put a spoon on the freezer for me please...
last night i sat on the phone and cried my fucking heart out.
but nobody noticed.
just thought i was tired and kept telling me to go to sleep.
no, i was ripping at my chest and screaming out tears.
i've become such a silent person.
i said i'd call you back in ten minutes. it was getting too strong and i couldn't be quiet anymore.
i hung up and smothered my face into the pillow, wishing it would take the breathe away from me. woke up face down and realized i had fallen into a deep dreamless sleep. i'm so exhausted.
pulling out of my driveway i looked around at my street.
the same street i had walked down many times, many people, many days.
as every morning i pull out of the driveway on my way to school, or on my way to work.
i've lost my life, as i drive down the same street day after day to go to work and sit behind a desk.
today i saw so many kids out in the morning, it was clear they were walking home from staying the night at each others houses. they were such little kids, and it made me so sad.
now here i sit, sick and tired of smiling at every person walking in here. i just want one to see me. just one to ask me how i'm doing and if i'm feeling alright. just one to hold me while i cry out. just one to catch me as i collapse onto the ground. but no, each one thanks me and walks away. just like everyone else.
I HELP YOU SO WHY CAN'T YOU HELP ME????? always always me giving.
fuck the world and the people in it.
i dropped my cell phone again, and started to cry.
damn it.
but nobody noticed.
just thought i was tired and kept telling me to go to sleep.
no, i was ripping at my chest and screaming out tears.
i've become such a silent person.
i said i'd call you back in ten minutes. it was getting too strong and i couldn't be quiet anymore.
i hung up and smothered my face into the pillow, wishing it would take the breathe away from me. woke up face down and realized i had fallen into a deep dreamless sleep. i'm so exhausted.
pulling out of my driveway i looked around at my street.
the same street i had walked down many times, many people, many days.
as every morning i pull out of the driveway on my way to school, or on my way to work.
i've lost my life, as i drive down the same street day after day to go to work and sit behind a desk.
today i saw so many kids out in the morning, it was clear they were walking home from staying the night at each others houses. they were such little kids, and it made me so sad.
now here i sit, sick and tired of smiling at every person walking in here. i just want one to see me. just one to ask me how i'm doing and if i'm feeling alright. just one to hold me while i cry out. just one to catch me as i collapse onto the ground. but no, each one thanks me and walks away. just like everyone else.
I HELP YOU SO WHY CAN'T YOU HELP ME????? always always me giving.
fuck the world and the people in it.
i dropped my cell phone again, and started to cry.
damn it.