I need advice .. :-\ BOYS SUCK
Yea ok .. so Ive talked A LOT about Adam in my LJ posts .. lol .. ur all probably horribly sick of him, and dont even know him .. but .. ive got problems.
ok so here it is .. I like Adam .. I mean .. I think I do? It's so weird .. I haven't liked a guy .. like I do Adam .. ever. I mean, I'll go off and on from liking Adam. Just because Adam is .. so different. Maybe this is because I was so in love with Justin for a long time, and thought 'well hey every guy Im gonna meet is gonna be like Justin, because Justin is everything to me, and if I can't have Justin, I want my next boyfriend to be like him.' yea so not true .. lol. Adam is soooo .. different, from EVERY guy i've liked. Adam is ghetto, Adam is mean, Adam isn't as attractive as most guys i've liked, Adam does not know how to treat a girl, nor does he know how to HAVE a girl like him. The worst part of all is, HE'S EXACTLY LIKE MY BROTHER. Am I suppose to be liking a guy who is EXACTLY like my brother?! no, i don't think so. I mean .. I'm so frickin scared I'm going to CHANGE Adam. and I don't want that. Adam and I are two different people, we do not like the same music, when we talk on the phone, it's nothing, it's silence, or I'm sitting there telling Adam to talk to me because he's paying attention to his stupid video games. And I mean .. we're hitting these kind of road bumps, and we're not even going out.
I don't wanna .. be his girlfriend or like him .. if there are things I want to change about him. I mean, I don't think I'd wanna go out on a date with him .. like .. where we have to eat .. because he has no manners.
I just .. maybe I pushed my self to like Adam, because I want to get over Justin. Do you think thats it? Because I don't want to be the stupid 16 year old ex girlfriend whose still so in love with him. I want to move on, and show him, that I can get over him. Plus, he told me to move on. And from what he's been telling me, telling Brittny, and from how he's been acting, I don't think theres any romantic future for us. Not to mention, just today he told me he wouldn't be online anymore because he's almost 19, and has no want to be online. Did it hurt? Mmhmm .. but it gets better! After he asked me if I liked Adam, and i said yes, he said he had a crush on this girl. I know I'm not suppose to care if he likes a girl, or if he's not gonna be online anymore. We no longer have that close relationship we used to have, which really sucks. but it's hard .. and then when he said he has no want to be online, I kinda felt .. upset .. ok well not kinda, I was really upset, I left and took a shower, and I must cried the whole time I was in the shower. But it's not fair, cuz I don't want to feel like this, I feel so stupid, because hell, I'm some what sure Justin no longer cries over me. I just .. :(
I wish I woulda never fell in love with him. I mean .. I do .. but .. it's so easy to fall in love .. be all happy and giddy .. and then it's so hard to fall out of love, be happy for him because he likes another girl, and because he has a life.
But yea wow, I got off topic .. anyways my question is .. If I want to change Adam, and don't like the way he is .. is there any point in pushing a relationship with him? He doesn't dress the way I normally like a guy to dress, he doesn't act the way most guys do when they like a girl, he has no idea how to flirt. I mean, yea all these things CAN change, but I don't want to change him, for me. I want to like him for who he is, and I don't. There are things about him that I don't like, things that he does that I don't like. I just, I wouldn't feel right if I said 'Could you wear this? Can you do this? Can you act this way? Can you quit doing this? Can you learn some manners?'
OMG .. I sound like such a bitch don't i?! Forget it, I'm done, guys are over. All of them.
ok so here it is .. I like Adam .. I mean .. I think I do? It's so weird .. I haven't liked a guy .. like I do Adam .. ever. I mean, I'll go off and on from liking Adam. Just because Adam is .. so different. Maybe this is because I was so in love with Justin for a long time, and thought 'well hey every guy Im gonna meet is gonna be like Justin, because Justin is everything to me, and if I can't have Justin, I want my next boyfriend to be like him.' yea so not true .. lol. Adam is soooo .. different, from EVERY guy i've liked. Adam is ghetto, Adam is mean, Adam isn't as attractive as most guys i've liked, Adam does not know how to treat a girl, nor does he know how to HAVE a girl like him. The worst part of all is, HE'S EXACTLY LIKE MY BROTHER. Am I suppose to be liking a guy who is EXACTLY like my brother?! no, i don't think so. I mean .. I'm so frickin scared I'm going to CHANGE Adam. and I don't want that. Adam and I are two different people, we do not like the same music, when we talk on the phone, it's nothing, it's silence, or I'm sitting there telling Adam to talk to me because he's paying attention to his stupid video games. And I mean .. we're hitting these kind of road bumps, and we're not even going out.
I don't wanna .. be his girlfriend or like him .. if there are things I want to change about him. I mean, I don't think I'd wanna go out on a date with him .. like .. where we have to eat .. because he has no manners.
I just .. maybe I pushed my self to like Adam, because I want to get over Justin. Do you think thats it? Because I don't want to be the stupid 16 year old ex girlfriend whose still so in love with him. I want to move on, and show him, that I can get over him. Plus, he told me to move on. And from what he's been telling me, telling Brittny, and from how he's been acting, I don't think theres any romantic future for us. Not to mention, just today he told me he wouldn't be online anymore because he's almost 19, and has no want to be online. Did it hurt? Mmhmm .. but it gets better! After he asked me if I liked Adam, and i said yes, he said he had a crush on this girl. I know I'm not suppose to care if he likes a girl, or if he's not gonna be online anymore. We no longer have that close relationship we used to have, which really sucks. but it's hard .. and then when he said he has no want to be online, I kinda felt .. upset .. ok well not kinda, I was really upset, I left and took a shower, and I must cried the whole time I was in the shower. But it's not fair, cuz I don't want to feel like this, I feel so stupid, because hell, I'm some what sure Justin no longer cries over me. I just .. :(
I wish I woulda never fell in love with him. I mean .. I do .. but .. it's so easy to fall in love .. be all happy and giddy .. and then it's so hard to fall out of love, be happy for him because he likes another girl, and because he has a life.
But yea wow, I got off topic .. anyways my question is .. If I want to change Adam, and don't like the way he is .. is there any point in pushing a relationship with him? He doesn't dress the way I normally like a guy to dress, he doesn't act the way most guys do when they like a girl, he has no idea how to flirt. I mean, yea all these things CAN change, but I don't want to change him, for me. I want to like him for who he is, and I don't. There are things about him that I don't like, things that he does that I don't like. I just, I wouldn't feel right if I said 'Could you wear this? Can you do this? Can you act this way? Can you quit doing this? Can you learn some manners?'
OMG .. I sound like such a bitch don't i?! Forget it, I'm done, guys are over. All of them.