I'm not okay.

Feb 23, 2005 23:11

This probably won't work because livejournal has been gay lately ( Read more... )

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neenqbus February 24 2005, 17:40:36 UTC
I like him. I can't help it. I feel like shit for liking him but I liked him for a while now, not knowing you had as well. I'm sorry he did what he did to you. He talks to me about it, and trust me....he does feel like shit...about you. He didn't use you. And he knows he made you feel used, but he didn't mean to. He didn't just try to get some fuck out of you. He cares about you and the friendship you guys had, and will have if you let things go.

I'm giving him another chance. You should too..please. Don't fuck your mind up with things that only pain you because of stupid body chemicals that your mind can refuse to give control to.

And as for seeing me with him, I am sorry if it hurts you. . . it makes me feel guilty because we are nothing serious and I don't want any serious potential either. Therefore I feel like if it's not so worth it to me, I should drop it becaus I know you're hurt by it. But Hillary, you're right...I am too nice. And I am really fucking sick of doing things for other people. Really sick. I need to learn how to have fun with my own needs and wants. This age is the age when you pretty much know who you are and you go out into the world with this character (sorry to be corny)...so if I want to stop being walked around on, then I am going to start doing things the way I want NOW.

Talk to me in person okay? PLEASE. Don't give me that bottled up I don't have anything to say shit. I care about you. 609 688 0533

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waterinourlungs February 24 2005, 20:54:50 UTC
nino, the reason i havent talked to you to your face is because i feel no need to. this isn't about you. it's him that i hate and it's him that hurt me. i would have done the same thing your doing. you like him, i know, i understand, trust me. im not as hurt by what he did in a liking him type of way as i am as he was supposed to be my friend, and he whined to me about how he screwed you over, and how he had to fix it, and how he "had to stop screwing people over" and while he was tleling me this, he was srewing me over, and he doesnt care. the truth is, this has happened to me before, and i know how you feel about eltting people walk all over you, becaysew even though i am a complete bitch to our friends and i dont let them walk all over me, i have always let guys use and walk all over me because i dont have the guts to do anything about it. i just hate him for wasting my time, because before he told me he "liked" me, i was ready to stop with guys, to forget about them to college, and i was actually doing a decent job with it, i was proud of myself. but because he was tyler, the kid ive always had a thing for since the day i moved here in 6th grade, i gave in. and he made me ask you for permission to hook up, and make our friendship awkward, when he just ended up liking you anyways. he completely wasted my time..and wasted my self esteem. it just hurts. i am not mad at you, how could i be?
and as for giving him a second chance..this was his like 10th chance.
i'm sorry.

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