(no subject)
I know that i said that i was fine but i have been dwelling on it and i realized that im really not. Not at all. Sometimes i hate myself for the things that i say and do especially when i know i shouldnt but i do anyway. It kills me inside to know that i have hurt you in much more than some small little way. You deserve so much better than i could ever be and i cant help but wonder why you would still choose to be with me after all of these things, some little and others not so little, that i have done and said which a better person would never have even thought of. More than anything else i want you to be happy and tonight i could tell that i cut a lot deeper than ever before. I wish i could make you understand just how sorry i am. I know you said that you are ok but i still cant find it in me to forgive myself. All i want is for you to be happy and anything i do to harm that kills me. I love you more than anything and would do anything for you. Again im sorry.