Joker Smoker
10 years of the same old bull. 10 years for me to get the same feeling every time the wound is reopened. I do my best to try to pretend like it's not happening. I more or less refuse to talk about it. I retreat to my room during conversation. I just don't know how to deal with it and when I think about it I realize I now refuse to.
I just hate screaming . . . even if it has absolutely nothing to do with me. I don't want any of it. I want civilized conversation, I want genuine words of concern, I want peace. I want all the things that didn't happen 10 years ago and the countless times in between. This time is most likely the end. I still hate the fact that I feel like a resolution was not made and very likely will not be made, but should I take satisfaction because the problem is leaving?
The problem had 10 years to change their ways. He had 10 years to work on quitting. I said I wanted them gone, and I did, but I didn't want it to happen like this. I need to stop writing this. I think I liked not writing about it and ignoring it better.
I just hate screaming . . . even if it has absolutely nothing to do with me. I don't want any of it. I want civilized conversation, I want genuine words of concern, I want peace. I want all the things that didn't happen 10 years ago and the countless times in between. This time is most likely the end. I still hate the fact that I feel like a resolution was not made and very likely will not be made, but should I take satisfaction because the problem is leaving?
The problem had 10 years to change their ways. He had 10 years to work on quitting. I said I wanted them gone, and I did, but I didn't want it to happen like this. I need to stop writing this. I think I liked not writing about it and ignoring it better.