(no subject)
Alright, so I think I figured out a fairly big reason why I've been feeling funny lately.
I've been really nervous when it comes to Jared. I couldn't figure out why, or what exactly I was nervous about. But I think I figured it out.
This is the longest relationship I've ever been in. Not to mention its the first real relationship, and by real I mean I actually get to see Jared and do things with him and its not just over the phone.
Its getting close to a year =), and I couldn't be happier about that.
Yet at the same time its so weird, because usually by this time I've been tossed aside, dumped, and/or replaced with someone new and better. And there is the source of the problem. There is a part of me that is still afraid that it is going to happen. I know that it isn't the case, but there is still a part of me that is scared.
It hasn't helped that he is sick and kind of out of it which makes things a little awkward. Plus I've just been feeling really self conscious the past week or so. I've been trying everything and I still feel gross.
Therefore because I feel disgusting, I feel unwantable, and feel like I could be replaced I guess.
So, yea, pretty much I'm being stupid, but at least I figured out why I'm being stupid so I can change it.
And I loooooooooooooooove him ♥
I've been really nervous when it comes to Jared. I couldn't figure out why, or what exactly I was nervous about. But I think I figured it out.
This is the longest relationship I've ever been in. Not to mention its the first real relationship, and by real I mean I actually get to see Jared and do things with him and its not just over the phone.
Its getting close to a year =), and I couldn't be happier about that.
Yet at the same time its so weird, because usually by this time I've been tossed aside, dumped, and/or replaced with someone new and better. And there is the source of the problem. There is a part of me that is still afraid that it is going to happen. I know that it isn't the case, but there is still a part of me that is scared.
It hasn't helped that he is sick and kind of out of it which makes things a little awkward. Plus I've just been feeling really self conscious the past week or so. I've been trying everything and I still feel gross.
Therefore because I feel disgusting, I feel unwantable, and feel like I could be replaced I guess.
So, yea, pretty much I'm being stupid, but at least I figured out why I'm being stupid so I can change it.
And I loooooooooooooooove him ♥