Fic: Act Naturally
Title: Act Naturally
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2000
Characters/Pairings: Kurt/Blaine, OCs (their children)
Spoilers: none
Summary: When Kurt unlocks the door and pushes it open at ten past six, he knows almost instinctively that something is afoot. Daddy!Klaine future fic.
When Kurt unlocks the door and pushes it open at ten past six, he knows almost instinctively that something is afoot.
He could hear some muffled tittering and food preparatory noises, but as soon as his footfalls alert his family of his presence, silence descends so thick and fast you would think somebody hit the mute button.
He finds the three of them in the kitchen. Katie is standing on a chair, helping Blaine stir something that smells like Kurt's favourite mushroom crème sauce while Asher clings to Blaine's hip, sucking on his fingers. They are dressed in matching outfits and there is a caramel pecan cheesecake cooling on a rack on the island. Something is definitely afoot.
“Dada!” Asher exclaims, pulling his slobbery fingers from his mouth and waving. He squirms down from under Blaine's arm and toddles over to be scooped up and swung around by Kurt.
Kurt presses a kiss to the top of his curls and then his adorable button of a nose. “And why are you wearing a bow tie, little man?”
“Saprise!” Asher says and throws out his hands.
“But it's not my birthday!”
“We made your favourite food, Dad!” Katie calls from over by the stove.
“I can smell that.” Kurt heads over and kisses the top of his daughter's head, sniffing over her shoulder at the sauce she is still helping to stir as she giggles.
He straightens and turns to Blaine. He's trying way too hard to look innocent. “Have a good day?” Kurt asks him.
“Mmmhmm.” He gives Blaine a calculating look, but Blaine just looks away and leaves Katie to the sauce so that he can stir the pot of noodles. Kurt considers asking point blank what it is they're up to and just barely refrains. He leans in and gives Blaine a kiss instead. Let them have their fun. “Looks delicious. Did you bake that cheesecake?”
“I did!” Blaine says, puffing up with pride. “It wasn't nearly as hard as I expected it to be.”
“Man of many talents.”
Blaine gives him a flirtatious wink and Kurt laughs. “Almost ready?”
“Yep.”
He takes Asher into the dining room to put him in his seat and set the table for dinner. Only the table has already been set. With the good china. Kurt hums to himself and straps Asher into his high chair. He takes the seat next to him and waits, still wondering what they're up to.
Everything is, in fact, delicious. He's wiping a splatter of sauce off of Asher's chin with his napkin when Blaine speaks up. “It was perfect weather for the park today, wasn't it, guys?”
“Stick to the script!” Katie hisses at him from under her breath.
“Did she just say 'stick to the script'?”
Blaine forces a nervous sounding chuckle and grins widely, shaking his head.
Katie elbows Blaine in the side. “Daddy, smile without showing your teeth! Uncle Cooper says it's a lot less threatening and a lot more persuasive.”
Kurt drops his napkin on the tray of Asher's high chair. Asher snatches it up immediately and places it on his head like a hat. “All right, what is going on here? I knew something was up, what with the dinner and the clothes...” Blaine and Katie are leaning towards each other, identical closed mouthed smiles spread creepily across their faces. Asher peeks out from under his napkin hat and blinks.
“Well, um... you see, this morning...” Blaine begins.
~ Earlier that day... ~
It's a gorgeous day. The sun is bright and warm, unseasonably so for late October. They're walking through the park, drinking hot apple cider and playing in the fallen leaves when a dog comes running at them, barking happily and jumping into the pile of leaves that Katie and Asher gathered together.
“Oh goodness, I'm so sorry,” says a familiar lady, out of breath and carrying a broken leash, the other half of which is still attached to the dog's collar.
“That's okay,” Blaine reassures her. “He seems friendly enough.” Katie and Asher are giggling and patting the dog while it wags its tail and wiggles its bum.
“She, actually. Buttercup,” the lady says. Blaine stares at her face, trying to place her. “Apparently she has more energy than I gave her credit for. She's got a litter of four week old puppies running her ragged and I thought she could use a breather. Didn't know she was going to make a run for it!”
Blaine laughs along with her and then it clicks. “I think you live in our building,” he says.
“I do, yes.” She nods her head and smiles. “You and your husband live a few floors above me. I'm at 4B. I'm Rosa Haynes.”
They shake hands and Katie stands up, still petting the dog. “Did you say Buttercup's got puppies?” she asks, eyeing first Mrs. Haynes and then her father. “Are you giving them away?”
“I am indeed,” Mrs. Haynes says. She glances over at Blaine, her eyes twinkling. “Interested?”
~ *** ~
“...we saw Mrs. Haynes from 4B down at the park...”
“Woof! Woof!” Asher says. He drops the napkin onto the floor and lets his tongue loll out of his mouth, pretending to pant like a dog.
Kurt looks from his little boy to his husband and daughter, shaking their heads in unison and cringing at Asher.
“Oh my God, is there a secret dog lurking around in this apartment that you've all been hiding from me?”
Blaine's mouth falls open and he begins shaking his head and gaping like a fish. Kurt almost loses his resolve and starts to laugh. “No... I wouldn't... The puppies are only four weeks old. They're not ready to go yet. That is, Mrs. Haynes' puppies. You know, Mrs. Haynes in -”
“In 4B, yes, I heard that part.”
“Dad, can we have one of the puppies, can we, please?” Asher tacks a little puppy whine on to the end of Katie's impassioned plea and she glares daggers at him. “Oh sure, now you follow the script! Amateur!”
“First of all - do not speak to you brother that way, and I think maybe you need to spend a little less time with both Aunt Rachel and Uncle Cooper, and secondly - your father and I will discuss the dog situation later, Katherine, and make a decision about it together.”
“Dad.”
“You heard me. Not up for discussion.”
Blaine pats Katie on the hand and tells her to finish eating her dinner while she glares at Kurt from across the table. She picks up her fork, but she doesn't start eating. “You are every single kind of not fun,” she tells Kurt.
“Katie, what did Grandma Carole say about things like that?” Blaine asks her quietly.
She rolls her eyes. Kurt would chastise her for it if she hadn't gotten it from him in the first place. “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar,” she says with a sigh, her eyes still looking ceiling-ward. But then she perks up and lets her fork crash back to the table. “But Uncle Cooper says you gotta be true to your emotions!”
Blaine catches Kurt's eye and bites his lip, holding in a laugh. Kurt himself has to hide his own grin behind his hand, pretending to yawn. “Well,” Blaine starts, “as far as grownups go, Grandma Carole is much more the sort of grownup you take advice from in situations like this, okay? We love Uncle Cooper, but...”
“I hansome dis side,” Asher says, posing in his seat with one eyebrow arched and a hand on his hip. Neither Kurt nor Blaine can hold in their laughter any longer.
Katie is still in a mood at bed time. She pitches a fit because the new toothbrush Kurt brought her isn't as pretty as her old one, and then she refuses to let him read her a story, even though the rule is whichever dad stays home that day, the other reads the bedtime story and does the tucking in.
“I will speak to you tomorrow when I am feeling less hostile,” she says matter-of-factly and turns her head away from Kurt's kiss. “Now please send Daddy in to give me a goodnight kiss.”
When Blaine returns to their bedroom after visiting with Katie for several minutes, Kurt rolls his eyes. “Jesus, you'd think I'd just disemboweled a whole slew of puppies right in front of her the way she's carrying on,” he says, whipping a brush through his hair.
“Kurt, visuals!” Blaine says, making a pouting face. Kurt is pretty sure he mumbles poor puppies under his breath.
“Oh God, not you too!”
Blaine shrugs and crawls under the covers on his side of the bed. Kurt switches off the overhead light and climbs in bed next to him. “So?”
“So what?” Blaine asks. He's still pouting a little.
And as much as Kurt loves to tease him, he just can't hold it in any longer. He bounces up and down on the bed and turns in Blaine's direction with a wide grin. “What kind of dogs are they? Are they cute? How many does she have?”
“You - You complete asshole! You made it seem like you didn't want one!” Blaine scolds. He crosses his arms over his chest and pretends to be angry, but Kurt can see right through him and his attempts not to smile.
“Hey, I've got my reputation as the 'mean dad' to uphold here! I can't just cave at the first mention of puppies! Then what would happen? Cookies all the time and full days spent in pyjamas and staying up til all hours... Good lord, I would turn into you. And if we had two of you in this house it would be pure anarchy!”
Blaine's mouth is hanging open in indignation, but Kurt knows he's not really offended. His lips turn up after half a second and he's grinning like a fool. “They're beagles.”
“Oh my God, so cute!” Kurt gushes, already planning out doggy sweaters for the upcoming winter.
“I know!”
“Can we go see them tomorrow? I want to make sure we get the pick of the litter. Oh my God, I can make it a little collar... I have some nice supple leather scraps that would be lovely with their colouring...”
Blaine laughs and reaches behind him to grab his pillow and smack Kurt with it. “I'm so mad at you!”
Kurt laughs and pushes Blaine down on his back. “Puppies!” he says, and leans in to land a smacking kiss on Blaine's laughing mouth.
~*~
Outside the bedroom door, Katie stands with her ear pressed to a glass just like when Uncle Cooper was teaching her one hundred and one great spying skills. “Woof!” Asher says from next to her and she shushes him, pumping her fist in the air.
“We're getting a puppy, Ash,” she says with a grin and grabs his chubby little hands, tugging him away to her bedroom.
“Woof,” he says again, but in a whisper this time.
They stay up late into the night trying to pick out the perfect puppy name and attempting to ignore the strange doggy noises coming from their parents' bedroom. At least Katie thinks they're doggy noises. She figures her dads must be really excited about the new puppy, too.