ew im dying.
Well,lets see...
Im not happy and so happy all at the same time.
Ill start with what i hate,because we all know i could cry about my life for hours....
-Work is out of control,I worked till 1am last night and i have to work untill 4am thursday and 6am next friday. Im burnt out and so beat down im not sleeping well latley and im not really sure why. I wake up really early even when i really dont want to. Im getting really sick and i cant afford to get sick. Im working so many hours this week and i feel like i am going to die. I feel like these people want/need so much from me and i cant give them what they want. I love everyone at ON so much but i cant take it anymore. No one understands how bad it actually is. It was never like this,I use to LOVE my job. Now i HATE going there it sucks.... We have so many new people who dont fucking know shit. and it drives me insane. they all piss me fucking off. I have been slacking SO bad for about three months now,i cant get out of this mode,i have NO motivation what so ever....
-Im not making enough money to live my life. I hate it.
-I feel disgusting and unattractive all the time latley and thats not me at all. We all know i that i know im not UGLY but i feel gross these days. Actually getting up and doing my make up only makes me more unhappy. I would love to just lay in bed all fucking day and sleep and cry and sleep and cry. I dont know whats going on with my but i dont want to get up in the morning. Im really unhappy latley with my self and its making me take it out on everyone else. I work out every single day and it use make me feel so much better but it makes me feel worse because i feel like im not seeing anything happen. Im angry im annoyed and i dont care. grrr!
The only thing that is going right in my life right now is Chuck. I have never felt this safe/happy/loved/needed in a relationship ever. Im so happy when im with him (even when im having a "mood swing") He will do anything to try and make me feel better. I love having him i cant even put how i feel about this boy into words. When im not with him im thinking about him and when im with him i couldnt be any happier. I know its hard to put up with me but he does and its amazing... <33
So,I guess some crazy mother told someone elses mother that i blamed everything on her daughter. Its funny that you can take a woman out of a trashy city but you cant take the trashy city out of the woman. You guys are pure white trash at its finest. You know you are fucked up when you Stand up for ya slutty daughter who....well...okay ill stop there... :) I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE when people are jealous of me and my life. You have no idea how much joy that brings me and i LOVE when people talk about me...Seriously you arnt hurting me, you are making me feel GUH-RATE.
So to everyone who i like in this town...,i miss you all and hope schools going well,I know i suck at returning phone calls and IM's but i promise i will get around to everything once work chills out and i have some free time. Im out BYE!!
Im not happy and so happy all at the same time.
Ill start with what i hate,because we all know i could cry about my life for hours....
-Work is out of control,I worked till 1am last night and i have to work untill 4am thursday and 6am next friday. Im burnt out and so beat down im not sleeping well latley and im not really sure why. I wake up really early even when i really dont want to. Im getting really sick and i cant afford to get sick. Im working so many hours this week and i feel like i am going to die. I feel like these people want/need so much from me and i cant give them what they want. I love everyone at ON so much but i cant take it anymore. No one understands how bad it actually is. It was never like this,I use to LOVE my job. Now i HATE going there it sucks.... We have so many new people who dont fucking know shit. and it drives me insane. they all piss me fucking off. I have been slacking SO bad for about three months now,i cant get out of this mode,i have NO motivation what so ever....
-Im not making enough money to live my life. I hate it.
-I feel disgusting and unattractive all the time latley and thats not me at all. We all know i that i know im not UGLY but i feel gross these days. Actually getting up and doing my make up only makes me more unhappy. I would love to just lay in bed all fucking day and sleep and cry and sleep and cry. I dont know whats going on with my but i dont want to get up in the morning. Im really unhappy latley with my self and its making me take it out on everyone else. I work out every single day and it use make me feel so much better but it makes me feel worse because i feel like im not seeing anything happen. Im angry im annoyed and i dont care. grrr!
The only thing that is going right in my life right now is Chuck. I have never felt this safe/happy/loved/needed in a relationship ever. Im so happy when im with him (even when im having a "mood swing") He will do anything to try and make me feel better. I love having him i cant even put how i feel about this boy into words. When im not with him im thinking about him and when im with him i couldnt be any happier. I know its hard to put up with me but he does and its amazing... <33
So,I guess some crazy mother told someone elses mother that i blamed everything on her daughter. Its funny that you can take a woman out of a trashy city but you cant take the trashy city out of the woman. You guys are pure white trash at its finest. You know you are fucked up when you Stand up for ya slutty daughter who....well...okay ill stop there... :) I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE when people are jealous of me and my life. You have no idea how much joy that brings me and i LOVE when people talk about me...Seriously you arnt hurting me, you are making me feel GUH-RATE.
So to everyone who i like in this town...,i miss you all and hope schools going well,I know i suck at returning phone calls and IM's but i promise i will get around to everything once work chills out and i have some free time. Im out BYE!!