Family
Last week saw the turn of twentieth anniversary of Maureen Morrow, my mother's sister and my aunts passing. At the age of 30 she was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer, given three years and offered the best available care of the time.
I have only very vivid memories of her, I remember that she would always have a new box of rusks waiting for my visit to her at home. She always smiled and put on the brave face that most of those who are struck down with cancer display, she had to in front of her three children, she fought every day with pain that had her literally tearing her hair out in clumps.
Her children were robbed of a mother who was loving and gave everything in her last days to leave lasting memories. I distinctly remember that in a very rare move by the local council of Dunstable, they helped fund a trip to Disneyland Paris for all of the close family to spend what little time they had left in a wonderland of fun.
Sadly at 4:08am July 7th the day of the trip, Maureen passed away in her sleep. While at the time I was a child I knew along with my cousins at that moment when the call came through, something very, very wrong had happened. Call it "gut instinct", but that feeling of deep dread has come only when the moments of other family members have passed on.
As I have written before, Maggie, my only blood aunt from my mothers side has been diagnosed with terminal lymphatic cancer. We, and only we know for she simply refuses to be told, were told that she would have one, perhaps two years left before it took her from us. In the last few weeks, further scans and blood work has revealed that the original estimated given was very far off. She has perhaps months left with us now, the cancer has spread from her lung/lymph nodes into her spine, stomach, hip and now close to her heart.
It pains me more, not that she is dying from this wretched diseased, that at this time her own children will not talk to her. Maggie took the only action she could in an abusive relationship and ran, she ran because she was so unhappy and made herself a new life. She desperately tried to build bridges with her children, never blaming them for what happened, but her two girls continue to ignore her attempts and barely acknowledge her existence.
I am perhaps an over emotional "old" soul for someone who is twenty something, but it really does sadden me to see so much fracturing in my family. I know that we will never always see eye to eye on all things, that is what makes the diversity of family so previous. We will bicker over trivial things of no real value, argue the toss over whom was at fault for xyz. I want to in her limited time left get her daughters to talk to her, I don't expect them to be able to put all of the past behind them, I don't delude myself with that possibility at any point.
I guess in all of this I feel powerless, powerless against a faceless, emotionless entity. Death itself, no longer frightens me, it is the end of a chapter and the start of new ones for others. It's just given me one lesson, that time is very precious, we get one life and one go.
Tonight, tell the ones you love how much they mean to you, we never truly know when we will never get that chance again.
I have only very vivid memories of her, I remember that she would always have a new box of rusks waiting for my visit to her at home. She always smiled and put on the brave face that most of those who are struck down with cancer display, she had to in front of her three children, she fought every day with pain that had her literally tearing her hair out in clumps.
Her children were robbed of a mother who was loving and gave everything in her last days to leave lasting memories. I distinctly remember that in a very rare move by the local council of Dunstable, they helped fund a trip to Disneyland Paris for all of the close family to spend what little time they had left in a wonderland of fun.
Sadly at 4:08am July 7th the day of the trip, Maureen passed away in her sleep. While at the time I was a child I knew along with my cousins at that moment when the call came through, something very, very wrong had happened. Call it "gut instinct", but that feeling of deep dread has come only when the moments of other family members have passed on.
As I have written before, Maggie, my only blood aunt from my mothers side has been diagnosed with terminal lymphatic cancer. We, and only we know for she simply refuses to be told, were told that she would have one, perhaps two years left before it took her from us. In the last few weeks, further scans and blood work has revealed that the original estimated given was very far off. She has perhaps months left with us now, the cancer has spread from her lung/lymph nodes into her spine, stomach, hip and now close to her heart.
It pains me more, not that she is dying from this wretched diseased, that at this time her own children will not talk to her. Maggie took the only action she could in an abusive relationship and ran, she ran because she was so unhappy and made herself a new life. She desperately tried to build bridges with her children, never blaming them for what happened, but her two girls continue to ignore her attempts and barely acknowledge her existence.
I am perhaps an over emotional "old" soul for someone who is twenty something, but it really does sadden me to see so much fracturing in my family. I know that we will never always see eye to eye on all things, that is what makes the diversity of family so previous. We will bicker over trivial things of no real value, argue the toss over whom was at fault for xyz. I want to in her limited time left get her daughters to talk to her, I don't expect them to be able to put all of the past behind them, I don't delude myself with that possibility at any point.
I guess in all of this I feel powerless, powerless against a faceless, emotionless entity. Death itself, no longer frightens me, it is the end of a chapter and the start of new ones for others. It's just given me one lesson, that time is very precious, we get one life and one go.
Tonight, tell the ones you love how much they mean to you, we never truly know when we will never get that chance again.