What gives you a sense of security?
I was pondering this one yesterday, because the answer is very different for different people.
Some people find a sense of security in having posessions, others in people, some in a particular place. Or it may be a combination of several of these.
Are your comfort needs low cost or high cost? Can you get as much relaxation from buying a second-hand glass costing 50p as from a new set of matching glasses costing £30? (I actually go out looking for single second-hand sherry glasses, as I tend to break them. I find glasses without stems are much safer as I don't knock them over if my hands are playing up. I just look for single, pretty glasses.)
I think I find the biggest security blankets are family and friends. Had a good cuddle with waveney this morning. Very theraputic. Chatted to exalted_mugwump yesterday, also theraputic. Likewise going to see Les Barker with micavity on Saturday. That's why I like conventions so much. The programme is great, but without knowing that my friends were going to be there as well, I wouldn't even bother stirring from bed.
Novacon was great, but the highlight was writing filk with dougs. Actually, the other high spot was the instant positive feedback from many people when the Orbital_2008 team anounced we were doing an Eastercon bid. It's good to feel valued by people whose opinions you value.
Fandom is definitely part of my comfort zone. It's the most important community in my life and the essence of any community is that it supports you and you support it.
There are places as well. There's a meadow in Corfe Mullen where I can lie down in the long grass in summer and listen to the crickets. I can relax in a hammock in my garden. There's a part of the Peak District that will be part of my soul as long as I live. And there's home. One of the reasons we so rarely re-decorate is that we don't feel the need for constant change. Continuity is security.
For my sons, one of the places that is very important to them is my mother-in-law's (the incomparable Molly) house in Kent. It's a lovely old building with a large garden, but it's also made special by her caring, but practical and no-nonsense approach to life.
Places and people are enduring. I have posessions that I would miss, and yet I'm struggling to think of any that it would break my heart to lose. Even then, it is the link to a person that often makes them special. I have a lovely silver broach that Richard gave me once. I love it as a broach, but I also love it because he knew so exactly what I would like.
This chain of thought was sparked off by two things, a posting by entorien http://www.livejournal.com/users/entorien/24432.html but also by a seashell that I keep on my windowsill.
It's a rather pretty shell, large enough to fill the palm of my hand. It's very tactile, having both spines and a smooth inner surface. It was given to me completely unexpectedly by an American friend after my sister Rosalie died and I found it comforting to hold and touch. If the house caught fire, I think the first thing I might grab would be that sea shell.
What kind of things in life are important to you?
What kind of things make you happy? (and for how long?)
Where do you feel most relaxed?
Some people find a sense of security in having posessions, others in people, some in a particular place. Or it may be a combination of several of these.
Are your comfort needs low cost or high cost? Can you get as much relaxation from buying a second-hand glass costing 50p as from a new set of matching glasses costing £30? (I actually go out looking for single second-hand sherry glasses, as I tend to break them. I find glasses without stems are much safer as I don't knock them over if my hands are playing up. I just look for single, pretty glasses.)
I think I find the biggest security blankets are family and friends. Had a good cuddle with waveney this morning. Very theraputic. Chatted to exalted_mugwump yesterday, also theraputic. Likewise going to see Les Barker with micavity on Saturday. That's why I like conventions so much. The programme is great, but without knowing that my friends were going to be there as well, I wouldn't even bother stirring from bed.
Novacon was great, but the highlight was writing filk with dougs. Actually, the other high spot was the instant positive feedback from many people when the Orbital_2008 team anounced we were doing an Eastercon bid. It's good to feel valued by people whose opinions you value.
Fandom is definitely part of my comfort zone. It's the most important community in my life and the essence of any community is that it supports you and you support it.
There are places as well. There's a meadow in Corfe Mullen where I can lie down in the long grass in summer and listen to the crickets. I can relax in a hammock in my garden. There's a part of the Peak District that will be part of my soul as long as I live. And there's home. One of the reasons we so rarely re-decorate is that we don't feel the need for constant change. Continuity is security.
For my sons, one of the places that is very important to them is my mother-in-law's (the incomparable Molly) house in Kent. It's a lovely old building with a large garden, but it's also made special by her caring, but practical and no-nonsense approach to life.
Places and people are enduring. I have posessions that I would miss, and yet I'm struggling to think of any that it would break my heart to lose. Even then, it is the link to a person that often makes them special. I have a lovely silver broach that Richard gave me once. I love it as a broach, but I also love it because he knew so exactly what I would like.
This chain of thought was sparked off by two things, a posting by entorien http://www.livejournal.com/users/entorien/24432.html but also by a seashell that I keep on my windowsill.
It's a rather pretty shell, large enough to fill the palm of my hand. It's very tactile, having both spines and a smooth inner surface. It was given to me completely unexpectedly by an American friend after my sister Rosalie died and I found it comforting to hold and touch. If the house caught fire, I think the first thing I might grab would be that sea shell.
What kind of things in life are important to you?
What kind of things make you happy? (and for how long?)
Where do you feel most relaxed?