(no subject)
Since january ive been taking sat classes and getting tutored and getting all prepped for the sat. I think its the stupidest test ever made. It only proves that half the world has money to spend so their kids can buy the tricks from kaplan. I didn't learn anything about math or english, just the tricks to beat the test. So the sat doesn't prove anything. I got my scores today and i got 70 points below my goal. I told my mom and she didn't have anything to say. My dad just bitched about how all i do is talk on the phone and watch top model and shop. It's funny because my mom was always like "oh ayushi your going to do so well you study so much". I really wanted to take it once and get it over with. And when i told her my score she complained about how i never studied and shed always have to remind me to. I tried to argue but they get even more pissed. Let them think what they wanna think. They think they proved a point and they feel better then me so let them be. So my dad goes that's all you got? Im like uh yea. its pretty damn good for the first try on the real thing. And then he compares me to all his friend's kids and how amazing they are and how there all in med school. HELLO DID ANYONE STOP AND ASK ME WHAT I THINK? I should surprise them and become a ceramics teacher or something. That would be a great. They want me to go to all these big expensive schools and i appreciate it and all but i really dont want to. Im sure i could learn the same in a less expensive one where there's not that much competition. Its not even about learning for them its just about the name. I really do feel bad and i could have done better for all the prepping i did and all the money they spent but im really not into the whole competing thing. I don't want to waste my life trying to prove how amazing i am. Im good enough for me and that should be good enough for my parents. It's not like i don't try, I really do, but i have the attention span of my dog and i learn everything so it shouldn't be about the grades. I do great on all those standardised tests so if i miss a few points it shouldn't kill them. I think they should stop putting all the pressure on me and focus on my sister. I'm pretty much a lost cause now. I don't want to live a life they planned out for me. So now i have to spend my entire summer in India studying my ass off to kick the next SAT's ass. Its really great that nothing ever works out for me. Now i have to put up with YOU COULD HAVE DONE BETTER all summer. I did better than more than half the kids in school and i did good enough to go to the colleges i like but i guess if it will shut my parents up ill get even higher and prove that im so "smart" so they can compare me to all their friend's kids.