i can't sleep, i can't speak to you.

[wastexofxpaint]

i think i've figured it out. of course i haven't actually figured anything out but an idea i have is that when everything goes the same for awhile you get used to it. the nothingness the endless road the days and nights the way it looks like someone really heavy shoved into the side of the wall on the stairs one day. you just expect it. and i had accepted certain things, A certain thing only days before. but everyone is insane. and when there is a change, a small crack in between the days and the nights when you stay up all throughout the time in between, i suddenly can't sleep at all anymore now. and it's not like before when i didn't want to sleep, when i was hiding from the dreams. i feel as though i lay awake uncomfortable all night and then awake in the morning worried that i am late for something. when i check the clock it's 6 am. and i am displaced.

ps. i'm not sorry and i didn't know. i did not know. but i remember you now. even though i'm already starting to doubt your existance once again. i know.iknowiknow I DON'T KNOW!