somewhere only we know
At this point my eyes hurt
from trying not to cry.
9 months
and im still tangled up in
the way we never talk
or how we laughed together
and exchanged I love you's
how we planned years in advance
and were so optimistic
I gave him my child hood
and grew up too quick in thoes three days he left me there to wait sit and wonder if he would still love me ,
he didnt.
he stoped calling,
stoped wanting
stoped loving
just stoped.
summer days are cold now,
and the rain takes away the ounce of warmth i had.
sometimes i wonder if it is the rain at all.
Im alone the whole time
a long lost lover
a long lost friend
a long lost
a long lost.
my parents have their own chemical imbalance to deal with
as do I
I refuse to have pill bottle eye glasses.
I also refuse to think, that this isnt the way it should be
that I dont deserve this.because i do
no matter what anyone else thinks.
the pints of tears that match the amounts of insecurites are there for a reason
i wander on a path of shattered past, picking up the peices that have
been so terribly ruptured.
I hold it close to my heart and try so hard to repare it
yet , the past has shaped me
with all its scratches
all its flaws, all its tiny broken off peices that used to not matter
then.
they matter now.
broken bones.
dropped hearts.
these shards. swept into the corner, hoping they would go away.
they matter.
they matter.
they matter because
this is who i am
a girl that is not there, a girl who has done everything to deserve everything she receives in life.
Im just that girl.
from trying not to cry.
9 months
and im still tangled up in
the way we never talk
or how we laughed together
and exchanged I love you's
how we planned years in advance
and were so optimistic
I gave him my child hood
and grew up too quick in thoes three days he left me there to wait sit and wonder if he would still love me ,
he didnt.
he stoped calling,
stoped wanting
stoped loving
just stoped.
summer days are cold now,
and the rain takes away the ounce of warmth i had.
sometimes i wonder if it is the rain at all.
Im alone the whole time
a long lost lover
a long lost friend
a long lost
a long lost.
my parents have their own chemical imbalance to deal with
as do I
I refuse to have pill bottle eye glasses.
I also refuse to think, that this isnt the way it should be
that I dont deserve this.because i do
no matter what anyone else thinks.
the pints of tears that match the amounts of insecurites are there for a reason
i wander on a path of shattered past, picking up the peices that have
been so terribly ruptured.
I hold it close to my heart and try so hard to repare it
yet , the past has shaped me
with all its scratches
all its flaws, all its tiny broken off peices that used to not matter
then.
they matter now.
broken bones.
dropped hearts.
these shards. swept into the corner, hoping they would go away.
they matter.
they matter.
they matter because
this is who i am
a girl that is not there, a girl who has done everything to deserve everything she receives in life.
Im just that girl.