Just Venting
I've been trying to work through some childhood experiences that got set off by reading one of the references that Val posted last week or before. Actually it was a link from one of the pages she referenced, that was about Homosexuality, and specifically about speculation, based upon research on how Homosexuality would likely develop. It described a personality type, but called it boys that were born with attributes that otherwise would be considered giftedness, but in the young it just makes him "different". He finds himself not fitting in with the rough and tumble play style of most boys. Also with most cases it claimed that the boy's Father, for whatever reason, fails to establish a close relationship with this young boy. One of the common reasons mentioned was that though the Father is otherwise a good person, he never quite figures out how to relate. I expect this might be what happened in my case, but I remember from somewhere, having the opinion that my parents, though they were sweet and kind, could not be trusted with my inner thoughts and feelings, and I remember spending a lot of time with my Father, but I don't remember him spending much time with me.
There was a third attribute that they claimed was common in Homosexuals, and that being that as boys they only desired to be hugged, and spent great time with but because they couldn't get this connection they withdrew out of self protection. This part I relate to, but this site claimed that they also found closeness with older boys. That part didn't happen to me. I felt rejected by older boys too. I remember for some reason, a conversation when I was over at a neighbor's house, spending time with their son who was three years my senior, and he was asking me if I had every heard of Alaska. I was in First Grade and he was in Fourth, and had just been studying the subject. I had not heard of Alaska. You've never heard of Alaska? How about Hawaii? This was before Hawaii became the 50'th state. He said, "I can't believe you. Don't you ever listen to current events?" We didn't exactly become close friends.
I stumbled onto a website that was speaking of women's opinions of penal sizes, and that they could care less. That it's men who get all bent out of shape about it, and suggested that men wouldn't develop low self esteem about it if they stopped comparing sizes with one another. I thought these comments revealed distinct naivity. When I was in college, I read about a study done on Reises Monkeys that revealed that penal size was what determined the social structure among the males. Those with larger organs lorded over those with smaller. To be honest I see no difference in these Monkey behaviors, and the way I was treated in Jr. High Gym Class. How does one go about ignoring these differences when they get rubbed in your face. The well endowed loved to tease and make fun or the lessor endowed boys. After being pointed at while laughing and saying "Look! What a pretty flower" a couple of times, I stopped taking showers after working out in gym class. I still remember the surprise I felt the first time I got to see the girl's dressing room in that school. Evidently girls were considered to be more sensitive than boys. They got to shower in individual shower stalls.
There was a third attribute that they claimed was common in Homosexuals, and that being that as boys they only desired to be hugged, and spent great time with but because they couldn't get this connection they withdrew out of self protection. This part I relate to, but this site claimed that they also found closeness with older boys. That part didn't happen to me. I felt rejected by older boys too. I remember for some reason, a conversation when I was over at a neighbor's house, spending time with their son who was three years my senior, and he was asking me if I had every heard of Alaska. I was in First Grade and he was in Fourth, and had just been studying the subject. I had not heard of Alaska. You've never heard of Alaska? How about Hawaii? This was before Hawaii became the 50'th state. He said, "I can't believe you. Don't you ever listen to current events?" We didn't exactly become close friends.
I stumbled onto a website that was speaking of women's opinions of penal sizes, and that they could care less. That it's men who get all bent out of shape about it, and suggested that men wouldn't develop low self esteem about it if they stopped comparing sizes with one another. I thought these comments revealed distinct naivity. When I was in college, I read about a study done on Reises Monkeys that revealed that penal size was what determined the social structure among the males. Those with larger organs lorded over those with smaller. To be honest I see no difference in these Monkey behaviors, and the way I was treated in Jr. High Gym Class. How does one go about ignoring these differences when they get rubbed in your face. The well endowed loved to tease and make fun or the lessor endowed boys. After being pointed at while laughing and saying "Look! What a pretty flower" a couple of times, I stopped taking showers after working out in gym class. I still remember the surprise I felt the first time I got to see the girl's dressing room in that school. Evidently girls were considered to be more sensitive than boys. They got to shower in individual shower stalls.