beauty walks beside me...
it's so funny to me how i like to forget the Lord...or try to. like it's even possible or something. like someone so cleverly pointed out to me: when Jesus was walking on the water he was 'about to pass them (the disciples) by' because they were paddling so hard through the storm and didn't even recognize him. which got me thinking. how many times have i missed the Lord because i was so focused on what was going on in my life? how many times have i missed freaking miracles because i thought i couldn't get through the storm if i took my eyes off of it. acting like i actually have something to do with the duration of the storm. jesus told them to get in the boat and obivously he knew they were about to hit a storm. and all i had to do was look up and whisper his name. i've had storms where i didn't see the Lord at all. storms that i look back on and learn from instead of looking up and learning. clinging to the pain and not even remembering the lesson the Lord was teaching me...how many times do i have to go through things to learn? how many times do i have to go through things to teach this body to look up and recognize my Lord???? oh how i love revelation. i just love reading scripture for years thinking one thing and then all the sudden the Lord brings something else up and rocks the boat (no pun intended...well maybe just a little). i love the Lord calling me out....like he did this week. "LOOK UP JAMIE!" i feel him saying. maybe even with the walking on the water the Lord was teaching the disciples what life is like without Him. i sure know what it tastes like to walk without Him...acting so arrogant as to think "i've got it." the more i give to the Lord, the more i depend on the Lord, the more i need Him....kinda like a drug...jesus crack. i like jesus crack. i want to be addicted to it. i want to be worthless without it. i want to wake up and think about it. taste it. long for it. jesus crack.....i like that...