(no subject)
i cant do this anymore, i just keep trying to cover it up and cover it up but its not going to go away. it never does. everything i try to tell myself and other people, its not real and its not the truth. things dont fix themselves alone and theres nothing i feel like i can do. the one thing i wish i could change is the one thing i dont want to do without and its barely bareable. im on the edge of circle and i want to fall off but im just cycling and it doesnt stop. i want to go far away from here but there something that stops me and it hurts. i hate falling down and being helpless but i cant help it. it makes me to think that i cant help myself when im the only one to depend on. im hoping that this year will be amazing, but look how it started out..i got trashed on new years eve and then 3 days later. way to solve your problems, jane. good luck with that. i just want to be okay with myself and other people and it doesnt happen, everyday i worry about everything trying to be carefree and i cant stand it. for once id like to have real feelings and just be happy. that is my ultimate goal that i hope to reach through ths year. after may i cant wait to stop worrying about school because it'll all be done with. then theres other things that wont go away.