(no subject)
i've been missing you more than usual lately. it's fucking driving me crazy with sadness to hear things and realize how much we don't even know each other anymore. and i hate sitting here in front of a computer typing out things i want to say to you but it's the only way that i can get the words out from my thoughts. it just feels so weird. there's all these people in your life and in my life and yet there isn't you, and there isn't us anymore. alicia was telling a story about your leg and i made a comment about it, and this kid was surprised that i knew you...and i wanted to cry. i'm jsut writing a whole bunch of shit that probably doesn't even make any sense and you probably won't even see this but i don't care it's fucking cramming up space in my...everything and i have to get it out . but it's not feeling any more relieved than before i started typing. fuck i don't know. and what if we did be around again, then where would it begin? how would we even start when there's so much space to fill, so much time that's passed, and so many events that have occured. how would anything ever be the same again? i never wanted to grow up.