Arashi ("Storm"): A NOIR fic (5 of ?)
Title: Arashi ("Storm"): A NOIR fic
Author: Wye (w.y.back)
Fandom: NOIR (the anime)
Pairing: Mireille / Kirika
Rating: R, may be higher later
Disclaimer: "NOIR" and its characters are the property of Bee Train and its creators. I'm just taking them for a strictly non-profit spin. The only thing that's mine is the story below.
Spoilers: Just to be safe, everything NOIR (the anime).
Author’s Notes: So many things, some ridiculously wonderful and others horribly bad, got in the way of this chapter and writing in general. I wasn’t planning to take a break from writing (or even reading!!!) fanfics for almost a year but life needed my complete attention for awhile. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and fed the muse during that time, sorry she was absent for so long. Thanks also to xxmadlaxx for squeezing some beta-ing into her busy schedule! This is probably the second to the last chapter of “Arashi.” Hope you like it!
Previous chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">5: STORM
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Outside their apartment, the weather got worse. A downpour began and the wind picked up, blowing so hard that Mireille slipped into a pair of jeans and went to close the windows. She insisted that Kirika change out of her soaked clothes and take her much-delayed shower.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">By the time Kirika emerged, supper was laid out on the table and the wine she'd risked pneumonia for was being poured into two glasses. Which was good, because a part of Kirika was still reeling from Mireille’s demand. Though she had instigated this night, she'd never expected this outcome.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">The women ate slowly, lingering over hot onion soup and boeuf a la mode that offered a good counterpoint to the increasingly chilly weather. Their conversation steered carefully along safe topics, and it was only midway through the meal that Kirika realized that they were both playing for time. Maybe she wasn’t the only one who dreaded what was to follow...
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">To her relief, Kirika learned that there were no contracts while she was gone, nor were there plans to resurrect Noir. Instead, Mireille talked about the security consulting job that had practically dropped into her lap, and how the Bouquet family’s funds - the bulk of which they'd left behind when she and her uncle fled Corsica - had suddenly become accessible.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“So you see, if you do want to go to college it’s not so hard anymore,” Mireille explained.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Kirika chewed as she mulled over their literal change in fortune. “The Soldats?”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Mireille nodded. “Breffort’s hand is all over this. It feels like a bribe or some kind of messed-up apology. Someone made a mistake when they tried to sanction me last year. I think it suits the current leaders for Noir to be, if not exactly on their side, at least inactive.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"Maybe they still want you to join them."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"Us," the blonde corrected. "Remember, they wanted you too." She noticed a little shiver come upon Kirika, and berated herself for mentioning the touchy subject. “How about you?” she asked, switching topics. “Did anything interesting happen in Lyon?”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Kirika shrugged. “Nothing much,” she said between bites. “I stabbed a man once.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Mireille nearly choked on her soup. “You what?! When?”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Last year,” was the matter-of-fact reply. Kirika took a sip of wine. “I wanted to get to know the city and…I was bored,” she admitted sheepishly. “I went out after everyone was asleep and explored. On my way back, I saw a man and a woman in an alley. He had a knife to her throat and he was ripping her clothes. I hit him but he tried to fight back, so I grabbed the knife and stabbed him in the hand to keep him still. The woman ran but it's funny, she stopped to thank me first. Don’t worry,” she assured Mireille earnestly, “it was dark. Neither of them got a look at me.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Oh.” Mireille cleared her throat and continued to eat. “Well…good.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">They finished their meal, put away the leftovers, and washed and dried the dishes side by side with the ease of people who’d done the same exact thing dozens of times before. It was companionable and easy, and so much like old times that Kirika wished the moment would last forever.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">But of course time didn’t even slow, and when Kirika was done with the last dish and moved to put it away, she found Mireille already seated back at the table and nursing another glass of wine. At least she liked what I picked out. Kirika went to join her.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Do you remember?” the blonde asked softly. There was no need to explain what she meant.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Kirika wished that she could say no and plead that this too was a part of her blurred recollection. There were portions of her life that were still blank, and more that she half-sensed were better forgotten. But this - no matter how she wished differently, since Chloe had given this memory back to her it was as clear as crystal in her mind. “Yes.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Tell me.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">The quiet words were as unyielding a command as she had ever been given. Haltingly, Kirika obeyed.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">***
Calibri">…Her first memory was of metal. How cold and heavy the steel of the worn pistol, old before she’d even been born, felt in her tiny hands. Kirika’s steps carried her forward until she entered a large, ornate room, huge and opulent to her child’s eyes.
Calibri">A well-dressed couple sat at the table. They were a strange pair: the man brawny and grim-looking though he made an effort to smile, the woman delicate and graciously aristocratic in bearing, a lady in every sense of the word. They chatted while their son quietly read a book from the floor. The man checked his watch. A startlingly clear, chime-like melody played as he snapped it open.
Calibri">The second he spotted Kirika, his expression changed. ‘Calibri">He knows,’ she understood at once. She raised the loaded gun. The man dropped the watch and lunged protectively towards his wife and son while trying to draw his weapon at the same time.
Calibri">She shot him. He was the biggest threat in the room and it was a basic lesson drilled into her to neutralize the most dangerous element first. The heavy gun bucked twice in her small hands, and though the shots weren’t that clean, she was too close and well-trained to miss.
Calibri">When the boy scrambled to his feet and began to cry and shout for help, he went next. This time the act was almost automatic. At least those shots were better, quicker.
Calibri">Kirika sensed Chloe’s timid approach from somewhere behind her. They had both been sent for this, but Chloe was new and it wasn’t clear yet whether she’d make a good sapling. With Chloe at her back, Kirika allowed herself a moment’s respite. Her little girl’s arms were tiring from the effort it took to keep the heavy gun level, and her hands were beginning to ache from the kick of the successive shots. Altena was right to choose this smaller pistol for her even if she couldn’t quite handle it yet.
Calibri">Then the lady - Kirika remembered that her name was Odette Bouquet - began to speak, and though Kirika tried to keep her expression impassive, she couldn’t help but listen. 'After all, we’re not monsters.' Hadn’t Altena said that?
Calibri">Hadn’t Altena warned them that there would be targets such as this, who would show such beautifully human courage that Kirika would be tempted from her duty? This genteel woman, with her upswept blond hair, refined features and desolate eyes, knew death was imminent. But she was facing it with dignity and love for her daughter foremost. The least she deserved was Kirika’s respect.
Calibri">“Take care of Mireille," she was saying. Kirika wasn’t sure who ‘Mireille’ was, but she guessed it was her daughter. "Both you and Mireille will face harsh trials in the future. Please lend her your strength.” The words flowed as kindly as if Odette Bouquet was speaking to a child and not to her family's killer. That she knew who'd sent Kirika was proven by her last words. "To be sure love can kill. But always remember, hate can never save.”
Calibri">It was with some regret that Kirika took the woman’s life. This time she made sure it happened with a single, clean shot. It was the least she could do for such a brave lady. The little girls left quickly after, mere seconds before another door to the room opened, and another life irrevocably changed…
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">***
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">The more Kirika talked, the more Mireille felt as if the air was slowly being drained out of the room. At the back of her mind, she was aware that if she clutched the stem of her wine glass with an inch more of pressure, it would break. It was like being in a bubble where everything was hazy and muted. When she tried to move her hand, it was like pushing through syrup.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Mireille too had killed. She had no romantic notions. When she couldn't help herself, she'd used that knowledge to try to piece her family's last moments together. But guessing was an entirely different thing from knowing. She didn't need to interpret the patterns of pooled blood and lifeless bodies anymore because Kirika had just painted a moving picture for her. Mireille knew what death looked like, the coppery stink of blood, the mess of spilled guts and offal. In the end, that was what her family was reduced to.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“They loved you.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">The quivering, wistful words dragged Mireille back to the present, to the girl who was resolutely avoiding her eyes. Kirika looked drawn, as if the telling had cost her.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Mireille did not - could not care. The old ache of her family’s death that she always carried sprung to new life and enveloped her. She didn't realize that tears were streaming down her face until she opened her mouth to speak and tasted the salt on her lips. "I was supposed to be there."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Kirika looked stunned. For some reason it had never occurred to her, that a few seconds might be all that had separated her and Mireille from a first meeting drenched in blood.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"I wasn't because I woke up late. That’s all." Mireille wanted to laugh but choked back a sob instead. To think that something so paltry was all that separated life from death. "When Papa and Mama told us that we were going on a long vacation, I was so excited that I couldn’t sleep. I didn't get up on time. My brother teased me and called me a sleepyhead. If I had been on time, I would’ve been there when you came."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">She angrily wiped at her tears. "But so what, right? Even if I’d been there, it's not like I could've stopped you. What were you, eight? And you already knew how to kill. Papa had guns but he kept them away from me. He said I was too young."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">It was too much to bear, and as often happened the pain morphed into a simmering hate towards everyone involved in the whole damn mess - at the Soldats and Altena for their meaningless power plays, at Kirika for being an exceptional weapon, and most especially at Mireille herself. ‘Why didn't they just give up on me?’ she wanted to cry. Her parents had ruled Corsica as members of the Soldats. Surely they were aware of how ruthless the organization could be. Didn't they know that as young as she was, if Mireille had known the cost she would have chosen to go herself?
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"What was it all for? To punish them because they fought for the weakest sapling?" she asked through gritted teeth. "And why my brother? He was a child, no threat to anybody."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"He was loud," Kirika's mournful tone belied the matter-of-fact reasoning of an assassin, "and he..." She hesitated.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"He saw you," Mireille finished grimly. "He saw you and Chloe." Suddenly she lashed out, "Did you do that often, kill children?"
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Kirika's head reeled back as if she'd been slapped. It was a question she’d never thought to ask herself, and in truth she had no idea. "You never have?"
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"I picked my assignments. Everyone I dealt with knew I had rules, lines I wouldn't cross."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"I don't know if there were other children," she answered as honestly as she could. "I never had a choice, only orders."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“And if I had been there?” Mireille probed.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Kirika’s recoiled from the question in horror. “I - I wouldn’t have!” But an inner voice answered differently - You were trained to obey.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Oh? And why not? All I knew back then were dolls and pretty dresses,” she scoffed. “I would’ve been an easy target.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Please, Mireille…” I might have. I had a gun, I could have. She was no match for me.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“I would’ve screamed,” the blonde persisted. Taken to its logical conclusion, why wouldn’t she have ended up the same way? “Louder than my brother, I would’ve screamed for help -”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Don’t ask me this!” Kirika was sobbing. An empty void yawned inside of her and she teetered on its edge. Years of barely remembered indoctrination beckoned to her. Let go, it said, retreat here where it's safe, where nothing hurts.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">She jumped to her feet, every instinct screaming flight in the face of something as intolerable and unthinkable as Mireille's death at her hands. She fled towards the middle of the room and retreated towards the pool table, desperate for distance.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Mireille heard the entreaty but was too deep in her own nightmare to be deterred. She pushed her chair back and followed until she was standing toe to toe with the terrified girl. “I wouldn’t have given you a choice," she declared with certainty, "not with my family’s bodies lying at my feet.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">When Kirika tried to turn her head, Mireille grabbed her chin. Eyes of fragmented cerulean met a desperate gaze that gleamed with flecks of amber. Only then did Mireille realize what was happening to her partner. Noir was near.
Calibri">Maybe this is the way it should be. “I would’ve grabbed my father’s gun,” she continued, relentless in her despair. “He didn’t want to teach me, but my uncle showed me how.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Stop.” The plea was filled with tears, but under those tears, honey brown was giving way to an ever deepening red.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Papa’s gun was a revolver. It wouldn’t have been hard to figure out.” Though Mireille released her hold, this time the narrowed eyes didn’t look away. She was aware that their weapons, newly cleaned and gleaming, lay on the pool table mere inches away.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Mireille.”
Calibri">There. mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">The blonde assassin shivered. Even the way Kirika said her name was different, cold and sibilant, like a snake poised to strike. The last time she’d heard that voice, shots had rung out seeking her blood.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Outside, the storm intensified. Lightning crashed and a window blew open. The lights flickered.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">In that instant Mireille’s Walther was in her right hand, ready to fire with the pull of a trigger. “I would’ve hated you enough to try.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Before the first word was out, Kirika, in a reflex as automatic to her as breathing, seized her weapon from the table. The Beretta slipped into her hand naturally, as familiar an extension to her arm as her own fingers. She snapped the slide to readiness and raised it.
Calibri">She’s so good. Mireille’s smile was sadder than tears. “Fight me.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">The booming sound of thunder filled the room. The lights flickered again, then completely blacked out as both women stood in their silent tableau, with guns aimed point-blank at each other.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Mireille's heart pounded rapidly in her ears. Her finger tightened imperceptibly on the trigger, ready at any sign from Kirika to squeeze. But neither woman moved as the next jagged bolt of lightning flashed and emergency lights from a nearby building sputtered to life, illuminating the room with an eerie glow.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“You would’ve lost.” The shadow of Noir shaded every inch of Kirika, from her slitted, crimson gaze to the steady extension of her weapon and her nearly predatory stance.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Only after you killed me,” Mireille replied with equal cool.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">A single shake of the head. “You were a sapling. You weren't a part of my orders. I would’ve taken you, wounded you at the most.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Don’t pretend it wouldn’t have ended up the same!” Mireille countered bitterly. “One day we would’ve fought at the ritual. Noir only required two maidens, remember? Chloe was pretty sure that it was meant to be the two of you.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Chloe…” For a second there was a flicker of regret in the way Kirika said the girl's name. So young, so needlessly lost. Then she straightened and the moment passed. “Chloe never understood. She made herself into an implacable weapon. She was a mirror to my other self, her skills nearly a match to mine. But I was already that weapon. What could she have brought to Noir that I did not already?”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">The sheer audacity of the callous statement took Mireille aback. "I’m sure that's not how Altena saw it."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"Altena’s only concern was Le Grand Retour," Kirika shrugged. “Chloe and I were like two swords, effective but always direct. But you - your family loved you, and that fact marks you even now. You move easily in the world. You’re comfortable in it, you live in the middle of a city. On your own, you created a network of contacts and became an assassin but by ways that I can’t do or understand. I'm told who and where my target is. I don't pull up building plans, research sites, news and social media profiles,” she recited Mireille's methodology with a precision borne of familiarity. “Even Altena would’ve seen that eventually." Her mouth curved in a taunting smile. "There's a reason why you were chosen to be the sapling set loose on the world. You're not an innocent."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Mireille seethed with the urge to slap her. "I never claimed to be innocent! But what options did you and Altena leave me, the surviving orphan of a Corsican mob boss? When people were hunting me down?"
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"You could've run. Others have," Kirika observed caustically. “In the end, you chose to be a killer. Oh Mireille, if we had truly become Noir…” She closed her eyes briefly and let herself sink into that world. “We would’ve been partners in every sense of the word. I would’ve been sister, friend and lover to you, a sinner and murderer with the blackest of hands by your side. To the end.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">If Mireille was shaken by the unerring logic, she did not show it. “But that's not where we are now."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"No," Kirika agreed softly. "Which is why all I can do is offer.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">She moved forward until the end of Mireille's gun rested squarely against her chest. Kirika didn’t show the slightest fear as she lowered the Beretta until it lay uselessly by her side. “For the last time, I’m offering you my death. I am not the other side of Noir to you. I’m not the Soldats’ nor anyone else’s weapon…except yours. I cannot atone. But if you don’t fulfill our promise now, that is how I will try.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Cerulean eyes flickered to her in confusion. "What do you mean?"
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"I am Noir in all the ways that matter. Fulfill our promise and finish me...or use me for your vengeance. Unleash me against the Soldats."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">When Mireille did not speak or otherwise react, Kirika tightened her grasp on her Beretta. Eight, it came to her immediately, seven in the clip and one chambered at all times. "Or would you prefer...?"
Calibri">Maybe there is another way I can atone. Calibri">The thought was merely half-formed, her gun hand only starting to rise towards her head, when Mireille, in one smooth, blindingly fast motion, dropped her own gun and snatched Kirika's pistol away.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"You will never again use this to hurt anyone that I love!" Mireille was marble-pale and hard-eyed in the dim light, a goddess who was the epitome of rage. The Beretta seemed to disintegrate in her capable hands. It was field-stripped in seconds, the parts flung with contempt. "What the hell, Kirika?!"
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">But Kirika was lost again, this time in the past. Despair is not achieved through unrelenting pain. Was this voice Altena's or did it belong to another? Human beings can be strong. Expose them to suffering and somehow they'll adapt. But if you want to break a person, grant them a moment of happiness. It will provide a framework for their suffering and suddenly all will seem unbearable...
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">What had Mireille said? 'Haven’t you learned by now that love is the most dangerous thing in the world?' Was this what she'd meant? That, having tasted love, Kirika could no longer imagine a world without it? She did not want to live in a world where Mireille hated her.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"I don't know what to do anymore," Kirika whispered as the amber faded from her eyes. The dark void inside her receded, and once more she was just herself and hurting. She was so tired. "I just want to make things easier for you."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"By offering me a weapon?" Mireille took refuge in her fury as she tried to struggle past the fear that was thudding through her veins. Had Kirika really been about to...? "Or stealing a vengeance that's rightfully mine?"
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Then what do you want?” Kirika clenched her empty fists. “I wish I could take everything back. You had a family that loved you, and I took that away. I deserve -”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"Shut up!" Mireille grabbed the girl angrily until their bodies were inches apart. "You want to know what I want? I want you to stop questioning why I didn’t shoot you that night. Stop telling me that’s what you deserve! This is hard enough without that. I know what I owe to my parents, who loved me enough to defy the Soldats, and to my brother, who didn't even get to live.” She wiped clumsily at the tears that sprung to her eyes again. “I know what I’ve vowed and what I’m supposed to do. But I can’t! Above all, stop offering me your fucking death! It’s not your death I want!”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Kirika was speechless. She touched a tear falling down Mireille's cheek with reverence. 'Is she weeping for me?' she wondered in disbelief. This time the memory that came to her was one she owned from the start: her readiness to follow Altena to a fiery death and Mireille's utter refusal to let her go. Those same blue eyes were crying for her back then too. 'I'm begging you, Kirika.'
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Kirika threw her arms tightly around the blonde. She buried her face in Mireille's shoulder because she still couldn't meet her eyes. There was nothing she could do to atone. There was nothing she could do to earn forgiveness. But, nevertheless -
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"Forgive me." She felt Mireille's surprise as she begged, "I don't deserve it but maybe someday...if you can find it in your heart…" This time the tears flowing were hers. "Please forgive me."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">It seemed like an eternity before Mireille returned the embrace with the slightest pressure. "What I want,” she sighed, “is to be able to explain. One day, if there is an afterlife, I'll have to face my parents and my brother and explain to them why I failed. Why I couldn’t do my duty and avenge them.” Her voice was thick with emotion. “How do I do that, Kirika? How do I tell them why I…feel for you the way I do?”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"I don't know," Kirika replied softly. "But if that day comes, they can do what they like to me. I'll be by your side. I’ll stand with you."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"Oh? You want to stand with me? As what?" Mireille made an attempt to sound amused but they both knew she was utterly serious.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Kirika raised her head and met the questioning blue eyes gravely. "If you’ll let me...as sinner, lover and friend. To the end of our days."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Mireille took a deep breath. The first time she had made a conscious decision to save Kirika's life - not just to let her live, but to rescue her - it had resulted in the death of a dozen men. That was when she knew: the thread of fate that bound them together was sure to be black. A pitch-black thread, blacker than darkness.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">She pulled Kirika close and held her. So be it.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">
Author: Wye (w.y.back)
Fandom: NOIR (the anime)
Pairing: Mireille / Kirika
Rating: R, may be higher later
Disclaimer: "NOIR" and its characters are the property of Bee Train and its creators. I'm just taking them for a strictly non-profit spin. The only thing that's mine is the story below.
Spoilers: Just to be safe, everything NOIR (the anime).
Author’s Notes: So many things, some ridiculously wonderful and others horribly bad, got in the way of this chapter and writing in general. I wasn’t planning to take a break from writing (or even reading!!!) fanfics for almost a year but life needed my complete attention for awhile. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and fed the muse during that time, sorry she was absent for so long. Thanks also to xxmadlaxx for squeezing some beta-ing into her busy schedule! This is probably the second to the last chapter of “Arashi.” Hope you like it!
Previous chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">5: STORM
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Outside their apartment, the weather got worse. A downpour began and the wind picked up, blowing so hard that Mireille slipped into a pair of jeans and went to close the windows. She insisted that Kirika change out of her soaked clothes and take her much-delayed shower.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">By the time Kirika emerged, supper was laid out on the table and the wine she'd risked pneumonia for was being poured into two glasses. Which was good, because a part of Kirika was still reeling from Mireille’s demand. Though she had instigated this night, she'd never expected this outcome.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">The women ate slowly, lingering over hot onion soup and boeuf a la mode that offered a good counterpoint to the increasingly chilly weather. Their conversation steered carefully along safe topics, and it was only midway through the meal that Kirika realized that they were both playing for time. Maybe she wasn’t the only one who dreaded what was to follow...
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">To her relief, Kirika learned that there were no contracts while she was gone, nor were there plans to resurrect Noir. Instead, Mireille talked about the security consulting job that had practically dropped into her lap, and how the Bouquet family’s funds - the bulk of which they'd left behind when she and her uncle fled Corsica - had suddenly become accessible.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“So you see, if you do want to go to college it’s not so hard anymore,” Mireille explained.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Kirika chewed as she mulled over their literal change in fortune. “The Soldats?”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Mireille nodded. “Breffort’s hand is all over this. It feels like a bribe or some kind of messed-up apology. Someone made a mistake when they tried to sanction me last year. I think it suits the current leaders for Noir to be, if not exactly on their side, at least inactive.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"Maybe they still want you to join them."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"Us," the blonde corrected. "Remember, they wanted you too." She noticed a little shiver come upon Kirika, and berated herself for mentioning the touchy subject. “How about you?” she asked, switching topics. “Did anything interesting happen in Lyon?”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Kirika shrugged. “Nothing much,” she said between bites. “I stabbed a man once.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Mireille nearly choked on her soup. “You what?! When?”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Last year,” was the matter-of-fact reply. Kirika took a sip of wine. “I wanted to get to know the city and…I was bored,” she admitted sheepishly. “I went out after everyone was asleep and explored. On my way back, I saw a man and a woman in an alley. He had a knife to her throat and he was ripping her clothes. I hit him but he tried to fight back, so I grabbed the knife and stabbed him in the hand to keep him still. The woman ran but it's funny, she stopped to thank me first. Don’t worry,” she assured Mireille earnestly, “it was dark. Neither of them got a look at me.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Oh.” Mireille cleared her throat and continued to eat. “Well…good.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">They finished their meal, put away the leftovers, and washed and dried the dishes side by side with the ease of people who’d done the same exact thing dozens of times before. It was companionable and easy, and so much like old times that Kirika wished the moment would last forever.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">But of course time didn’t even slow, and when Kirika was done with the last dish and moved to put it away, she found Mireille already seated back at the table and nursing another glass of wine. At least she liked what I picked out. Kirika went to join her.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Do you remember?” the blonde asked softly. There was no need to explain what she meant.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Kirika wished that she could say no and plead that this too was a part of her blurred recollection. There were portions of her life that were still blank, and more that she half-sensed were better forgotten. But this - no matter how she wished differently, since Chloe had given this memory back to her it was as clear as crystal in her mind. “Yes.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Tell me.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">The quiet words were as unyielding a command as she had ever been given. Haltingly, Kirika obeyed.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">***
Calibri">…Her first memory was of metal. How cold and heavy the steel of the worn pistol, old before she’d even been born, felt in her tiny hands. Kirika’s steps carried her forward until she entered a large, ornate room, huge and opulent to her child’s eyes.
Calibri">A well-dressed couple sat at the table. They were a strange pair: the man brawny and grim-looking though he made an effort to smile, the woman delicate and graciously aristocratic in bearing, a lady in every sense of the word. They chatted while their son quietly read a book from the floor. The man checked his watch. A startlingly clear, chime-like melody played as he snapped it open.
Calibri">The second he spotted Kirika, his expression changed. ‘Calibri">He knows,’ she understood at once. She raised the loaded gun. The man dropped the watch and lunged protectively towards his wife and son while trying to draw his weapon at the same time.
Calibri">She shot him. He was the biggest threat in the room and it was a basic lesson drilled into her to neutralize the most dangerous element first. The heavy gun bucked twice in her small hands, and though the shots weren’t that clean, she was too close and well-trained to miss.
Calibri">When the boy scrambled to his feet and began to cry and shout for help, he went next. This time the act was almost automatic. At least those shots were better, quicker.
Calibri">Kirika sensed Chloe’s timid approach from somewhere behind her. They had both been sent for this, but Chloe was new and it wasn’t clear yet whether she’d make a good sapling. With Chloe at her back, Kirika allowed herself a moment’s respite. Her little girl’s arms were tiring from the effort it took to keep the heavy gun level, and her hands were beginning to ache from the kick of the successive shots. Altena was right to choose this smaller pistol for her even if she couldn’t quite handle it yet.
Calibri">Then the lady - Kirika remembered that her name was Odette Bouquet - began to speak, and though Kirika tried to keep her expression impassive, she couldn’t help but listen. 'After all, we’re not monsters.' Hadn’t Altena said that?
Calibri">Hadn’t Altena warned them that there would be targets such as this, who would show such beautifully human courage that Kirika would be tempted from her duty? This genteel woman, with her upswept blond hair, refined features and desolate eyes, knew death was imminent. But she was facing it with dignity and love for her daughter foremost. The least she deserved was Kirika’s respect.
Calibri">“Take care of Mireille," she was saying. Kirika wasn’t sure who ‘Mireille’ was, but she guessed it was her daughter. "Both you and Mireille will face harsh trials in the future. Please lend her your strength.” The words flowed as kindly as if Odette Bouquet was speaking to a child and not to her family's killer. That she knew who'd sent Kirika was proven by her last words. "To be sure love can kill. But always remember, hate can never save.”
Calibri">It was with some regret that Kirika took the woman’s life. This time she made sure it happened with a single, clean shot. It was the least she could do for such a brave lady. The little girls left quickly after, mere seconds before another door to the room opened, and another life irrevocably changed…
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">***
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">The more Kirika talked, the more Mireille felt as if the air was slowly being drained out of the room. At the back of her mind, she was aware that if she clutched the stem of her wine glass with an inch more of pressure, it would break. It was like being in a bubble where everything was hazy and muted. When she tried to move her hand, it was like pushing through syrup.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Mireille too had killed. She had no romantic notions. When she couldn't help herself, she'd used that knowledge to try to piece her family's last moments together. But guessing was an entirely different thing from knowing. She didn't need to interpret the patterns of pooled blood and lifeless bodies anymore because Kirika had just painted a moving picture for her. Mireille knew what death looked like, the coppery stink of blood, the mess of spilled guts and offal. In the end, that was what her family was reduced to.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“They loved you.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">The quivering, wistful words dragged Mireille back to the present, to the girl who was resolutely avoiding her eyes. Kirika looked drawn, as if the telling had cost her.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Mireille did not - could not care. The old ache of her family’s death that she always carried sprung to new life and enveloped her. She didn't realize that tears were streaming down her face until she opened her mouth to speak and tasted the salt on her lips. "I was supposed to be there."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Kirika looked stunned. For some reason it had never occurred to her, that a few seconds might be all that had separated her and Mireille from a first meeting drenched in blood.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"I wasn't because I woke up late. That’s all." Mireille wanted to laugh but choked back a sob instead. To think that something so paltry was all that separated life from death. "When Papa and Mama told us that we were going on a long vacation, I was so excited that I couldn’t sleep. I didn't get up on time. My brother teased me and called me a sleepyhead. If I had been on time, I would’ve been there when you came."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">She angrily wiped at her tears. "But so what, right? Even if I’d been there, it's not like I could've stopped you. What were you, eight? And you already knew how to kill. Papa had guns but he kept them away from me. He said I was too young."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">It was too much to bear, and as often happened the pain morphed into a simmering hate towards everyone involved in the whole damn mess - at the Soldats and Altena for their meaningless power plays, at Kirika for being an exceptional weapon, and most especially at Mireille herself. ‘Why didn't they just give up on me?’ she wanted to cry. Her parents had ruled Corsica as members of the Soldats. Surely they were aware of how ruthless the organization could be. Didn't they know that as young as she was, if Mireille had known the cost she would have chosen to go herself?
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"What was it all for? To punish them because they fought for the weakest sapling?" she asked through gritted teeth. "And why my brother? He was a child, no threat to anybody."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"He was loud," Kirika's mournful tone belied the matter-of-fact reasoning of an assassin, "and he..." She hesitated.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"He saw you," Mireille finished grimly. "He saw you and Chloe." Suddenly she lashed out, "Did you do that often, kill children?"
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Kirika's head reeled back as if she'd been slapped. It was a question she’d never thought to ask herself, and in truth she had no idea. "You never have?"
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"I picked my assignments. Everyone I dealt with knew I had rules, lines I wouldn't cross."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"I don't know if there were other children," she answered as honestly as she could. "I never had a choice, only orders."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“And if I had been there?” Mireille probed.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Kirika’s recoiled from the question in horror. “I - I wouldn’t have!” But an inner voice answered differently - You were trained to obey.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Oh? And why not? All I knew back then were dolls and pretty dresses,” she scoffed. “I would’ve been an easy target.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Please, Mireille…” I might have. I had a gun, I could have. She was no match for me.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“I would’ve screamed,” the blonde persisted. Taken to its logical conclusion, why wouldn’t she have ended up the same way? “Louder than my brother, I would’ve screamed for help -”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Don’t ask me this!” Kirika was sobbing. An empty void yawned inside of her and she teetered on its edge. Years of barely remembered indoctrination beckoned to her. Let go, it said, retreat here where it's safe, where nothing hurts.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">She jumped to her feet, every instinct screaming flight in the face of something as intolerable and unthinkable as Mireille's death at her hands. She fled towards the middle of the room and retreated towards the pool table, desperate for distance.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Mireille heard the entreaty but was too deep in her own nightmare to be deterred. She pushed her chair back and followed until she was standing toe to toe with the terrified girl. “I wouldn’t have given you a choice," she declared with certainty, "not with my family’s bodies lying at my feet.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">When Kirika tried to turn her head, Mireille grabbed her chin. Eyes of fragmented cerulean met a desperate gaze that gleamed with flecks of amber. Only then did Mireille realize what was happening to her partner. Noir was near.
Calibri">Maybe this is the way it should be. “I would’ve grabbed my father’s gun,” she continued, relentless in her despair. “He didn’t want to teach me, but my uncle showed me how.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Stop.” The plea was filled with tears, but under those tears, honey brown was giving way to an ever deepening red.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Papa’s gun was a revolver. It wouldn’t have been hard to figure out.” Though Mireille released her hold, this time the narrowed eyes didn’t look away. She was aware that their weapons, newly cleaned and gleaming, lay on the pool table mere inches away.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Mireille.”
Calibri">There. mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">The blonde assassin shivered. Even the way Kirika said her name was different, cold and sibilant, like a snake poised to strike. The last time she’d heard that voice, shots had rung out seeking her blood.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Outside, the storm intensified. Lightning crashed and a window blew open. The lights flickered.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">In that instant Mireille’s Walther was in her right hand, ready to fire with the pull of a trigger. “I would’ve hated you enough to try.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Before the first word was out, Kirika, in a reflex as automatic to her as breathing, seized her weapon from the table. The Beretta slipped into her hand naturally, as familiar an extension to her arm as her own fingers. She snapped the slide to readiness and raised it.
Calibri">She’s so good. Mireille’s smile was sadder than tears. “Fight me.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">The booming sound of thunder filled the room. The lights flickered again, then completely blacked out as both women stood in their silent tableau, with guns aimed point-blank at each other.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Mireille's heart pounded rapidly in her ears. Her finger tightened imperceptibly on the trigger, ready at any sign from Kirika to squeeze. But neither woman moved as the next jagged bolt of lightning flashed and emergency lights from a nearby building sputtered to life, illuminating the room with an eerie glow.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“You would’ve lost.” The shadow of Noir shaded every inch of Kirika, from her slitted, crimson gaze to the steady extension of her weapon and her nearly predatory stance.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Only after you killed me,” Mireille replied with equal cool.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">A single shake of the head. “You were a sapling. You weren't a part of my orders. I would’ve taken you, wounded you at the most.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Don’t pretend it wouldn’t have ended up the same!” Mireille countered bitterly. “One day we would’ve fought at the ritual. Noir only required two maidens, remember? Chloe was pretty sure that it was meant to be the two of you.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Chloe…” For a second there was a flicker of regret in the way Kirika said the girl's name. So young, so needlessly lost. Then she straightened and the moment passed. “Chloe never understood. She made herself into an implacable weapon. She was a mirror to my other self, her skills nearly a match to mine. But I was already that weapon. What could she have brought to Noir that I did not already?”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">The sheer audacity of the callous statement took Mireille aback. "I’m sure that's not how Altena saw it."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"Altena’s only concern was Le Grand Retour," Kirika shrugged. “Chloe and I were like two swords, effective but always direct. But you - your family loved you, and that fact marks you even now. You move easily in the world. You’re comfortable in it, you live in the middle of a city. On your own, you created a network of contacts and became an assassin but by ways that I can’t do or understand. I'm told who and where my target is. I don't pull up building plans, research sites, news and social media profiles,” she recited Mireille's methodology with a precision borne of familiarity. “Even Altena would’ve seen that eventually." Her mouth curved in a taunting smile. "There's a reason why you were chosen to be the sapling set loose on the world. You're not an innocent."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Mireille seethed with the urge to slap her. "I never claimed to be innocent! But what options did you and Altena leave me, the surviving orphan of a Corsican mob boss? When people were hunting me down?"
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"You could've run. Others have," Kirika observed caustically. “In the end, you chose to be a killer. Oh Mireille, if we had truly become Noir…” She closed her eyes briefly and let herself sink into that world. “We would’ve been partners in every sense of the word. I would’ve been sister, friend and lover to you, a sinner and murderer with the blackest of hands by your side. To the end.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">If Mireille was shaken by the unerring logic, she did not show it. “But that's not where we are now."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"No," Kirika agreed softly. "Which is why all I can do is offer.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">She moved forward until the end of Mireille's gun rested squarely against her chest. Kirika didn’t show the slightest fear as she lowered the Beretta until it lay uselessly by her side. “For the last time, I’m offering you my death. I am not the other side of Noir to you. I’m not the Soldats’ nor anyone else’s weapon…except yours. I cannot atone. But if you don’t fulfill our promise now, that is how I will try.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Cerulean eyes flickered to her in confusion. "What do you mean?"
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"I am Noir in all the ways that matter. Fulfill our promise and finish me...or use me for your vengeance. Unleash me against the Soldats."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">When Mireille did not speak or otherwise react, Kirika tightened her grasp on her Beretta. Eight, it came to her immediately, seven in the clip and one chambered at all times. "Or would you prefer...?"
Calibri">Maybe there is another way I can atone. Calibri">The thought was merely half-formed, her gun hand only starting to rise towards her head, when Mireille, in one smooth, blindingly fast motion, dropped her own gun and snatched Kirika's pistol away.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"You will never again use this to hurt anyone that I love!" Mireille was marble-pale and hard-eyed in the dim light, a goddess who was the epitome of rage. The Beretta seemed to disintegrate in her capable hands. It was field-stripped in seconds, the parts flung with contempt. "What the hell, Kirika?!"
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">But Kirika was lost again, this time in the past. Despair is not achieved through unrelenting pain. Was this voice Altena's or did it belong to another? Human beings can be strong. Expose them to suffering and somehow they'll adapt. But if you want to break a person, grant them a moment of happiness. It will provide a framework for their suffering and suddenly all will seem unbearable...
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">What had Mireille said? 'Haven’t you learned by now that love is the most dangerous thing in the world?' Was this what she'd meant? That, having tasted love, Kirika could no longer imagine a world without it? She did not want to live in a world where Mireille hated her.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"I don't know what to do anymore," Kirika whispered as the amber faded from her eyes. The dark void inside her receded, and once more she was just herself and hurting. She was so tired. "I just want to make things easier for you."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"By offering me a weapon?" Mireille took refuge in her fury as she tried to struggle past the fear that was thudding through her veins. Had Kirika really been about to...? "Or stealing a vengeance that's rightfully mine?"
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">“Then what do you want?” Kirika clenched her empty fists. “I wish I could take everything back. You had a family that loved you, and I took that away. I deserve -”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"Shut up!" Mireille grabbed the girl angrily until their bodies were inches apart. "You want to know what I want? I want you to stop questioning why I didn’t shoot you that night. Stop telling me that’s what you deserve! This is hard enough without that. I know what I owe to my parents, who loved me enough to defy the Soldats, and to my brother, who didn't even get to live.” She wiped clumsily at the tears that sprung to her eyes again. “I know what I’ve vowed and what I’m supposed to do. But I can’t! Above all, stop offering me your fucking death! It’s not your death I want!”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Kirika was speechless. She touched a tear falling down Mireille's cheek with reverence. 'Is she weeping for me?' she wondered in disbelief. This time the memory that came to her was one she owned from the start: her readiness to follow Altena to a fiery death and Mireille's utter refusal to let her go. Those same blue eyes were crying for her back then too. 'I'm begging you, Kirika.'
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Kirika threw her arms tightly around the blonde. She buried her face in Mireille's shoulder because she still couldn't meet her eyes. There was nothing she could do to atone. There was nothing she could do to earn forgiveness. But, nevertheless -
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"Forgive me." She felt Mireille's surprise as she begged, "I don't deserve it but maybe someday...if you can find it in your heart…" This time the tears flowing were hers. "Please forgive me."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">It seemed like an eternity before Mireille returned the embrace with the slightest pressure. "What I want,” she sighed, “is to be able to explain. One day, if there is an afterlife, I'll have to face my parents and my brother and explain to them why I failed. Why I couldn’t do my duty and avenge them.” Her voice was thick with emotion. “How do I do that, Kirika? How do I tell them why I…feel for you the way I do?”
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"I don't know," Kirika replied softly. "But if that day comes, they can do what they like to me. I'll be by your side. I’ll stand with you."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">"Oh? You want to stand with me? As what?" Mireille made an attempt to sound amused but they both knew she was utterly serious.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Kirika raised her head and met the questioning blue eyes gravely. "If you’ll let me...as sinner, lover and friend. To the end of our days."
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">Mireille took a deep breath. The first time she had made a conscious decision to save Kirika's life - not just to let her live, but to rescue her - it had resulted in the death of a dozen men. That was when she knew: the thread of fate that bound them together was sure to be black. A pitch-black thread, blacker than darkness.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">She pulled Kirika close and held her. So be it.
mso-bidi-font-family:Calibri">