(no subject)
and when i see you, i really see you upside down.
my mouth is so dry;; no, my throat, not my mouth. i really hate winter. even being inside during the winter. everything sucks. there is nothing to do ,, because its not like you can go outside and hangout unless you want to become a popsickle. the trees are bare with the dead leaves rushing around on the ground. everything is so dead and crisp and cold and bare and even people; my hands are always numb or cold, i wear shoes inside and my hood on anytime i can. showering in the morning makes me cringe, once you step out of the hot steam and steady flow of burning water, the air is so cold. i sleep with a hoodie on or my heated blanket on the highest setting. when the wind blows, the trees outside my computer room window scratch against the pane and it sounds cold and deathly. the scars all over my hands are purple when it gets extremely cold. it makes me look even more pale and dead and like i have no soul and i pretty much dont because im cold hearted so i guess that if i could get over being so cold than this season might suit me well. i dont know what im talking about.
i want to live where its 'always 75 with no melting snow'. i want to live somewhere where only the people i want to see on a daily basis live and i want to live with all my close friends(like 3 people i guess) in the same house and no curfews and no rules and no worries and no cares at all and no sad moments and no dull moments and always smiles and laughs and happiness through the whole day and the long night and never a cold bed and never any harsh lights and just the constant glow of content. if only that was possible.
if you feel discouraged when there's a lack of color here; please dont worry lover, it's really bursting at the seams; absorbing everything, the spectrums A to Z/
this is fact not fiction; for the first time in years.