Well Bother
It's hard after hearing the news yesterday from my mother to not wonder if I've done something wrong during my life.
My aunt who was diagnosed last year with terminal lung cancer, has now advanced to what can only be called the final stage of the cancer. She now lives with an underskin pump that allows morphine to be directly delivered into her body at a rapid rate.
She resigned from work, is unable to sleep on her back and current spends most of the day having trouble breathing. I know soon she will pass away from this wretched disease and it has really got to me, I swing at the moment between rage, confusion and utter sadness to know that such a wonderful woman is going to be taken away from us all.
What has compounded it even more was the further news about other members of my family, as it transpires that my Uncle Ernie has developed issues with both his breathing and heart. Add to this that his wife is now displaying the early signs of Parkinsons disease and their adopted son/nephew has as-yet unexplained pain from his joints, it seems that my family is coming apart.
The recent news about my cousin Anne-Marie having breast cancer, something quite aggressive in the women of my mothers side of the family has us all worried too.
I'm trying to stay positive, regardless of how much this feels like it's dragging me down, but it's very hard considering how this has got to me.
I'm lucky to have you, my friends and love ones during this, I honestly don't know how I would cope if I did have you. Evening spent laughing with friends across the country, giggling and screaming as we end each other in amusing ways is taking the edge of it this whole thing.
This isn't really meant as a "pity me" post but more this - Thank you, thank you to everyone who has made me giggle, made me laugh, made me scream like a school girl and above all smile.
You guys without a doubt, rock.
Thank you - If you have the chance to tonight or tomorrow, tell your family you love them, life is too short.