A Flame War Commences...
The internet has a great many uses for the anonymity in which it cloaks its users. For example, I am posting on this journal under an assumed name. I am called Wateracre because it is my acting surname. This is because Spotlight, the UK's premier way to sponge money off actors and give them some false sense of hope, said that if I was an actor, I couldn't use my own name because of this man...
His name is Tommy Davies, and he is an actor. His recent roles include "Gangster/Loan shark" in a film called "25 G's", "Gormless store security guard" in a Lady Sovereign video, and "Leading Fascist" in Spooks. I am slightly envious of him - not only because he is the main reason I have a stupid acting name, but also because he was in Spooks. I frickin' love Spooks.
I think you'll agree... it's pretty difficult to tell us apart. I digress.
Anyway, another use of the internet's unspoken anonymity clause is the Flame. Not being able to look into someone's eyes as you talk to or about them means it is a lot easier to take them down a peg or two. Often without cause, and always with maximum venom.
This can backfire. Someone once vandalised the Pegabovine wikipedia:- A man called "Sarcastro98" (and believe you me, girls don't do this sort of shit) altered the sentence
"Using the basement of a local pub, they held a fortnightly open forum for comedy writers and performers"
to
"Using the basement of a local pub, they held a fortnightly open forum for comedy writers and performers, unfortunately all of whom are absolutely dreadful".
Disappointingly for Mr Sarcastro98, this statement turned out to be almost 100% correct. We were all absolutely dreadful! Had he come to one of our sketch nights in Exeter? I think he probably had! It was uncanny.
That, I didn't mind. However, I had a look today at the video on YouTube that Pegabovine friend Tom Keegan made for Theme Of 'Unoriginal Gangsta'. Now, Tom isn't a professional video-maker, and I'm sure he would be the first to admit that - were he given a Michel Gondry-size budget - the video could be improved, but it's still a bloody great video and very personally flattering for me as the writer of the song to have someone make something in response to something you've made. Thanks Tom.
How disappointing, then, to be confronted by this comment from the illustrious "TherealMiamivenis"...
This really is poor. I'm guessing Mr Wateracre is the guy talking and looking like a twat in the video yes? So little originality, so many cliches and such a waste of everybodys time. I hope bad things happen to you Wateracre, if that is your real name.
Amazing. Let me respond to this point-by-point, and hopefully start an honest-to-goodness GENUINE FLAME WAR! This is going to be DAMNED EXCITING!
I'm guessing Mr Wateracre is the guy talking and looking like a twat in the video yes?
You are correct. That is me. Hello.
This really is poor.
Well, that is a matter of opinion, but I accept your criticism.
So little originality, so many cliches and such a waste of everybodys time.
Again, that is an opinion. Your point about "so little originality" is quite ironic as that is the whole point of the song; it takes the "Original Gangsta" concept and comedically turns it on its head, suggesting that someone rapping precisely about their lack of imagination and originality may provoke humour. Besides, I am a 27-year-old well-spoken white man from England pretending to be a sixty-something well-spoken white man from England, and doing this through the medium of rap - a medium which, you might need to be aware, is not a medium that comes easily to any well-spoken white men from England, sixty-something or otherwise. If there are cliches, then they are supposed to be there. If it is bad, it's meant to be be bad. It's a comedy song. Lighten up, dude!
I hope bad things happen to you Wateracre
Really? Why? Because I wasted two minutes ten seconds of your time? Not including the time it took you to write your sniffy little comment? Bad things have happened to me! Nasty things! The other day, I was waiting for a bus and I waited a long time and when the bus came, it broke down so I had to WALK UP A HILL. Is this YOUR DOING, TherealMiamivenis? Are you casting HEXES AT ME FROM AFAR? Because I wasted at most FIVE MINUTES OF YOUR TIME? Well, I wasted THREE QUARTERS OF AN HOUR writing this blog post! Get off me, man! That's my karma you're messing with!
Wateracre, if that is your real name.
Well... uh... it's not. My real name is Tom. Hello. I had to change mine because a guy who played "Miner" in a Hard-Fi video wanted to use it. Them's the breaks. I do understand, though, it is a stupid name. In that respect, Mr TherealMiamivenis, you are absolutely right.
But wait a minute! TherealMiamivenis. That's not a Greek name, is it? Are you trying to be the opposite of the FAKE Miamivenis? What is a Miamivenis, anyway? Do you mean Miami Venus? Or Miami Venice? Wait a minute, let me google it...
Ah. Nothing under "TherealMiamivenis" (only your comment on my video), but if you google "Miamivenis", you do get some profiles on a few message boards, RedHotPawn (a chess site), and a message board on which you talk mostly about wrestling, but also an enlightening post in which you write "Charles Clarke axed - Looks like there are some major changes ahead for the government..."
Are you, TherealMiamivenis, with your pithy understanding and analysis of British politics, actually Simon Hoggart?
Anyway, I hope only good things happen to you, TherealMiamivenis, if that is your real name. I hope you go out tonight and find a lovely person with whom you share a mutual attraction, and who stimulates your brain, and who challenges your preconceived notions of affection in a comfortable and comforting environment, and I hope you fall deeply in love and become ever more one with the universe. I think that would be good for you. May your path be strewn with blossom, and your head and feet anointed with fragranced oils, and may every wrestling match you watch rock your world. God bless you, TherealMiamivenis. God bless you in the face.
I'm not quite sure I've got the hang of flame wars.
His name is Tommy Davies, and he is an actor. His recent roles include "Gangster/Loan shark" in a film called "25 G's", "Gormless store security guard" in a Lady Sovereign video, and "Leading Fascist" in Spooks. I am slightly envious of him - not only because he is the main reason I have a stupid acting name, but also because he was in Spooks. I frickin' love Spooks.
I think you'll agree... it's pretty difficult to tell us apart. I digress.
Anyway, another use of the internet's unspoken anonymity clause is the Flame. Not being able to look into someone's eyes as you talk to or about them means it is a lot easier to take them down a peg or two. Often without cause, and always with maximum venom.
This can backfire. Someone once vandalised the Pegabovine wikipedia:- A man called "Sarcastro98" (and believe you me, girls don't do this sort of shit) altered the sentence
"Using the basement of a local pub, they held a fortnightly open forum for comedy writers and performers"
to
"Using the basement of a local pub, they held a fortnightly open forum for comedy writers and performers, unfortunately all of whom are absolutely dreadful".
Disappointingly for Mr Sarcastro98, this statement turned out to be almost 100% correct. We were all absolutely dreadful! Had he come to one of our sketch nights in Exeter? I think he probably had! It was uncanny.
That, I didn't mind. However, I had a look today at the video on YouTube that Pegabovine friend Tom Keegan made for Theme Of 'Unoriginal Gangsta'. Now, Tom isn't a professional video-maker, and I'm sure he would be the first to admit that - were he given a Michel Gondry-size budget - the video could be improved, but it's still a bloody great video and very personally flattering for me as the writer of the song to have someone make something in response to something you've made. Thanks Tom.
How disappointing, then, to be confronted by this comment from the illustrious "TherealMiamivenis"...
This really is poor. I'm guessing Mr Wateracre is the guy talking and looking like a twat in the video yes? So little originality, so many cliches and such a waste of everybodys time. I hope bad things happen to you Wateracre, if that is your real name.
Amazing. Let me respond to this point-by-point, and hopefully start an honest-to-goodness GENUINE FLAME WAR! This is going to be DAMNED EXCITING!
I'm guessing Mr Wateracre is the guy talking and looking like a twat in the video yes?
You are correct. That is me. Hello.
This really is poor.
Well, that is a matter of opinion, but I accept your criticism.
So little originality, so many cliches and such a waste of everybodys time.
Again, that is an opinion. Your point about "so little originality" is quite ironic as that is the whole point of the song; it takes the "Original Gangsta" concept and comedically turns it on its head, suggesting that someone rapping precisely about their lack of imagination and originality may provoke humour. Besides, I am a 27-year-old well-spoken white man from England pretending to be a sixty-something well-spoken white man from England, and doing this through the medium of rap - a medium which, you might need to be aware, is not a medium that comes easily to any well-spoken white men from England, sixty-something or otherwise. If there are cliches, then they are supposed to be there. If it is bad, it's meant to be be bad. It's a comedy song. Lighten up, dude!
I hope bad things happen to you Wateracre
Really? Why? Because I wasted two minutes ten seconds of your time? Not including the time it took you to write your sniffy little comment? Bad things have happened to me! Nasty things! The other day, I was waiting for a bus and I waited a long time and when the bus came, it broke down so I had to WALK UP A HILL. Is this YOUR DOING, TherealMiamivenis? Are you casting HEXES AT ME FROM AFAR? Because I wasted at most FIVE MINUTES OF YOUR TIME? Well, I wasted THREE QUARTERS OF AN HOUR writing this blog post! Get off me, man! That's my karma you're messing with!
Wateracre, if that is your real name.
Well... uh... it's not. My real name is Tom. Hello. I had to change mine because a guy who played "Miner" in a Hard-Fi video wanted to use it. Them's the breaks. I do understand, though, it is a stupid name. In that respect, Mr TherealMiamivenis, you are absolutely right.
But wait a minute! TherealMiamivenis. That's not a Greek name, is it? Are you trying to be the opposite of the FAKE Miamivenis? What is a Miamivenis, anyway? Do you mean Miami Venus? Or Miami Venice? Wait a minute, let me google it...
Ah. Nothing under "TherealMiamivenis" (only your comment on my video), but if you google "Miamivenis", you do get some profiles on a few message boards, RedHotPawn (a chess site), and a message board on which you talk mostly about wrestling, but also an enlightening post in which you write "Charles Clarke axed - Looks like there are some major changes ahead for the government..."
Are you, TherealMiamivenis, with your pithy understanding and analysis of British politics, actually Simon Hoggart?
Anyway, I hope only good things happen to you, TherealMiamivenis, if that is your real name. I hope you go out tonight and find a lovely person with whom you share a mutual attraction, and who stimulates your brain, and who challenges your preconceived notions of affection in a comfortable and comforting environment, and I hope you fall deeply in love and become ever more one with the universe. I think that would be good for you. May your path be strewn with blossom, and your head and feet anointed with fragranced oils, and may every wrestling match you watch rock your world. God bless you, TherealMiamivenis. God bless you in the face.
I'm not quite sure I've got the hang of flame wars.