Liberated -- Part Twelve point 1
Liberated -- Part Twelve point 1
Writer: Ally (wasted_rawkstar)
Fandom: Simple Plan
Rating: R
Summary: After a disastrous fifth album release, the future of Simple Plan is uncertain. With a growing rift between the members, and different passions pulling them in different directions, no one's sure how they'll reconcile the band. So one member takes things into his own hands and makes the only decision he can, putting his relationship and friendships in jeopardy. But will it pay off in the end? It's the gamble he's willing to take.
Parts One to Eleven
The cool breeze rushed in through the open windows and back door, the wind chime tinkling softly with the movement and Louna smiled, looking into her backyard where Yuki was stretched out on the cool grass. It was a hot, late August evening and she was sitting at her kitchen table, updating a spreadsheet on her computer while eating dinner and trying to cool the house off with open doors and windows. The summer had dragged along, with only a few trips out of town, and definitely more work than play. She’d earned too many overtime hours, and she knew the conversation she’d had the week before with her mother and Yanick, her mother’s business partner, would inevitably lead to a promotion. She wasn’t sure that she wanted more responsibilities at the firm, but she wouldn’t turn the offer down either. If anything, the promotion would ensure she stayed in Montreal instead of following David’s footsteps and running away to who-knows-where. However, nothing was certain. She had to get through this major project at work first, see what the outcome of it was, and then maybe the promotion conversation would continue. It was still a few weeks off, and for that she was grateful.
She finished the spreadsheet half an hour later and uploaded the new file to her dropbox, taking a long drink of wine as she looked back outside. She laughed to herself, seeing Yuki sprawled on his back, his paws up in the air and his tail swishing lazily in the breeze. She wondered if she should join him; maybe after she finished dinner. She set the wine aside and picked up her plate, eating the quinoa salad and cold pickled beets, one of her favorite summertime meals. It always reminded her of camping trips with David a few summers ago, because he loved it as well, so they always packed containers of it for their moto trips. She finished the beets with a sigh. She’d been thinking of him more the last week because it was his birthday in a few days. It would be another milestone without him; the second birthday he’d been gone. Somehow that made the time he’d been gone seem much longer than it really was, even though it hadn’t been quite a year and a half yet. She hoped it wasn’t a full two years before he returned, but she had no way to know.
The email he’d sent Jeff at the end of June had been the last time they’d had any sign from him. All she could hope for now was maybe another phone call from his sister, or more flowers on some special occasion. She wouldn’t let herself wish or hope for his abrupt reappearance, because that seemed like too much to ask for after the six-month silence. She’d rather have a little sign, a little heads-up that maybe he was closer to coming back and in a better place than when he’d left. She wanted him to be better, and happier, and have found the peace and solace for which he’d been searching. It would be cruel if he’d gone away and used all the time to gain nothing. She knew though, that it wouldn’t have been in vain. David would find what he needed, and probably in the most unlikely of places. That had always been something that surprised her - how they could both make something from nothing. Their shared knack for spinning a situation always proved amusing, and she hoped he’d kept that part of himself, because she couldn’t imagine him without it.
As she set her empty place back on the table and reached for her wineglass, her eye caught on the notification box that had just popped up on her computer. Six new files had been added to her dropbox. She frowned, wondering who was working so late at night besides her. She opened the dropbox folder, her eyes scanning down the dates on the various folders to see which had been modified that day. She saw the one with the spreadsheet she’d added a half hour ago, then scrolled down. Her breath halted in her throat as she found the next folder. It wasn’t a work related folder - it was one of her personal ones, and there was only one other person she’d shared those folders with. She stared at the folder, the cursor hovering over the icon while her heart raced. She imagined him sitting in a café somewhere, adding the files to her folder and waiting while it updated, not knowing that she sat in her kitchen, watching the folder update in real time. This was the closet connection they’d had in months, but it was still so superficial. She felt like she’d walked past a payphone a minute too early, and the next person to pass intercepted the phone call that was meant for her. She shook her head; what the hell was she even thinking about?
She clicked the folder, opening it to see what had been added, and her heart leapt. Music files. He’d recorded more songs for her. A grin spread over her face and she could feel the electricity race in her skin as she saw a picture had been included with the files as well. David had gone all out with this offering. She opened the picture first, and grinned more as she saw the image of a wolf pup and a motorcycle - her two favorite things. It seemed that the image hadn’t been photoshopped, and she wondered how she’d never run across it before. She shrugged the question off and read the text overlaid on the image - a track listing and title of sorts. “Covers 2018 - For the Return” was the main heading, and five titles were listed below it, but her breath stopped on the last one.
“Comin’ Home”
All at once she was in the car with him, driving back from some show the band had played in eastern Canada and they were singing that song together. They’d just passed into Quebec and couldn’t have predicted the rest of their trip to get back to Montreal, because it had been a doozy. David’s mp3 player had gotten quite the workout that trip, and they’d listened to this particular song more than a few times.
She read through the track listing again, thoughts spinning wildly in her head as she realized the message David was actually sending her with the songs: he’d made up his mind, and he was going to come home. Her excitement plummeted as fast as it had risen; when was he actually coming home? She scoured the picture, but there was no hint or clue to tell her of his plans. These songs were only the first step of it; his small sign to her that he was going to follow through and fulfill his promise. She raked her teeth over her lips, still staring at the song titles. He’d chosen these songs for particular reasons. She remembered how carefully he put together playlists and mixes for her before, so she knew there was more in these songs than met the eye. Was she ready to listen? She was ready to have him back, that she definitely knew. She closed the picture and moved the cursor to open the first song, but she stopped.
She couldn’t do this alone, and she knew there was someone else who’d be just as excited to hear the songs and know David was going to be on his way home; hopefully Em hadn’t insisted the girls go to bed early that night.
Half an hour later, after a flurry of texts with Emadou, Louna arrived at her sister’s house. She pulled into the driveway and quickly headed inside, her computer tucked safely into her backpack. She pulled off her helmet and glanced at her motorcycle in the driveway while she waited for the front door to open; Em hadn’t told the girls she was coming over, and she wasn’t quite sure why. That question was answered a second later as Emadou slipped outside to join her on the porch, closing the door silently behind her.
“Are you sure about this?” she asked her sister in a hushed tone.
Louna frowned, not understanding the question. “What?”
“Sharing this with Ella… I don’t want her hopes up thinking David’s coming back tomorrow, when it could be weeks or months still. I know you’re excited to share this with her, but I…” she trailed off, her eyes wistful.
Louna deflated, seeing then exactly why Emadou didn’t want her daughter’s hopes raised. It was entirely possible that David could remain gone for awhile longer, be it another few weeks or even months, like Em had suggested. There was no justification to subject Ella to that. Louna had hardly realized the implications herself, too caught up in her own emotions at David’s gift to see the reality of what was there. Of course her sister was right. But that didn’t stop her wanting to still share the songs with Ella.
She wrung her hands around the helmet strap, looking down at her chipped, gray nail polish in the dim porch light. “Can she just listen to them with me? With us?” she asked, looking up at her sister hopefully. “And we don’t have to tell her why he sent them, or anything… we’ll just listen and that’s it.”
Emadou sighed, knowing Louna wouldn’t relent without a fight. “How many did he send?” she asked after a moment.
“Five.”
She nodded to herself. If they listened to all of them, Ella would realize why David had sent them. Her daughter was much smarter than she gave her credit for, and she was glad Ella had strong figures in her aunt and grandmother to look up to. “You can listen to three… but I get to choose them,” she finally said.
Louna smiled slightly; it was a better deal than nothing.
They went inside together a minute later and Louna settled in the family room while Em went upstairs to get Ella. She opened her computer and clicked the folder to bring up the music files. She didn’t want to show Ella the picture anymore, because for sure she would see the ‘Comin’ Home’ title and have more questions. Emadou was right; they could listen to a few songs together and reassure Ella that he was still thinking of them, even if he hadn’t come back yet.
Footsteps skipped down the stairs and into the family room, Ella’s face bright as she beelined to Louna, giving her an enormous hug. She couldn’t help grinning - it had been almost two weeks since she’d seen her nieces, and clearly that was too long. The summer was flying past with too much work and not enough of anything else. It hadn’t been until David left that she realized he’d always planned their ‘play’ trips. He always had a ride to go on, or show to see, or some suggestion of where to travel to next, and Louna had always been up to go along. Without him, she’d stuck to the same five or six rides around the city, and those hadn’t even varied much while she was with Jeff. God she needed a change.
She smoothed down Ella’s dark hair, smiling and vowing to see the girls more often the next couple months. “Hi sweetie,” she greeted her, gently breaking the hug after a long moment.
Ella smiled, looking up at her. “Mama said you have a surprise for me.”
She nodded. “I do… I got something earlier today and wanted to share it with you.”
Emadou walked in then, giving her sister a stern look as she sat down in the armchair at the side of the couch and picked up the computer.
“Mama’s gonna show us, okay?” Louna asked.
Ella frowned, looking doubtfully at the computer. “What is it?”
“You’ll figure it out,” Louna reassured her, guiding her to sit beside her on the couch. “Just listen, okay?”
Ella glanced up at her, excitement in her eyes. “Is it music?” she asked, voice hopeful.
She smiled back. “Just listen,” she said again.
Ella instantly pressed back into the sofa, snuggling beside Louna and linking their fingers in a handhold. Louna tucked her head to Ella’s, extremely glad she’d come over to share this moment together. It would make it easier and harder all at once, but she knew it would be worth it.
A quiet moment passed while Emadou stared at the computer screen, then finally moved her finger over the touchpad to choose a file. It opened and a soft guitar strum came from the speakers. She turned the volume a little louder and looked back to her daughter and sister, wondering what would come of tonight, and if David’s promise would really come true in the end.
His voice came on then, and Ella gasped, looking up at Louna, her eyes wide. “David?” she whispered.
Louna nodded, pulling Ella a little closer and kissing her forehead instead of replying. David’s voice crooned through the speakers, a little rougher than it had been, but unmistakable all the same. She closed her eyes, listening intently to the song she knew so well, and pondering why he’d chosen it. Perhaps she’d know in time, but tonight she just needed to hear his voice and know that he was still thinking of her. He’d given her songs to hold onto now until he came back, and she wasn’t going to waste any more time without him.
# # #
David pushed the mop bucket back into the closet of the back room, then quickly washed his hands in the kitchen sink. He was definitely not going to miss cleaning the bathrooms of the bar, nor the sight of puke-soaked paper towels in the garbage. He smirked; it was the little things. He walked back to the bar, wondering if Marcus had already closed both the tills, or if he’d be doing that one last time too. He came around the corner and instantly raised an eyebrow. Marcus leaned against the back counter, two shot glasses and a bottle of top-shelf whiskey next to him. David shook his head as he walked over to the barman, the memories of last September rushing into his mind.
Thank god Marcus had discovered his secret - found out who he really was, and confronted him about it - it was the only way he’d been able to make it through this far. Marcus had known then how to help him, and they’d been able to work through it together. Thinking back on it, David felt so silly about how scared he’d been. He’d thought for sure that he would be fired for lying about his past and himself, but those lies had somehow tightened their friendship. They both shared having to start their lives over, and David was forever grateful for the forces that had brought him to Halfmoon Bay and to Marcus’ bar. There had been reasons for everything that had happened the last year and a half, and he hoped the last missing piece would still be waiting for him in Montreal.
“Remember that night?” Marcus asked him.
David stopped at the counter and looked at the whiskey bottle, nodding slowly. “Absolutely.”
“Still think I should’ve fired you?” he asked with a smirk.
He laughed. “No… I know better now.”
“You sure about that?”
They looked at one another, David knowing what Marcus was really asking, but the answer wasn’t going to change. He was ready to go home; ready to put together this new life he’d built for himself and see if it really would work out. And, more than anything, it was time to see if what he’d left in Montreal could still fit into his new life, because there would be a lot more to lose for him there if it didn’t work, and he wasn’t prepared to drive back across the country if things went bad.
“Yeah,” he finally said after a minute. “I’m sure.”
Marcus smiled and poured the shots then. “Just checkin… so here’s to you packing your car tomorrow, and not showing up for work.”
David laughed and lifted the shot, tipping it to Marcus’. “And the long-ass drive back to Montreal.”
They grinned at each other.
“Salud.”
“Salud.”
They slammed the shots, discarding the glasses back to the bar and staring at the upturned chairs. It was surreal that this night had finally come, because it seemed not too long ago that David had doubted ever getting to the point of wanting to go back. He knew that the official split of Pierre and Chuck’s friendship had been his turning point, and how fucking sad and ridiculous was it that two other people had controlled his life and happiness so much? And how he hadn’t truly realized it, until it was much too late. How naïve he’d been.
Now he knew what it actually was to live his life, and not have someone else dictate it. He was finally free to do all the things he wanted, and not have to worry about any protocols, other than what was expected of society. He smirked to himself; society’s expectations were low compared to the standards the band leaders had held.
Marcus pushed up from the bar a second later, wiping his hands on the towel over his shoulder. “Know what time you’re comin’ over for the bike?” he asked.
David shook his head. “No… not really on a solid timeline tomorrow. I’ll text you when I’m on my way though.”
Marcus nodded. “All right… I’ll be around til four.”
David half smiled. “Well then I guess it’ll be before that.”
He laughed. “Yeah, just give you a little more incentive to get that six o’clock ferry back to the mainland.”
The sarcastic note in Marcus’ voice on the last word made David laugh again, moreso because it was a subtle dig at all the patrons who just assumed they were on an island because they’d taken a ferry. He could hear Marcus’ snarky comeback instantly; “It’s a peninsula, thank you very much. Water on three sides, not four.” David was thankful he’d never made that mistake, since he’d actually looked at a map and not just blindly gone along with things.
“Guess that’ll do it,” he said with a nod.
“You stayin’ in Vancouver for the night, or…?”
He shrugged. “Just gonna depend on what’s what tomorrow.”
Marcus nodded. “Sometimes it’s better not to have a plan… just go with the universe.”
David smiled. “Tell me about it.”
The next morning, David was up at ten, despite not getting to sleep until after 3:30. It was just as well; he had a lot of shit to do. The first two hours he was up, he spent packing his car with the few belongings he’d accumulated. There wasn’t much more than what he’d come with, but a couple boxes and an extra suitcase of clothes took up more space than he’d planned for.
When things were finally packed, he went inside to clean. He’d borrowed the supplies from Rich and Greta so he didn’t have to throw away or pack those too. He shook his head as he mopped the bathroom and kitchen, having vivid flashbacks to cleaning his house before he’d left. It had felt so empty - so lonely. He’d hardly been living there; just existing. The only times there had truly been any life in the house was when Louna and Yuki were there.
David blinked hard and glanced out the kitchen window. He hadn’t thought about Yuki in ages, or at least not since the last time Louna had sent him some random picture, but he could hardly remember when that might’ve been. Thinking of Yuki made him realize that he hadn’t seen the wolf family for a few weeks. It had been a random Friday evening when they’d last been around, David seeing them at the trees when he’d driven in from work at the auto shop, before heading to work at the bar. The wolves had been languishing in the quiet evening, sprawled on the grass in the lowering sun. But as soon as his tires hit the gravel of the parking strip, they’d bolted into the cover of the trees, protecting themselves from the oncoming predator. He’d sighed and climbed slowly from the car, shutting the door quietly. He’d hoped they would’ve learned he wasn’t a threat, but he knew it would never happen. They were wild, and he had to let them be.
He stared out the window, wondering where they were; if the family had moved on to a different place. He wasn’t certain about the migration patterns of wolves, except that they followed food sources, and he couldn’t imagine there were many more deer or elk around for them to hunt. It was definite wishful thinking on his part, but he hoped to get one more glimpse of them before he left, because he knew somehow they were part of his journey too, and he wanted to have a proper goodbye.
He tore his eyes from the window after a moment and finished mopping the house, focusing instead on the music coming from his laptop. He hummed and sang along while he worked and before he realized it, it was just before two o’clock. He finished cleaning the windows and counters in the kitchen, did a quick scrub in the bathroom before he showered, and then finally emptied the fridge. He’d thrown most everything away, and what he wasn’t taking for the first part of his trip, he was giving to Rich and Greta for the bed and breakfast.
He packed up quickly, keeping an eye on the clock now. The last things into his car were the bag of groceries, his travel duffle, and his backpack with his laptop. He walked back into the small cabin after the few items were loaded, and let his eyes sweep the walls and rooms, unsure when he’d ever see this place again. His throat tightened; this had felt more like a real home to him than any place he’d been the last few years.
Fuck.
Now all the doubts and fears came at him, asking if he was making the right choice. Was he ready to go back to Montreal? Or did he just miss Louna so much now that it had clouded his judgment?
No; no matter how much Halfmoon Bay had felt like home it had never truly been home without her. Her smile and laughter and spirit were what his real home needed, and it was more than time to get back to them.
He stepped back onto the porch then, closing the front door quietly and locked the deadbolt, the key slick in his sweaty palm. There was a reason he was leaving; a reason why he was going back. He’d made a promise, and it was time to fulfill it. God, he hoped he could.
He turned away from the door, heading down the steps and to his loaded SUV, reflexively looking back to the trees as he passed the front bumper and he froze.
Luna stared at him from the tree line, her golden eyes intense. This was the closest they’d ever been, and she wasn’t bolting. She merely sat, watching him. David tightened his grip around the keys. Could she sense he was leaving? That this was going to be the last time they saw each other? He still didn’t know how or why they were connected. It was the one mystery he’d yet to figure out, but he couldn’t stay any longer to try to solve it. It was time to go.
She threw her head back then, a heart wrenching howl splitting the silence of the peaceful afternoon and piercing David’s chest. He’d heard the same desperation before, and he knew it was because of him. He closed his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered to her. “I have to go.”
He slipped around the car, scrambling into the driver’s seat and starting the engine. Luna stayed at the trees, howling again as David backed down the driveway. His heart twisted beneath his ribs and blood was hot in his face, but he knew he couldn’t stay. He had to say goodbye, and hope for the best.
His goodbyes with Rich and Greta were somber, and he promised he’d come visit sometime, because he knew he’d be back eventually. After the last year, Halfmoon Bay would be with him forever. That would never change.
He pulled into Marcus’ driveway, emotions heavy on his shoulders, and he stared at the open garage doors. He was really leaving. Picking up the trailer and motorcycle was the last thing, and then it would be time to head east. How strange that his life seemed to continue on trajectories of cardinal directions. He’d been headed west for so long now, chasing every sunset, that it seemed incongruent to now turn around. But he had to; he had no other choice.
He carefully steered his SUV, backing up to the garage so they could hitch the trailer and not even a minute after he shut the engine off, Marcus was out his front door, striding over. He swallowed hard; there was no way he could ever thank or repay Marcus for what he’d done for him, and he didn’t want this to be their goodbye.
Marcus grinned as David climbed out of the car. “Cuttin the time close, dude,” he teased.
He smiled weakly. “Always pushing the boundaries,” he retorted.
He laughed. “No shit. Let’s get you loaded up and outta here, yeah? Start this drive off right.”
He nodded, grateful for his friend’s nonchalance. If Marcus was feeling anything about their upcoming goodbyes, he was doing an excellent job of hiding it, but then, David knew he’d always been a bit more sensitive. It was his emotional streak that was both a detriment and an advantage to his relationships. He still struggled with it both ways, but it wasn’t often anymore that it got the best of him. He just hoped that it would stay true now; he didn’t want Marcus’ last memory of him as an emotional wreck.
They made short work of hitching the small trailer to the SUV, then loaded up the motorcycle. Mike had given David the old trailer, along with blankets and straps, and Marcus had an old tarp they’d use as the final cover. They strapped the lines carefully, anchoring the bike down first, then adding the blanket over it for some protection. The last piece was the tarp over the trailer, which they tied to the corners before adding one final cross strap.
Marcus looked at his watch when they were finished, seeing it was twenty to four. He looked back at David, a hint of a frown on his face. “I guess that’s it then,” he said quietly.
“Looks like it,” he replied, not knowing how to say this goodbye. He didn’t want to. He knew he’d be back, and he’d told Marcus as much, but it didn’t make it any easier.
“David, I”
He looked up, shaking his head. It was still too strange to hear Marcus call him ‘David.’ Something about it just didn’t fit. “No,” he interrupted. “I’m going to be back, and we’ll text and… whatever.” He waved a hand, taking a step toward his friend. “Dude, you have given me so much this last year, and I can’t thank you enough for it. I don’t think I would’ve figured anything out without your help, and to know someone else who’s started life over and been able to make it through that…” He cracked a smile then. “And for seriously not firing my ass when you found out my secret and my past and all that shit…”
Marcus nodded slowly, a half smile on his face. “I have to admit, things made way more sense once I finally knew who you were… not that it would’ve changed anything.”
“You think?” David’s voice was doubtful.
He smirked. “Like you said… rockstar had nothing to do with it. I already liked you for the hipster trash you were.” They laughed. “Which is why this sucks so goddamn much,” he continued. “You’re one of my closest friends and I just have to…” He shook his head, sighing. “I want you to go, but I don’t. That sound fuckin’ crazy or what?”
He shook his head. “Not at all… I keep thinking the exact same thing.”
Marcus smiled and grabbed him in a hug. “M’gonna fuckin’ miss you, dude.”
He returned the embrace, nodding. “Me too.”
They pulled away a moment later and Marcus pushed him toward the car. “Now get the hell outta here,” he said. “Your fair maiden awaits.”
David grinned, glad that it wasn’t an overly emotional departure between them, and opened the car door. Indeed, he did have to find out if he still had a girlfriend, or fiancée, or anything, because if there was one thing that he’d learned from starting over, it was that everything in life would always be unpredictable. However, if he paid a little more attention to the universe, the tides wouldn’t rock the boat quite as much.
“See you when I see you?” he called to Marcus.
The barman nodded, giving a little wave. “Send me up a flare, sailor. Godspeed.”
He grinned and dropped into the driver’s seat, ready to finally head east and chase every sunrise along the way.
Writer: Ally (wasted_rawkstar)
Fandom: Simple Plan
Rating: R
Summary: After a disastrous fifth album release, the future of Simple Plan is uncertain. With a growing rift between the members, and different passions pulling them in different directions, no one's sure how they'll reconcile the band. So one member takes things into his own hands and makes the only decision he can, putting his relationship and friendships in jeopardy. But will it pay off in the end? It's the gamble he's willing to take.
Parts One to Eleven
The cool breeze rushed in through the open windows and back door, the wind chime tinkling softly with the movement and Louna smiled, looking into her backyard where Yuki was stretched out on the cool grass. It was a hot, late August evening and she was sitting at her kitchen table, updating a spreadsheet on her computer while eating dinner and trying to cool the house off with open doors and windows. The summer had dragged along, with only a few trips out of town, and definitely more work than play. She’d earned too many overtime hours, and she knew the conversation she’d had the week before with her mother and Yanick, her mother’s business partner, would inevitably lead to a promotion. She wasn’t sure that she wanted more responsibilities at the firm, but she wouldn’t turn the offer down either. If anything, the promotion would ensure she stayed in Montreal instead of following David’s footsteps and running away to who-knows-where. However, nothing was certain. She had to get through this major project at work first, see what the outcome of it was, and then maybe the promotion conversation would continue. It was still a few weeks off, and for that she was grateful.
She finished the spreadsheet half an hour later and uploaded the new file to her dropbox, taking a long drink of wine as she looked back outside. She laughed to herself, seeing Yuki sprawled on his back, his paws up in the air and his tail swishing lazily in the breeze. She wondered if she should join him; maybe after she finished dinner. She set the wine aside and picked up her plate, eating the quinoa salad and cold pickled beets, one of her favorite summertime meals. It always reminded her of camping trips with David a few summers ago, because he loved it as well, so they always packed containers of it for their moto trips. She finished the beets with a sigh. She’d been thinking of him more the last week because it was his birthday in a few days. It would be another milestone without him; the second birthday he’d been gone. Somehow that made the time he’d been gone seem much longer than it really was, even though it hadn’t been quite a year and a half yet. She hoped it wasn’t a full two years before he returned, but she had no way to know.
The email he’d sent Jeff at the end of June had been the last time they’d had any sign from him. All she could hope for now was maybe another phone call from his sister, or more flowers on some special occasion. She wouldn’t let herself wish or hope for his abrupt reappearance, because that seemed like too much to ask for after the six-month silence. She’d rather have a little sign, a little heads-up that maybe he was closer to coming back and in a better place than when he’d left. She wanted him to be better, and happier, and have found the peace and solace for which he’d been searching. It would be cruel if he’d gone away and used all the time to gain nothing. She knew though, that it wouldn’t have been in vain. David would find what he needed, and probably in the most unlikely of places. That had always been something that surprised her - how they could both make something from nothing. Their shared knack for spinning a situation always proved amusing, and she hoped he’d kept that part of himself, because she couldn’t imagine him without it.
As she set her empty place back on the table and reached for her wineglass, her eye caught on the notification box that had just popped up on her computer. Six new files had been added to her dropbox. She frowned, wondering who was working so late at night besides her. She opened the dropbox folder, her eyes scanning down the dates on the various folders to see which had been modified that day. She saw the one with the spreadsheet she’d added a half hour ago, then scrolled down. Her breath halted in her throat as she found the next folder. It wasn’t a work related folder - it was one of her personal ones, and there was only one other person she’d shared those folders with. She stared at the folder, the cursor hovering over the icon while her heart raced. She imagined him sitting in a café somewhere, adding the files to her folder and waiting while it updated, not knowing that she sat in her kitchen, watching the folder update in real time. This was the closet connection they’d had in months, but it was still so superficial. She felt like she’d walked past a payphone a minute too early, and the next person to pass intercepted the phone call that was meant for her. She shook her head; what the hell was she even thinking about?
She clicked the folder, opening it to see what had been added, and her heart leapt. Music files. He’d recorded more songs for her. A grin spread over her face and she could feel the electricity race in her skin as she saw a picture had been included with the files as well. David had gone all out with this offering. She opened the picture first, and grinned more as she saw the image of a wolf pup and a motorcycle - her two favorite things. It seemed that the image hadn’t been photoshopped, and she wondered how she’d never run across it before. She shrugged the question off and read the text overlaid on the image - a track listing and title of sorts. “Covers 2018 - For the Return” was the main heading, and five titles were listed below it, but her breath stopped on the last one.
“Comin’ Home”
All at once she was in the car with him, driving back from some show the band had played in eastern Canada and they were singing that song together. They’d just passed into Quebec and couldn’t have predicted the rest of their trip to get back to Montreal, because it had been a doozy. David’s mp3 player had gotten quite the workout that trip, and they’d listened to this particular song more than a few times.
She read through the track listing again, thoughts spinning wildly in her head as she realized the message David was actually sending her with the songs: he’d made up his mind, and he was going to come home. Her excitement plummeted as fast as it had risen; when was he actually coming home? She scoured the picture, but there was no hint or clue to tell her of his plans. These songs were only the first step of it; his small sign to her that he was going to follow through and fulfill his promise. She raked her teeth over her lips, still staring at the song titles. He’d chosen these songs for particular reasons. She remembered how carefully he put together playlists and mixes for her before, so she knew there was more in these songs than met the eye. Was she ready to listen? She was ready to have him back, that she definitely knew. She closed the picture and moved the cursor to open the first song, but she stopped.
She couldn’t do this alone, and she knew there was someone else who’d be just as excited to hear the songs and know David was going to be on his way home; hopefully Em hadn’t insisted the girls go to bed early that night.
Half an hour later, after a flurry of texts with Emadou, Louna arrived at her sister’s house. She pulled into the driveway and quickly headed inside, her computer tucked safely into her backpack. She pulled off her helmet and glanced at her motorcycle in the driveway while she waited for the front door to open; Em hadn’t told the girls she was coming over, and she wasn’t quite sure why. That question was answered a second later as Emadou slipped outside to join her on the porch, closing the door silently behind her.
“Are you sure about this?” she asked her sister in a hushed tone.
Louna frowned, not understanding the question. “What?”
“Sharing this with Ella… I don’t want her hopes up thinking David’s coming back tomorrow, when it could be weeks or months still. I know you’re excited to share this with her, but I…” she trailed off, her eyes wistful.
Louna deflated, seeing then exactly why Emadou didn’t want her daughter’s hopes raised. It was entirely possible that David could remain gone for awhile longer, be it another few weeks or even months, like Em had suggested. There was no justification to subject Ella to that. Louna had hardly realized the implications herself, too caught up in her own emotions at David’s gift to see the reality of what was there. Of course her sister was right. But that didn’t stop her wanting to still share the songs with Ella.
She wrung her hands around the helmet strap, looking down at her chipped, gray nail polish in the dim porch light. “Can she just listen to them with me? With us?” she asked, looking up at her sister hopefully. “And we don’t have to tell her why he sent them, or anything… we’ll just listen and that’s it.”
Emadou sighed, knowing Louna wouldn’t relent without a fight. “How many did he send?” she asked after a moment.
“Five.”
She nodded to herself. If they listened to all of them, Ella would realize why David had sent them. Her daughter was much smarter than she gave her credit for, and she was glad Ella had strong figures in her aunt and grandmother to look up to. “You can listen to three… but I get to choose them,” she finally said.
Louna smiled slightly; it was a better deal than nothing.
They went inside together a minute later and Louna settled in the family room while Em went upstairs to get Ella. She opened her computer and clicked the folder to bring up the music files. She didn’t want to show Ella the picture anymore, because for sure she would see the ‘Comin’ Home’ title and have more questions. Emadou was right; they could listen to a few songs together and reassure Ella that he was still thinking of them, even if he hadn’t come back yet.
Footsteps skipped down the stairs and into the family room, Ella’s face bright as she beelined to Louna, giving her an enormous hug. She couldn’t help grinning - it had been almost two weeks since she’d seen her nieces, and clearly that was too long. The summer was flying past with too much work and not enough of anything else. It hadn’t been until David left that she realized he’d always planned their ‘play’ trips. He always had a ride to go on, or show to see, or some suggestion of where to travel to next, and Louna had always been up to go along. Without him, she’d stuck to the same five or six rides around the city, and those hadn’t even varied much while she was with Jeff. God she needed a change.
She smoothed down Ella’s dark hair, smiling and vowing to see the girls more often the next couple months. “Hi sweetie,” she greeted her, gently breaking the hug after a long moment.
Ella smiled, looking up at her. “Mama said you have a surprise for me.”
She nodded. “I do… I got something earlier today and wanted to share it with you.”
Emadou walked in then, giving her sister a stern look as she sat down in the armchair at the side of the couch and picked up the computer.
“Mama’s gonna show us, okay?” Louna asked.
Ella frowned, looking doubtfully at the computer. “What is it?”
“You’ll figure it out,” Louna reassured her, guiding her to sit beside her on the couch. “Just listen, okay?”
Ella glanced up at her, excitement in her eyes. “Is it music?” she asked, voice hopeful.
She smiled back. “Just listen,” she said again.
Ella instantly pressed back into the sofa, snuggling beside Louna and linking their fingers in a handhold. Louna tucked her head to Ella’s, extremely glad she’d come over to share this moment together. It would make it easier and harder all at once, but she knew it would be worth it.
A quiet moment passed while Emadou stared at the computer screen, then finally moved her finger over the touchpad to choose a file. It opened and a soft guitar strum came from the speakers. She turned the volume a little louder and looked back to her daughter and sister, wondering what would come of tonight, and if David’s promise would really come true in the end.
His voice came on then, and Ella gasped, looking up at Louna, her eyes wide. “David?” she whispered.
Louna nodded, pulling Ella a little closer and kissing her forehead instead of replying. David’s voice crooned through the speakers, a little rougher than it had been, but unmistakable all the same. She closed her eyes, listening intently to the song she knew so well, and pondering why he’d chosen it. Perhaps she’d know in time, but tonight she just needed to hear his voice and know that he was still thinking of her. He’d given her songs to hold onto now until he came back, and she wasn’t going to waste any more time without him.
# # #
David pushed the mop bucket back into the closet of the back room, then quickly washed his hands in the kitchen sink. He was definitely not going to miss cleaning the bathrooms of the bar, nor the sight of puke-soaked paper towels in the garbage. He smirked; it was the little things. He walked back to the bar, wondering if Marcus had already closed both the tills, or if he’d be doing that one last time too. He came around the corner and instantly raised an eyebrow. Marcus leaned against the back counter, two shot glasses and a bottle of top-shelf whiskey next to him. David shook his head as he walked over to the barman, the memories of last September rushing into his mind.
Thank god Marcus had discovered his secret - found out who he really was, and confronted him about it - it was the only way he’d been able to make it through this far. Marcus had known then how to help him, and they’d been able to work through it together. Thinking back on it, David felt so silly about how scared he’d been. He’d thought for sure that he would be fired for lying about his past and himself, but those lies had somehow tightened their friendship. They both shared having to start their lives over, and David was forever grateful for the forces that had brought him to Halfmoon Bay and to Marcus’ bar. There had been reasons for everything that had happened the last year and a half, and he hoped the last missing piece would still be waiting for him in Montreal.
“Remember that night?” Marcus asked him.
David stopped at the counter and looked at the whiskey bottle, nodding slowly. “Absolutely.”
“Still think I should’ve fired you?” he asked with a smirk.
He laughed. “No… I know better now.”
“You sure about that?”
They looked at one another, David knowing what Marcus was really asking, but the answer wasn’t going to change. He was ready to go home; ready to put together this new life he’d built for himself and see if it really would work out. And, more than anything, it was time to see if what he’d left in Montreal could still fit into his new life, because there would be a lot more to lose for him there if it didn’t work, and he wasn’t prepared to drive back across the country if things went bad.
“Yeah,” he finally said after a minute. “I’m sure.”
Marcus smiled and poured the shots then. “Just checkin… so here’s to you packing your car tomorrow, and not showing up for work.”
David laughed and lifted the shot, tipping it to Marcus’. “And the long-ass drive back to Montreal.”
They grinned at each other.
“Salud.”
“Salud.”
They slammed the shots, discarding the glasses back to the bar and staring at the upturned chairs. It was surreal that this night had finally come, because it seemed not too long ago that David had doubted ever getting to the point of wanting to go back. He knew that the official split of Pierre and Chuck’s friendship had been his turning point, and how fucking sad and ridiculous was it that two other people had controlled his life and happiness so much? And how he hadn’t truly realized it, until it was much too late. How naïve he’d been.
Now he knew what it actually was to live his life, and not have someone else dictate it. He was finally free to do all the things he wanted, and not have to worry about any protocols, other than what was expected of society. He smirked to himself; society’s expectations were low compared to the standards the band leaders had held.
Marcus pushed up from the bar a second later, wiping his hands on the towel over his shoulder. “Know what time you’re comin’ over for the bike?” he asked.
David shook his head. “No… not really on a solid timeline tomorrow. I’ll text you when I’m on my way though.”
Marcus nodded. “All right… I’ll be around til four.”
David half smiled. “Well then I guess it’ll be before that.”
He laughed. “Yeah, just give you a little more incentive to get that six o’clock ferry back to the mainland.”
The sarcastic note in Marcus’ voice on the last word made David laugh again, moreso because it was a subtle dig at all the patrons who just assumed they were on an island because they’d taken a ferry. He could hear Marcus’ snarky comeback instantly; “It’s a peninsula, thank you very much. Water on three sides, not four.” David was thankful he’d never made that mistake, since he’d actually looked at a map and not just blindly gone along with things.
“Guess that’ll do it,” he said with a nod.
“You stayin’ in Vancouver for the night, or…?”
He shrugged. “Just gonna depend on what’s what tomorrow.”
Marcus nodded. “Sometimes it’s better not to have a plan… just go with the universe.”
David smiled. “Tell me about it.”
The next morning, David was up at ten, despite not getting to sleep until after 3:30. It was just as well; he had a lot of shit to do. The first two hours he was up, he spent packing his car with the few belongings he’d accumulated. There wasn’t much more than what he’d come with, but a couple boxes and an extra suitcase of clothes took up more space than he’d planned for.
When things were finally packed, he went inside to clean. He’d borrowed the supplies from Rich and Greta so he didn’t have to throw away or pack those too. He shook his head as he mopped the bathroom and kitchen, having vivid flashbacks to cleaning his house before he’d left. It had felt so empty - so lonely. He’d hardly been living there; just existing. The only times there had truly been any life in the house was when Louna and Yuki were there.
David blinked hard and glanced out the kitchen window. He hadn’t thought about Yuki in ages, or at least not since the last time Louna had sent him some random picture, but he could hardly remember when that might’ve been. Thinking of Yuki made him realize that he hadn’t seen the wolf family for a few weeks. It had been a random Friday evening when they’d last been around, David seeing them at the trees when he’d driven in from work at the auto shop, before heading to work at the bar. The wolves had been languishing in the quiet evening, sprawled on the grass in the lowering sun. But as soon as his tires hit the gravel of the parking strip, they’d bolted into the cover of the trees, protecting themselves from the oncoming predator. He’d sighed and climbed slowly from the car, shutting the door quietly. He’d hoped they would’ve learned he wasn’t a threat, but he knew it would never happen. They were wild, and he had to let them be.
He stared out the window, wondering where they were; if the family had moved on to a different place. He wasn’t certain about the migration patterns of wolves, except that they followed food sources, and he couldn’t imagine there were many more deer or elk around for them to hunt. It was definite wishful thinking on his part, but he hoped to get one more glimpse of them before he left, because he knew somehow they were part of his journey too, and he wanted to have a proper goodbye.
He tore his eyes from the window after a moment and finished mopping the house, focusing instead on the music coming from his laptop. He hummed and sang along while he worked and before he realized it, it was just before two o’clock. He finished cleaning the windows and counters in the kitchen, did a quick scrub in the bathroom before he showered, and then finally emptied the fridge. He’d thrown most everything away, and what he wasn’t taking for the first part of his trip, he was giving to Rich and Greta for the bed and breakfast.
He packed up quickly, keeping an eye on the clock now. The last things into his car were the bag of groceries, his travel duffle, and his backpack with his laptop. He walked back into the small cabin after the few items were loaded, and let his eyes sweep the walls and rooms, unsure when he’d ever see this place again. His throat tightened; this had felt more like a real home to him than any place he’d been the last few years.
Fuck.
Now all the doubts and fears came at him, asking if he was making the right choice. Was he ready to go back to Montreal? Or did he just miss Louna so much now that it had clouded his judgment?
No; no matter how much Halfmoon Bay had felt like home it had never truly been home without her. Her smile and laughter and spirit were what his real home needed, and it was more than time to get back to them.
He stepped back onto the porch then, closing the front door quietly and locked the deadbolt, the key slick in his sweaty palm. There was a reason he was leaving; a reason why he was going back. He’d made a promise, and it was time to fulfill it. God, he hoped he could.
He turned away from the door, heading down the steps and to his loaded SUV, reflexively looking back to the trees as he passed the front bumper and he froze.
Luna stared at him from the tree line, her golden eyes intense. This was the closest they’d ever been, and she wasn’t bolting. She merely sat, watching him. David tightened his grip around the keys. Could she sense he was leaving? That this was going to be the last time they saw each other? He still didn’t know how or why they were connected. It was the one mystery he’d yet to figure out, but he couldn’t stay any longer to try to solve it. It was time to go.
She threw her head back then, a heart wrenching howl splitting the silence of the peaceful afternoon and piercing David’s chest. He’d heard the same desperation before, and he knew it was because of him. He closed his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered to her. “I have to go.”
He slipped around the car, scrambling into the driver’s seat and starting the engine. Luna stayed at the trees, howling again as David backed down the driveway. His heart twisted beneath his ribs and blood was hot in his face, but he knew he couldn’t stay. He had to say goodbye, and hope for the best.
His goodbyes with Rich and Greta were somber, and he promised he’d come visit sometime, because he knew he’d be back eventually. After the last year, Halfmoon Bay would be with him forever. That would never change.
He pulled into Marcus’ driveway, emotions heavy on his shoulders, and he stared at the open garage doors. He was really leaving. Picking up the trailer and motorcycle was the last thing, and then it would be time to head east. How strange that his life seemed to continue on trajectories of cardinal directions. He’d been headed west for so long now, chasing every sunset, that it seemed incongruent to now turn around. But he had to; he had no other choice.
He carefully steered his SUV, backing up to the garage so they could hitch the trailer and not even a minute after he shut the engine off, Marcus was out his front door, striding over. He swallowed hard; there was no way he could ever thank or repay Marcus for what he’d done for him, and he didn’t want this to be their goodbye.
Marcus grinned as David climbed out of the car. “Cuttin the time close, dude,” he teased.
He smiled weakly. “Always pushing the boundaries,” he retorted.
He laughed. “No shit. Let’s get you loaded up and outta here, yeah? Start this drive off right.”
He nodded, grateful for his friend’s nonchalance. If Marcus was feeling anything about their upcoming goodbyes, he was doing an excellent job of hiding it, but then, David knew he’d always been a bit more sensitive. It was his emotional streak that was both a detriment and an advantage to his relationships. He still struggled with it both ways, but it wasn’t often anymore that it got the best of him. He just hoped that it would stay true now; he didn’t want Marcus’ last memory of him as an emotional wreck.
They made short work of hitching the small trailer to the SUV, then loaded up the motorcycle. Mike had given David the old trailer, along with blankets and straps, and Marcus had an old tarp they’d use as the final cover. They strapped the lines carefully, anchoring the bike down first, then adding the blanket over it for some protection. The last piece was the tarp over the trailer, which they tied to the corners before adding one final cross strap.
Marcus looked at his watch when they were finished, seeing it was twenty to four. He looked back at David, a hint of a frown on his face. “I guess that’s it then,” he said quietly.
“Looks like it,” he replied, not knowing how to say this goodbye. He didn’t want to. He knew he’d be back, and he’d told Marcus as much, but it didn’t make it any easier.
“David, I”
He looked up, shaking his head. It was still too strange to hear Marcus call him ‘David.’ Something about it just didn’t fit. “No,” he interrupted. “I’m going to be back, and we’ll text and… whatever.” He waved a hand, taking a step toward his friend. “Dude, you have given me so much this last year, and I can’t thank you enough for it. I don’t think I would’ve figured anything out without your help, and to know someone else who’s started life over and been able to make it through that…” He cracked a smile then. “And for seriously not firing my ass when you found out my secret and my past and all that shit…”
Marcus nodded slowly, a half smile on his face. “I have to admit, things made way more sense once I finally knew who you were… not that it would’ve changed anything.”
“You think?” David’s voice was doubtful.
He smirked. “Like you said… rockstar had nothing to do with it. I already liked you for the hipster trash you were.” They laughed. “Which is why this sucks so goddamn much,” he continued. “You’re one of my closest friends and I just have to…” He shook his head, sighing. “I want you to go, but I don’t. That sound fuckin’ crazy or what?”
He shook his head. “Not at all… I keep thinking the exact same thing.”
Marcus smiled and grabbed him in a hug. “M’gonna fuckin’ miss you, dude.”
He returned the embrace, nodding. “Me too.”
They pulled away a moment later and Marcus pushed him toward the car. “Now get the hell outta here,” he said. “Your fair maiden awaits.”
David grinned, glad that it wasn’t an overly emotional departure between them, and opened the car door. Indeed, he did have to find out if he still had a girlfriend, or fiancée, or anything, because if there was one thing that he’d learned from starting over, it was that everything in life would always be unpredictable. However, if he paid a little more attention to the universe, the tides wouldn’t rock the boat quite as much.
“See you when I see you?” he called to Marcus.
The barman nodded, giving a little wave. “Send me up a flare, sailor. Godspeed.”
He grinned and dropped into the driver’s seat, ready to finally head east and chase every sunrise along the way.