Happiness is just a word to me/And it might have meant a thing or two/If I'd known the difference

[my_fathers_gun]

I wondered if 5am was too early for a beer. I had woke up a couple of hours earlier and after showering and shaving I still couldn't get rid of the pit that was digging itself in my stomach

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[allforsurvival]

His voice sing-songed in my ear, unable to get away from the words he spoke like knives into my skin. "You know you want to, it'd be so easy, Lenore." It was Sam's voice again, tight leather straps on my wrists keeping me tightly to the chair as a shadow figure brought Dean over to me.

I screamed and tried to pull away as the knife glinted in the darkness. My eyes are fixed as I watch Sam move to his brother and slip the blade just deep enough to break skin. The scent filled the room and I struggled harder, trying to remember how many days they kept me here and how much longer than that it's been since I've fed. "Such blood..." The blade went across Dean's lower neck and he was shoved even closer to me. "C'mon, Lenore. You know that you need to feed...if you don't then you're going to die of hunger not too long after your boy here bleeds out." Sam's face comes close to my ear and I struggle hard. "Could always be the selfish whore I know you are and turn him...make him dark like you. Just one bite..."

My eyes snap open and I grip onto the pillow hard, trying to hide my nightmare from Dean who wasn't too far from me on the computer. I swallow roughly and look over to him. "Hey," I whisper, "You s-should sleep more..." Why was my voice shaky? I don't like that.

[my_fathers_gun]

I see that Lenore is frightened of something as she wakes, I look at her concernedly an frown as she tells me in a shaky voice that I should sleep more. "I'm fine, grabbed a couple of hours. How are you? Why don't you sleep some more, we don't need to leave for another couple of hours."

She looks like something scared the shit out of her and all I want to do is go over and hold her, but I can tell that she just wants me to back off for now.

[allforsurvival]

I pull up the blankets to cover my nude body and shake my head, roughly running my fingers through my hair. "Not tired." It's a lie, after everything that's gone on - not including the sex - and the fucked up dreams I could sleep for a year.

"Why don't we get breakfast and head out early?" Quietly I slip out of the bed and pad over to Dean with the sheet wrapped around me, the urge to keep as far away from him as I can but the want and desire to be near him out weighs it.

Brushing my hair from my face, I climb onto his lap and close my eyes, trying to rid the thoughts that I have out of my mind. "I hate when you lie," I finally say. "You didn't get enough sleep." A smile tugs my lips as I put on my 'I'm fine' act. "You shaved, I like it."

[my_fathers_gun]

I kiss her softly and nuzzle her neck "Your lying too. So why don't you go curl back up in bed and I'll come join you."

I rub my now-smooth chin over her skin and lick lightly at the sheen of sweat there, "Food and leaving can wait we both need to get more sleep if we're going to function."

[allforsurvival]

"Nuuh." I sigh and shrug. "Can't sleep, clown's will eat me," I joke, trying to get rid of the feeling in my stomach. "Shower."

With that I pull off his lap and head towards the shower; I shut the door behind me and drop my sheet, turning the water on hot before slipping in.

Images and flashes filled my mind as I tried to rid myself of the thoughts of my nightmare. There was no way in hell I was going to hurt Dean; I don't have it in me anymore and we're going to fix Sam soon so it'll be okay.

Cracking my neck I slip out of the water to find clothes, popping my head out for a moment. "Hungry?"

[my_fathers_gun]

I sigh as she retreats to the bathroom with a lame joke, she was closing off from me again. Though I really shouldn't be surprised. I was the master at building walls and it seemed that I had met my match.

I listen to the shower run and busy myself with getting dressed in some of the new clothes I had gotten. Pulling on my favorite jeans I slip on the new long sleeved shirt and am lacing up my boots and Lenore pops her head out the door.

"Yeah, I could eat. I really think that you should sleep some more though..."

[allforsurvival]

He's insisting that I sleep and if he keeps this shit up I'm going to lash out and tell him exactly what's going on. "I'll sleep in the car if I'm tired. I don't need sleep." Which was a lie, my body was still sore and fucked up - more from last night - from the past week and I still needed to heal.

I walk over to my bag and pull out a pair of jeans before grumbling and looking for a warmer shirt then I had. "Taking a shirt," I announce, walking over to him and dig in his bag, finally pulling out an ACDC shirt and slipping it on. It feels worn and there are even thumb holes in the sleeves that I slip in. "Hungry, don't care what you wanna eat. Not feeling real picky this morning."

[my_fathers_gun]

I run a hand through my hair and watch her as she gets dressed. She's hiding something, something that has scared and pissed her off at the same time. Something maybe I did?
Ignoring that growing pit in my stomach I grab my two bags and the laptop and make my way to the door "Alright, let's just hit the first thing that's open."

I throw the bags in the back seat and slide behind the wheel, turning over the engine and waiting for Lenore.

[allforsurvival]

He lets it drop - or so he wants me to think - for the moment but I let it go and get my bag, slowly following him down to the car. I throw my things in the back seat and climb into the front seat.

"Think that's everything." I give him a small smile and shift in the seat. Against the logical part of my mind I reach over and slip my hand into his and give it a small squeeze. "We'll get there soon..."

[my_fathers_gun]

I just raise an eyebrow and at her and don't reply. With her hand still in mine I reach over and flip on the radio and pull out of the parking lot.

"I'm not worried about how fast we get there. If I wanted fast I would just fly, no matter how much I hate it."

[allforsurvival]

"I don't fly. No amount of money or fucking will get me on a plane." Never flew, don't have any plans on changing that.

I crack my neck and slouch down in the seat, resting my knees against the dash before cracking down the window to let the morning air in.

Reaching under the seat I pull out a small thormos and take a long drink, making sure to be neat about it to keep Dean from seeing the blood. I lick my lips and slip it back under the seat.

I slip my hand into my pocket and pull out a stick of gum and pop one into my mouth. "Gum?" I offer him a piece and realize that the entire time I moved I didn't move my hand away from his.

[my_fathers_gun]

Now steering with one hand usually isn't a problem, but when what you are steering is over a ton of steel and you are trying to turn onto an on ramp with your girlfriend clutched onto your hand like an octopus. It can be tricky....

When Lenore offers me gum I look at her incredulously. "No thanks. I kinda need my hand so we don't crash and die a fiery death."

I begin to hum along to "Mississippi Queen" on the radio and keep my eyes open for signs of a restaurant open at this time of the morning.

[allforsurvival]

"Smartass." What I wanted to call him was an asshole, but it was too early for fighting. Way too early.

I take my arm from him and cross them over my chest, leaning against the other side of the car, away from him. "Wake me when we stop." I know I'm being a bitch but he did say he wanted me to sleep.

Sam better stay the fuck out of my dreams this time.

[my_fathers_gun]

I put both hands on the steering wheel missing the feel of her hand in mine. I didn't want her to take her hand away really.

As she leans back to sleep I reach in the back seat and grab the army blanket and toss it on her "Cover up, it's cold in here. I don't know if Vampires can get sick but I don't want to have to put up with snot if I don't have too."

I press the gas to the floor as "You want Blood" comes on the radio and try to ignore that feeling I was having.

[allforsurvival]

He tells me he's cold and I reach down and roll the window back up, not wanting him to get sick. I've never heard of vampire's with colds but I know from memory that human men are babies when they're sick.

I feel the car speed up and my body stars to relax, I curl myself down in the seat more, resting my head against the cool leather of the seat. The idea of knowing that he was close was enough to relax me back to sleep.

[my_fathers_gun]

tapping out the beat of the song on the steering wheel, every sign I see for food is just making my stomach turn. But after about a half an hour of driving I see a sign for a roadhouse. Thinking that this is going to be the best I get at noon, most other places are going to be filled with tourists and families and I could do with out those.

I leaned over and ran a finger over Lenore's cheek "Lenore, wake up, we're here."