(no subject)
so i guess i have a lot of ground to cover today.. let us see what magic can be worked in the hours before my english class.
my birthday-
i had a spectacular time. Dani, of course, came down for a good few days starting on the 24th- the day that we went to see the shins. i was trying to hurry him out the door but he just kept on distracting me, and since these distractions were overwelmingly sexual, i was totally... well, distracted. so we left a little later and ended up waiting for about 45mins for the next train to come. it was cold and i was trying to be annoyed with him but i just couldnt stay mad for long. and i was excited. he sat on my lap and i called him "princess boyfriend," a name which he has embraced almost more readally than his own name. it was hard to be annoyed about anything with a beautifull boy on my lap and the shins in my near fututre.
we shouldn't have lingered for long but we were both hungry so i bought some soup from smoothie king. it was delicious.
we read the subway stops wrong and ended up several blocks away from the venue. with 10 minutes left before the doors opened i started to panic. we stepped outside into the rain and tied our jackets tighter against the cold. we desperately searched for a taxi, which was impossible since the taxi strike started up again that day and everyone was desperate to find a taxi. half way there dani found one. we talked about our favorite types of emotional blackmail and damply shivered to the beat of whatever pop tune the radio had to offer us.
the concert was wonderfull aside from some teeny boppers in the front. now i hate to sit here and play that too-cool-for-art-school indie kid, but these kids were really out of place and really annoying. i mean i think its great that younger kids are getting into better music, and are getting out there and seeing these bands... but they were acting like it was a blink 182 show. i'm not a show nazi i mean i was bopping around and dancing probably like an idiot. but head banging? jumping up and down trying to start a pushpit? screaming "omg you're soooooo hot aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!" at the tops of their lungs?
i will say this much. this members of the shins are a lot of things. talented for instance. thoughtfull even. but hot? hardly. that doesnt mean i wouldn't totally "do" them (yes all at once, quadruple penetration anyone?) but it certaintly would not be because they were hot.
anyway i elbowed a couple of them in the head 'by accident' while they were head banging and they stopped for a while.
they played most of the songs i wanted to hear and all i could say was "yeah i would totally fuck your voice." actually dan was the one who said it first. i would deffinately see them again, and reccomend that anyone who gets a chance see the also. they all were multi talented, i'm pretty sure every member sang and played an instrument and did a bang up job at both. their vocal ranges were SO impressive especially considering that this was their second show in a row at that venue.
best buy-
so i started working at best buy and i love it. the diversity of the company is undeniable. i will say though, that i am one of the few women who works there aside from the registers, but i also get the idea that not that many women apply. the guys who i work with (in di or digital imaging) are all really sweet. i've been told by my supervisor and the store manager that of all of the new hires and seasonals i am picking up the quickest. i love it. i love playing with the cameras. i love joking around with the guys. there is a sexual tension that is undeniable between myself and one of my co workers. his name is kevin and he is pretty much the palest kid i have ever met short of being albino. i dont talk about dani much at work because i would like to atleast start off this new job being somewhat proffesional. i'm not attracted to this kid and i have made that clear to dan but i do find it flattering. i mean its hard to not lead him on almost. what i'm saying is that i dont feel guilty towards dan. he knows me. he knows whats going on and he knows that i am flirtatious. i'm not going to sit here and lie and say that i dont find it flattering, you see? i dont think that this makes me a bad person. but in a sense by not mentioning dan to him yet i am leading him on.
i am hesitant i supose first of all because he hasnt actually said he likes me, so if i make a point of telling him i have a boy friend he will probably get on the deffensive and say something like "who said i even like you?"... or i just feel weird talking about my bf at work. i mean i feel like that girl who just makes her identity out of who she is dating. then again i do do that..
anyway the last of my concerns is that i like the flirting. i do. i'm not attracted to him but he is so sweet and its fun to playfully flirt with him. after being with dan for about a year now, the butterflies in our stomaches have stopped fluttering. we dont have stars in our eyes. our relationship has a practicle function of support and reliablity in our lives. we love each other because we know each other. there arent any unknowns. i'm not the goddes with big boots and curly hair from serendipity ans he isnt that one of the "cool gays" that i was afraid to talk to after sara trashed my name. i'm melanie, he's dan. i still feel excited to be with him and intrigued by how inventive he is everyday. i feel fulfilled in our relatonship, i say this partially because i know he will read this and i want to reassure him.
but could anyone really say that when a nice person comes aliong and turns bright red at the sight of you that they dont feel good about themselves?
i guess in a way i am afraid that if i bring up dan this flattery will go away, and in that way, yes i am selfish. so fucking sue me.
i think i will tell him outside of work. we go to school together. i think it wont be so awkward to talk about dani if i'm not in the blue-shirted kahki-pantsed setting of best buy, continuously prooving myself to my coworkers and customers (people will outright ignore me so that they can get help from one of the boys. arent they suprised when they have to ask me for help?)
there is more the be written, but i will leave it at this for now. class is calling me and i must answer.
i will try to write something a little bit less just-the-facts and more the litterary genious that we all know i am.
hearts and farts,
melanie
my birthday-
i had a spectacular time. Dani, of course, came down for a good few days starting on the 24th- the day that we went to see the shins. i was trying to hurry him out the door but he just kept on distracting me, and since these distractions were overwelmingly sexual, i was totally... well, distracted. so we left a little later and ended up waiting for about 45mins for the next train to come. it was cold and i was trying to be annoyed with him but i just couldnt stay mad for long. and i was excited. he sat on my lap and i called him "princess boyfriend," a name which he has embraced almost more readally than his own name. it was hard to be annoyed about anything with a beautifull boy on my lap and the shins in my near fututre.
we shouldn't have lingered for long but we were both hungry so i bought some soup from smoothie king. it was delicious.
we read the subway stops wrong and ended up several blocks away from the venue. with 10 minutes left before the doors opened i started to panic. we stepped outside into the rain and tied our jackets tighter against the cold. we desperately searched for a taxi, which was impossible since the taxi strike started up again that day and everyone was desperate to find a taxi. half way there dani found one. we talked about our favorite types of emotional blackmail and damply shivered to the beat of whatever pop tune the radio had to offer us.
the concert was wonderfull aside from some teeny boppers in the front. now i hate to sit here and play that too-cool-for-art-school indie kid, but these kids were really out of place and really annoying. i mean i think its great that younger kids are getting into better music, and are getting out there and seeing these bands... but they were acting like it was a blink 182 show. i'm not a show nazi i mean i was bopping around and dancing probably like an idiot. but head banging? jumping up and down trying to start a pushpit? screaming "omg you're soooooo hot aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!" at the tops of their lungs?
i will say this much. this members of the shins are a lot of things. talented for instance. thoughtfull even. but hot? hardly. that doesnt mean i wouldn't totally "do" them (yes all at once, quadruple penetration anyone?) but it certaintly would not be because they were hot.
anyway i elbowed a couple of them in the head 'by accident' while they were head banging and they stopped for a while.
they played most of the songs i wanted to hear and all i could say was "yeah i would totally fuck your voice." actually dan was the one who said it first. i would deffinately see them again, and reccomend that anyone who gets a chance see the also. they all were multi talented, i'm pretty sure every member sang and played an instrument and did a bang up job at both. their vocal ranges were SO impressive especially considering that this was their second show in a row at that venue.
best buy-
so i started working at best buy and i love it. the diversity of the company is undeniable. i will say though, that i am one of the few women who works there aside from the registers, but i also get the idea that not that many women apply. the guys who i work with (in di or digital imaging) are all really sweet. i've been told by my supervisor and the store manager that of all of the new hires and seasonals i am picking up the quickest. i love it. i love playing with the cameras. i love joking around with the guys. there is a sexual tension that is undeniable between myself and one of my co workers. his name is kevin and he is pretty much the palest kid i have ever met short of being albino. i dont talk about dani much at work because i would like to atleast start off this new job being somewhat proffesional. i'm not attracted to this kid and i have made that clear to dan but i do find it flattering. i mean its hard to not lead him on almost. what i'm saying is that i dont feel guilty towards dan. he knows me. he knows whats going on and he knows that i am flirtatious. i'm not going to sit here and lie and say that i dont find it flattering, you see? i dont think that this makes me a bad person. but in a sense by not mentioning dan to him yet i am leading him on.
i am hesitant i supose first of all because he hasnt actually said he likes me, so if i make a point of telling him i have a boy friend he will probably get on the deffensive and say something like "who said i even like you?"... or i just feel weird talking about my bf at work. i mean i feel like that girl who just makes her identity out of who she is dating. then again i do do that..
anyway the last of my concerns is that i like the flirting. i do. i'm not attracted to him but he is so sweet and its fun to playfully flirt with him. after being with dan for about a year now, the butterflies in our stomaches have stopped fluttering. we dont have stars in our eyes. our relationship has a practicle function of support and reliablity in our lives. we love each other because we know each other. there arent any unknowns. i'm not the goddes with big boots and curly hair from serendipity ans he isnt that one of the "cool gays" that i was afraid to talk to after sara trashed my name. i'm melanie, he's dan. i still feel excited to be with him and intrigued by how inventive he is everyday. i feel fulfilled in our relatonship, i say this partially because i know he will read this and i want to reassure him.
but could anyone really say that when a nice person comes aliong and turns bright red at the sight of you that they dont feel good about themselves?
i guess in a way i am afraid that if i bring up dan this flattery will go away, and in that way, yes i am selfish. so fucking sue me.
i think i will tell him outside of work. we go to school together. i think it wont be so awkward to talk about dani if i'm not in the blue-shirted kahki-pantsed setting of best buy, continuously prooving myself to my coworkers and customers (people will outright ignore me so that they can get help from one of the boys. arent they suprised when they have to ask me for help?)
there is more the be written, but i will leave it at this for now. class is calling me and i must answer.
i will try to write something a little bit less just-the-facts and more the litterary genious that we all know i am.
hearts and farts,
melanie