(no subject)
How long has it been since I've actually written a good update? Forever, I think. Hm. Owell. Here it goes.
My fingers hurt. They are all blistered and stuff, cause I'm teaching myself how to play the guitar. I hate G chord, and I want it do die and go to hell. Hmph. It hurts my fingers to freaking play it, and I can't type properly now...
I'm getting into a lot of trouble lately. At home and at school...and on the streets and stuff. A while ago, I went to Halifax with my friends, and we were at the Freak Lunchbox, and I accidentally dented a plastic package. So they wanted me to pay for it. I was like, "No." And we got into this big argument...blahdeeblahdeeblah, he threatened to call the police...shalalala whatever. Then he grabbed my money out of my hand and went to the cash register, and made me buy it. Isn't that against some rule, or something? Fuck.
At school, my teachers are telling me that I need to calm down and pay ttention. I DO pay attention! Christ! I fucking do, I swear. They just always look at me at the wrong times. Like, right as I'm doing something I'm not supposed to. I got sent out into the hallway a few times, my teachers have argued with me, blah blah blah.
They say I have alot of potential, though.
What a joke!
At home? Home is...home. Only not really. Ugh. My parents are getting on my nerves more and more everyday. I want to gauge their eyes out with spoons. My mom still thinks I like rap and aanoying movies like Legally Blonde 2 and crap like that. She just doesn't want to accept the fact that that is not who I am anymore. Because she wants a girl that she can squeal with and all that junk.
Ummmmno.
She was talking on the phone to her friend last night and they started talking about me. Mom said, "She's just like any other 15 year old girl. Boys, boys, boys."
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. WTF.
OKay, I know I do talk about boys alot in my journal, but I mean... COME ON. I never even talk to my mom about boys! She's making stuff up to hide the fact that she's embarassed by me. Whenever we go out, she says, "wear something that wont make people look at you weirdly, please?!" and she tells me to take off my eyeliner and stop wearing torn gloves and shit.
I thought she was my mother, and I thought that mothers are supposed to love you, no matter WHAT you are?
it pisses me off.
It makes me want to act even worse.
That's why me, Jen, Amara, Erin, James, Matt and all them are going to Halifax sometime soon to egg the santas.
we'll probably get brought home by the cops :D
then mom will have to deal with all the neighbor's nosey questions.
that'll teach her.
you fuck with who i am, i will fuck you over a gagillion times worse.
ANYWHO.
On a different note...
Trudy's Uncle died on September 11th. :( I brought her a white rose at her house, and I stayed and talked with her for a while to make sure she was okay and that her family knew that I was there for them. I know what it's like to lose someone special to you.
Puckness<3333333333
My Brothers and I are really close lately. I dunno. AJ told me he loved me as he went out the door to go to a party with some friends or something. I was really suprised, I almost fell off the counter I was sitting on when he said it. And Derek and I are watching lots of movies and stuff together lately. It's awesome. I forgot how cool my brothers are.
I went to the movies with Kathy (Derek's Fiance for all of you who don't know my family). We went and saw Elf. That movie is HILARIOUS. I want to answer my phone, "Kara the Elf, what's your favourite colour?" But my mom won't let me. Kathy tried to talk to me about sex.
:O
I was like, "Oh, yeah, I know everything about sex. I always use protection."
She was all "WHAT?>!?>!?!!>?<,kmfl.a,?QE?!!??!?"
I laughed and told her I was joking, and that I never use protection. Then she looked at me weirdly and I had to tell her I was lying. Then we laughedededed. She's awesome, she's going to be so cool as a sister in law. :D
Umm. What else is there to say...
OH.
I had a dream last night that made me think.
You know how I'm having alot of trouble with Amara lately? With her attitude and her little talent of taking guys from me?
Well.
Here it goes.
It's all kind of a blur to me, actually. At one point, I'm there with this really sweet looking guy and he's being all nice and cuddly towards me. Then we get on this ferry type thing...which is weird, cause I'm TERRIFIED of ferrys and water and crap like that. So we're on the ferry, and we go down below, and he starts telling me how sleepy he is. Then he lays down and rests his head on my lap, and he goes to sleep, and im just watching him and everything for a while...then he wakes up and sits up straight and we start to talk. He tells me I always have my hand on my forehead...also true. I DO have my head on m forehead alot because I always have headaches, and I always touch my head when im nervous. Then out of nowhere, Amara appears, and shes on the other side of the guy and she puts her head on his shoulder. He puts his arm around her and they look at me, stupid grins on their faces. I got up and ran to the top of the ferry and cried. Then the ferry stopped and I got off along with a whole bunch of other people. Then I'm standing on the shoreline, watching the boy and amara in the window of the ferry and it moves back out into the water.
Then I woke up, and I felt like my heart was being squashed. Seriously, thats how i felt. My heart was really heavy.
Ugh I hate being alone.
My fingers hurt. They are all blistered and stuff, cause I'm teaching myself how to play the guitar. I hate G chord, and I want it do die and go to hell. Hmph. It hurts my fingers to freaking play it, and I can't type properly now...
I'm getting into a lot of trouble lately. At home and at school...and on the streets and stuff. A while ago, I went to Halifax with my friends, and we were at the Freak Lunchbox, and I accidentally dented a plastic package. So they wanted me to pay for it. I was like, "No." And we got into this big argument...blahdeeblahdeeblah, he threatened to call the police...shalalala whatever. Then he grabbed my money out of my hand and went to the cash register, and made me buy it. Isn't that against some rule, or something? Fuck.
At school, my teachers are telling me that I need to calm down and pay ttention. I DO pay attention! Christ! I fucking do, I swear. They just always look at me at the wrong times. Like, right as I'm doing something I'm not supposed to. I got sent out into the hallway a few times, my teachers have argued with me, blah blah blah.
They say I have alot of potential, though.
What a joke!
At home? Home is...home. Only not really. Ugh. My parents are getting on my nerves more and more everyday. I want to gauge their eyes out with spoons. My mom still thinks I like rap and aanoying movies like Legally Blonde 2 and crap like that. She just doesn't want to accept the fact that that is not who I am anymore. Because she wants a girl that she can squeal with and all that junk.
Ummmmno.
She was talking on the phone to her friend last night and they started talking about me. Mom said, "She's just like any other 15 year old girl. Boys, boys, boys."
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. WTF.
OKay, I know I do talk about boys alot in my journal, but I mean... COME ON. I never even talk to my mom about boys! She's making stuff up to hide the fact that she's embarassed by me. Whenever we go out, she says, "wear something that wont make people look at you weirdly, please?!" and she tells me to take off my eyeliner and stop wearing torn gloves and shit.
I thought she was my mother, and I thought that mothers are supposed to love you, no matter WHAT you are?
it pisses me off.
It makes me want to act even worse.
That's why me, Jen, Amara, Erin, James, Matt and all them are going to Halifax sometime soon to egg the santas.
we'll probably get brought home by the cops :D
then mom will have to deal with all the neighbor's nosey questions.
that'll teach her.
you fuck with who i am, i will fuck you over a gagillion times worse.
ANYWHO.
On a different note...
Trudy's Uncle died on September 11th. :( I brought her a white rose at her house, and I stayed and talked with her for a while to make sure she was okay and that her family knew that I was there for them. I know what it's like to lose someone special to you.
Puckness<3333333333
My Brothers and I are really close lately. I dunno. AJ told me he loved me as he went out the door to go to a party with some friends or something. I was really suprised, I almost fell off the counter I was sitting on when he said it. And Derek and I are watching lots of movies and stuff together lately. It's awesome. I forgot how cool my brothers are.
I went to the movies with Kathy (Derek's Fiance for all of you who don't know my family). We went and saw Elf. That movie is HILARIOUS. I want to answer my phone, "Kara the Elf, what's your favourite colour?" But my mom won't let me. Kathy tried to talk to me about sex.
:O
I was like, "Oh, yeah, I know everything about sex. I always use protection."
She was all "WHAT?>!?>!?!!>?<,kmfl.a,?QE?!!??!?"
I laughed and told her I was joking, and that I never use protection. Then she looked at me weirdly and I had to tell her I was lying. Then we laughedededed. She's awesome, she's going to be so cool as a sister in law. :D
Umm. What else is there to say...
OH.
I had a dream last night that made me think.
You know how I'm having alot of trouble with Amara lately? With her attitude and her little talent of taking guys from me?
Well.
Here it goes.
It's all kind of a blur to me, actually. At one point, I'm there with this really sweet looking guy and he's being all nice and cuddly towards me. Then we get on this ferry type thing...which is weird, cause I'm TERRIFIED of ferrys and water and crap like that. So we're on the ferry, and we go down below, and he starts telling me how sleepy he is. Then he lays down and rests his head on my lap, and he goes to sleep, and im just watching him and everything for a while...then he wakes up and sits up straight and we start to talk. He tells me I always have my hand on my forehead...also true. I DO have my head on m forehead alot because I always have headaches, and I always touch my head when im nervous. Then out of nowhere, Amara appears, and shes on the other side of the guy and she puts her head on his shoulder. He puts his arm around her and they look at me, stupid grins on their faces. I got up and ran to the top of the ferry and cried. Then the ferry stopped and I got off along with a whole bunch of other people. Then I'm standing on the shoreline, watching the boy and amara in the window of the ferry and it moves back out into the water.
Then I woke up, and I felt like my heart was being squashed. Seriously, thats how i felt. My heart was really heavy.
Ugh I hate being alone.