(no subject)
this is gonna sound so lame, i'm sure. but i'm nervous for tomorrow. tomorrow we have to submit our poetry anthologies for collaborative editing (read: random people in the class read your stuff and fix it). i'm scared to have anyone besides like the circle of people who sit around me to read my stuff. so i'm gonna test drive this idea. below, under the lovely LJ-cut, you will see the five poems that make up my anthology. be critical. be scathingly honest. in any case, i need feedback like you wouldn't believe. only honest feedback though, anything false is of no use to me or my writing. there's even a free verse poem in there! be shocked.
continue?
ambiguous?
in a world named equality you are
but the grains of sand
the same ones you walk upon
in a world where you don’t even know
yourself anymore your new name
is
uniform
the line moves ever forward while
the circle, it repeats itself lines spell
progress
but never walk outside them
the box is built, you’re trapped
but happy freedom is fear
and apprehension for the weak
surfaces are interesting
don’t you think? you should; that’s all
you’re given- all you’ll ever see
you think you’re unique by attempting
that coveted individuality
when you’re just like everyone else
trying to be different
…hypocrite much?
you like to call yourself ambiguous
when what you mean is directionless
no worry- you’re headed in the same
direction as everyone else
extinction.
A Plea For Socialism
The land of the free where the stars and stripes wave
One nation under God and the home of the brave
The new century brings a feeling of unrest
The bid for power now the worldwide contest
There are those you betrayed and those you deceived
In you they gave trust and in you they believed
The cities home to sorrow where many live in need
While you turn your eyes away to a war bred from greed
As thousands lie dead and countries are torn
Your reign of terror has now been born
The promise of bright futures is long overdue
See the destruction of the country entrusted to you
Tangled Web
At times like these, silence is gold,
Forbidden encounters, secrets told.
You know it’s wrong, but it feels so right,
To be gone again by morning’s light.
They all know but none will tell,
Each night a step closer to hell.
A whisper, a message, a lustful gaze,
The images that will haunt you for days.
Such a drug, waiting for the next high,
Until your sweetheart waves goodbye.
Kiss him back, close the door,
Now this is what lover is for.
Pass him on the street, not a word said,
Until the next time you end up in his bed.
He looks to you but not in your eyes,
The expression of two lovers caught in their lies.
Death in Disguise
The selection is today, in lines we await
Helplessly as they determine our fate
We squirm while surveyed through cold blackened eyes
An angel clothed in white- a shallow disguise
Worn beyond repair, such a slovenly sight
Blindly we follow and we hope it is right
The omnipotent gaze filled with cool disregard
Our bodies have been torn, our souls forever scarred
With a wave of the hand sent to death or to life
Children stolen from mothers, a husband parted from his wife
The angel beckons a chosen few from the dead
With a smirk at the horrors that soon lie ahead
Like the piper he leads the children to his lair
Where he offers them sweets and strokes their sparse hair
With a voice so soft as to soothe all their fear
So innocent and unknowing to the pain that looms near
Our father in this hell could never do us harm
Until he delivers the fatal injection in our arm
He assures us that all the tortures we endure
Are for the sake of making us worthy and pure
My body now belongs to this Jekyll and Hyde
In his hands I’ve lived while the others have died
The corpses, so frail, marred with remnants of his designs
He chooses his next life and I just hope it isn’t mine
As the seasons wax and wane the end draws near
Eyes once filled with power now only hold fear
Casting his victims aside to begin a life in exile
Never convicted of his crimes, so wicked and vile
The nature of man, so fallacious and clouded
Behind his kind face were evil intentions shrouded
The soft sugared tongue only tainted with lies
The Angel of Death- death in disguise.
For Ana
I love when you leave me empty inside
The ache becomes a reason for being
My mind is awake while my spirit has died
Who I am is not who I’ve been seeing
The more I lose, the more that you give
With you a secret war I’ll fight
The voice inside, without you I can’t live
By my side you stay through day and through night
What nourishes me will one day destroy me
The hunger your reward for my service
A pawn in your game is all I can be
Your promise keeps me fearful and nervous
Just ten more pounds, but I’ll never be free
From Anorexia’s hold over me
please don't form any personal judgements of me based on what you read. i want the feedback to be about the writing itself, not me. thanks guys :)