Ambush Bug Presents #3

[the_ambush_bug]

Comments

[jla_villains]

The camera pans over to the villain, working away behind a mix of synthesizers and steel drums.

"Ya, nice to be here, mon. I don't get near enough screen time dese days."

The accent is pronounced.

[the_ambush_bug]

"Wait, wait. Hold the phone. Didn't we do this gag last time, with Mr. Sonar? Sheesh, that guy even lied about where he was from. Let me guess, you were dubbed for American audiences?"

[jla_villains]

"No way, mon. In addition to me college education, I graduated from Julliard. I can do lots of accents. I just talk dis way to be more comfy."

[the_ambush_bug]

"College, eh? What did you study?"

[the_ambush_bug]

"Allright! Well, I tried to arrange a very special co-host for this week's show, but he was overpowered by his sideburns at the last moment. Still, I've managed to get him on the phone, so.. say hello, Jericho!"

Silence.

"Jericho?"

"Jerry?"

"Jer?"

"Juh?"

There's a pained glance to the audience, and a swift decision. "Okay, on with the next segment!"

[the_ambush_bug]

There's a zip-pan, and the sound of a teleportation, and the camera finds Ambush Bug standing behind a little table, wearing a turban.

He holds an envelope up to the turban. "Pantha, Baby Wildebeest, and Lambda Lambda Lambda."

He opens the envelope, taking out the paper inside and reading it aloud. "Name a cat, a brat, and a frat."

[jla_villains]

He plays another drum sting.

[the_ambush_bug]

"Allright! Well, since I couldn't get a co-host, I decided you folks should get a little more for your entertainment dollar, so I booked a guest! That's right - and keeping with this week's theme, here he is - the most deadly foe the Teen Titans have ever faced - Slade Wilson!"

[wadewilson]

From behind the curtain, Deadpool steps out, dressed to the nines, but with the pelt of Anime Emoticon Beast Boy from that cartoon slung over his shoulder, spinning a gun on his finger, snapping rhythmically with the other hand.

Humming his own theme song. "BAAAAH ba-ba DAAAH daaaaa... da da-da-da DAH-DAAAAAAH"

Or maybe Johnny Carson's theme.

[the_ambush_bug]

Ambush Bug leads the applause, but the audience seems to falter, puzzled at the unfamiliar figure before them.

He moves to sit behind the big desk, taking up the cards with interview questions. "Please, please, have a seat."

[wadewilson]

Deadpool hops up on the Bug's desk, struts over it, and plops down into the seat next to him, putting his feet up on the table.

"Buggaboo! Ya buggin' what ya buggin' who ya buggin' me and can't ya see it ain't cool! What's the haps, my good man?"

He slaps the pelt down on the desk (incidentally, the face on the pelt is going ;_;) and pats the Bug on the head. "I come bearing gifts! Now can we get one of those hot-ass orange chicks to come bare something else?"

[starfire_kory]

"Deathstroke!" The studio doors burst into flame as Starfire enters. "You motherless--"

Pause in midair.

"You're not Deathstroke." Angry glare at the Bug. "You lied."

[jla_villains]

He manages to pull himself off of the floor long enough to play a dramatic music sting.

"Dun Dun DUNNNNN!"

[the_ambush_bug]

"Lied? What?"

He blinks, torn between being afraid of the angry orange lady, and looking with confusion at his guest. "You're Slade Wilson, right?"

[wadewilson]

"No, I'm not Deathstroke, but I have all his albums!"

He straightens up and channels Shatner for the hot orange chick.

"Your... strangealienwords are... somewhat... confusing. Iseektounderstandbut... I... could... usesomehelp. On my home planet... we... communicate... through... a highlyintricateseriesofspecialfullbodydances... which... to be done... properly... mustbedonewithoutclothing!"

[the_ambush_bug]

"Well, well, well! A real live Teen Titan. That sorta makes up for the whole not-Deathstroke thing, right?"

The audience applauds weakly.

"And while we bid them adieu, and offer some lovely parting gifts for not blowing us all to smithereens, I'll open the lines up for phone calls."

[lord_neron]

"Yes, I have a question."

[the_ambush_bug]

"Go ahead, caller, you're on the air!"

[lord_neron]

"Why isn't your show more feel-good? Why does it have to be so depressing all the time? Why doesn't it have some good old-fashioned feel-good moments, like tortures, maimings, and genocide? Or the more subtle amusement of shattering a person's soul just to watch it fragment?"