r.i.p grandpa. i love you.

[wasted_songs]

im such a mess. i feel so stupid for being like this though.
i just need someone to talk to who will understand.
yeah i know he was just my grandpa but this hurts. bad.
it just makes me thnik of all the things i should have done.
i should have called more. should have visited. should have made
more of an effort. but i didnt. and its too late now.
i didnt even get to say goodbye and i hope he knows how much
i love him. and im gonna miss him so much.

god, this just sucks. i know he's better off but my grandmother,
shes just hurting so bad. and i wish i could make her feel better.
but i dont know what to say. im still a mess myself.
i dont think ive stopped crying all day. i didnt think i had this many
tears in me but i guess i do.

the wake is sunday and the funeral is monday. hopefully school tomorrow
will take my mind off things.
its just one of those things i wasnt expecting. and i hate this.
i hate this alot.