(no subject)
I don't know why but for some reason everytime I think about you I get this terrible yet amazing feeling inside of myself that makes me want to do something good for the world- Or rather just something good for you, although your life is great and there is nothing that you really need except for what I wish were me.
It's actually really lame, especially because I go through all these lies and try to make you see different things about myself that I wouldn't normally want seen. I'm fucking retarded in other words. We don't even talk that much for me to feel like this, and when we do talk its not about anything important just little things that are on our minds-things that you would never fuckig say in eight million years to my face. I'm kind of fed up with it, but for some reason I keep coming back for more of these bullshit lies that you keep telling me about us, about me-and-you. Doing things that only lovers would do, explaining them in ways that only two people who really care about eachother would handle the situation.
I hate you, I really fucking hate your guts-but then my heart tells me I'm full of more shit than you.