Liberated -- Part One
Liberated -- Part One
Writer: Ally (wasted_rawkstar)
Fandom: Simple Plan
Rating: R
Summary: After a disastrous fifth album release, the future of Simple Plan is uncertain. With a growing rift between the members, and different passions pulling them in different directions, no one's sure how they'll reconcile the band. So one member takes things into his own hands and makes the only decision he can, putting his relationship and friendships in jeopardy. But will it pay off in the end? It's the gamble he's willing to take.
The slam of a car door made David look up and out his front living room window. He could just see the back of his girlfriend’s car, then seconds later heard her voice through the cracked window, calling to Yuki, her dog, which answered the question of why she wasn’t on her motorcycle. David shoved the record crates hastily back toward the record console and stood up from the floor, closing the door of the entry closet to hide the stack of boxes he’d piled there. Paws thumped up his porch steps and a moment later there was a soft knock on the door before Louna let herself inside. David smiled, discarding the album he’d picked up off the floor, and Yuki raced at him, making Louna laugh as she closed the door.
“I wasn’t sure you’d be home,” she told him, stepping over and sharing a light kiss. “But since you’re on the way from the park…”
He smiled, nodding as his hands dropped to her waist and he gently kneaded his fingers into her hips. “Pretty safe assumption,” he replied, then smirked. “And no, I haven’t even thought about dinner yet.”
Louna laughed and shook her head. “That wasn’t even in my head,” she said. “But now I’ll have to take pity and see what your fridge has to work with.”
He made a face as he dropped his hands, letting her walk back toward his kitchen and past the stairs. “Not a whole lot, unfortunately,” he replied. “But you can probably work some magic.” He leaned in the doorway of the kitchen, reaching down to scratch Yuki’s head as they watched Louna move effortlessly through the room, opening cabinets and drawers and seamlessly throwing together a meal that David wouldn’t have believed was possible, had he not seen it happen so many times before. The last three years had provided him with ample time to see what his girlfriend was capable of in the kitchen, but it never ceased to surprise him.
Three years ago they’d met through mutual friends and it had been a slow start to their relationship. They’d both spent the months leading up to their first meeting regrouping from failed relationships and neither was sure about trying another so soon. The advantage of David’s career and constant travels had been almost a blessing for them, as they were forced to spend time apart. He was a musician in an internationally successful band and she worked full time at her mother’s design and marketing firm. Somehow it always amused them that their careers seemed to be swapped for their personalities. Louna was carefree and spontaneous and would push the envelope for everything, and while David had all those traits, he also craved structure and organization. Never had that been more evident that on a weekend trip they’d taken, and he’d shown her a planned agenda on his phone. He’d said it was just a rough guide for their trip, but she knew better. She read it dutifully, then laughed and threw caution to the wind and made him go skinny dipping in a lake. Things had never been the same since.
“So, were you actually going to put on music or were you just reorganizing your collection again?”
Louna’s voice cut through his thoughts and he looked up, a little surprised that she’d noticed the album crates in the living room. Her gaze was expectant as she glanced up from the cauliflower she was cutting, her short hair spilling down across her forehead. David blinked slowly; that same image of her atop him in bed flashed through his mind and suddenly he was much happier she’d come over that evening. He shrugged. “Was just thinking about it… going through the albums again to swap some stuff out of storage.”
She nodded, looking back to the cutting board. “Now that the gloomy winter blues are almost over? Time for the spring start over?”
He half smiled and pushed up from the doorframe, suddenly inspired with what he wanted to listen to. “Yeah, something like that,” he replied. They met eyes for a moment and shared a smile before he went back to his living room, rifling through the crates before he found the album that had popped into his head. Somehow he knew the blues vibe of the record would be good for the evening - he just hoped Louna wouldn’t read too much into it.
The guitar rang through the speakers and David listened for a minute before turning back and sauntering to the kitchen. He smiled as he heard Louna humming softly along with the music. Yuki had stretched out on the rug in front of the back door, his head on his paws, but his eyes still trained on Louna. David took in the scene, a content feeling in his chest, and he wondered how he’d be able to leave this all behind. He swallowed hard - he’d already made up his mind.
“How’d your meeting go today?”
Louna’s voice pulled him from the thoughts and he met her eyes with a shrug, then shook his head. “It was fine.”
Immediately she stopped chopping the zucchini and looked at him, doubt in her eyes. “That doesn’t sound like it was fine,” she replied.
David held back a sigh, feeling torn that Louna knew him so well. Three years together had taught her the intricacies of her boyfriend’s moods and expressions, and it was harder and harder to keep anything from her - especially about the band and his career. And the worst part about that was how much those had been weighing on him lately. It was impossible for him to simply put his career aside when he was home anymore, no matter how hard he tried, and he knew Louna could see that, even if she didn’t say anything. He shook his head again as he stepped out of the doorway and walked to the pantry, grabbing a bottle of wine. “You know how it is right now,” he replied, digging out his corkscrew from the utensil drawer and easily opening the bottle. “We’re just in total limbo with the label since the album flopped… they’re talking about a possible overseas tour, but not offering us any cash to do it with.”
Louna handed him two stemless wineglasses from the drainboard - the same two they always used. He poured generous amounts in each before recorking the bottle.
“So what? We’re supposed to finance our tour with our own savings and hope we make enough to pay ourselves back?”
Louna frowned and they both took sips of the red wine before David spoke again.
“I’m to the point that I’m just done with all this,” he told her, his voice lowering.
It wasn’t a new confession - he’d told her as much before, but this time she could hear something different in his voice. There was a certainty or resolve that hadn’t been there when he’d mentioned feeling finished in the past. “Have you talked with the guys about it?” she asked. “You and Seb and Jeff must’ve talked after the meeting…”
He took another drink, eyes drifting to look outside as he shrugged again. “Yeah, we all kind of talked about it, but no one’s willing to commit to anything… they just want to get through the benefit on Saturday and then revisit everything.” He rolled his eyes. “Pierre and Chuck both seem to think that all of us being together at that will somehow spark the clarity of what we’re meant to be doing.”
Louna shared David’s doubt. “Because the foundation handing out a check to whatever organization that night will offer insight about going on tour?”
David met her gaze and knew she felt the same way about it. “Exactly,” he replied.
She shook her head, taking one more sip of wine before picking the knife back up and resuming the zucchini prep. “I think you guys just need to talk this all out… I mean, have you really even had a true band meeting since all the shit with the label hit? Had a regroup session to figure out what happened with the album?”
He leaned forward on the counter and shook his head. “No, because Pierre and Chuck know that it was their fault… they overworked everything, didn’t listen to hardly anything that Jeff or I had to say, and then ended up rewriting half of what we’d already approved for the album.” He looked up at her. “You remember what happened the day I got the final cut of it.”
Louna made a face, recalling none-too-fondly the day that David had received the mastered files. It had been an agonizing hour of listening to songs she barely recognized from their original incarnations, some songs that she couldn’t remember hearing, and one song that David swore he’d never even heard before. In the end he’d simply walked away from the computer, grabbed his moto helmet, and barged out the front door. Louna sat in stunned silence, cringing as the motorcycle ripped down the street, and she hoped that David wouldn’t do anything reckless on the ride. Hours later he’d made it back in one piece, but his mood had barely lifted, and his phone, which he’d left in his office, had blown up with messages from Jeff and Sebastien. The mastered version of the album had taken them all by surprise. His reply to both bandmates had been short and pointed: “Guess if you don’t fucking live in California you don’t get a fucking vote. Glad we finally know our place in the band right?” From that point on it had been all they could do to ‘play nice’ with the “California Faction” as they had dubbed it.
“I still can’t believe they did that to you,” Louna replied.
David half shrugged. “I think it was a long time coming… but they could’ve done it some other way.”
“Obviously,” she scoffed in reply.
He smiled slightly and took a long drink of his wine.
The sun had dipped behind the horizon and the streaked clouds were a hazy orange color. The melody of the bluesy guitar track floated through the kitchen and Louna finished chopping the zucchini, layering it into the baking dish then leaning over to kiss David’s temple. “Fuck ‘em.”
He laughed, a smile finally pulling at his lips as he pushed up from the counter with a nod. “Fuck ‘em.”
They shared a long kiss, David wrapping his hands over her waist and circling his fingers over her lower back. She hummed happily before pulling away, gently nuzzling his nose as his hands dropped. “You want dinner or do you want dessert?” she asked suggestively.
David smirked. “I always want dessert,” he murmured, reaching down to pinch her ass.
She giggled and swatted his hand away. “All in good time,” she said.
David flashed her a grin and she rolled her eyes, knowing exactly how their night would end up, and grateful that she’d learned to always plan to stay the night with him. She hoped the day they’d move in together wasn’t much further off, because it was getting ridiculous to only stay one or two nights a week at the house she was renting, but David would get to that in his own time and in his own way. She smiled; the way he was acting lately it seemed the day was coming sooner than she thought it might, and she couldn’t wait.
# # #
David made his way through the dim bar toward the back corner, giving Jeff a nod as their eyes finally met. A few days had passed since the night Louna had come over, and David was meeting his friend for their weekly drinks together. It had been hard to break his momentum on his house project, but he knew that if he didn’t show up for a beer with Jeff, the guitarist would definitely suspect something, and the last thing David wanted was to tip off anyone to what he was doing. He shook the thoughts off as he approached Jeff’s table - really everyone should have seen this coming, he thought, but he knew they’d all be blindsided. It had to be that way though. He couldn’t keep going on like this; his façade was only getting thinner and it was now or never to get on with his life. He just hoped he could pick up the pieces when it was all over.
“Hey!” Jeff’s voice was cheerful as he greeted David.
He smiled, settling across the table from his friend. “How’s it going?” he asked, shrugging out of his jacket. “Better than the last meeting?”
Jeff cracked a smile. “Moderately. You?”
He pretended to ponder for a moment. “Guess you could say better… but we are seeing the California Faction in two days.”
Jeff groaned. “Don’t remind me… I think I’d be happier about this banquet if we actually weren’t all going to be there.”
David smirked, nodding. “Seriously… maybe we should just skip it. Give them back the spotlight they seem to want.”
The guitarist looked doubtful. “But isn’t that just playing into their hands? Showing them we’re as disinterested as ever?”
He shrugged. “Maybe… but it’s just a fucking cheque,” he said. “We don’t all need to be there.”
The waiter came over to their table then, setting down glasses of water and taking their usual drink orders: an IPA for Jeff and a vodka soda with lemon for David.
As the guy walked away, Jeff shook his head in amusement. “We’re so fucking predictable,” he said with a laugh. “We’re gonna be fifty and still coming here, doing this.”
David raised an eyebrow skeptically. “If you think that’s the case then we definitely need to change things up. How about I get to pick the place next week?”
Jeff smiled. “Fair enough… where and when?”
David matched his smile. “I’ll keep it a surprise… just watch for a text.”
The guitarist laughed and reached for his water. “I’ll hold you to it.” He took a sip then relaxed back in his chair, eyes drifting over the familiar surroundings.
David followed his gaze, wondering what his friend was thinking. How many times had they met here and bemoaned the state of their lives, or celebrated the highs it had brought? So many memories were in these walls, but it was time for a change. It had been time for one, but no one was brave enough for it.
Fuck. David hoped he was making the right decision.
“Is Lou coming Saturday?” Jeff asked.
He blinked hard, forcing himself back into the present, and nodded. “Yeah,” he replied after a second. “She’ll be there. Figured since all the couples,” he stressed the word in a not so friendly way, “would be there it was only fair to include her.” He paused, noting the hint of surprise in Jeff’s gaze. “Mimi’s coming, right?”
He shook his head. “Chuck told me the list was closed when I asked.”
“That fuckin’ asshole… you should just not show up.”
“Believe me, if I didn’t think shit would seriously hit the fan, I might consider that… but with the way things are right now? I’m playing nice until things are settled again.”
The waiter returned with their drinks and David took a large gulp of his before replying to Jeff’s statement. “But do you honestly think that’s the right choice? Do you really want to continue with this shit show or is it time to finally hang it up and try something else? We got fucked with the last album, dude… you know it, I know it, Seb knows it… our girlfriends know it… Do we really want to commit back to any of that? Is any of that worth our time anymore? Do you honestly think that anything is going to change after what’s happened?” He stared intently across the table to his friend, not entirely sure he wanted to hear the guitarist’s reply, but he’d asked the questions for a good reason. He wanted to make sure he wasn’t alone in how he felt, and if Jeff echoed his sentiments then it would make him feel better about what he’d decided.
A familiar 80s song filled in the silence between them as David waited for Jeff to answer. The pause stretched on too long and he tightened his grip on the cold glass, knowing then that his friend probably didn’t feel the same.
“David,” he finally started slowly, “what are you really asking?” His voice was quiet and held an edge of curiosity.
He sank back into his chair, dropping his hands to his lap and shrugging exaggeratedly. “Dude, I don’t know… I’m just so fucking frustrated with all this. I don’t want to pander to Pierre and Chuck anymore, but that’s all they expect from us now. And I’m fucking sick of it. We used to have a say in the band, then they went off to Cali and basically said ‘fuck you, this is what we’re doing now’ and since when did we just roll over and take it? Why did we stop fighting back? We fuckin’ fought for album four and that was totally worth it. So why didn’t we just fucking walk away from album five?”
Jeff met David’s eyes and shook his head slowly. “I don’t know.” He took a long drink of his beer and let the mood settle between them, David taking a sip of his cocktail then letting out a heavy sigh.
“I’m sorry man, I just… them coming to town right now… after that meeting?”
“No, I get it. And actually I do feel kinda the same way. The last thing we need to do is try to go on tour right now.” He spun his glass around on the cardboard coaster, fingers making trails through the condensation. “Like, we should regroup if we can and just put this album behind us… take a fresh start if that’s what we all want, right?”
He nodded heavily. “Exactly.” He took a breath before his next statement, wondering if it was going to reveal too much to Jeff, but for as close as they were it was only fair to be honest. “And no one should hold it against us if the band isn’t what we want to move forward with.”
Jeff’s eyebrows rose instantly. “Is that really what you’re thinking? You don’t want to do the band anymore?”
He shrugged noncommittally. “I keep tossing it around,” he said. “Keep feeling like I’ll just have some fucking divine inspiration or something that tells me what I should do at the right moment.” He smiled wryly. “Or you or Lou will tell me to get my head out of my ass.”
Jeff laughed, nodding and raising his glass. “That’ll probably happen first,” he said.
David laughed and toasted his glass with Jeff’s. “Then here’s to making that happen,” he replied. They both drank then, and left the lull in the conversation, neither sure how to continue after the admission.
Jeff didn’t want to outright ask David then if he had truly made up his mind about the band, but somehow it felt like he had. However, things weren’t quite adding up in his mind. Had he missed some subtext in their earlier conversation? Was David just bemoaning the California faction like he always did and he’d be over all this by the time they parted ways? He’d never been able to get a truly accurate read on the bassist and his rapidly fluctuating moods, so he wasn’t going to trust his gut on this one either. He knew everything in David’s head would be past in a few days, so there was no use dwelling on it. And more often times than not lately it seemed that Louna was able to put any fires out before they had a chance to spread, for that Jeff was grateful. She had brought a certain balance to David’s life that hadn’t always been there, and in the last couple years her presence had helped David more than he probably realized.
He wondered then, what she might’ve said to David about the current band turmoil. Had he shared it with her? If she was coming to the banquet on Saturday she had to at least be aware of some of what was going on. But then, Jeff knew how secretive David could be too. He could always put on a good front when the time called for it; the last year would’ve been impossible without it. Jeff knew, because he’d gotten a little too good at using his own façade. Only when the two of them were together were the masks dropped entirely and the candid conversation could start. The last twelve months had been an artfully curated mess, which it seemed was finally beginning to show the cracks. There was no telling what would happen when the false front finally fell, because if it was divine inspiration that David was truly looking for, then that moment was going to be all he would need, and Jeff dreaded what would come next.
# # #
Music floated into the bathroom from the living room speakers and Louna hummed along as she expertly applied her mascara. She finished the last few swipes on her eyelashes and stepped back to survey her look. The smoky eyes popped beneath her sweeping blonde bangs and were a perfect complement to her dark burgundy shirt. She smiled, tugging at her faux-leather pants once more before putting on her black heels. These special events were secretly her favorite because she could wear the high heels and tower over David. She knew he hated it, but he always overcompensated for it later in bed, and that was never a bad thing. She smiled to herself as she easily applied her lipstick, also burgundy to match her shirt, and hoped that David wouldn’t disappoint tonight.
She checked her phone then, a little startled to realize it was already after six. David had said he’d pick her up by six o’clock and usually for the band functions he’d been exceptionally punctual - especially the last year, and definitely when Pierre and Chuck were involved. She frowned, looking at the time again and leaving the bathroom, going to check her window. She had a clear view of the driveway, but there was no black Volvo there.
She hesitated sending a text, because if he was on the way then he probably wouldn’t answer. She went back to her bedroom, getting her clutch and packing her few essentials into it as she waited for her phone to chime.
Five minutes later he still hadn’t shown up and the knot forming in her stomach tightened. This was unlike David. He would always tell her if he was running late or if something had come up. She wrung her hands around her phone, trying not to chew her lip and get lipstick all over her teeth.
Something felt off to her. She hadn’t said anything to him earlier that week, knowing he was still reeling from the meeting and undoubtedly nervous about this banquet with everyone present. It would be the first time in nearly two months that the band would be together - the California faction putting in the rare Montreal appearance since the disaster of the fifth album.
That was why she had insisted she come to the banquet with David; she would help keep him in check and from going off the rails on his bandmates. She just hoped that really wouldn’t be necessary.
She checked her phone again; five more minutes. She swiped it open and pulled up her favorites list, hitting David’s name as she paced in front of the window. Instantly the phone connected, but not with what she expected.
David’s voice was hollow and automatic on the voicemail greeting. “This is David. Leave a message.”
She hung up without leaving a message - he never listened to his voicemails anyway. Her stomach knotted tighter. The only times she ever got his voicemail automatically were when he was out of service on some random motorcycle trip, and there was no way he’d left town tonight. She shook her head at the flash of thought that broke through her anxiety.
No. He wouldn’t.
She opened their messages and typed quickly. “Almost here I hope!” She hit send but a second later the red exclamation mark appeared beside it. She tried to send the text again, but to no avail. Was his phone broken? Or just out of service? She tried to send the message once more, but the angry red circle remained next to it. Worry started to bubble in her throat and she stared at the message. What was happening? Where was he? She scrolled up in her messages, but stopped short, studying their last exchange about the tie he was supposed to wear tonight. She’d suggested the burgundy one to match her shirt, of course. His reply had seemed overly sweet at the time, but she hadn’t given it much thought.
“Merci! J’adore j’adore j’adore! Et un mille bissou. Toujours.”
Now her breath caught. Was she reading too much into this? She had to be. She was always overreacting, but the slow flames of her intuition were burning in her stomach. Something wasn’t right.
She started in surprise as her phone chimed, but the messages from David remained unchanged. She tapped back to the list and saw a new text from Jeff.
“You on your way? Can’t get texts to D. He drop his phone again? LOL.”
Her stomach dropped, seeing that she wasn’t the only one who couldn’t reach David. She texted back quickly. “Still waiting on him. Don’t know what’s up with his phone. Straight to voicemail too.”
Jeff’s reply was immediate. “Weird. Just come without him. He’ll figure it out and you can be my date while we wait.”
She frowned. “You don’t think he’ll be mad?”
“He’ll get over it. See you soon!”
She sighed, reading over Jeff’s texts. He was right - David would get over it. She grabbed her keys, barely remembering to turn her stereo off before she hurried out the door.
# # #
Exhaustion washed over David as he sat on his stairs, looking at the last couple boxes he had to take out to his car. The last two days had been an absolute blur, and there were two more places he needed to go before everything would be done and maybe he could breathe again. The air around him had been stifling for the last two years, except for those euphoric moments with Louna beside him, when it was just the two of them on a trip somewhere, or just in his kitchen during those forgotten seconds when the world slipped away while he drifted in her gaze. He closed his eyes, letting his head drop and cradling it in his hands. Was he making the right choice? How could he back out now? He needed to do this. His life depended on it. There was no way he could continue on the old path; he had to forge a new one, and this was the only way. Would Louna understand? He could only hope that she might. She deserved the new start as much as he did. He rubbed his eyes and slicked his hair back, shaking his head to clear the thoughts. He had no choice but to follow through with his plan, wherever that would lead him.
He checked his watch - seven o’clock. It was time to go.
He pushed up from the stairs and carefully gathered the boxes he’d stacked next to the front door; he swallowed hard, smelling the familiar perfume waft from the open cardboard box. He took a deep breath - this was the sacrifice he’d make. He had to.
He took the boxes to his car and placed them in the open passenger seat before going back to his front door. He took a cursory glance around the entryway, but he knew there was nothing left to do. He took his keys from his pocket and stepped back out the door, an unwanted lump surging in his throat as he pulled it shut and turned the deadbolt over.
This was it.
This was the beginning of his new start, but it definitely wasn’t the end of anything. Or was it? He had no idea if he’d ever know the answer to that question.
He stared at his front door, the evening growing dark around him as he tried to swallow back all the doubts and fears he’d thought he’d already come to terms with. If it was this hard now, the next two places would be worse.
He tore his eyes away and hurried to the car, throwing himself behind the wheel and starting the engine. The clock on the dash now read ten past seven. He slid the SUV into gear and took another glance at his front door, telling himself that he had no choice but to do this. It was the only way.
He closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath.
In the end they’d understand.
He backed out of the driveway and drove away. The next stop was Louna’s.
# # #
It was ten minutes to seven o’clock when Louna arrived at the hotel, dropping her car at the valet and rushing inside to the banquet hall. Jeff was waiting for her at the door, waving off the overbearing usher and taking her arm to lead her through the maze of tables.
She gripped his arm tightly, anxiety washing over her nerves as they walked. “He’s not here yet?” Even though she knew the answer to the question, she still had to ask.
Jeff shook his head once. “You know how he is,” he replied in a low voice. “He’ll probably show up in an hour, fresh off his motorcycle with some excuse.”
“He wouldn’t do that tonight,” she countered. “He knows how important this is… it has to be something else.” Her voice choked slightly and the thoughts she’d been trying to silence seemed to get louder. No. Not now. He wouldn’t have done that now.
Jeff paused, sensing Louna’s sudden turmoil. “We’ll figure it out, okay?” He tried to reassure her. “Just have to get through this first.” He wanted to offer a consoling smile and a funny remark that maybe David was just backstage working on his proposal, but he could tell it wasn’t the time for it. Instead he gave her arm a squeeze and they finished their walk through the hall.
The din of chatter around them had grown quieter as the guests were all seated at their tables and just as Jeff and Louna reached their table, the lights dimmed and bright spots lit the dais. She sat down between two empty seats without a word, Jeff sliding in beside her and leaving a noticeably empty space where David was meant to be. She turned in her chair to look at the podium and ignore the blatant stares from David’s bandmates and their spouses.
This was not how this night was supposed to go.
She was meant to be there supporting her boyfriend, but now she sought strange reassurance from his best friend. She glanced at Jeff and received a hint of a nod as their eyes met. They could get through this. Whatever was going on, they could figure it out.
The presentation to start the banquet began with a keynote speech from a company director, then a slideshow, and finally dinner was served. The twenty minutes of distraction had been just enough for Louna to settle her nerves and drink one glass of wine to prep for facing the inevitable questions, for which she had no answers.
Fuck, this night was going to go on forever.
The sudden rush of wait staff coming through the hall with trays was enough cover that she didn’t feel entirely rude and out of line to check her phone. Of course there was nothing from David, and she made another failed attempt to send him a message.
When she looked up from the screen, Jeff met her eyes expectantly, but she shook her head. He sighed in resignation, realizing how the rest of the night would play out. There would be no lack of accusatory looks and judgments from the California faction, and it would be entirely unjust to subject Louna to that, because she had nothing to do with David’s absence. However, they certainly wouldn’t see it that way. They would spin his non-appearance how they pleased and make no exceptions to who they hurt in the process. It was a terrible MO that Jeff didn’t think he’d ever get used to. Yet, maybe David being gone tonight would hasten the growing rift and they wouldn’t have to put up with that MO for much longer. He could only hope.
Louna shifted back in her chair, finally facing the table and securing her phone in the clutch on her lap. She took a long drink of water as the waitress placed salads on the table. Embarrassment flushed her cheeks as the woman asked who the vegan plates were for, and she tightened her grip on the glass, staring blankly at the table. How could David have done this, she wondered. Everything had been planned and now he just hadn’t shown up? Left everyone worried and wondering the worst? The thoughts were growing even louder in her head, but she couldn’t let them in yet.
Jeff gestured to Louna’s plate after a moment, then offered a quiet apology that something had come up and the other person wouldn’t be joining them. The waitress simply nodded and took the other salad back when she left. An awkward silence rang around the table then, Louna still gripping her water glass and staring at the wilted salad, feeling terribly out of place without David there.
Right then, it was all she could do not to just get out of her seat, bolt to the door, and go straight to David’s to find out what the hell was going on - if he’d even have any answers for her.
“Louna, where is David?”
She looked up, blinking rapidly as the words pulled her from her thoughts. She met Chuck’s gaze, relieved to see no anger on his face, just expectancy. “I don’t know,” she replied simply, hating that the truth sounded so weak.
Chuck’s eyebrows drew together in confusion. “You don’t know?”
His voice was gentle, free of the animosity she expected. Maybe he didn’t want to make a scene just yet; he’d wait until after the dinner for that move.
“Were you going to meet him here?” he asked.
She shook her head, wondering then if she should tell the truth, or try to create a cover story for her boyfriend. She’d already confessed to not knowing where he was, but she could back-peddle and say something about him not feeling well earlier. Would they buy it? Maybe the truth was easier in this case.
“He was supposed to pick me up at six…” She glanced mistakenly to Pierre, seeing clear anger in the singer’s eyes that made her words waiver. “He never showed.” She dropped her gaze back to the table, grateful to feel Jeff’s hand on her shoulder, to know that she wasn’t facing the faction alone. Jeff would back her up; he and David were always on the same side and there was no reason the guitarist would suddenly switch allegiances just because David wasn’t there.
“You tried to call and text him, right?” Chuck’s question was earnest, his voice still even.
“We both did,” Jeff replied then. “It’s straight to voicemail and the texts aren’t going through at all.”
The drummer frowned, oblivious to the deepening scowl on Pierre’s face. “That doesn’t make sense… you don’t think something happened, do you?”
Jeff shook his head. “Dude, we don’t know. We’re here and can’t get a hold of him… that’s all. Don’t make it something it’s not.”
“I’m not,” Chuck replied, “I’m just-”
“Clearly David had a reason not to be here,” Pierre interrupted them, his voice edged with hostility. “He just didn’t think that the rest of us had a right to know what that was.”
Louna felt Jeff’s hand go still on her shoulder and in her head she screamed at Pierre all the reasons David might’ve had for not coming tonight; the singer’s betrayal of the band being the clearest to everyone but himself of course.
“Pierre, I am not going to do this with you right now,” Jeff replied, his voice level and adamant. “There is probably a simple explanation for why David isn’t here and I’m not going to let you spin this into some subversive move against you that’s meant to fragment this band even further. You’re the one who made that bed and gets to lie in it while the rest of us pick up the fucking pieces.” He took a quick breath. “Now I’m not going to spend this entire night sitting here in silence while you shoot daggers at Louna, because she has nothing to do with David’s decision tonight. You actually have her to thank for keeping both David and I from fucking terminating after that catastrophe of a fifth album. You want to throw down with someone tonight? You take it up with me or go check that shit at the door.”
Pierre’s eyes were narrow and dark as he stared at the guitarist, not satisfied with what he’d said. However, he respected Jeff for finally laying out everything bare between them. It was clear the band had some major things to work through, but it would be hard with a member absent, and they certainly weren’t meant to do it over the dinner. David’s absence had only proven that things seemed to be much worse than what was shown on the surface.
Just as Pierre drew a breath to speak, a voice from the stage cut him short, announcing the presentation of the first charitable contributions that evening.
Internally, Louna breathed a sigh of relief, not wanting to hear what the singer had to say to Jeff’s pointed remarks. She was grateful the guitarist had given her so much credit with holding them together during the last two years, because it hadn’t been easy to always talk him and David down when things got rough. It had also made her happy to have a job and family and friends that seemed to be relatively drama-free - they offered her the sanctuary she needed when the band turmoil got to be too much to deal with. She knew her family had helped David too, and she was endlessly grateful for that.
From the podium, someone from the Children’s Hospital began to speak, profusely thanking all the organizations that had donated for their benefit that evening. Louna ate a few bites of the salad, but her stomach protested the food. The naked vegetables looked grossly unappetizing anyway - the thickly dressed Caesar salad with shrimp on Jeff’s plate almost looked more satisfying, but she would never admit it. Had David been there, they would’ve joked about it together and probably devoured the plain lettuce and carrots, David wriggling his nose in a rabbit impression before pouring more wine and pointing out that vegans were terrible drinkers because they didn’t have carbs to soak up the alcohol. She laid her fork on the plate and took a sip of her wine, which Jeff had refilled for her.
Where was David? Chuck was right about one thing tonight: none of this was making any sense.
The band was scheduled for the third presentation during dinner, when most everyone had finished their entrees and were getting a bit restless, the guest chatter a little louder than it had been earlier in the evening. The presentation went smoothly, since it had been decided earlier that only Jeff and Chuck would speak, and Pierre of course would do the actual cheque presentation. As the band members descended the stage and made their way back to the table, Louna finished her wine and excused herself to the bathroom.
Halfway there, she realized someone had followed her, but her anxiety lessened when she saw it was Sebastien’s wife, Laurence. Her eyes were sympathetic as they finally entered the refuge of the small ladies’ room.
“Are you okay?” she asked, her voice almost cautious.
Louna nearly laughed, shaking her head. “Really?” Her voice was heavy with disbelief.
Laurence rolled her eyes at herself then. “Fuck, I know… come here.” She stretched her arms out to her friend and they shared a long hug. “I’m so sorry you have to deal with this tonight…” They pulled away a moment later, Laurence not dropping Louna’s hand as they stood together. “You honestly have no idea where he is?”
She sighed tiredly as she shook her head. “No fucking clue,” she said, then looked to the light fixture above the large mirror. “We were texting this afternoon about what tie he should wear tonight… and now he’s…” she trailed off, meeting Laurence’s eyes and unable to bring herself to finish the sentence because she didn’t know what David was. Was he gone? Or was he just at home sick? Had he simply run off again on some motorcycle trip and would turn up in three days with no excuses and offers of flowers and her favorite wine? That might always work with her, but she knew the band might not be as forgiving as she was.
Laurence’s eyes softened, but worry etched her forehead. “Do you think he’s…” She couldn’t complete the phrase - unsure what she was actually trying to ask. Her intuition was vibrating in a way that scared her, and she knew that meant Louna’s was too. They were closer friends than they let the California faction realize, and usually they shared the same instincts. Tonight she could see something in Louna’s gaze - something that neither of them would want to acknowledge without real proof.
Louna squeezed her hand tightly, eyes growing intense as she shook her head. “I don’t know,” she replied, voice strained. She struggled to push back the thoughts that kept threatening to break through. She couldn’t let herself think about it just yet. She had to get through the rest of the evening, and then maybe she could listen to her intuition. Right now she had to hold it together, then she and Jeff could go find David and get the truth. She was still shaking her head as she closed her eyes, forcing the thoughts aside and trying to stay in reality. There were no friendly scenarios for her to think about tonight. She took a deep breath and steadied herself as Laurence gently touched her arm.
“It’ll be okay,” she offered, knowing the vague placation was just that, but at least it made Louna open her eyes and offer a faint smile.
“Nice try,” she replied.
Laurence returned her smile and gave her hand another squeeze. “You know I’m always good for that,” she replied.
Louna nodded. “Thank you.”
She took her in another hug. “You’re welcome.” Her smile was warmer when they broke apart. “Now let’s hurry this up before the faction starts rumors of us having some lesbian affair together.”
Louna laughed genuinely then, grateful for Laurence’s twisted humor. “No shit.”
They finished up in the bathroom a couple minutes later and walked back to the table, Louna feeling slightly more settled after the talk with Laurence for reasons she couldn’t quite articulate.
Jeff’s gaze was relieved when she sat back next to him. “You okay?” he asked quietly.
She nodded, reaching for her refilled wineglass. “Just want to get out of here,” she replied before taking a sip.
Jeff nodded in agreement. “We won’t stick around after dessert,” he said. “You valet?”
She nodded, realizing it hadn’t been the best decision because it would impede their quick exit. “Oversight,” she told him.
He cracked a smile. “No, convenience,” he assured her. “I valeted too. We’ll just get our cars and go to David’s,” he said simply. “You still have your key, right?”
Their eyes met and panic flashed through her stomach. Had the house key still been on her keychain? She tried to visualize the bundle as she’d handed it to the valet, but it seemed impossible. All she could see was the fob to her VW. Would David have taken his key back for some reason? Why was she even thinking about that? For a brief moment the terrible thought in the back of her head reared up, but she slammed it back down, certain that the long silver key had been next to her house key when she’d locked the deadbolt earlier. “Yeah,” she finally said, “I still have it.” She paused, meeting his eyes. “You think he took off somewhere?”
Jeff shrugged. “I don’t know,” he replied. “Call it a gut feeling.”
Her mind screamed at her then and she met Laurence’s eyes across the table. It seemed improbable that all three of them would come to the same conclusion, and her intuition told her it wasn’t just a weird coincidence.
Laurence raised an eyebrow curiously, and Louna looked away, taking a large drink of wine before returning the glass to the table and picking up her water instead. If she wanted a clear head later she couldn’t have any more to drink.
The last half hour of the night seemed to drag on forever and even though the vegan dessert of coconut sorbet and fresh berries was by far the best offering of the evening, she could hardly enjoy it. Her anxiety was racing through her at hyperspeed when they finally got up to leave. She exchanged cursory goodbyes with Chuck, Pierre, and their wives before hurriedly hugging Laurence and reassuring her that she’d let her know what was going on. The valet was surprisingly quick and twenty minutes later she pulled up in David’s driveway.
Her heart sank to her stomach as she realized the entire house was dark - the porch lights included. All she could tell herself in that moment was that he’d gone on a trip - one of his impulsive getaways for a few days to whatever nameless lake hours away so he could think. He’d done this before: it was no big deal.
But her intuition knew better; something about tonight was different.
She’d felt it the other night when she’d come over and had talked herself out of the feeling. Now she knew she hadn’t been overreacting. Jeff pulled up behind her then, killing his engine and climbing out of his car. He came to her door and held it open as she slowly got out, her fingers clasped tightly around the key in her hand.
Their gazes met in the dark, but neither said a word. Somehow, they didn’t have to. They walked together up the dark porch steps and Louna unlocked the door, her hand reaching automatically to flip on the hall light.
Her gaze instantly went to the wall beside the stairs, where David had proudly hung his first gold record plaque, but all that met her eyes was an empty space, and in that moment, she knew he was gone.
Writer: Ally (wasted_rawkstar)
Fandom: Simple Plan
Rating: R
Summary: After a disastrous fifth album release, the future of Simple Plan is uncertain. With a growing rift between the members, and different passions pulling them in different directions, no one's sure how they'll reconcile the band. So one member takes things into his own hands and makes the only decision he can, putting his relationship and friendships in jeopardy. But will it pay off in the end? It's the gamble he's willing to take.
The slam of a car door made David look up and out his front living room window. He could just see the back of his girlfriend’s car, then seconds later heard her voice through the cracked window, calling to Yuki, her dog, which answered the question of why she wasn’t on her motorcycle. David shoved the record crates hastily back toward the record console and stood up from the floor, closing the door of the entry closet to hide the stack of boxes he’d piled there. Paws thumped up his porch steps and a moment later there was a soft knock on the door before Louna let herself inside. David smiled, discarding the album he’d picked up off the floor, and Yuki raced at him, making Louna laugh as she closed the door.
“I wasn’t sure you’d be home,” she told him, stepping over and sharing a light kiss. “But since you’re on the way from the park…”
He smiled, nodding as his hands dropped to her waist and he gently kneaded his fingers into her hips. “Pretty safe assumption,” he replied, then smirked. “And no, I haven’t even thought about dinner yet.”
Louna laughed and shook her head. “That wasn’t even in my head,” she said. “But now I’ll have to take pity and see what your fridge has to work with.”
He made a face as he dropped his hands, letting her walk back toward his kitchen and past the stairs. “Not a whole lot, unfortunately,” he replied. “But you can probably work some magic.” He leaned in the doorway of the kitchen, reaching down to scratch Yuki’s head as they watched Louna move effortlessly through the room, opening cabinets and drawers and seamlessly throwing together a meal that David wouldn’t have believed was possible, had he not seen it happen so many times before. The last three years had provided him with ample time to see what his girlfriend was capable of in the kitchen, but it never ceased to surprise him.
Three years ago they’d met through mutual friends and it had been a slow start to their relationship. They’d both spent the months leading up to their first meeting regrouping from failed relationships and neither was sure about trying another so soon. The advantage of David’s career and constant travels had been almost a blessing for them, as they were forced to spend time apart. He was a musician in an internationally successful band and she worked full time at her mother’s design and marketing firm. Somehow it always amused them that their careers seemed to be swapped for their personalities. Louna was carefree and spontaneous and would push the envelope for everything, and while David had all those traits, he also craved structure and organization. Never had that been more evident that on a weekend trip they’d taken, and he’d shown her a planned agenda on his phone. He’d said it was just a rough guide for their trip, but she knew better. She read it dutifully, then laughed and threw caution to the wind and made him go skinny dipping in a lake. Things had never been the same since.
“So, were you actually going to put on music or were you just reorganizing your collection again?”
Louna’s voice cut through his thoughts and he looked up, a little surprised that she’d noticed the album crates in the living room. Her gaze was expectant as she glanced up from the cauliflower she was cutting, her short hair spilling down across her forehead. David blinked slowly; that same image of her atop him in bed flashed through his mind and suddenly he was much happier she’d come over that evening. He shrugged. “Was just thinking about it… going through the albums again to swap some stuff out of storage.”
She nodded, looking back to the cutting board. “Now that the gloomy winter blues are almost over? Time for the spring start over?”
He half smiled and pushed up from the doorframe, suddenly inspired with what he wanted to listen to. “Yeah, something like that,” he replied. They met eyes for a moment and shared a smile before he went back to his living room, rifling through the crates before he found the album that had popped into his head. Somehow he knew the blues vibe of the record would be good for the evening - he just hoped Louna wouldn’t read too much into it.
The guitar rang through the speakers and David listened for a minute before turning back and sauntering to the kitchen. He smiled as he heard Louna humming softly along with the music. Yuki had stretched out on the rug in front of the back door, his head on his paws, but his eyes still trained on Louna. David took in the scene, a content feeling in his chest, and he wondered how he’d be able to leave this all behind. He swallowed hard - he’d already made up his mind.
“How’d your meeting go today?”
Louna’s voice pulled him from the thoughts and he met her eyes with a shrug, then shook his head. “It was fine.”
Immediately she stopped chopping the zucchini and looked at him, doubt in her eyes. “That doesn’t sound like it was fine,” she replied.
David held back a sigh, feeling torn that Louna knew him so well. Three years together had taught her the intricacies of her boyfriend’s moods and expressions, and it was harder and harder to keep anything from her - especially about the band and his career. And the worst part about that was how much those had been weighing on him lately. It was impossible for him to simply put his career aside when he was home anymore, no matter how hard he tried, and he knew Louna could see that, even if she didn’t say anything. He shook his head again as he stepped out of the doorway and walked to the pantry, grabbing a bottle of wine. “You know how it is right now,” he replied, digging out his corkscrew from the utensil drawer and easily opening the bottle. “We’re just in total limbo with the label since the album flopped… they’re talking about a possible overseas tour, but not offering us any cash to do it with.”
Louna handed him two stemless wineglasses from the drainboard - the same two they always used. He poured generous amounts in each before recorking the bottle.
“So what? We’re supposed to finance our tour with our own savings and hope we make enough to pay ourselves back?”
Louna frowned and they both took sips of the red wine before David spoke again.
“I’m to the point that I’m just done with all this,” he told her, his voice lowering.
It wasn’t a new confession - he’d told her as much before, but this time she could hear something different in his voice. There was a certainty or resolve that hadn’t been there when he’d mentioned feeling finished in the past. “Have you talked with the guys about it?” she asked. “You and Seb and Jeff must’ve talked after the meeting…”
He took another drink, eyes drifting to look outside as he shrugged again. “Yeah, we all kind of talked about it, but no one’s willing to commit to anything… they just want to get through the benefit on Saturday and then revisit everything.” He rolled his eyes. “Pierre and Chuck both seem to think that all of us being together at that will somehow spark the clarity of what we’re meant to be doing.”
Louna shared David’s doubt. “Because the foundation handing out a check to whatever organization that night will offer insight about going on tour?”
David met her gaze and knew she felt the same way about it. “Exactly,” he replied.
She shook her head, taking one more sip of wine before picking the knife back up and resuming the zucchini prep. “I think you guys just need to talk this all out… I mean, have you really even had a true band meeting since all the shit with the label hit? Had a regroup session to figure out what happened with the album?”
He leaned forward on the counter and shook his head. “No, because Pierre and Chuck know that it was their fault… they overworked everything, didn’t listen to hardly anything that Jeff or I had to say, and then ended up rewriting half of what we’d already approved for the album.” He looked up at her. “You remember what happened the day I got the final cut of it.”
Louna made a face, recalling none-too-fondly the day that David had received the mastered files. It had been an agonizing hour of listening to songs she barely recognized from their original incarnations, some songs that she couldn’t remember hearing, and one song that David swore he’d never even heard before. In the end he’d simply walked away from the computer, grabbed his moto helmet, and barged out the front door. Louna sat in stunned silence, cringing as the motorcycle ripped down the street, and she hoped that David wouldn’t do anything reckless on the ride. Hours later he’d made it back in one piece, but his mood had barely lifted, and his phone, which he’d left in his office, had blown up with messages from Jeff and Sebastien. The mastered version of the album had taken them all by surprise. His reply to both bandmates had been short and pointed: “Guess if you don’t fucking live in California you don’t get a fucking vote. Glad we finally know our place in the band right?” From that point on it had been all they could do to ‘play nice’ with the “California Faction” as they had dubbed it.
“I still can’t believe they did that to you,” Louna replied.
David half shrugged. “I think it was a long time coming… but they could’ve done it some other way.”
“Obviously,” she scoffed in reply.
He smiled slightly and took a long drink of his wine.
The sun had dipped behind the horizon and the streaked clouds were a hazy orange color. The melody of the bluesy guitar track floated through the kitchen and Louna finished chopping the zucchini, layering it into the baking dish then leaning over to kiss David’s temple. “Fuck ‘em.”
He laughed, a smile finally pulling at his lips as he pushed up from the counter with a nod. “Fuck ‘em.”
They shared a long kiss, David wrapping his hands over her waist and circling his fingers over her lower back. She hummed happily before pulling away, gently nuzzling his nose as his hands dropped. “You want dinner or do you want dessert?” she asked suggestively.
David smirked. “I always want dessert,” he murmured, reaching down to pinch her ass.
She giggled and swatted his hand away. “All in good time,” she said.
David flashed her a grin and she rolled her eyes, knowing exactly how their night would end up, and grateful that she’d learned to always plan to stay the night with him. She hoped the day they’d move in together wasn’t much further off, because it was getting ridiculous to only stay one or two nights a week at the house she was renting, but David would get to that in his own time and in his own way. She smiled; the way he was acting lately it seemed the day was coming sooner than she thought it might, and she couldn’t wait.
# # #
David made his way through the dim bar toward the back corner, giving Jeff a nod as their eyes finally met. A few days had passed since the night Louna had come over, and David was meeting his friend for their weekly drinks together. It had been hard to break his momentum on his house project, but he knew that if he didn’t show up for a beer with Jeff, the guitarist would definitely suspect something, and the last thing David wanted was to tip off anyone to what he was doing. He shook the thoughts off as he approached Jeff’s table - really everyone should have seen this coming, he thought, but he knew they’d all be blindsided. It had to be that way though. He couldn’t keep going on like this; his façade was only getting thinner and it was now or never to get on with his life. He just hoped he could pick up the pieces when it was all over.
“Hey!” Jeff’s voice was cheerful as he greeted David.
He smiled, settling across the table from his friend. “How’s it going?” he asked, shrugging out of his jacket. “Better than the last meeting?”
Jeff cracked a smile. “Moderately. You?”
He pretended to ponder for a moment. “Guess you could say better… but we are seeing the California Faction in two days.”
Jeff groaned. “Don’t remind me… I think I’d be happier about this banquet if we actually weren’t all going to be there.”
David smirked, nodding. “Seriously… maybe we should just skip it. Give them back the spotlight they seem to want.”
The guitarist looked doubtful. “But isn’t that just playing into their hands? Showing them we’re as disinterested as ever?”
He shrugged. “Maybe… but it’s just a fucking cheque,” he said. “We don’t all need to be there.”
The waiter came over to their table then, setting down glasses of water and taking their usual drink orders: an IPA for Jeff and a vodka soda with lemon for David.
As the guy walked away, Jeff shook his head in amusement. “We’re so fucking predictable,” he said with a laugh. “We’re gonna be fifty and still coming here, doing this.”
David raised an eyebrow skeptically. “If you think that’s the case then we definitely need to change things up. How about I get to pick the place next week?”
Jeff smiled. “Fair enough… where and when?”
David matched his smile. “I’ll keep it a surprise… just watch for a text.”
The guitarist laughed and reached for his water. “I’ll hold you to it.” He took a sip then relaxed back in his chair, eyes drifting over the familiar surroundings.
David followed his gaze, wondering what his friend was thinking. How many times had they met here and bemoaned the state of their lives, or celebrated the highs it had brought? So many memories were in these walls, but it was time for a change. It had been time for one, but no one was brave enough for it.
Fuck. David hoped he was making the right decision.
“Is Lou coming Saturday?” Jeff asked.
He blinked hard, forcing himself back into the present, and nodded. “Yeah,” he replied after a second. “She’ll be there. Figured since all the couples,” he stressed the word in a not so friendly way, “would be there it was only fair to include her.” He paused, noting the hint of surprise in Jeff’s gaze. “Mimi’s coming, right?”
He shook his head. “Chuck told me the list was closed when I asked.”
“That fuckin’ asshole… you should just not show up.”
“Believe me, if I didn’t think shit would seriously hit the fan, I might consider that… but with the way things are right now? I’m playing nice until things are settled again.”
The waiter returned with their drinks and David took a large gulp of his before replying to Jeff’s statement. “But do you honestly think that’s the right choice? Do you really want to continue with this shit show or is it time to finally hang it up and try something else? We got fucked with the last album, dude… you know it, I know it, Seb knows it… our girlfriends know it… Do we really want to commit back to any of that? Is any of that worth our time anymore? Do you honestly think that anything is going to change after what’s happened?” He stared intently across the table to his friend, not entirely sure he wanted to hear the guitarist’s reply, but he’d asked the questions for a good reason. He wanted to make sure he wasn’t alone in how he felt, and if Jeff echoed his sentiments then it would make him feel better about what he’d decided.
A familiar 80s song filled in the silence between them as David waited for Jeff to answer. The pause stretched on too long and he tightened his grip on the cold glass, knowing then that his friend probably didn’t feel the same.
“David,” he finally started slowly, “what are you really asking?” His voice was quiet and held an edge of curiosity.
He sank back into his chair, dropping his hands to his lap and shrugging exaggeratedly. “Dude, I don’t know… I’m just so fucking frustrated with all this. I don’t want to pander to Pierre and Chuck anymore, but that’s all they expect from us now. And I’m fucking sick of it. We used to have a say in the band, then they went off to Cali and basically said ‘fuck you, this is what we’re doing now’ and since when did we just roll over and take it? Why did we stop fighting back? We fuckin’ fought for album four and that was totally worth it. So why didn’t we just fucking walk away from album five?”
Jeff met David’s eyes and shook his head slowly. “I don’t know.” He took a long drink of his beer and let the mood settle between them, David taking a sip of his cocktail then letting out a heavy sigh.
“I’m sorry man, I just… them coming to town right now… after that meeting?”
“No, I get it. And actually I do feel kinda the same way. The last thing we need to do is try to go on tour right now.” He spun his glass around on the cardboard coaster, fingers making trails through the condensation. “Like, we should regroup if we can and just put this album behind us… take a fresh start if that’s what we all want, right?”
He nodded heavily. “Exactly.” He took a breath before his next statement, wondering if it was going to reveal too much to Jeff, but for as close as they were it was only fair to be honest. “And no one should hold it against us if the band isn’t what we want to move forward with.”
Jeff’s eyebrows rose instantly. “Is that really what you’re thinking? You don’t want to do the band anymore?”
He shrugged noncommittally. “I keep tossing it around,” he said. “Keep feeling like I’ll just have some fucking divine inspiration or something that tells me what I should do at the right moment.” He smiled wryly. “Or you or Lou will tell me to get my head out of my ass.”
Jeff laughed, nodding and raising his glass. “That’ll probably happen first,” he said.
David laughed and toasted his glass with Jeff’s. “Then here’s to making that happen,” he replied. They both drank then, and left the lull in the conversation, neither sure how to continue after the admission.
Jeff didn’t want to outright ask David then if he had truly made up his mind about the band, but somehow it felt like he had. However, things weren’t quite adding up in his mind. Had he missed some subtext in their earlier conversation? Was David just bemoaning the California faction like he always did and he’d be over all this by the time they parted ways? He’d never been able to get a truly accurate read on the bassist and his rapidly fluctuating moods, so he wasn’t going to trust his gut on this one either. He knew everything in David’s head would be past in a few days, so there was no use dwelling on it. And more often times than not lately it seemed that Louna was able to put any fires out before they had a chance to spread, for that Jeff was grateful. She had brought a certain balance to David’s life that hadn’t always been there, and in the last couple years her presence had helped David more than he probably realized.
He wondered then, what she might’ve said to David about the current band turmoil. Had he shared it with her? If she was coming to the banquet on Saturday she had to at least be aware of some of what was going on. But then, Jeff knew how secretive David could be too. He could always put on a good front when the time called for it; the last year would’ve been impossible without it. Jeff knew, because he’d gotten a little too good at using his own façade. Only when the two of them were together were the masks dropped entirely and the candid conversation could start. The last twelve months had been an artfully curated mess, which it seemed was finally beginning to show the cracks. There was no telling what would happen when the false front finally fell, because if it was divine inspiration that David was truly looking for, then that moment was going to be all he would need, and Jeff dreaded what would come next.
# # #
Music floated into the bathroom from the living room speakers and Louna hummed along as she expertly applied her mascara. She finished the last few swipes on her eyelashes and stepped back to survey her look. The smoky eyes popped beneath her sweeping blonde bangs and were a perfect complement to her dark burgundy shirt. She smiled, tugging at her faux-leather pants once more before putting on her black heels. These special events were secretly her favorite because she could wear the high heels and tower over David. She knew he hated it, but he always overcompensated for it later in bed, and that was never a bad thing. She smiled to herself as she easily applied her lipstick, also burgundy to match her shirt, and hoped that David wouldn’t disappoint tonight.
She checked her phone then, a little startled to realize it was already after six. David had said he’d pick her up by six o’clock and usually for the band functions he’d been exceptionally punctual - especially the last year, and definitely when Pierre and Chuck were involved. She frowned, looking at the time again and leaving the bathroom, going to check her window. She had a clear view of the driveway, but there was no black Volvo there.
She hesitated sending a text, because if he was on the way then he probably wouldn’t answer. She went back to her bedroom, getting her clutch and packing her few essentials into it as she waited for her phone to chime.
Five minutes later he still hadn’t shown up and the knot forming in her stomach tightened. This was unlike David. He would always tell her if he was running late or if something had come up. She wrung her hands around her phone, trying not to chew her lip and get lipstick all over her teeth.
Something felt off to her. She hadn’t said anything to him earlier that week, knowing he was still reeling from the meeting and undoubtedly nervous about this banquet with everyone present. It would be the first time in nearly two months that the band would be together - the California faction putting in the rare Montreal appearance since the disaster of the fifth album.
That was why she had insisted she come to the banquet with David; she would help keep him in check and from going off the rails on his bandmates. She just hoped that really wouldn’t be necessary.
She checked her phone again; five more minutes. She swiped it open and pulled up her favorites list, hitting David’s name as she paced in front of the window. Instantly the phone connected, but not with what she expected.
David’s voice was hollow and automatic on the voicemail greeting. “This is David. Leave a message.”
She hung up without leaving a message - he never listened to his voicemails anyway. Her stomach knotted tighter. The only times she ever got his voicemail automatically were when he was out of service on some random motorcycle trip, and there was no way he’d left town tonight. She shook her head at the flash of thought that broke through her anxiety.
No. He wouldn’t.
She opened their messages and typed quickly. “Almost here I hope!” She hit send but a second later the red exclamation mark appeared beside it. She tried to send the text again, but to no avail. Was his phone broken? Or just out of service? She tried to send the message once more, but the angry red circle remained next to it. Worry started to bubble in her throat and she stared at the message. What was happening? Where was he? She scrolled up in her messages, but stopped short, studying their last exchange about the tie he was supposed to wear tonight. She’d suggested the burgundy one to match her shirt, of course. His reply had seemed overly sweet at the time, but she hadn’t given it much thought.
“Merci! J’adore j’adore j’adore! Et un mille bissou. Toujours.”
Now her breath caught. Was she reading too much into this? She had to be. She was always overreacting, but the slow flames of her intuition were burning in her stomach. Something wasn’t right.
She started in surprise as her phone chimed, but the messages from David remained unchanged. She tapped back to the list and saw a new text from Jeff.
“You on your way? Can’t get texts to D. He drop his phone again? LOL.”
Her stomach dropped, seeing that she wasn’t the only one who couldn’t reach David. She texted back quickly. “Still waiting on him. Don’t know what’s up with his phone. Straight to voicemail too.”
Jeff’s reply was immediate. “Weird. Just come without him. He’ll figure it out and you can be my date while we wait.”
She frowned. “You don’t think he’ll be mad?”
“He’ll get over it. See you soon!”
She sighed, reading over Jeff’s texts. He was right - David would get over it. She grabbed her keys, barely remembering to turn her stereo off before she hurried out the door.
# # #
Exhaustion washed over David as he sat on his stairs, looking at the last couple boxes he had to take out to his car. The last two days had been an absolute blur, and there were two more places he needed to go before everything would be done and maybe he could breathe again. The air around him had been stifling for the last two years, except for those euphoric moments with Louna beside him, when it was just the two of them on a trip somewhere, or just in his kitchen during those forgotten seconds when the world slipped away while he drifted in her gaze. He closed his eyes, letting his head drop and cradling it in his hands. Was he making the right choice? How could he back out now? He needed to do this. His life depended on it. There was no way he could continue on the old path; he had to forge a new one, and this was the only way. Would Louna understand? He could only hope that she might. She deserved the new start as much as he did. He rubbed his eyes and slicked his hair back, shaking his head to clear the thoughts. He had no choice but to follow through with his plan, wherever that would lead him.
He checked his watch - seven o’clock. It was time to go.
He pushed up from the stairs and carefully gathered the boxes he’d stacked next to the front door; he swallowed hard, smelling the familiar perfume waft from the open cardboard box. He took a deep breath - this was the sacrifice he’d make. He had to.
He took the boxes to his car and placed them in the open passenger seat before going back to his front door. He took a cursory glance around the entryway, but he knew there was nothing left to do. He took his keys from his pocket and stepped back out the door, an unwanted lump surging in his throat as he pulled it shut and turned the deadbolt over.
This was it.
This was the beginning of his new start, but it definitely wasn’t the end of anything. Or was it? He had no idea if he’d ever know the answer to that question.
He stared at his front door, the evening growing dark around him as he tried to swallow back all the doubts and fears he’d thought he’d already come to terms with. If it was this hard now, the next two places would be worse.
He tore his eyes away and hurried to the car, throwing himself behind the wheel and starting the engine. The clock on the dash now read ten past seven. He slid the SUV into gear and took another glance at his front door, telling himself that he had no choice but to do this. It was the only way.
He closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath.
In the end they’d understand.
He backed out of the driveway and drove away. The next stop was Louna’s.
# # #
It was ten minutes to seven o’clock when Louna arrived at the hotel, dropping her car at the valet and rushing inside to the banquet hall. Jeff was waiting for her at the door, waving off the overbearing usher and taking her arm to lead her through the maze of tables.
She gripped his arm tightly, anxiety washing over her nerves as they walked. “He’s not here yet?” Even though she knew the answer to the question, she still had to ask.
Jeff shook his head once. “You know how he is,” he replied in a low voice. “He’ll probably show up in an hour, fresh off his motorcycle with some excuse.”
“He wouldn’t do that tonight,” she countered. “He knows how important this is… it has to be something else.” Her voice choked slightly and the thoughts she’d been trying to silence seemed to get louder. No. Not now. He wouldn’t have done that now.
Jeff paused, sensing Louna’s sudden turmoil. “We’ll figure it out, okay?” He tried to reassure her. “Just have to get through this first.” He wanted to offer a consoling smile and a funny remark that maybe David was just backstage working on his proposal, but he could tell it wasn’t the time for it. Instead he gave her arm a squeeze and they finished their walk through the hall.
The din of chatter around them had grown quieter as the guests were all seated at their tables and just as Jeff and Louna reached their table, the lights dimmed and bright spots lit the dais. She sat down between two empty seats without a word, Jeff sliding in beside her and leaving a noticeably empty space where David was meant to be. She turned in her chair to look at the podium and ignore the blatant stares from David’s bandmates and their spouses.
This was not how this night was supposed to go.
She was meant to be there supporting her boyfriend, but now she sought strange reassurance from his best friend. She glanced at Jeff and received a hint of a nod as their eyes met. They could get through this. Whatever was going on, they could figure it out.
The presentation to start the banquet began with a keynote speech from a company director, then a slideshow, and finally dinner was served. The twenty minutes of distraction had been just enough for Louna to settle her nerves and drink one glass of wine to prep for facing the inevitable questions, for which she had no answers.
Fuck, this night was going to go on forever.
The sudden rush of wait staff coming through the hall with trays was enough cover that she didn’t feel entirely rude and out of line to check her phone. Of course there was nothing from David, and she made another failed attempt to send him a message.
When she looked up from the screen, Jeff met her eyes expectantly, but she shook her head. He sighed in resignation, realizing how the rest of the night would play out. There would be no lack of accusatory looks and judgments from the California faction, and it would be entirely unjust to subject Louna to that, because she had nothing to do with David’s absence. However, they certainly wouldn’t see it that way. They would spin his non-appearance how they pleased and make no exceptions to who they hurt in the process. It was a terrible MO that Jeff didn’t think he’d ever get used to. Yet, maybe David being gone tonight would hasten the growing rift and they wouldn’t have to put up with that MO for much longer. He could only hope.
Louna shifted back in her chair, finally facing the table and securing her phone in the clutch on her lap. She took a long drink of water as the waitress placed salads on the table. Embarrassment flushed her cheeks as the woman asked who the vegan plates were for, and she tightened her grip on the glass, staring blankly at the table. How could David have done this, she wondered. Everything had been planned and now he just hadn’t shown up? Left everyone worried and wondering the worst? The thoughts were growing even louder in her head, but she couldn’t let them in yet.
Jeff gestured to Louna’s plate after a moment, then offered a quiet apology that something had come up and the other person wouldn’t be joining them. The waitress simply nodded and took the other salad back when she left. An awkward silence rang around the table then, Louna still gripping her water glass and staring at the wilted salad, feeling terribly out of place without David there.
Right then, it was all she could do not to just get out of her seat, bolt to the door, and go straight to David’s to find out what the hell was going on - if he’d even have any answers for her.
“Louna, where is David?”
She looked up, blinking rapidly as the words pulled her from her thoughts. She met Chuck’s gaze, relieved to see no anger on his face, just expectancy. “I don’t know,” she replied simply, hating that the truth sounded so weak.
Chuck’s eyebrows drew together in confusion. “You don’t know?”
His voice was gentle, free of the animosity she expected. Maybe he didn’t want to make a scene just yet; he’d wait until after the dinner for that move.
“Were you going to meet him here?” he asked.
She shook her head, wondering then if she should tell the truth, or try to create a cover story for her boyfriend. She’d already confessed to not knowing where he was, but she could back-peddle and say something about him not feeling well earlier. Would they buy it? Maybe the truth was easier in this case.
“He was supposed to pick me up at six…” She glanced mistakenly to Pierre, seeing clear anger in the singer’s eyes that made her words waiver. “He never showed.” She dropped her gaze back to the table, grateful to feel Jeff’s hand on her shoulder, to know that she wasn’t facing the faction alone. Jeff would back her up; he and David were always on the same side and there was no reason the guitarist would suddenly switch allegiances just because David wasn’t there.
“You tried to call and text him, right?” Chuck’s question was earnest, his voice still even.
“We both did,” Jeff replied then. “It’s straight to voicemail and the texts aren’t going through at all.”
The drummer frowned, oblivious to the deepening scowl on Pierre’s face. “That doesn’t make sense… you don’t think something happened, do you?”
Jeff shook his head. “Dude, we don’t know. We’re here and can’t get a hold of him… that’s all. Don’t make it something it’s not.”
“I’m not,” Chuck replied, “I’m just-”
“Clearly David had a reason not to be here,” Pierre interrupted them, his voice edged with hostility. “He just didn’t think that the rest of us had a right to know what that was.”
Louna felt Jeff’s hand go still on her shoulder and in her head she screamed at Pierre all the reasons David might’ve had for not coming tonight; the singer’s betrayal of the band being the clearest to everyone but himself of course.
“Pierre, I am not going to do this with you right now,” Jeff replied, his voice level and adamant. “There is probably a simple explanation for why David isn’t here and I’m not going to let you spin this into some subversive move against you that’s meant to fragment this band even further. You’re the one who made that bed and gets to lie in it while the rest of us pick up the fucking pieces.” He took a quick breath. “Now I’m not going to spend this entire night sitting here in silence while you shoot daggers at Louna, because she has nothing to do with David’s decision tonight. You actually have her to thank for keeping both David and I from fucking terminating after that catastrophe of a fifth album. You want to throw down with someone tonight? You take it up with me or go check that shit at the door.”
Pierre’s eyes were narrow and dark as he stared at the guitarist, not satisfied with what he’d said. However, he respected Jeff for finally laying out everything bare between them. It was clear the band had some major things to work through, but it would be hard with a member absent, and they certainly weren’t meant to do it over the dinner. David’s absence had only proven that things seemed to be much worse than what was shown on the surface.
Just as Pierre drew a breath to speak, a voice from the stage cut him short, announcing the presentation of the first charitable contributions that evening.
Internally, Louna breathed a sigh of relief, not wanting to hear what the singer had to say to Jeff’s pointed remarks. She was grateful the guitarist had given her so much credit with holding them together during the last two years, because it hadn’t been easy to always talk him and David down when things got rough. It had also made her happy to have a job and family and friends that seemed to be relatively drama-free - they offered her the sanctuary she needed when the band turmoil got to be too much to deal with. She knew her family had helped David too, and she was endlessly grateful for that.
From the podium, someone from the Children’s Hospital began to speak, profusely thanking all the organizations that had donated for their benefit that evening. Louna ate a few bites of the salad, but her stomach protested the food. The naked vegetables looked grossly unappetizing anyway - the thickly dressed Caesar salad with shrimp on Jeff’s plate almost looked more satisfying, but she would never admit it. Had David been there, they would’ve joked about it together and probably devoured the plain lettuce and carrots, David wriggling his nose in a rabbit impression before pouring more wine and pointing out that vegans were terrible drinkers because they didn’t have carbs to soak up the alcohol. She laid her fork on the plate and took a sip of her wine, which Jeff had refilled for her.
Where was David? Chuck was right about one thing tonight: none of this was making any sense.
The band was scheduled for the third presentation during dinner, when most everyone had finished their entrees and were getting a bit restless, the guest chatter a little louder than it had been earlier in the evening. The presentation went smoothly, since it had been decided earlier that only Jeff and Chuck would speak, and Pierre of course would do the actual cheque presentation. As the band members descended the stage and made their way back to the table, Louna finished her wine and excused herself to the bathroom.
Halfway there, she realized someone had followed her, but her anxiety lessened when she saw it was Sebastien’s wife, Laurence. Her eyes were sympathetic as they finally entered the refuge of the small ladies’ room.
“Are you okay?” she asked, her voice almost cautious.
Louna nearly laughed, shaking her head. “Really?” Her voice was heavy with disbelief.
Laurence rolled her eyes at herself then. “Fuck, I know… come here.” She stretched her arms out to her friend and they shared a long hug. “I’m so sorry you have to deal with this tonight…” They pulled away a moment later, Laurence not dropping Louna’s hand as they stood together. “You honestly have no idea where he is?”
She sighed tiredly as she shook her head. “No fucking clue,” she said, then looked to the light fixture above the large mirror. “We were texting this afternoon about what tie he should wear tonight… and now he’s…” she trailed off, meeting Laurence’s eyes and unable to bring herself to finish the sentence because she didn’t know what David was. Was he gone? Or was he just at home sick? Had he simply run off again on some motorcycle trip and would turn up in three days with no excuses and offers of flowers and her favorite wine? That might always work with her, but she knew the band might not be as forgiving as she was.
Laurence’s eyes softened, but worry etched her forehead. “Do you think he’s…” She couldn’t complete the phrase - unsure what she was actually trying to ask. Her intuition was vibrating in a way that scared her, and she knew that meant Louna’s was too. They were closer friends than they let the California faction realize, and usually they shared the same instincts. Tonight she could see something in Louna’s gaze - something that neither of them would want to acknowledge without real proof.
Louna squeezed her hand tightly, eyes growing intense as she shook her head. “I don’t know,” she replied, voice strained. She struggled to push back the thoughts that kept threatening to break through. She couldn’t let herself think about it just yet. She had to get through the rest of the evening, and then maybe she could listen to her intuition. Right now she had to hold it together, then she and Jeff could go find David and get the truth. She was still shaking her head as she closed her eyes, forcing the thoughts aside and trying to stay in reality. There were no friendly scenarios for her to think about tonight. She took a deep breath and steadied herself as Laurence gently touched her arm.
“It’ll be okay,” she offered, knowing the vague placation was just that, but at least it made Louna open her eyes and offer a faint smile.
“Nice try,” she replied.
Laurence returned her smile and gave her hand another squeeze. “You know I’m always good for that,” she replied.
Louna nodded. “Thank you.”
She took her in another hug. “You’re welcome.” Her smile was warmer when they broke apart. “Now let’s hurry this up before the faction starts rumors of us having some lesbian affair together.”
Louna laughed genuinely then, grateful for Laurence’s twisted humor. “No shit.”
They finished up in the bathroom a couple minutes later and walked back to the table, Louna feeling slightly more settled after the talk with Laurence for reasons she couldn’t quite articulate.
Jeff’s gaze was relieved when she sat back next to him. “You okay?” he asked quietly.
She nodded, reaching for her refilled wineglass. “Just want to get out of here,” she replied before taking a sip.
Jeff nodded in agreement. “We won’t stick around after dessert,” he said. “You valet?”
She nodded, realizing it hadn’t been the best decision because it would impede their quick exit. “Oversight,” she told him.
He cracked a smile. “No, convenience,” he assured her. “I valeted too. We’ll just get our cars and go to David’s,” he said simply. “You still have your key, right?”
Their eyes met and panic flashed through her stomach. Had the house key still been on her keychain? She tried to visualize the bundle as she’d handed it to the valet, but it seemed impossible. All she could see was the fob to her VW. Would David have taken his key back for some reason? Why was she even thinking about that? For a brief moment the terrible thought in the back of her head reared up, but she slammed it back down, certain that the long silver key had been next to her house key when she’d locked the deadbolt earlier. “Yeah,” she finally said, “I still have it.” She paused, meeting his eyes. “You think he took off somewhere?”
Jeff shrugged. “I don’t know,” he replied. “Call it a gut feeling.”
Her mind screamed at her then and she met Laurence’s eyes across the table. It seemed improbable that all three of them would come to the same conclusion, and her intuition told her it wasn’t just a weird coincidence.
Laurence raised an eyebrow curiously, and Louna looked away, taking a large drink of wine before returning the glass to the table and picking up her water instead. If she wanted a clear head later she couldn’t have any more to drink.
The last half hour of the night seemed to drag on forever and even though the vegan dessert of coconut sorbet and fresh berries was by far the best offering of the evening, she could hardly enjoy it. Her anxiety was racing through her at hyperspeed when they finally got up to leave. She exchanged cursory goodbyes with Chuck, Pierre, and their wives before hurriedly hugging Laurence and reassuring her that she’d let her know what was going on. The valet was surprisingly quick and twenty minutes later she pulled up in David’s driveway.
Her heart sank to her stomach as she realized the entire house was dark - the porch lights included. All she could tell herself in that moment was that he’d gone on a trip - one of his impulsive getaways for a few days to whatever nameless lake hours away so he could think. He’d done this before: it was no big deal.
But her intuition knew better; something about tonight was different.
She’d felt it the other night when she’d come over and had talked herself out of the feeling. Now she knew she hadn’t been overreacting. Jeff pulled up behind her then, killing his engine and climbing out of his car. He came to her door and held it open as she slowly got out, her fingers clasped tightly around the key in her hand.
Their gazes met in the dark, but neither said a word. Somehow, they didn’t have to. They walked together up the dark porch steps and Louna unlocked the door, her hand reaching automatically to flip on the hall light.
Her gaze instantly went to the wall beside the stairs, where David had proudly hung his first gold record plaque, but all that met her eyes was an empty space, and in that moment, she knew he was gone.