a long goodnight
so today was my first "lord's supper" at church. that's all to tell about that.
it was funny, last thursday, before i left for houston, i was at my sister's. (spent the night there) and her and i were outside talking to this chick helen. we were talking about how tired we are of all the crying at church. i really am. and i hadnt said anything to anyone else about it. but i know tammy and i are alike in a lot of ways. her and i are the most emotional ones in our family. and when i said it, she was like, "i know...i'm tired of it, too."
her and i are kind of going through the same things, even if she doesn't know it. like, it's the same...but her thing with brian is still different. she's gotten in the past year or so to where she won't even listen to sad songs. she doesn't want to cry anymore, at all. i mean, i get tired of the crying at church and shit...but im an emo kid, i'll always love the sad songs. it's just weird. i don't know where i'm going with that. so i'll stop.
the rest of the day was reallyyy good till amy and i got into it. all this drama is too much for me. i reallyyy don't know how to handle it anymore.
so that got me all upset and in a bad mood. and i decided i needed to chill. so i went and hung out with my mom for a little bit and i asked her if i could do something. she said yes. then when my stepdad saw me and asked me about it, my mom was like, "i said she could.." he got kinda mad and said something to the effect of, "noone listens to a damn thing i say around here anyway." then that made me mad bc before, when i was younger, like...15 and younger....there were also arguements, and they were my fault. bc my mom would take my side and that would cause them to argue. and it reminded me of that and i told my mom, "you know, you two will probably be SO happy when i'm gone for good and you won't have to argue bc of me anymore..." and she was like, "lindsey, that's ridiculous, no we won't." and i argued, bc i really do think it's true. and i told her that. i just...all that shit with amy made me irritable and not care. i had a mini blow-up. then i felt bad, but not really. bc its true, at least i think so.
anywho, changed the whooooole look of my journal and changed all my icons...
that would be all.
it was funny, last thursday, before i left for houston, i was at my sister's. (spent the night there) and her and i were outside talking to this chick helen. we were talking about how tired we are of all the crying at church. i really am. and i hadnt said anything to anyone else about it. but i know tammy and i are alike in a lot of ways. her and i are the most emotional ones in our family. and when i said it, she was like, "i know...i'm tired of it, too."
her and i are kind of going through the same things, even if she doesn't know it. like, it's the same...but her thing with brian is still different. she's gotten in the past year or so to where she won't even listen to sad songs. she doesn't want to cry anymore, at all. i mean, i get tired of the crying at church and shit...but im an emo kid, i'll always love the sad songs. it's just weird. i don't know where i'm going with that. so i'll stop.
the rest of the day was reallyyy good till amy and i got into it. all this drama is too much for me. i reallyyy don't know how to handle it anymore.
so that got me all upset and in a bad mood. and i decided i needed to chill. so i went and hung out with my mom for a little bit and i asked her if i could do something. she said yes. then when my stepdad saw me and asked me about it, my mom was like, "i said she could.." he got kinda mad and said something to the effect of, "noone listens to a damn thing i say around here anyway." then that made me mad bc before, when i was younger, like...15 and younger....there were also arguements, and they were my fault. bc my mom would take my side and that would cause them to argue. and it reminded me of that and i told my mom, "you know, you two will probably be SO happy when i'm gone for good and you won't have to argue bc of me anymore..." and she was like, "lindsey, that's ridiculous, no we won't." and i argued, bc i really do think it's true. and i told her that. i just...all that shit with amy made me irritable and not care. i had a mini blow-up. then i felt bad, but not really. bc its true, at least i think so.
anywho, changed the whooooole look of my journal and changed all my icons...
that would be all.