending out an SOS,
I'm sending out an SOS...
I need adrenaline; I am a bit of a junkie, I must say. It's about seven thirty and all I've done is complete some homework and surf the web. It might have been nice to take a walk or sit in the hammock up in the tree or...something. And now all I'm doing is writing a boring journal entry that is, well, listless and unexciting. How do people in the group always have so much energy? I sat with Caitlin on the bus today and she, as usual, was lively and spunky and full of vigor. All I could think about was how I wanted the day to be over already. I can't help feeling that sometimes I'm just a nusiance to people, or that I'm just not there. It's hard to try to act outgoing; I end up frequently standing there listening to the people around me talk, just smiling and nodding. My shy, quiet side shows through like a searchlight. I feel like...a beige person. A copycat. Like a piece of scenery, or a prop. I need to fix that somehow.
Seems I'm not alone in being alone...
I'll send an SOS to the world, I'll send an SOS to the world,
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my message in a bottle.
I'm sending out an SOS,
I'm sending out an SOS,
I'm sending out an SOS...