248.

[watching_ghosts]

The only thing I had seen of the Castle finale was the picture of the[spoiler]swingset, and I'd tried so hard to avoid worrying about the outcome. So I ended up going into this episode with very few expectations and I was so not emotionally prepared for what happened. Not at all prepared.

[castle - spoilers]

• I wasn't a big fan of the case. It would have been fine for a normal episode, but it didn't feel big enough for a season finale. And I know it's a procedural, but I would have been happy to watch 40 minutes of talking tbh. I wasn't interested in who the killer was, and I feel like more talking is exactly what is needed in this show. (But more on that later.)
• I'm glad they talked about Paris. I wanted that to be more of an issue after it happened, but it seemed to just all be okay again, so I liked that we got that scene. I don't like Alexis a whole lot, but I do really love Castle's relationship with her, so the little scenes between the two of them, like that, are so great <3
• I really loved all the talking scenes that we did get. The Beckett/Lanie scene was so wonderful. I wish we got more conversations like that because I love their friendship so much and especially these sorts of moments. It sucks that it doesn't happen more than once or twice a season. And the scene between Beckett and her dad was really good. I always enjoy seeing those two together because he knows her so much better than anyone else and seeing someone call her out on stuff like running away from her relationships is really good.
• And then Castle's talk with Martha was a++++ I love how well Martha and Jim know their kids and I just want the two of them to force Castle and Beckett to sit down and talk to each other, for once, instead of everyone else.
• When Ryan told Espo about Jenny's pregnancy :'''')
• I loved Esposito through this whole episode though. I will never not love his friendship with Beckett.
• I'm so proud of Beckett for getting the job. At the beginning, when the guy interviewing her seemed to be questioning if she thought she was right for the role, I was legit screaming at my laptop that she's better than anyone else applying for that job. I really do think that she would be great at it, but I don't want her to go? She said that's not where her heart is, and you could see in that interrogation scene how much she loves the 12th. Idk. More than anything I just want her to be happy, whatever that means.
• Gates is so wonderful :D I never expected to love her as much as I do now.

• THEN THE LAST SCENE HAPPENED AND FEELINGS. It has taken me all day to properly come to terms with how I'm feeling and I'm still not sure I'm going to be able to put this into words, but let's try it.
• I don't think that Castle and Beckett should be getting engaged yet. Not until they have talked through all of the things that have been going on between them recently, all the things they talked about to Lanie and Jim and Martha, but not each other. I think they should get all of that out of the way, before they take that step, and then they would be in a better place in their relationship to move forward from.
• BUT, I think that proposing was very in character for Castle. Castle isn't the most rational person, he so often acts on his emotions and will go after what he wants with everything he has. So this makes sense to me. And the fact that he said 'whatever happens, whatever you decide' <3, he's not giving her an ultimatum and he's showing her that he will be there with her no matter what and I love that so much. He probably (definitely) hasn't chosen the best way to try and show her that, but that is what he's trying to do and there is no way that I could hate that.
• And I think that this could pave the way for Castle and Beckett to talk about all those things that they have been putting off. I think Beckett will say no, or not yet, and I think then he will ask again (or she will!) later, when they aren't fighting and when things aren't so serious and complicated. And then we'll get the kind of proposal we'd been hoping for.
• Basically, I think that the proposal is the wrong thing for Castle to do, but the right thing for the story Marlowe is trying to tell. If that makes any sense? Castle has acted rashly, and possibly made a mistake, but he's human, he's scared and he's hurting and it makes sense for him to react like that. But it makes sense. And it's left us with what I think is one of the biggest cliffhangers on the show. (Season one: we knew Castle and Beckett would make up and work together again. Season two: we knew Castle would come back to the precinct. Season three: we knew Beckett would live. Season four: ...we all knew what they were going to do.) This year I'm genuinely curious as to how they two of them are going to move forward, both Beckett on her own and Castle and Beckett as a couple. I don't know what is going to happen, and I love that!