(no subject)
i'm devistated. this is perhapse not the natural response to being late for work. but i was doing so well. and i want that promotion so badly. i deserve it. almost 3 1/2 years with this company.
my sales kick ass.
i've irrefutably improved at staying on task, assigning tasks to others and seeing them through.
i've toughened up with the associates and don't let them walk all over me.
my visual merchandising is unmatched in my store...
but this is a serious write up. we lost potential buissness as a result. it figures that in the month that i'm being considered for a promotion, i do this.
aside from that i dont have open availability. 3/7 days i cant work.. but its a part time position anyway...
i cant make up for it now, and i couldnt have prevented it.
if i dont get the promotion i think i should leave. not because i'm insulted because when it comes down to it.. it's the DMs call, if some one can preform better they have to get it. it's only fair...
i'd leave out of embarassment. cal leaves. jay moves up to full time to replace her, i move up to replace him as part time asm, sam moves up to key. sam has already been promoted to key and jay has already been told that he is going to be the fulltime one cal IS gone. so where does that leave me if i dont get promoted? someone else already has been promised and trained for my position. cal is leaving in 3 weeks and they havent even trained me on how to close yet. they havent even started. i will also be the only one in the district elegible for promotion, not getting one, and in my own store none the less.
i'm upset. all month i have been "proving myself". going the extra proverbial mile to show my stuff, being available on school nights to compensate for my lack of availablity, while the rest of our staff is given a crash course in closing every night that they come in by yours truly because they cant seem to remember what i told them last night.
i pick out good kids to hire, while chrispy finds some kid with a slipknot tattoo on his fore arm and a girl who just generally doesnt do anything. and yet i hear from her "melanie yanno, you do all of these great things but when you pull stunts like this we cant even consider them anymore! it's like you've taken a giant earaser to all of the good stuff! we cant even look at it."
why not? i understand that i fucked up. but i am far more reliable than unreliable and far more reliable than most of the other employees in the district.
i'm pissed. i deserve this. i have for a while.
dani and i have been doing a lot better. whether its the lithium or not, i cannot say. but i'm happy. aside from his general insanity, dani has been experiencing a lot less of a gap between his emotions. he is still a little wacky but that happens when you drink a cup of coffe and a double shot espresso at 6 pm.
i'm constantly amazed by him. his father sent him some messages on myspace recently. poorly written and conceived, following the precedent set by previous messages, they jump back and forth between telling dani that he is full of shit and should change his last name to saying that he doesnt mean to be mean to and then again to how dani has been brainwashed and is going to die at the age of 40. i hate him. i hate what he says and everything he stands for. he concluded every message by reminding dani of what he "really is" and belittling him as that. not only is dan a woman but as such cant understand what a man can. and i quote:
"Something you will never, never understand as a women/girl/chick you cant change biology its who you are and the way god met for you to be."
yes. a woman/girl/chick....
and who could forget the ever popular:
"your a sad mean little girl and probley will never change."
you're right. he wont change... for you. we are both in an on going state of change, reformation, rebirth, if you will. it's part of the creativeity that attracted me to him in the first place. i want to live with him to experience his creation on a daily and intimate level. during the course of the exchanges dan's dad said that g-d wouldnt listen to dans prayers.
dan-
" You aren't right. You aren't better than me. God doesnt love you MORE than me. You've got nothing above me. You've got nothing on me. Change your last name if you don't want to be associated with me. I am not making any accomodations for you."
i'm so proud of how strong he has remained. i hope that dan posts the whole set in his journal or lets me put it in mine. but for now i supose that stuff will have to do. i'm so proud of you, dear.
my sales kick ass.
i've irrefutably improved at staying on task, assigning tasks to others and seeing them through.
i've toughened up with the associates and don't let them walk all over me.
my visual merchandising is unmatched in my store...
but this is a serious write up. we lost potential buissness as a result. it figures that in the month that i'm being considered for a promotion, i do this.
aside from that i dont have open availability. 3/7 days i cant work.. but its a part time position anyway...
i cant make up for it now, and i couldnt have prevented it.
if i dont get the promotion i think i should leave. not because i'm insulted because when it comes down to it.. it's the DMs call, if some one can preform better they have to get it. it's only fair...
i'd leave out of embarassment. cal leaves. jay moves up to full time to replace her, i move up to replace him as part time asm, sam moves up to key. sam has already been promoted to key and jay has already been told that he is going to be the fulltime one cal IS gone. so where does that leave me if i dont get promoted? someone else already has been promised and trained for my position. cal is leaving in 3 weeks and they havent even trained me on how to close yet. they havent even started. i will also be the only one in the district elegible for promotion, not getting one, and in my own store none the less.
i'm upset. all month i have been "proving myself". going the extra proverbial mile to show my stuff, being available on school nights to compensate for my lack of availablity, while the rest of our staff is given a crash course in closing every night that they come in by yours truly because they cant seem to remember what i told them last night.
i pick out good kids to hire, while chrispy finds some kid with a slipknot tattoo on his fore arm and a girl who just generally doesnt do anything. and yet i hear from her "melanie yanno, you do all of these great things but when you pull stunts like this we cant even consider them anymore! it's like you've taken a giant earaser to all of the good stuff! we cant even look at it."
why not? i understand that i fucked up. but i am far more reliable than unreliable and far more reliable than most of the other employees in the district.
i'm pissed. i deserve this. i have for a while.
dani and i have been doing a lot better. whether its the lithium or not, i cannot say. but i'm happy. aside from his general insanity, dani has been experiencing a lot less of a gap between his emotions. he is still a little wacky but that happens when you drink a cup of coffe and a double shot espresso at 6 pm.
i'm constantly amazed by him. his father sent him some messages on myspace recently. poorly written and conceived, following the precedent set by previous messages, they jump back and forth between telling dani that he is full of shit and should change his last name to saying that he doesnt mean to be mean to and then again to how dani has been brainwashed and is going to die at the age of 40. i hate him. i hate what he says and everything he stands for. he concluded every message by reminding dani of what he "really is" and belittling him as that. not only is dan a woman but as such cant understand what a man can. and i quote:
"Something you will never, never understand as a women/girl/chick you cant change biology its who you are and the way god met for you to be."
yes. a woman/girl/chick....
and who could forget the ever popular:
"your a sad mean little girl and probley will never change."
you're right. he wont change... for you. we are both in an on going state of change, reformation, rebirth, if you will. it's part of the creativeity that attracted me to him in the first place. i want to live with him to experience his creation on a daily and intimate level. during the course of the exchanges dan's dad said that g-d wouldnt listen to dans prayers.
dan-
" You aren't right. You aren't better than me. God doesnt love you MORE than me. You've got nothing above me. You've got nothing on me. Change your last name if you don't want to be associated with me. I am not making any accomodations for you."
i'm so proud of how strong he has remained. i hope that dan posts the whole set in his journal or lets me put it in mine. but for now i supose that stuff will have to do. i'm so proud of you, dear.