im just not sure
so everything is going great for me right now. things are finally good in my house and at work. money is not a huge issue in my life anymore. certain realtionships have faded out and others are growing. i still cant get over how happy i am with preston, and his friends are awesome, too. my sister and i are better than we have ever been. my dad is gone now, but when hes here its great. my mommy is still my best friend. ive seen shawn a copuple times since our "break up," and its not awkward. we are both adults now. and we understand that. i have the perfect amount of chaos going on right now to make my life wonderful and no drama.
but today was horrble. and i dont know why. i got to wake up with preston. wonderful. spend time with him. hang out with josie and chris. wonderful. got to see tim again. went to work. got to work with jayme. wonderful. i actually got a tip forma guy while i was cashiering. i got off work and went walikng down the train tracks with preston. nothing but wonderful things happened today. and i am starting to become more and more like myself and be happy with me and let myself be in love.
but all day in the back of my head something has been wrong. and i dont know what. and i dont like not knowing what it is.
so i didnt go with preston to orbits. i kinda feel bad. i told him it wasnt anythign he did that made me want to leave so i could go home and take a bath and cry for no reason. i meant it.
i wish i knew what was wrong. i just dont feel like myself right now. well, its like i feel like i used to feel a couple weeks ago and im not used to it anymore. my regular thoughts and feelings arent what they used to be.
now that i have moped, i htink i feel better. maybe i just feel weird taht nothing is wrong? something should be wrong and it isnt? sometimes i hate being a girl...
but today was horrble. and i dont know why. i got to wake up with preston. wonderful. spend time with him. hang out with josie and chris. wonderful. got to see tim again. went to work. got to work with jayme. wonderful. i actually got a tip forma guy while i was cashiering. i got off work and went walikng down the train tracks with preston. nothing but wonderful things happened today. and i am starting to become more and more like myself and be happy with me and let myself be in love.
but all day in the back of my head something has been wrong. and i dont know what. and i dont like not knowing what it is.
so i didnt go with preston to orbits. i kinda feel bad. i told him it wasnt anythign he did that made me want to leave so i could go home and take a bath and cry for no reason. i meant it.
i wish i knew what was wrong. i just dont feel like myself right now. well, its like i feel like i used to feel a couple weeks ago and im not used to it anymore. my regular thoughts and feelings arent what they used to be.
now that i have moped, i htink i feel better. maybe i just feel weird taht nothing is wrong? something should be wrong and it isnt? sometimes i hate being a girl...